Endbringers Hate Paperwork part 27 (Patreon)

Harry smiled as Ginny walked out from behind a large rock with green hair and a fluffy white robe. "Is something wrong with the dress?"

"You can see everything," Ginny complained, not particularly interested in giving everyone a free show.

"Which is why we handed you a robe," Hermione pointed out, not particularly surprised that Ginny was uncomfortable with the short skirt.

"Don't worry, you can change back once the demon takes your appearance," Myst told Ginny then used the snow globe to send Ginny to the school. "Probably for the best that I didn't give her the other ring."

"Yeah," Hermione agreed, fairly sure Ginny would have exploded if she'd ended up in a sheer dress or spandex.

"How long do you think it will take to get everything set up?" Taylor asked.

"Less than a minute for us," Myst replied, not sure how long she'd spend exploring.

Ginny blinked a couple of times when she went from a dimly lit pocket dimension to a brightly lit beach without enough warning. "That's annoying."

"You get used to it," a voice replied in a voice that sounded vaguely familiar.

Ginny focused on the naked green haired girl with ice blue eyes and a familiar face. "Is there a reason you're running around naked?"

"I haven't had a chance to get dressed," the demon replied with a grin, “nor a reason to for that matter.”

"You're the demon, aren't you?" Ginny asked as she glanced up at the skull shaped castle on the mountain she could see in the distance.

"Would you believe me if I said no?" the demon asked as she twisted so she could look at her butt.

"No," Ginny replied.

"That's fair," the demon replied with a grin. "Do you want to take some classes?"

"How much?" Ginny asked.

"The classes are free, you just have to sign the contract." The demon girl snapped her fingers and conjured a clipboard and a contract. She handed Ginny the contract. "Please read the contract in full before signing."

Ginny skimmed over the first page, not seeing any real issues with the rules for keeping the island clean and not causing damage to the jungle. She flipped to the back of the page and skimmed over the rules, getting halfway down the page before she found something that made her reconsider taking classes or signing the contract. "Why the fuck would anyone sign this?!"

"We have excellent teachers, everyone gets free room and board as well as child care and we don't grade on a curve," the demon girl replied with a smile.

"You kill anyone that fails five classes and you roast them," Ginny complained.

The demon rolled her eyes. "I wouldn't worry about it, you can leave the school at any point before finals and you can withdraw from classes before the halfway point without penalty. The previous headmaster just wanted to make sure students had a reason to put in a certain amount of effort."

"So, you're not just trying to trick people into getting themselves killed?" Ginny asked.

"Of course not," the demon assured her. "Tell you what, I'll give you a tour and let you meet some of the teachers and see the types of classes we have."

"Might as well," Ginny admitted, curious about the massive skull shaped castle.

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Ginny blinked as she walked through the archway on the beach and reappeared in the pocket dimension. "If we can get the contract adjusted, I wouldn't mind taking a couple of classes or finishing my degree before going back."

Hermione glanced at the clipboard Ginny was holding. "What's wrong with the contract?"

Ginny handed her the clipboard. "The demon basically eats the students that fail five classes."

Taylor stared at Ginny in disbelief. "It eats people?"

"The old headmaster hated lazy people," Ginny explained.

"That's barbaric," Hermione complained when she read the part of the contract that talked about killing the lazy students. 'Then again, maybe a bit of fear would have improved Ron's grades.'

"Can you leave after failing a couple of classes?" Taylor asked, thinking about Winslow and how much a zero tolerance policy would have helped. "That sounds too easy to abuse," she complained, thinking about Blackwell.

"There are provisions for withdrawing from classes and leaving the school so it's not quite as bad as it sounds but yeah, it's certainly something you'd have to pay attention to," Ginny warned everyone.

"Makes sense," Amy mused, thinking about the other snow globe and how it worked.

"How?" Harry asked.

"If you're basically using everyone's magical growth to increase your mana, lazy magic users aren't particularly valuable which means killing them and using them for a quick boost is more effective than letting him cause trouble for the rest of the students," Amy explained.

Myst focused on the snow globe and called forth the demon, causing a naked copy of Ginny to appear.

"Headmaster, is there something you need?" the demon asked as she glanced around the pocket dimension.

"Would breaking your oaths keep the students safer?" Myst asked.

"Sure," the demon lied, hiding her smile since breaking her bindings would let her eat troublemakers that liked hiding behind the letter of the rules rather than the spirit. "It would let me banish the students if there were mitigating circumstances or deal with troublemakers before things get messy."

Myst scanned the demon and frowned when he got patterns for a demon of sin and a gluttony demon that got power by eating magical creatures. 'Yeah, not sure I believe you, the other girl counts as a spirit, you're an actual demon,' he mused. He turned to look at Amy. "Does your upgrade ability let you see her actual oaths?"

"Let me check," Amy replied as she used her ability to check the demon's oaths. "We're going to need an expert at contract law, can you grab Constantine?"

"Sure," Myst replied as he used his summoning power to check on the version of John he'd already summoned. 'In the library, reading. Good enough,' he mused as he summoned the warlock.

John glanced around then focused on Myst. "What's up?"

Myst gestured at the naked demon. "She's bound to the tropical island school but she's an actual demon rather than a spirit. I figured I'd let you look over the contract and her bindings before I started sending students to the island. How much do you want to look things over?"

"I'd take another staff and a copy of the library," John replied with a grin.

"You're welcome to make a copy," Myst told him.

"Deal," John agreed.

"Cool, I'll work on filling up the snow globe," Myst replied as he turned to look at Hermione. "Who should I start with?"

"Give me a second." Hermione handed John the clipboard and pulled her notebook out of her pocket so she could look at the list she'd already started.

0o0o0

Hermione watched Taylor vanish with the last of her list of people that would want a free magical education then looked at Myst and the older Harry. "Now that Harry has had a chance to rest and we're done with my list, do we have a plan that doesn't involve Harry taking a death curse to the face?"

"Wouldn't be the first time," Harry replied as he got to his feet, happy that Myst's spell had cured the worst of the damage he'd managed to inflict on himself.

"I suggest dodging," the older Harry cheerfully offered, not particularly worried about things since the other Harry had been planning on reloading his save game anyways.

"I might have a couple of ideas," Myst mused as he resummoned Taylor.

"Thanks," Taylor replied.

"What are you thinking?" Ginny asked.

"That depends," Myst replied as he turned to look at Hermione. "Do you want Draco dead or do you want to torture him to death?"

Hermione considered the question for a couple of seconds then shook her head. "I'll settle for him never being able to hurt anyone. What are you thinking?"

"Harry has a death curse waiting for him when he gets back and Draco would make a nice meat shield. We'd just have to knock him out and have Harry holding him when I send him back," Myst explained.

Harry shook his head. "I think you're forgetting, I'm seven and my strength score sucks."

"I can cast a featherlight charm on him," Hermione pointed out.

"That works," Harry admitted. "I don't have a problem with killing him after what he tried, but I'm not sure avoiding the death curse actually helps. I'm going to have to reset things eventually because I can't finish the mission. I'm also out of money for the ritual supplies."

"Have you tried robbing the bank?" Noelle asked, wondering how dangerous the goblins were.

Harry scowled as he thought about the goblins that had tossed him out of the bank when he'd demanded information about his account. "They hit extremely hard and I don't have armor or a decent wand."

"Is there a reason you can't grab your wand from Ollivanders?" Ginny asked.

"There's an age line on the door and I can't destroy the windows, it's a game thing," Harry complained.

"There might be a back entrance," Noelle mused.

"No clue, you can't get to the backroom when you're supposed to be there because Ollivander stops you. It's another annoying game thing," Harry complained.

Taylor turned to look at Myst. "Do you think the magic girl rings would help?"

"Magic girl rings?" Harry asked, not sure what they were talking about.

Amy pulled her attention off the demon on the other platform and looked at Harry. "One of the rings turns you into a teenage girl."

Myst glanced at Amy then focused on Harry and Taylor. "If the age line could read Harry's actual age, it wouldn't stop him so it probably just checks his physical age. Unless it checks the age he's supposed to be, in which case we'll have to try something else. It's worth a try if Harry can avoid the death curse."

"Yeah, no point wasting valuable magical items if I'm just going to lose them," Harry agreed.

"Speaking of magic items, can you grab anything from when you're a baby?" Noelle asked thoughtfully.

Harry shook his head. "I tried, it empties my inventory."

"How much do your magical skills grow between scenarios?" Noelle asked, wondering if they could use the time skips to improve his skills.

Harry considered the question for a minute, trying to remember specific examples. "I think it depends on how much effort you put into things. I remember being annoyed the second time I started over because I got shit for skill growth in potions. I didn't bother to grind the hell out of my potions skill the first chance I got since I was feeling lazy and thought I could skate on what I’d learned in earlier games. You might get more the less you have but eventually classes are a nightmare if you don't keep up with your skills so I'm not sure how things work."

"Can you get into a potions lab when you're a toddler?" Noelle asked.

Harry shook his head. "I tried, there's an age line."

Noelle nodded, not particularly surprised that magic users would use age lines to baby proof a house. "It's worth checking if he can get past the age line at Ollivander’s."

"Cool, I think we have the start of a plan. Taylor gives Harry invulnerability, then I'll summon Draco. Once everyone stuns him and Hermione sticks a featherlight charm on him, I'll send Harry back. If he makes it out of the alley, I'll summon him back and we can give him a magic girl ring to see if he can get into the shop and grab a decent wand."

"Sounds like a plan," Harry agreed, looking forward to exploring Gringotts and looting it to the ground so he could continue using the ritual to improve his skills. "I should be able to get some decent loot from the goblins."

Taylor reached over and touched Harry's arm, giving the kid invulnerability. "The invulnerability ability should last six hours. I'd avoid getting hit by any death curses, but it should protect you against anything physical."

"Thanks. Anything else before we see if Draco is actually useful for something?" Harry asked.

"Nope," Myst replied as he gestured to a spot off to the side of the group. "Grab your wands." He focused on Hermione's version of Draco while the magic users grabbed their wands. "I'll summon him in five, four, three, two, one." He summoned Draco facing away from the group.

"What-" Draco's question was cut off by the four stunners that hit him in the back, causing him to faceplant in the sand.

Myst walked over and used his foot to roll the unconscious wizard over so he wouldn't suffocate. "You're up Hermione."

Hermione quickly stole Draco's wand, money pouch, his spare wand and a nasty looking magical dagger in a hidden pouch, his platinum hair clip and everything of value in his pockets including a pepper up potion, putting her Pickpocket skill to good use. She cast a featherlight charm on Draco. "That should do it."

Harry picked up the unconscious teenager and adjusted his grip so that he could use him as a shield. "I'm ready."

"Best of luck." Myst banished Harry then used his summoning ability to skim the next couple of minutes of Harry's life, wanting to make sure he was actually safe before he risked the magic girl ring. "Harry survived and nothing of value was lost."

"Draco?" Hermione asked.

"Like I said, nothing of value was lost, he's dead," Myst assured her as he summoned Harry from a minute after Harry walked into Diagon Alley. "Welcome back."

"Thanks," Harry replied as he glanced around. 'They're standing in the same place, I probably didn't miss anything.'

Myst handed Harry the magic girl ring that would turn him into a teenager and the spatial ring with his stuff then handed him three bags filled with silver coins. "This should be enough for your wand."

Harry put the bags of silver into his inventory and checked the total. "Should be fine."

"Just put the magic girl ring on and focus on changing," Myst suggested.

"You should probably wait until you get back so you don't cause things to glitch," Noelle warned him.

"Glitch?" Harry asked.

"What happens if you reset things and find out you're stuck as a girl because the game didn't register the change?" she asked, fairly sure that wouldn't happen but not seeing a point in risking it.

"Point," Harry admitted, not seeing a reason to risk getting stuck as a girl.

"Don't forget to check Borgin and Burkes, they have a vanishing cabinet that links to Hogwarts. You might be able to get into the library," Noelle suggested.

"Vanishing cabinet?" Harry asked.

"They're basically teleportation devices, you step in one and out the other," Myst explained.

"Do you think we could steal the vanishing cabinet and use it to save my parents?" Harry asked hopefully.

"No clue," Myst admitted. "It's probably worth trying if the cabinet in the shop connects to Hogwarts. I'll summon you before you die or when you raise her hand and say 'Beam me up Scotty.'"

"That works," Harry agreed, thinking about the part of an episode of Star Trek that he'd caught while at Mrs. Figgs that had included them using that particular line.

Myst let the younger Harry vanish and used his summoning ability to skim the next six hours of Harry's life until he got killed by Borgin for picking up the vanishing cabinet. "Nice call on the magic girl ring, Harry managed to pick up his wand. He also managed to steal an obscene amount of gold from the goblins before he escaped and headed to Hogwarts."

"Did he manage to steal everything from the library?" Noelle asked.

"No but he managed to steal a decent amount of books from the restricted section before Filch found him," Myst replied with a grin as he skimmed over Harry's frantic escape from Hogwarts.

"Game over?" Hermione asked, thinking about the annoying caretaker that had managed to catch her a couple of times on her own adventures.

"Nope, Harry managed to kill him by knocking him into one of the cursed books. Unfortunately or fortunately depending on how you look at it, Filch's death caused an alarm that caused all of the suits of armor in the castle to animate and try to kill him."

Hermione stared at Myst. "How is that a good thing?"

"It gave him an insane amount of experience and a couple of nice pieces of magical armor," Myst replied with a grin as he summoned Harry from right before Borgin managed to hit him with a death curse, causing the mutated looking Harry to appear holding the vanishing cabinet.

"Shit!" Harry sputtered as he fell over backwards when the sand shifted under him.

Myst telekinetically reached out and grabbed the vanishing cabinet before it could land on the green haired girl in a blood covered dress. "Medic."

Amy gestured and healed the girl with a cure spell then stepped forward and checked her health with her power. "You're falling apart."

"I'm aware," Harry admitted as he started moving everything in his inventory to the spatial ring, knowing he'd done a number on himself with the last round of rituals and probably only had another twenty minutes before he fell over dead since the Esuna spell Myst had taught him hadn't fixed the timer on his display.

Myst made sure the cabinet wasn't going to fall over then pulled his staff out of his spatial ring and cast Esuna on Harry, causing a couple of curses to vanish but not actually fixing the worst of the problems. "Can you fix it Amy?"

"I'm not even sure where to start," Amy admitted as she went to work trying to fix the worst of the damage, if only because it was good practice and her power thought the damage was interesting.

"You could try summoning Bill," Ginny said, knowing Bill had experience with strange curses.

"Don't worry about it," Harry told her as he finished moving everything he'd picked up from his mad dash through Hogwarts to the spatial ring. He took the spatial ring off then sat up and tossed the ring to Myst. "I should have plenty of time to make a bunch of skill books before I reset things."

Amy pulled her hand back when she finished fixing the various stab wounds so he wouldn't bleed out. "I've fixed the worst of the damage."

"Thanks," Harry replied then started conjuring skill books for the skills he'd managed to improve.

"Do we have a plan for the next bit?" Hermione asked as she glanced between Harry and Myst.

Myst glanced over at where Constantine was discussing something with the demon from the island snow globe. "I have a couple of ideas." He turned his head and looked at the younger Harry. "How many save games do you have?" he asked, wanting to make sure he hadn't missed something when he was skimming everything.

"Three," Harry replied between conjuring skill books.

"Nice," Myst replied with a yawn. "That means you can afford to 'waste' one on Godric's Hollow before you do anything that locks you out of options."

"Easy," Harry agreed, looking forward to having a tricked out save he could just restore if he needed to reset things. "The save game orb is in my room which is where I start so I'm not losing anything by using it the first chance I get."

"Perfect," Myst replied as Constantine and the demon started walking back over. "You can give me the magic girl ring once you're done with the books and I'll summon you after you reset the game. A couple of hundred demons should be worth a decent amount of experience."

"Not to mention loot," Hermione added, looking forward to seeing what they could get.

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