Xander and the Bottle Part 2 (Patreon)

Anya glanced up as the bell over the door rang and blinked in surprise, not expecting Xander’s mother to walk into her store. “Jessica? Is something wrong with Xander?”

“No, he’s fine, I just need some potion supplies,” Jessica said as she glanced around the shelves, trying to get a feel for how everything was organized.

“Did Xander send you?” Anya asked, surprised to see Xander’s mother in her shop considering she’d been rather careful to avoid mentioning the supernatural.

“No, I need to make a potion of celerity and some of the ingredients I have on hand are older than I’d like,” Jessica explained as she looked through the shelves for ingredients she could use to replace the herbs in her trunk that were practically dust.

“That’s a difficult potion,” Anya warned, not wanting Xander upset at her if his mother died because she screwed up making a potion and poisoned herself, which was a distinct possibility considering Xander’s lack of faith in her ability to cook much of anything.

“I’m aware,” Jessica replied as she grabbed a basket and started collecting the supplies she needed.

“Why do you need a potion of celerity?” Anya asked, wondering why Xander hadn’t told her that his mother could use magic.

Jessica smiled at Anya. “I need to kill a particularly annoying demon.”

“Does Xander know that you’re killing demons?” Anya asked warily.

“Of course,” Jessica replied absently as she grabbed the last ingredient she needed for her potion, missing the nervous look Anya sent her way. “It’s practically the family business.”

“I see…” Anya trailed off as she realized that Xander probably hadn’t wanted her to know that his family hunted demons and that’s why she wasn’t to talk about the supernatural around them.

Jessica frowned as she sensed a pair of demonic vampires walk in the front door. She turned to look at the two men wearing biker gear that looked in their early twenties and probably weren’t much older judging by their lack of power. “Are you buying or causing trouble?” 

The vampire on the left smirked at the middle aged woman that might have been attractive a few years ago but was looking a touch worn around the edges. “Trouble. What are you going to do about it, bitch?”

“Nothing,” Jessica replied cheerfully as she walked toward the vampires. “It’s nice to see a man that knows how to talk to a lady.”

“See, this is going to be-” the vampire cut off as Jessica drew a dagger and stabbed him in the chest almost before he’d even realized she’d moved. “What the fuck!”

Jessica grinned as she kicked the suddenly human strength vampire in the chest sending him crashing back into the door in a broken heap. She slashed the next vampire with the athame she was planning on giving her son then tossed a bolt of fire at each of the crippled vampires, reducing them to dust.

“You have magic?!” Anya blurted out.

“Was that a secret?” Jessica asked ‘innocently’, knowing that Xander wouldn’t have had time to fill her in.

“He forgot to mention it,” Anya said dryly, a touch annoyed at Xander for not warning her that his mother could use magic and was a demon hunter.

“To be fair, his father and I were under a curse,” Jessica offered, knowing that there was a line between having fun messing with your child’s significant other and causing your child legitimate relationship issues. “So it wasn’t really his fault for not mentioning it.”

“Oh,” Anya said, not sure what else to say. “Thank you for the help with the vampires, I normally just use holy water in a spray bottle. It also works on stray cats.”

“I’ve found there is much less screaming with fire,” Jessica said as she walked over to the counter and set the basket down so that Anya could ring her up.

Anya made a mental note to bottle the vampire ash then worked on ringing up Jessica’s ingredients.

0o0o0

Willow shook her head as the last of Tony’s orbs of light vanished. In a weird way, she was sort of glad that Dawn was a genie and Glory was still running around, otherwise she would still have been waiting for the other shoe to drop. She’d gotten Tara back, safe and sound as far as they could tell and her best friend was part guardian angel and could apparently hand out magic like candy. “How are you doing?” she asked as she turned to look at Xander, rather amused by the fact that Dawn had claimed his lap, much to Buffy’s annoyance.

“I have a genie on my lap and I have awesome magical powers, so pretty good all things considered,” Xander replied, rather amused with the entire situation even if he was a touch concerned about Anya’s reaction to Dawn’s flirting.

“Have you decided on a first wish?” Dawn asked in a teasing voice.

Xander glanced at Buffy. “More or less, I’m just trying to figure out how to word it.”

“Oh? What are you thinking?” Dawn asked, happy to help.

“I’m trying to figure out a way to make sure Buffy can get paid for slaying monsters,” Xander said.

“That would be nice,” Buffy muttered, knowing that she’d need some type of job to cover all of the expenses that her mother had been taking care of.

“That’s easy,” Dawn said with a grin. “You make a wish and I take a trip to the hospital and have a talk with Giles.”

Buffy shook her head. “It’s not that easy.”

“Of course it is, I’m a genie,” Dawn said dryly. “I can snap my fingers and find all of the buried treasure scattered around the city or hack the hospital’s computers and make sure our accounts are paid in full.”

“You can’t do that,” Buffy argued.

“I’m a genie, of course I can,” Dawn replied, annoyed that her sister hadn’t already talked to Giles about getting paid by the Watcher’s Council. If they could afford to maintain a private jet and various wetworks teams, they could afford to pay her sister for risking her life to keep the world safe.

“Fine, but you shouldn’t steal from people, it’s wrong,” Buffy complained.

“They didn’t save Mom,” Dawn snapped angrily. 

Buffy winced, not sure what to say, mostly because she agreed with Dawn but at the same time, she understood that hospitals had expenses and that they couldn’t fix everything no matter how much she might wish. She was pretty sure even a genie’s wish couldn’t fix that issue.

Dawn relaxed slightly when Xander wrapped an arm around her stomach. “So yes, I most certainly can snap my fingers and wipe out the rest of our debt without feeling guilty.”

“If they run out of money, they can’t help people,” Tara said softly, sympathizing with how Dawn felt, but also knowing that the hospital had to make money to afford to help people. 

“They couldn’t save her,” Dawn complained. “Why should they get paid more than the insurance company has already paid them?”

“How are you planning on liquidating the treasure you find?” Xander asked, trying to change the subject.

“Giles,” Dawn said as if that explained everything and after a moment’s thought on everyone’s part, it did.

“That’s not a bad idea,” Buffy agreed thoughtfully, knowing he had plenty of connections that dealt with art objects and relics.

“I wish you to help me find a decent amount of buried treasure,” Xander said, figuring she could quit when she got bored.

“Wish granted,” Dawn said looking forward to dragging Xander around looking for buried treasure.

“On that note, can I borrow her bottle?” Willow asked hopefully. “I’d like the ability to teleport.”

“What do you think?” Xander asked Dawn.

Dawn smiled at Willow. “Sure, I can always monkey paw any wish that I don’t like.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll behave,” Willow assured her as Xander handed her Dawn’s bottle. “If I asked for the ability to orb like Xander, would you twist the wish?”

“No, teleportation is a good choice,” Dawn replied with amusement.

“How about if I asked for the same for Tara and Buffy as well?” Willow asked, curious how much she could get per wish.

“I’d probably monkey paw it,” Dawn teased. “You’re asking for multiple powers with one wish.”

“Harsh but fair,” Xander lied, knowing that particular wish was as easy as copying his orbing ability three times rather than just once.

“How would you monkey paw it?” Willow asked, fairly sure they needed to keep Dawn away from Anya until they figured out a way to free her that didn’t result in one of them being tied to the bottle.

Dawn smiled at Willow as she considered the question. “I’d probably give you a version of orbing that doesn’t teleport your bra considering Xander doesn’t wear one.”

Willow shook her head. “I’d rather not leave bits of clothing lying around that someone could use to track us.”

“You could always stop wearing a bra,” Tara said ‘innocently’. 

Willow rolled her eyes. “Fine. I wish that you’d give Tara, Buffy, and myself a copy of Xander’s orbing power.”

Dawn focused on Xander and used her genie magic to copy his orbing power so that she had two copies then turned the second copy into a glowing orb of blue light and tossed it to Willow. “Wish granted.”

Willow blinked as the orb sank into her chest. “Thank you.”

“Your wish is my command,” Dawn teased as she repeated the process and tossed the next orb to Tara. “Enjoy.” She repeated the process and tossed an orb to her sister. “That should keep everyone from being trapped.”

“I guess we can get used to not wearing bras if it means we can teleport. Thank you.” Buffy focused and orbed across the room, rather happy that her new power actually worked. She was a bit surprised to discover she was still wearing her bra but figured it was because she had teleported such a short distance. “We should probably wish for extra durability then we should wish Dawn free.”

“How hard would it be to give us some decent durability?” Buffy asked, knowing that making them indestructible was out of the question, because of what Xander had explained earlier. 

Dawn tilted her head as her magic filled in the details. “Xander has some pretty impressive boosts in that area, so I could simply copy his easily enough.”

“That works,” Buffy said, pleased that Xander was no longer so squishy as well as liking the idea of her other friends being less squishy as well.

“Who are you planning on turning into a genie?” Dawn asked dryly. “Willow or maybe Tara? We don’t exactly have a large group of friends and I doubt Anya would want to be tied to a bottle.”

“It’s all fun and games until someone like Glory gets ahold of the bottle,” Buffy warned them.

“Fine,” Dawn reluctantly agreed. “Feel free to wish me free if you can figure out how to make the wish without getting sucked into the bottle.”

Xander orbed his bottle back to his hand. “I wish for Dawn Marie Summers to have the ability to unbind herself and bind herself to my bottle any time she wants.”

“Wish granted!” Dawn replied as she felt her magic respond to Xander’s wish, giving her the ability to free herself if she needed to. “Thanks, you’re the best master,” she teased as she wiggled in his lap.

“You’re welcome,” Xander replied, doing his best to ignore her wiggling and grateful he could simply teleport away if needed rather than attempt to nonchalantly walk out of a room with the sharp eyed slayer there. “In the interest of saving time and not burning wishes that might be useful later, I’ll give everyone a copy of my durability then I’m going to swing by the magic shop and make sure Anya can teleport if Glory decides to try to kill her.”

“You still have powers,” Buffy realized.

“A free genie is still a genie,” Xander replied with a smile.

“We can grab dinner in London or Scotland, right?” Dawn asked hopefully.

“Why London?” Xander asked as he focused on copying his physical resilience which made him much more durable than a baseline human and tossed it to Tara. “Here.”

“Thank you,” Tara said as she absorbed the power.

“Because it’s half a world away,” Dawn said smugly.

“Which means Glory won’t be able to find you to open a portal home,” Xander said as he created another orb and tossed it to Willow. “Here.”

“Thanks,” Willow said as she caught the glowing orb. “Would your durability power stack with Buffy’s abilities from being the Slayer?”

“They should,” Xander replied as he conjured another orb and handed it to Buffy. “We’ll have to do some power trading later.”

“Rats, does that mean you’re not just going to give us a copy of everything you have?” Buffy asked, giving him her best puppy dog eyes look.

Xander shook his head. “Sorry, one active power at a time. Once you get used to orbing and learn to control it, we’ll see what else we can come up with.”

“That’s probably for the best,” Tara said, knowing that active powers could take some getting used to, much like her aura reading had.

0o0o0

Giles looked up from the newspaper he was reading as Buffy, Dawn and Xander walked into the lounge. “Please tell me that you’re springing me from durance vile?”

“That’s the plan,” Buffy replied as they walked over.

“Did they patch all of the holes?” Xander joked as he glanced at the stern looking middle aged nurse behind the counter.

“Quite,” Giles replied dryly, relieved to see they’d managed to rescue Dawn and that she was in good spirits despite recent events.

“Sorry,” Dawn offered, knowing he’d gotten hurt trying to help her.

“Don’t worry about it, I’ll be fine in a couple of weeks,” Giles assured her, knowing his injury wouldn’t matter if they couldn’t stop Glory.

“Just make sure he gets plenty of rest and no heavy lifting for at least a couple of weeks,” the nurse ordered. “Otherwise you’ll rip your stitches.”

Dawn smiled at the nurse. “Don’t worry, that’s why we have Xander.”

“You can leave the wheelchair in the lobby after you get him into your car,” the nurse warned.

“Thanks,” Buffy said as she grabbed Giles’ wheelchair and headed for the elevator.

“Do we have an actual plan for dealing with Glory?” Giles asked once they were in the elevator.

“Yeah,” Xander replied as he pushed the button for the lobby. “Dawn and I are leaving town for a couple of days.”

“Don’t let her stay up too late or eat too much ice cream,” Buffy ordered as the doors closed, trying to pretend that she wasn’t freaked out about fighting a hell god that she still didn’t know how to hurt.

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure she doesn’t bounce to the moon,” Xander assured her.

“Good.” Buffy was just hoping Willow and Tara could figure out a way to trap or banish Glory as she doubted Glory would be very happy when she couldn’t find Dawn.

“We should stop by the shop first,” Giles suggested as he turned to look at Xander. “I should be able to cast a glamour on you and Dawn that should keep any of Glory’s minions from recognizing you.”

“How come you didn’t do that before?” Buffy asked.

“I didn’t want to draw her attention to someone new, considering what happened with Tara,” Giles admitted. “How is she?” he asked, expecting her to be agitated and worse than normal as the date for the upcoming ritual approached.

“Sane,” Xander replied with a grin as he pulled his cellphone out of his pocket and called the shop, wanting to check with Anya before they teleported to the back room, just in case Glory had decided to pay her a visit.

“How?” Giles asked as the door opened to the lobby, fairly sure people didn’t just spontaneously recover from getting their sanity ripped out by a hell goddess short of the god’s death, and possibly not even then.

“I’ll explain in the car,” Xander said as he brought his cell phone up to his ear.

Anya picked up the phone. “Magic Box.”

“Any trouble at the shop?” Xander asked as they headed for the front door.

Anya glanced at the red haired teenage girl dressed in black that was carefully looking through one of the cheaper spell books that she sold to tourists, thankfully she didn’t appear to be paying attention. “Your mother stopped by for ingredients for a potion and killed two vampires.”

“Good for her, what type?” Xander asked, curious what his mother was working on.

“A potion of enhanced speed,” Anya replied absently as she turned to look at a man with a bland looking pale face with slicked back hair that was wearing a purple fedora and a cheap looking black suit that was hard to focus on and gave her the creeps for some reason she couldn’t put her finger on. “When are you coming home?”

“We just picked up Giles and we’re headed to the shop, what’s up?” Xander asked, knowing that Anya was staying late with Giles injured.

Anya twitched slightly as she saw a shadow flicker over part of the man’s suit as he turned to look at the red haired girl with a less than friendly look. “I just didn’t want you to miss the surprise party, bring the bunnies. I love you too.” 

Xander blinked as Anya hung up on him. “Shit. We have a problem, Anya told me to bring bunnies.”

“Considering how much she hates bunnies,” Buffy said as she glanced around for a place where they could teleport without anyone seeing or recording them. “We need to hurry.”

“Can I help you?” Anya asked as she looked at the creepy stranger. 

The man turned his head just far enough to look at Anya. “Where are your most expensive books?” he asked in a voice that was just a bit off as if someone was playing with a sound board.

“Cash or credit?” Anya asked, wondering how he was planning on paying.

“You will give them to me,” the man ordered.

Anya blinked, his mental command conflicting with one of her core desires. “This is not a library, cash or credit?”

“How are you resisting?” the man complained, in a voice just shy of a whine.

“How fucking stupid are you?” the red haired girl dressed in black asked sarcastically as she carefully closed the book that she’d been reading and set it back on the shelf.

“What?” the man snapped as he turned his head and glared at the goth.

“You’re obviously trying to use some type of mental power on the nice lady that runs a magic shop, thus I’m sort of curious how stupid you have to be to expect her to not have protective items, especially on the Hellmouth.” She pulled a cross out of her pocket and held it up to ward off the vampire. “I am Moira MacCloud of the clan MacCloud, you need to leave.”

“Even if I was a vampire, crosses only work in movies or if you have true faith,” the man sneered as he blurred toward the girl, using celerity to close the distance.

Anya blinked as the innocent girl vanished, instantly changing from a sweet looking girl into a ten foot tall crimson werewolf that promptly ripped into the teleporting man.

Buffy ignored Giles’ look of disbelief as she rushed out of the back room and saw a large werewolf rip apart some type of shadow demon. “Nice doggie?” she asked hopefully.

The werewolf finished ripping off the vampire’s head then turned and gave Buffy a less than amused look. “I’m not a Bone Gnawer, don’t call me a dog.”

“Puppy?” Xander blurted as he walked out of the back room after healing Giles and saw the werewolf.

The werewolf laughed then changed back to her normal form. “Maybe once I’ve gotten to know you, Alex.”

“No hitting on my boyfriend,” Anya complained.

“Amelia?” Xander asked, surprised to see his cousin on his mother’s side in person.

Amelia smiled at Anya. “Relax, he’s my cousin and I’m not from Alabama, so you’re probably safe.”

“Not to mention she bats for the other team, last I heard,” Xander added as Dawn and Giles walked out of the backroom.

“Technically both,” Amelia replied with a shrug.

“When did that happen?” Xander asked, ignoring the look Anya was giving both of them.

“A few months ago, James is really flexible and is a kinky wolf pooka,” she replied with a grin.

Xander shook his head, his imagination going places he wasn’t going to admit to. “How come you’re in town?” he asked, fairly sure she wouldn’t have visited without a good reason considering the hellmouth.

“Some of the spirits mentioned a bunch of shit going down in Sunnydale, my pack and I needed the renown, so help a girl out and spill?” Amelia asked hopefully.

Giles cleared his throat as he looked at Xander. “I’d like an explanation for how you can teleport and heal people.”

“You can teleport?” Anya blurted.

“It’s recent,” Xander assured her, knowing she still missed her demonic powers, teleporting chief amongst them. 

Giles walked over to the sign and flipped it to closed, knowing they had a lot to discuss.