Endbringers Hate Paperwork Part 14 (Patreon)

Tony smirked as he connected the last connector and flipped the switch on the alien device, causing the triplicator to duplicate the dagger they were using to test things without converting the original to energy as that was more power intensive than just making the copies. "We can worry about automating the combination process later."

Myst glanced between the shiny dagger on the left platform and the rusted piece of shit on the right platform that looked to have been left in a swamp for a couple of years. "You're up," he told the demon girl.

The item girl walked over and picked up the duplicated blade on the left platform and examined it, trying to get an idea how it compared to the original. "It feels unstable and slightly more dangerous than the original." She set the blade back on the platform and examined the rust covered blade on the right platform without touching it. "So much for jumping into both daggers and combining them."

"Dangerous?" Noelle asked.

"Not particularly," the demon girl replied as she took a step back from the machine. "It's less dangerous than the original and the original is a basic dagger without a story, you'd probably have more trouble with chewing gum. The problem is that all of the flaws would be amplified."

Myst cast his identify spell on the rusty dagger and looked at the display. "Weird."

"Weird?" Taylor asked, curious what he meant.

"Give me a second," Myst replied absently as he focused on the shiny dagger and cast his identify spell. "So much for mass-producing magic items, they barely count as magic."

"Probably for the best," Tony mused. "Creating matter from energy already takes an insane amount of energy even without including the exotic energy that’s needed for… magic."

Myst glanced at Yuffie who was looking bored. "We might as well table the idea until we've run through the buster sword."

"I'm going to need a weapon," Tony pointed out, automatically including himself.

Noelle glanced at the stack of spell tomes sitting on the desk. "If we copy the spell tomes, could you enchant the better versions?"

Myst glanced at the collection of spell tomes they'd collected from the Diablo world. "That's a good question."

Vicky looked up from the loot she was sorting and focused on the demon girl. "Can you jump into the Item World of a temporary item?"

"Technically," the item girl admitted. "It's also a good way to get lost between dimensions when the item you're in vanishes because you lost track of time."

Myst used telekinesis to float one of the firebolt tomes over to the desk near the triplicator. "Do you want to try to combine the daggers to get a stable copy or see if I can enchant a copy of the book?"

Tony considered the idea for a couple of seconds then moved the original dagger off the platform and flipped a different switch on the device, causing the two unstable daggers to vanish and combine into a dagger that looked like the original. "You should probably check to make sure it's stable."

Myst cast his identify spell on the new dagger. "I don't see a note about it being unstable and it has twice as much magic as the unstable daggers which makes sense."

The item girl stepped forward and examined the dagger. "It's not as impressive as the original but it's stable."

"Cool," Myst said as he used his telekinesis to swap the dagger and the firebolt tome. "Flip the switch and let's break the world."

Tony flipped the switch and stared at the weathered and heavily damaged tome that looked like it might fall apart if someone touched it. "Do you think you can summon someone with a tricorder?" he asked thoughtfully. "We're going to need a way to scan the technology that doesn't involve taking it apart."

"Probably, give me a minute," Myst replied as he focused on the Star Trek universe, looking for a point in time where he could borrow interesting tech. He summoned a version of Admiral Pressman as he was picking up a phase cloak. "Welcome to Earth Admiral, we don't have a lot of time, if you'll place the cloaking device on the platform, we'll have it duplicated and you can continue your mission. You're going to need the cloak to escape."

Taylor stared at the arrogant looking man wearing a strange black and red uniform, wondering about the ethics of stealing or at least copying things from other dimensions.

"Who are you?!" Pressman demanded.

Myst gestured towards Tony. "We're with the department of temporal science, we need a copy of the cloak for a mission."

"Shouldn't you have cloaking devices?" the admiral asked suspiciously, finding the entire situation beyond suspicious and with his bullshit meter tacked firmly in the red.

"They're also monitored, sometimes you have to do things off the books," Myst lied as he gestured towards the triplicator.

"I'm going to need authorization codes," Pressman argued, pretending he believed them.

Myst carefully grabbed the cloak then pulled the Admiral's hands away from it and lifted him off the ground. "Screw it. You're guilty of violating the treaty of Algernon or whatever the hell the idiots called it."

"You're not with Starfleet!" Pressman snapped.

"You're right, I'm not," Myst replied as he levitated the books off the triplicator and placed the phase cloak on the platform so he could duplicate it. He pulled the admiral's tricorder out of his pocket and looked at the strange device. 'Not exactly user friendly.' He dropped Victor out of his spatial ring and focused on the admiral.

"Is that Victor?" Vicky blurted.

"What the hell is going on?" Pressman demanded.

"Yeah," Myst replied as he focused on the admiral and used Victor's power, letting him steal a basic understanding of Federation technology. 'Not like he'll need it in prison.'

"What is going on? Who are you?" he demanded, not used to people just ignoring him and wondering what form of transporter they had used as it wasn’t one he was familiar with.

Myst turned the tricorder on and scanned the triplicator and the phase cloak. He stuck Victor back in the spatial ring then flipped the switch on the triplicator, creating two unstable copies of the cloak. "Don't worry, I'll drop him off with the PRT when I have a chance."

"PRT?" Pressman demanded, trying to figure out who was holding him captive.

"They're basically the local police," Myst explained as he floated the cloaking device back over to Pressman, knowing Picard would need it to get out of the asteroid. "Have fun with the romulans." He let the man vanish with the cloak before he could argue or complain.

"Who was that?" Vicky asked.

"He was an admiral that was conducting illegal research on cloaking devices in another dimension," Myst explained as he scanned the unstable cloaking devices, hoping they could learn something by comparing the scans.

"Illegal or unethical?" Taylor asked.

"Just illegal," Myst admitted as he flipped the other switch, causing the machine to combine the unstable copies into a stable copy of the original. "As far as I know they were just illegal because of an idiotic treaty with a bunch of backstabbing aliens that violated the hell out of the treaty that made it illegal to use cloaking devices on Starfleet ships."

"Why hold to a treaty that the other side broke?" Vicky asked.

Myst turned to look at Vicky. "Most of the Federation leaders are cowards, they'd rather cling to some imaginary moral high ground than actually solve a problem."

"Keeping the moral high ground isn't a bad thing," Vicky argued.

"There's nothing wrong with keeping the moral high ground, but it takes hard work, you have to evaluate things as they change, not just assume you are morally superior in all situations," Myst explained as he floated the better copy of the firebolt book over to the enchanting altar and examined it.

"The problem comes when you start making excuses for not acting, like when you basically don't bother with a proper military because you have your head up your own ass, so it’s just become another form of cowardice. After all you can’t be considered morally deficient for your actions if you never act," Tony stated, knowing a lot of issues in the show could have been solved if Starfleet had a proper military.

"Basically," Myst agreed as he handed Tony the tricorder. "I don't think they ever actually recovered from dealing with the augments in a massive war that nearly destroyed Earth. They blamed the technology rather than the mad scientist that thought it was a good idea to make their super soldiers sociopathic monsters," he explained as he enchanted the firebolt book with the spell book enchantment.

"I've met a couple of mad scientists, they leave an impression," Cloud stated, thinking about most of the Shinra scientists.

"That's one of the reasons you're supposed to have people to make sure you're not going off the rails," Tony pointed out as he looked at the scans on the tricorder.

Myst examined the newly enchanted book, wanting to make sure it was safe. "Huh, the mana cost dropped and the control increased, I think we just found a way to cheat."

Amy glanced between Tony and Noelle. "Do we have enough dust for everyone to get a book and elixirs to make it worth it?"

Myst glanced at the arc reactor that was connected to the triplicator. "We have enough dust and elixirs to get started as long as we're using the magic boosting staves considering Cloud and the girls already have mana. I'm more worried about the arc reactor holding up."

Tony glanced at his arc reactor which seemed to be maintaining its integrity. "I can always make another one. Can you summon androids or just people? Because I’ve been meaning to make a body for one of my less organic friends."

“Less organic?” Vicky asked.

Tony shrugged. “My mom told me to make friends, she never said I had to go outside.”

"Good question," Myst mused as he looked through the various timelines for a version of an android that would be interesting. He briefly considered grabbing Vision or one of the androids from DC before deciding that he had a better idea. He focused and summoned Data as he was reaching out to put the transporter beacon on Picard a couple of seconds before he would have blown up the alien ship while he was still onboard. "Welcome to Earth Bet."

Data looked around then focused on Myst wondering what species he was since he wasn't human or property organic even if he looked like it visually. "You need to send me back."

"Relax, you'll be back less than a second after you left," Myst told him as he gestured towards Taylor and her puppet dressed in a suit. [See if you can copy him or give him a durability boost], he told Taylor, not seeing a point in letting the android toss his life away when it could be avoided. "If you'll hand my assistant the transporter beacon, she'll duplicate it so you can get back to the Enterprise without dying," he suggested, hoping he could keep Data from killing himself in the process of saving Earth.

[Sure], Taylor replied as she reached out and touched Data's shoulder, picking up unlocks for androids and Soong-Type androids. "No point in dying pointlessly."

"I need to destroy the ship," Data stated.

"Rig the phaser to explode," Tony suggested.

"Rigging a phaser to explode might not be enough and we will not get another chance. If we can not destroy the ship, it will kill everyone on Earth," Data explained, knowing the ship would cause an unacceptable amount of destruction if it wasn't destroyed.

Taylor used her minion's power to give Data a boost to his durability that might let him survive whatever he was planning. "You have time, I'm sure we could rig something up."

Myst briefly considered asking him how much rigging the phaser to explode actually dropped the chances of destroying the alien ship before deciding that he didn't want to get into an argument he wasn't going to win. "Not Othala, can you give him a boost to his durability?"

"Sure," Othala's clone replied as she stepped forward and touched the yellow skinned man with yellow eyes, giving him invulnerability. "That should last two minutes."

"Thank you," Data replied, knowing he wouldn't survive the ship exploding.

"Best of luck," Myst told him and let the android vanish, hoping he'd changed something, but not sure he had, since he didn’t know what changes they could make to the people summoned beyond imparting knowledge. "That's depressing as hell."

"Yeah," Tony agreed. "Hated that movie."

"Wasn't my favorite," Myst agreed.

"What did he need to destroy?" Aerith asked.

"An extremely powerful starship that was going to destroy a planet which is why I didn't argue with him, I know his solution worked, it just cost him his life," Myst complained as he turned his attention back to the triplicator. "Let's get a couple of books copied then hit the Item World, I feel like stabbing things."

"Yes!" Yuffie said cheerfully.

0o0o0

Taylor pulled her attention away from the monsters that Cloud and the girls were demolishing and focused on Myst. "Penny for your thoughts?"

Myst pulled his attention away from where Vicky was trying to strangle a Final Fantasy behemoth while making sure it wasn't facing the group and looked at Taylor and Amy. "I'm trying to figure out the best way to increase everyone's power that isn't completely evil."

"Let me guess, you know a couple of morally questionable ways to get power?" Amy asked, not taking her attention off her sister as she tried to wrangle the monster.

"Probably," Myst admitted. "I'm not willing to make deals with demons but I know where to find a genie, we'd just have to steal her before an idiot opens her bottle."

"Jeannie or Aladdin?" Amy asked thoughtfully, thinking about the old reruns and the animated movie she'd watched a couple of years ago.

"Tony, I wouldn't call Aladdin an idiot exactly, he was just a street rat with a decent heart that didn't know better. Tony on the other hand was an idiot, he had a horrible boss and he wanted to be normal despite having a genie," Myst argued.

Amy shook her head. "She'd probably vanish once the time was up. Besides, do you really want to deal with her family on the off chance that they can follow her?"

"On second thought, we know Aladdin's genie can turn people into genies," Myst mused.

"Are you volunteering?" Amy asked thoughtfully.

Myst considered the question for a couple of seconds. "I wouldn't mind being a genie for a bit, provided I can keep my ability to summon people and copy powers."

"Or you could turn me into a genie," Othala's clone offered. "You're already my master and it's not like I have anything to go back to."

"Worth a shot depending on the benefits package," Myst mused as he focused on Aladdin with his summoning ability, skimming over the various versions until he found a version who wasn’t going to make it out of the cave. He reached out and summoned the street rat as he started falling to his death with the lamp. "Welcome to the crossroads, can I borrow your lamp?"

Aladdin stumbled and looked around when he realized he wasn't falling to his death. He stared at the nearly naked girls for a couple of seconds then froze when he looked away and saw Myst looking down at him with amusement. "What are you? Where am I? What's going on?"

"How is he speaking English?" Othala's clone asked.

"I'm speaking Arabic," Aladdin replied, not sure what they were talking about.

"Pretty sure our English is his Arabic, at least the spoken form," Myst mused.

"My questions?" Aladdin asked, hoping for some actual answers.

"Complicated, I was hoping I could borrow your lamp for a bit."

Aladdin glanced down at the brass lamp that he was holding. "I need it."

Myst sighed. "Let me guess, someone offered you a lot of gold if you could retrieve the lamp?"

"How did you know?" Aladdin asked warily.

"Lucky guess," Myst replied dryly. "You don't need to have a fantastic amount of gold to impress the girl, you just have to be yourself."

"Easy for you to say, you're a giant," Aladdin snapped, knowing he didn't understand. "You probably don't have to worry about people killing you if you don't come back with the lamp."

Myst briefly considered walking Aladdin through the type of wishes he should make before he realized he didn't trust the kid's luck. "Tell you what, if you give me the lamp, I'll give you a decent amount of gold and a couple of magic items so you'll be able to avoid the bastards that are planning on leaving your dead body in the desert."

"I was falling to my death before you grabbed me, I owe you," Aladdin admitted and tossed Myst the lamp.

Myst caught the lamp and rubbed the lamp, wanting to make sure the monkey hadn't swapped the lamp when he wasn't looking despite the fact that it looked right.

Aladdin stared as blue mist poured out of the lamp, suddenly feeling like an idiot. "Oh… that explains why everyone wanted it."

"Yeah," Myst replied as he watched the mist turn into a blue skinned genie that looked a lot like a certain actor. 'I'll make it up to you,' he promised.

"I am bound by an ancient pact to grant three wishes," Genie announced as he glanced around the strange pocket dimension. "Not exactly what I was expecting but it beats being trapped in the Cave of Wonders."

"Are you a genie?" Aladdin blurted, wishing he'd just rubbed the lamp.

"Ding ding, we have a winner," Genie replied with amusement as he focused on the giant holding his lamp. "No wishing for more wishes, I can't make people fall in love with you and you really shouldn't wish the dead back to life, it never ends well."

"That's fine, my first wish is to turn her into a genie," Myst said as he pointed at Othala's clone.

"Do you want to be a genie?" Genie asked the girl, not happy about imprisoning someone.

"Of course," Othala's clone agreed immediately. "Immortality and power, what's not to love?"

"Itty bitty living space," Genie warned her.

"I can always make my bottle larger and my home isn't the safest place in the world," Othala's clone explained, not particularly worried about being stuck in a bottle as Myst was already her master. "If I get bored, I'll talk someone into wishing me free."

"That rarely works," Genie warned her.

"I'll take the risk," she assured the genie.

Genie snapped his fingers and changed her into a genie, causing her to swell in size and turn blue. "Nearly phenomenal cosmic power," he sighed as golden bands appeared on the girl's wrists, "itty bitty living space," he complained as he gestured and conjured a red crystal bottle with a palace sized apartment inside of it.

"Doesn't that count as wishing for more wishes?" Aladdin asked, surprised that turning someone into a genie wasn't against the rules.

"Not technically, it's a loophole," Genie admitted as he tied the new genie to her bottle.

"How are you feeling?" Myst asked the clone.

"Fantastic!" the clone replied as she snapped her fingers and conjured a sandwich. "I'll never have to worry about getting attacked or shot again."

"It certainly has perks," Genie admitted, glad that she was looking on the bright side.

Othala's clone handed the sandwich to Aladdin. "This could take a while, you might as well eat something."

"Thanks," Aladdin replied as he started eating the delicious looking sandwich.

"No point in wishing for gold if you can wish for magic or the ability to conjure gold," Myst said as he focused on the bottle Genie was holding. "Is there a problem with wishing that she'd have the ability to teleport her bottle to me?"

Genie shook his head. "That's not going to save her if someone gets her bottle, genies aren't allowed to manipulate their bottles if someone is holding them."

"What about giving her the ability to mentally alert me that she needs her bottle teleported and giving me the ability to summon it to my hand?" Myst asked.

"That I can do," Genie agreed, glad that someone could think outside the box.

"I wish for those abilities," Myst stated, wanting to make sure she couldn't be used against him or at least reasonably sure of it.

"Done," Genie replied as he snapped his fingers. "And your third wish?"

"That depends, can you make me a genie without costing me the rest of my powers?" Myst asked, hoping he could pick up nearly phenomenal cosmic power.

Genie frowned as he considered the question. "I could give you magic or knowledge but turning you into a genie would change your abilities."

"I had to ask," Myst replied with a smile. "Before I make my last wish, I have a request."

"What is your request?" Genie asked.

"If I wish you free, can I talk you into watching a movie with Aladdin and giving him a hand for a couple of weeks?" Myst asked.

"You're serious?" Genie asked in shock, surprised that someone was willing to actually free him.

"He's going to need the help," Myst explained, thinking about the crap that Jafar was planning for the princess.

Aladdin stopped eating and stared at Myst. "You could ask for anything and you're asking him to help me? Why?"

"Because he could use a friend and I think you'd make a good one," Myst told him.

"I'd be happy to give him a hand," Genie promised, not seeing a problem with helping if it meant he'd get his freedom, especially if he was willing to wish him free first.

"Can we wish for mental defenses before we wish him free?" Amy asked.

"Evil sorcerers?" Genie asked thoughtfully.

Amy shook her head. "Basically people with special abilities."

"Hand her the bottle," Genie suggested.

"Go for something like the ability to hand out mental defense tattoos," Myst suggested as he handed Amy the bottle.

"Is that too much?" Amy asked.

"No," Genie assured her, knowing all too well how it felt to be controlled against your will.

"I wish for the knowledge and ability to create magical tattoos so I can give people extremely strong mental defenses that will prevent master effects and mind control," Amy stated.

"Done," Genie replied as he snapped his fingers, giving her the ability to create magical tattoos that enhanced the mind by touching people, and giving her some extra tattoo options since she was trying to be a decent person. "Anything else?"

Amy smiled as she thought about the tattoos she'd be able to hand out that would keep her family safe. "Anything else?" she asked Myst.

"I wouldn't say no to magic books," Myst admitted. "But we should be able to get everything we need from Othala's clone."

Amy couldn't help the list of wishes that jumped to mind, everything from improving the Bay to wishing that Carol actually cared about her. 'Can't wish for love,' she reminded herself. She took a breath then smiled at the genie, forcing herself to ignore the desire to be greedy. "I wish you free," she stated before she could change her mind, knowing that she'd want to be free if she was ever turned into a genie.

Genie stared in disbelief as the bands around his wrists cracked and fell off, setting him free. "Thank you!"

"You're welcome," Amy assured him.

Myst summoned the clone's bottle. "Can you conjure a movie screen and a copy of Aladdin?"

The clone thought about his request and smiled when she realized she knew how to conjure a movie screen and the right Aladdin movie. "I can even skip the opening credits," she said cheerfully as she gestured and conjured a massive movie screen near the edge of the platform so they could watch it.

"Movie screen?" Aladdin asked, not sure what was going on.

"It's basically a play," Myst explained as Vicky flew over to check on the movie screen.

Genie conjured popcorn and seats for everyone, happy that he could use his magic how he wanted. "Don't worry, you'll love it."

"Can you round everyone up for a movie?" Myst asked Vicky, figuring they could use a break from grinding since they'd been killing monsters for a couple of hours and the last monster was on another platform which meant they were safe.

"Yep!" Vicky replied as she flew off to collect the rest of the group before they killed the rest of the monsters.