Endbringers Hate Paperwork Part 15 (Patreon)

"Is that what would have happened if I hadn't tripped on the coins Abu dropped?" Aladdin asked thoughtfully as the credits started playing.

"Nothing is set in stone," Myst warned him. "You might have pulled everything off without Jafar becoming an all powerful genie or maybe you'd have slipped off the roof or tripped over a bit of junk that someone left in the street and been stabbed by the guards."

"Do you have any advice for dealing with Jafar and his guards?" Aladdin asked.

"How many guards?" Myst asked.

"Three," Aladdin replied.

"I'd suggest grabbing the flying carpet and running but you'd never be able to go home which would make it harder to catch the princess's interest." Myst glanced at his genie. "Do you mind granting Aladdin magic?"

"I'd need a wish," Othala's clone admitted, knowing she could only get away with little things without an actual wish.

Myst levitated the clone's bottle over to Aladdin. "I suggest wishing for as much magic as she can grant without changing you into something immortal and knowledge of magic for the second."

"What about the third?" Aladdin asked.

"You'll probably want to avoid wishing for anything that you can easily duplicate with magic or that you can easily acquire using magic," Myst mused as he tried to come up with something that wouldn't be a waste of a wish.

"Can you read?" Amy asked.

Aladdin turned to look at Amy. "I'm not a scribe or a noble."

"Not that bad idea," Myst mused. "Wish for magic, the knowledge of magic and wish for all of the knowledge and experience of a twenty-first century education complete with doctorates in Anthropology, Chemistry and Art, that should give you a decent background."

"Or make his brain melt," Genie warned them.

The clone glanced at Genie then focused on Aladdin. "Don't worry, there's a bit of wiggle room in a wish."

"I wish for as much magic as you can safely give me," Aladdin stated, wanting to avoid his brain leaking out of his ears.

"Nice wish," Genie offered.

"Your wish is my command!" the clone announced as she gestured at Aladdin and filled him with magic and potential.

Aladdin blinked a couple of times as everything started glowing weird colors. "I can't see straight."

"That's the magic," the clone replied with a grin. "You should probably make your second wish."

"For my second and third wishes, I wish for as much knowledge of magic as you can safely give me and the knowledge and experience of a twenty-first century education complete with doctorates in the subjects Myst suggested," Aladdin stated, not actually sure what a doctorate was or why knowledge of art would help.

"Wishes granted!" the clone stated as she gestured and burned the knowledge of another life into Aladdin's head, causing him to drop to the ground unconscious.

"Was that supposed to happen?" Tony asked as Myst lowered Aladdin into one of the theater chairs with telekinesis and retrieved his bottle.

"I might have gone a bit overboard," the clone admitted. "I basically gave him all of the memories of growing up in the last part of the twentieth century and getting a doctorate in Anthropology, Chemistry and an extensive collection of Art classes while taking magic classes on the side."

"You gave him someone else's memories?" Vicky asked warily.

"No, I basically copied his mind and ran it through a simulation where I turned him into a five year old and dropped him in the last part of the twentieth century. He went to public education for six years then magic school for seven. He's actually decently intelligent, he just didn't know how to apply it. After he finished magic school, he went to a university to learn art and things sort of spiraled into picking up additional classes, mostly because one of his spells lets him use shadow clones to be in multiple places at once."

"Is he going to miss his friends and family?" Aerith asked, knowing she'd miss the friends even if they were just memories.

"Not enough to matter," the clone replied with a shrug. "His parents moved around a lot when he was younger and magic came easy because of his talents which meant that he didn't have a lot of close friends in magic school."

"Can I make a wish?" Cloud asked.

"What are you thinking?" Myst asked as he turned to look at Cloud.

Cloud glanced at the female genie. "I was thinking about wishing for the ability to permanently learn spells and abilities from materia or magic items by touching them and activating the power. Would that work?"

"Not the worst idea," the clone mused, thinking about the various ways she could make the wish work that wouldn't cause him trouble.

Myst tossed Cloud the bottle. "Go for it."

"I wish for my party to have the ability to permanently acquire knowledge of spells that would duplicate the spells or abilities magical items grant," Cloud stated, hoping he wasn't making a mistake but tired of having to swap materia all the time.

"Wish granted," the clone stated as she zapped Cloud, giving him the ability.

"Can I make another wish?" Cloud asked.

The clone shrugged. "Just don't free me or wish for something stupid."

"Go for it," Myst told him, not seeing a problem with letting him grab some wishes as he could summon the bottle before he finished any particularly stupid wishes.

"I wish for all of the knowledge and power I'd need to create Item Worlds," Cloud stated, knowing he wouldn't have enough time to master them himself and wanting the ability.

"Wish granted," she said cheerfully as she snapped her fingers.

"Thank you," Cloud replied absently as he mentally reviewed the new information.

"Can I make a wish?" Vicky asked hopefully.

"You should probably write them down," Myst suggested, wanting to make sure the wishes were at least reasonably useful and air tight before they made them.

"Wishing for magic and lessons are decent wishes, that leaves one wish," Tony mused.

"Does anyone have any aspirin?" Aladdin asked as he rubbed his temples.

The clone smiled at Aladdin. "Don't worry, the pain should fade in a couple of minutes."

"This is worse than letting Frank make the drinks," Aladdin complained, glad that he was sitting down.

"Can I wish for the ability to steal people's attributes?" Yuffie asked hopefully.

Tifa playfully swatted Yuffie's head. "No."

Yuffie stuck her tongue out at Tifa. "It would be great, I'd be able to steal strength and magic from all of the monsters that we're fighting."

"Not the worst idea," Tony said thoughtfully.

"You'd have diminishing returns," the clone warned her.

"Still worth it," Yuffie stated firmly.

Myst glanced at the monster glaring at them from the other platform. "I should probably check something before we send you back." He focused on the version of Anakin that he'd summoned before and summoned him.

Anakin glanced around then focused on Myst. "Is this going to be a habit?"

"Only if you want a vacation," Myst replied with a grin. "Did Palpatine still have his lightsaber when you got back?"

"No, just force lightning," Anakin complained, still a bit shaken up by the fight despite their victory as the Senator had covered most of the room with lightning in an attempt to escape and used several tricks he hadn't known were possible. "We should have stuck a blindfold on him before we sent him back, his eyes regenerated."

"Good to know," Myst mused as he focused on the Green Goblin and sorted through the various timelines for a version that was a brilliant scientist and a bastard rather than just a corrupt or overworked C.E.O. He smiled as he found a version of The Green Goblin that was just starting a bombing spree that would end up dead in a couple of hours. "I want to test something, try not to talk in case he recognizes your voice Tony."

"Sure," Tony replied, knowing he was famous.

Myst summoned Osborn and his glider, figuring letting him fall to his death was better than letting him die after a pointless fight against Spiderman that caused millions of dollars in damage and ended up ruining Harry's life when he learned that his friend had killed his father. He reached out with telekinesis and grabbed the armored villain before he could turn and look at the group, mostly because he didn't want the asshole recognizing Tony on the off chance that their version of Iron Man looked or sounded the same.

"Where am I?!" The Green Goblin demanded, finding himself in a strange location and unable to move.

"Studio 42," Myst lied as he pulled Victor out of his spatial ring and started stealing Osborn's tech skills. "Is there a reason you were planning on blowing up the city?"

"They don't respect my genius!" The Green Goblin screamed, wishing he could reach his bombs.

"Fairy dust?" Vicky asked thoughtfully.

"Just a second," Myst said as he turned and looked at Yuffie. "Can you steal his gear?"

"Don't you dare!" The Green Goblin screamed.

Yuffie gave Myst a look that implied he was being stupid then started throwing punches across the 'room' at the villain on the glider, stealing a piece of gear with each hit thanks to her mug and long range materia. "Piece of cake."

"I'm going to kill you!" The Green Goblin shouted.

Myst swapped to stealing his business skills once he was done with electronics, mechanics, engineering and chemistry.

"Yoink!" Yuffie cheered when she managed to steal his glider.

Myst finished stealing the man's noteworthy skills then floated the villain over to Taylor. "You should poke his arm."

Taylor poked the villain, picking up an unlock for multiple personalities, regeneration and enhanced agility, endurance, intelligence and strength. "We're good."

Myst floated the villain over to Amy. "See what you can get from him."

Amy reached out and touched the villain's arm and stared into space as she 'looked' at the changes something had made to his body. "I can probably duplicate his strength, endurance and regeneration and at least part of his enhanced agility." She turned to look at Anakin. "How do you feel about being a hell of a lot stronger?"

Vicky grinned as she thought about having regeneration. "Sign me up!"

"You can't just copy my powers!" The Green Goblin shouted, sounding extremely offended.

"You shouldn't have been a homicidal lunatic," Myst pointed out as he grabbed The Goblin's tongue with his telekinesis so he couldn't talk.

"How much stronger?" Anakin asked thoughtfully.

"You'd probably be able to lift a few tons without any real effort," Amy told him, not sure how much of the villain's strength she could give him but figuring she could probably increase his strength by at least five to ten times his current strength and fix his arm while she was at it.

"Can you fix his hand?" Myst asked.

"I'll need a bag of onions," Amy said, knowing she'd need the extra biomass.

"Why onions?" Aladdin asked.

"My power requires biomass to work which means I need something organic to turn into the extra muscles and bones," Amy explained.

"Probably less traumatic than using a dead pig," Aladdin mused, thinking about some of the monster movies he'd seen over the last couple of years.

Amy glanced at the villain that was floating in the air. "Not to mention easier and less messy."

"Give me a second," Myst replied as he focused on his summoning ability and found a 'mad scientist' version of Kara Zor-El that was picking up a bag of onions in her apartment. "Don't attack the next summon, she's a hero."

"Does that mean we can't steal her stuff?" Yuffie asked with a grin, mostly joking about stealing their stuff.

"Probably for the best," Myst told her and summoned Kara.

"What?" Kara blurted as she found herself in a weird pocket dimension filled with stars, floating platforms and strange people. "Great, so much for putting stuff away before it spoils."

Amy glanced between Vicky and Kara, wondering what type of powers she had and if enhanced appearance counted as a power because she was one of the most if not the most attractive person she'd seen.

"Don't worry, you'll be back less than a second after you left," Myst assured her. "I just need to buy some onions so I can fix my friend's hand."

Kara glanced at Anakin's artificial hand then focused on the half dressed middle aged man that was floating in the air. "How did you lose your hand and why do you have a prisoner?"

"He's a homicidal lunatic that was trying to destroy a city," Myst explained.

"Fallen jedi that was starting to become a sith," Anakin replied.

"Jedi? As in Star Wars?" Kara asked with a raised eyebrow.

Myst gestured at Anakin. "Anakin, Kara Zor-El, Kara, Anakin Skywalker."

"Me'gan, this is a joke, right?" Kara asked as she looked around, trying to check on the detail of the various objects she could see in case she was in a mind trap.

"You're not hallucinating Kara," Genie assured her as he conjured a bag of popcorn.

Kara turned and stared when she noticed the genies that she'd missed before because she was focusing on the rest of the group. "Are you genies?"

"Yes," Genie replied with a smile.

Kara carefully tore the bag of onions open and grabbed two onions. "Go for it, I can always buy another bag."

"Thank you," Amy replied as she accepted the bag of onions and got to work fixing Anakin's hand.

Kara watched the metal and inorganic bits of his artificial hand hit the ground and the stump start regenerating before her eyes. "Biokinesis?"

"Yes," Amy admitted as she worked on turning the onions into a flesh and blood hand, using his other hand and his genetics for a template.

"What are you going to do with the prisoner?" Kara asked.

Myst pulled his attention away from Kara's generous but not over the top breasts, happy that he was tall enough she probably didn't notice. "We're going to try to cure his insanity."

"You can cure insanity?" Kara asked as she turned to look at Myst, thinking about the number of genius inventors that became villains because of certain mental… quirks.

"He was stupid enough to experiment on himself rather than wait for volunteers and the formula didn’t play well with certain genetic traits he had," Myst explained, not particularly impressed with the man's wisdom score.

"Great, one of those," Kara complained, thinking about the various villains she knew of that had gone around the bend because of bad experiments. "There's a reason you're supposed to use proper safety protocols in the lab."

"Are you a tinker?" Vicky asked Kara as Amy worked on Anakin's hand, having noticed the way that she was looking at the cybernetic hand.

"Tinker?" Kara asked, not quite sure what she meant.

"They're basically inventors that create and use high tech devices," Vicky explained.

Myst shook his head. "They're less inventors and more metahumans with the ability to build strange devices that they don't really understand and are hard to reverse engineer."

Kara glanced between Myst and Vicky then shook her head. "No, I actually understand the science behind my inventions."

"What type of gear do you use?" Aladdin asked, thinking about some of the movies he'd seen about mad scientist heroes and wondering if they were close.

Kara turned to look at Aladdin. "I'm always adjusting my gear but I like force fields and tractor beams. They're useful for avoiding getting shot or fried with certain types of radiation or when you have to catch people falling out of a building."

"Does that happen often?" Tifa asked.

"More than I'd like," Kara admitted. "I also supply some of the local heroes with force field belts, they won't stand up to a couple of tons of dynamite but they're decent for the small stuff."

Vicky stared at Kara. "You consider a couple of tons of dynamite small stuff?"

"When you have people running around that can play pool with planets or erase cities from the map, everything else sort of looks small," Kara admitted.

"How do you feel about giant city destroying monsters?" Vicky asked.

"I'm generally not a fan, why?" Kara asked.

"Because we have a couple," Vicky complained. "Leviathan is probably the least problematic of the three. He's just a Hydrokinetic with enough power to sink islands. Behemoth can control most types of energy in the area and produces enough radiation to leave the cities he attacks radioactive wastelands. The Simurgh has a psychic scream that drives people insane if they listen to it for more than a couple of minutes. She also has enough telekinesis to rip skyscrapers apart and toss them at you."

"How long have they been running around?" Kara asked.

"A couple of decades," Taylor grumbled.

"And no one has managed to kill them?" Kara asked in disbelief.

"They generally only attack every three or four months and the capes generally manage to drive them off or they complete their objective and leave on their own after destroying a major city," Vicky explained.

"Do you have any hard numbers?" Kara asked, wanting to know what she'd have to bring to the table to destroy them.

"Here," Tony offered in a gravelly voice he was fairly sure the villain wouldn't recognize and tossed Kara the cell phone he'd been borrowing with the endbringer information.

Kara caught the phone and looked over the information. "Does your world have a lot of healers?"

"No," Amy complained, wishing there were more.

Kara spent a minute reading through the information on the endbringers. "I'm going to need my gear or a decent lab so I can build a scanner, but I should be able to help with your monster problem. Can you summon people by name?"

"Who do you have in mind?" Myst asked.

"A friend of mine had her back broken a couple of years ago, we haven't been able to find anything to fix it," Kara admitted, still annoyed that there was some type of curse on her friend that prevented them from healing her.

"Shouldn't be a problem," Amy replied as she finished regrowing Anakin's hand and swapped to upgrading his body, using the stuff she'd learned to make improvements.

"Does your friend have a name?" Myst asked.

"Barbara Gordon," Kara replied, hoping she wasn't making a mistake.

Myst focused on Kara's version of Barbara Gordon and summoned her, causing an attractive red haired girl in a wheelchair to appear.

Barabara looked around at the strange world she found herself and at the unfamiliar people before locking on her friend. "What's going on?"

"They have a healer and the ability to summon people," Kara explained.

Myst pulled a bag of fairy dust from his spatial ring. "You grew up in Gotham, you should probably get decursed before you get healed."

"How?" Barabara asked.

"Fairy dust," Myst replied as he tossed her the bag of dust.

"Fairy dust?" Barbara asked warily.

Kara gestured towards the cybernetic hand that was on the ground next to Anakin. "She regrew his hand and Zatanna complained about a curse that she couldn't break."

"What do I do with it?" Barabara asked.

"Pour it over your legs," Myst suggested.

Barabara poured the dust over her legs and froze when she realized she could feel her toes and legs. "I can feel my legs!"

"Being paralyzed is a status effect," Myst explained, a bit surprised that it counted. He looked at Amy. "Are you done with the Goblin?"

"Go ahead and dust him," Amy told Myst.

Myst tossed the dust at The Goblin and let go of his tongue with his telekinesis. "How do you feel?"

"Where am I?" Osborn asked, not sure what was going on.

"What's the last thing you remember?" Myst asked.

Osborn considered the question. "I was in my lab, trying to figure out how to deal with the board of directors when I heard a voice. I don't know what it said, just that it was angry."

Myst glanced at Genie. "Can you tell if he's telling the truth?"

Genie conjured a large magnifying glass and made a show of looking through it at Osborn. "He's fine, the insanity counts as a status effect as you guessed so he's back to normal."

"Now I just have to figure out how to get him back without having him splatter on the pavement. Let me check on Data real quick so we can be sure temporary effects carry over upon return," Myst mused as he focused on the version of Data he'd summoned before and summoned him, causing the android to appear. "Nice to see that you survived."

Data glanced around then focused on Myst. "I destroyed the ship, I should have been vaporized, but somehow I survived the explosion with no noticeable damage."

Myst smiled at the android. "I gave you a temporary boost to your durability. I’ll send you back now, try to stay out of trouble."

"I shall try," Data assured him. “There is very little ‘trouble’ I can get into while waiting in orbit, so it’s not a difficult proposition.”

"Just a second," Taylor said as she made a cloak of levitation and handed it to Data. "This should let you fly back to somewhere safer."

"How?" Data asked as he fastened the cloak on.

"Just think about flying," Taylor said, figuring that would be easier than trying to convince the android that magic existed.

“Live long and prosper,” Myst said and let Data vanish then looked at Taylor. "Can you give Osborn durability?"

"Sure," Taylor replied as she walked over, poked him with her finger and gave him durability. "Done."

"Cool," Myst replied as he pulled out a bag of fairy dust. "If you hit your son with the dust it should fix any mental issues before they develop. Can you give him flight so he doesn't have a heart attack or nightmares?"

"Sure," Taylor said as she created another cloak and handed it to the former villain.

Osborn sighed in relief as he realized he could move his arms enough to put the cloak on, confused about what was going on, but feeling like a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders for some reason. "So I just have to think of flying?"

"Basically," Myst agreed as he handed Osborn the dust. "Just hit Harry with the dust and your family should be able to avoid any genetic issues." He let Osborn vanish. "That's one less villain Spiderman will have to worry about."

"How far do you think he'll drop?" Yuffie asked.

"A couple of feet before the cloak starts flying itself," Myst admitted. "Worst case, he'll pancake on the sidewalk which is why we gave him durability."

"What's going on?" Barbara asked as she worked on wiggling her toes.

"They summoned me because they needed a couple of city destroying monsters taken care of and a bag of onions so they could regrow Anakin's hand. I figured they might be able to fix your spine," Kara explained.

Barabara raised her eyebrows. "Onions?"

"Biomass," Amy offered.

"Makes sense," Barbara mused, eyes alert as she looked about and started compiling information about the situation they were in and the people around them. "What can you tell me about the monsters?"

Kara handed Barbara the cell. "We're going to need a decent scanner but we should be able to help."

"We could probably summon Bahamut," Tifa mused.

"Something to consider," Cloud agreed as he walked over to look at the information on the monster.

Taylor walked over and brushed Kara's elbow as she looked at the phone, picking up a Kryptonian unlock along with a bunch of powers that filled her floating screen. She pulled up the Kryptonian species and frowned when she realized it was locked because she didn't have enough mana. 'At least I have the pattern,' she mused when she looked at the mana cost for the rest of Kara's abilities, not particularly surprised that they were expensive. [Did you know that Kara makes Alexandria look like a twelve year old chemo patient?]

[I'm aware], Myst replied, not remotely interested in playing fair considering the other endbringers were probably coming for him or at least going to focus on him during battles.

"Hmm," Barbara mused as she looked over the information on the phone, trying to get an idea of how dangerous the creatures were when most of the data on them was restricted.

"We should probably torch the last monster and start working on the next level," Taylor suggested as she had her minion touch the redhead in the wheelchair, giving her enhanced durability.

"Next level?" Barbara asked.

"We're basically inside a pocket dimension that creates monsters for training and profit," Myst explained.

"Like a holodeck," Kara mused as she glanced at the puppet dressed like a mobster. "What's with the puppet?"

"Part of my power, the mobster can give people extra durability," Taylor explained as Amy walked over and picked up the cybernetic hand.

"That would be a nice power for a team leader," Kara mused, thinking of all of the times she wished she could just hand the rest of the heroes extra durability so she didn't have to worry about some idiot killing them.

"That's the plan," Taylor agreed.

"Do you want to keep the hand?" Amy asked, wondering if Dragon could reverse engineer it.

Anakin shook his head. "Not particularly."

Amy stuck the robotic hand in her spatial ring. "Thanks, I have a friend that deals with technology, she might be able to replicate it or at least learn something useful from it that would help a lot of people."

"That's better than turning it into a bad joke," Anakin said, fairly sure he'd have stuck it in his pocket waiting for someone to ask for a hand.

"And we're done." Cloud drew his sword and slashed the last monster, instantly killing it and causing the level to change.

Kara glanced around at monsters that were rushing towards them. "Makes me wish I had my bracer, I wanted to experiment with a new power setting and could use it to just toss them off the edge while doing so."

Myst cast his comet spell, causing dozens of flaming rocks to fall from the sky. "That's why we have magic."

“Not to mention we only get points and coins etc for destroying them,” Vicky said cheerfully.

"It’s too bad magic takes such an enormous amount of time to learn," Barbara said, “because the types I’ve seen you use have been extremely useful.”

"Yep," Myst replied with a grin, curious how things would change if Batgirl picked up a decent amount of magic, “and it’s something that takes very little time to learn.”

“Color me interested,” Barbara said, “are you willing to teach?”

“And how many doses of pixie dust can I talk you out of?” Kara added.

Myst grinned. “Both of those goals are accomplished by completing levels. Interested in helping out?”

"If you have everything in hand, I need to be getting back to my wife," Anakin said, wanting to get back.

Taylor created another levitation cloak and handed it to Anakin. "One complementary Cloak of Levitation."

"And a box of healing items," Amy said as she pulled a box filled with healing items out of her spatial ring and handed them to Anakin.

"Thank you," Anakin told them.

"Best of luck, we'll check in later," Myst told him, then let Anakin vanish. He turned to look at Aladdin and Genie. "Are you ready to head back and play out your adventure without Jafar realizing you're actually free?"

Aladdin turned to look at Genie. "What do you think?"

"I think it's going to be hilarious," Genie replied with a grin.

"I've always wondered why blue?" Barbara asked Genie.

"This is my favorite color, robin's egg blue," he replied with a wink then snapped his fingers and vanished with Aladdin.

"Huh, ultimate cosmic power," Myst mused as he hadn't dismissed them. "Let's get to work."