Hermione and the Watch Part 16 (Patreon)

Disclaimer: If things get too creepy in the middle, skip to the card game...  

Harry looked up from his book he was pretending to read as he heard Hermione step off the stairs. He smiled as he saw Hermione walk toward him without a stitch of clothing on other than the towel wrapped around her freshly washed hair. “I don’t say it enough but you’re gorgeous.”

Hermione smiled at her best friend/lover. “Thanks. Any luck with the animation spells?”

Harry’s smile turned into a bit of a smirk as he floated the oven mitt he’d charmed out of the kitchen. “You could say that. I found a spell for animating gauntlets to slap people that we might be able to adapt.”

“That sounds rather limited-” Hermione jumped as something touched her behind. She spun around and glared at the floating oven mitt that had playfully slapped her butt. “Harry!”

He snickered as he had the oven mitt wave. “Sorry, I couldn’t resist.”

“A little warning next time,” Hermione complained, trying not to snicker and ruin her attempt at a stern expression.

“Sorry, I couldn’t help myself,” Harry admitted with a grin.

“How much control do you have over the mitt?” Hermione asked as she poked the mitt with her finger.

“Not as much as I’d probably have with a glove but it’s sort of like having an extra hand in the mitt,” Harry explained as he floated the mitt back toward the kitchen. “Hopefully we can tweak it to help animate Selena’s hands.”

“Hopefully,” Hermione agreed as a timer went off in the kitchen.

“Time to turn the roast,” Harry said as he stood up and handed Hermione his book. “Just flip to the bookmark.”

Hermione smiled as she sat on the couch and carefully opened the old charms book while Harry went to check on the roast.

Harry walked over and reset the timer then pulled his wand out from behind his ear.  He opened the oven hatch enough that he could see the roast then focused on the expanded pan as he flicked his wand its general direction as he said, “Wingardium Leviosa.” He smiled as the expanded pan and roast floated an inch off the rack with barely a wobble. He made a slow twisting motion with his wand as he focused on the pan slowly rotating. He set the pan down then canceled the spell after he’d rotated it 45 degrees. He closed the hatch, idly wondering how much it would cost to get a decent oven with a glass face. “Find anything yet?” he asked as he stuck his wand behind his ear as he walked back into the living room.

Hermione glanced up from rereading the spell. “It looks promising but I’ll have to check a couple things to make sure.”

“How long will that take?” Harry asked, curious if he had time to harvest Fawkes’ heart before she had everything ready to go.

“As long as it takes,” Hermione replied, not sure how long it would take her to put everything together. 

“Best guess?” he asked.

“At least a couple hours but her hands are frozen in time so they’re not degrading and we need to finish the roasts and clean up before we unfreeze things anyways so we’re not exactly in a hurry.”

“I guess you have a point,” Harry admitted.

“How long until you need to check the spit roast?”

“Twenty to thirty minutes.”

“Considering how much we’re cooking, it’s a good thing we have stasis charms,” Hermione said absently as she thought about how much meat they were were cooking.

“Between Selena, Beth, Ginny, Ron, Neville, the Twins and Luna, I have a feeling the meat will be gone before we know it.”

Hermione shook her head. “That might work for the girls and Ron depending on how hungry he is but I’m fairly sure everyone else would freak if we set a roasted person on the table even if we told them it was a transfigured pig.”

“That’s why we carve them first and put the cuts on platters.”

Hermione sniffed the air, enjoying the delicious scents coming from the kitchen even though she knew she shouldn’t. “There is still the matter of taste,” she pointed out half heartedly.

“The hag book describes the taste as somewhere between veal and pork so I’m not all that worried about it. We’ll just tell them that it’s a muggle dish if they ask.”

“The sad part is, I doubt they’d even question it,” Hermione complained as she thought about the wizarding world.

Harry shrugged. “To be fair, I doubt I’d question stuff in a French restaurant other than to make sure they’re not trying to feed me slugs or fish eggs.”

“Snails but point taken,” Hermione replied with a grin as she went back to reading.

“Since it’s going to take at least a couple hours for you to run the numbers on the spell research, I’m going to toss some more wood on the fire then see what I can find in the forest to upgrade Ron and Neville.”

“Sounds reasonable,” Hermione agreed, knowing everything in the forest should be frozen. “We could use a unicorn heart for Luna and Mr. Lupin if you see any unicorns around.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Harry replied as he walked into the kitchen. He glanced at the oven then reset the timer for the spit roast for an hour. “Can you rotate the roast when the black timer goes off in case I’m not back?”

“No problem,” Hermione agreed, not seeing a problem with levitating the roast and spinning it a quarter turn.

“Thanks,” Harry called as he grabbed the extra broom by the door. He wasn’t a huge fan of the older model Nimbus they’d liberated from Ralph but Ron would notice if his Firebolt went ‘missing’ so he had to make do with what he had. He walked out of the door and looked at Beth’s trussed up approaching golden brown body roasting over the fire pit.

Beth snickered. “I look delicious don’t I?”

Harry turned to look at Selena and Beth’s severed heads sitting on the bench. He’d been a bit surprised and a little disturbed by Beth’s request to watch herself roast once they’d explained the situation to her. “You certainly do,” he replied, not sure what else to say to the at least slightly deranged severed head.

“I should be pretty tasty as well considering the herbs and pineapple slices,” Selena said with a grin.

“Hopefully,” Harry agreed, a bit disturbed that the girls weren’t more broken up about their bodies being cooked.

“Where are you going?” Selena asked.

“The forest, I want to see if I can find anything interesting to boost my friends with so they can get a boost when they help us eat you. That still sounds weird,” Harry admitted.

“Sounds good to me,” Beth said, not wanting her body to go to waste.

Selena scowled as she thought about the giant spiders in the forest Harry had mentioned. “I’d rather not get tossed away like trash or eaten by spiders, at least this way Selena and Beth will get something out of it.”

“That’s the plan,” Harry agreed as he leaned his broom against the bench. “Hermione is working on the charms needed to animate your hands so our crazy plan might just work.”

“Excellent, I’m looking forward to being able to grope the other me,” Beth said gleefully.

“Not to mention finger fucking Hermione,” Selena teased.

“Always fun,” Harry agreed as he worked on adding wood to the fire.

0o0o0

Harry frowned slightly as he poked his head into the living room and saw Hermione dressed and glaring at several books she had scattered around the table. “Problems?”

Hermione twitched slightly as she was startled out of her contemplation. She turned to look at Harry who was standing in the doorway to the kitchen looking like he was trying not to be amused at her expense and failing. “I don’t have a way to link the glove spell with their hands at least not with what we have. I might be able to use the charm that allows a painting to activate a door but I don’t know where to find it and the library has thousands of books.”

Harry managed to keep a straight face for a couple of seconds then broke into a snicker.

“What?” she asked with an unconscious pout on her lips.

“I think this is the first time I’ve ever heard you complain about the number of books in the library.”

Hermione sighed as she realized he had a good point. “Now that you’re back, I can take a look.”

Harry shook his head. “That can wait, we stuck a stasis spell on their hands so they’re not going to rot and the roasts are almost…” he trailed off as the oven timer went off, “done.”

“It smells good,” Hermione admitted as she inched her chair back and stood up.

“Sinfully delicious,” Harry agreed as he took a step back and spun around to face the oven. He turned the timer off then drew his wand from behind his ear and flicked it at the oven door which caused the door to open. “Wingardium Leviosa!”

Hermione shook her head slightly as she walked over to stand in the doorway to watch Harry float the roast out of the oven. She couldn’t help licking her lips as Harry floated the disturbingly delicious smelling golden brown roasted girl to the table. She wasn’t entirely sure the various pineapple slices, chopped carrots, garlic and onions that Harry had carefully arranged on and around the headless girl were really needed. “How long does it have to rest?”

“We should have just long enough to upgrade Luna and the girls if we hurry,” Harry replied as he inhaled the delightful aroma coming off the roast.

“What are you going to tell Luna and Ginny about the feast?” Hermione asked.

Harry shrugged. “The truth or at least a version of it.”

“Which is?” Hermione asked, curious how Harry was planning on spinning the feast.

“Simple, we picked up a roast and we’re celebrating getting Selena and Beth’s collars off. It’s short, it’s sweet and best of all, it’s the truth.”

“Don’t cut the roast without us,” Selena called from outside.

“Don’t worry, we’re not,” Hermione said as she walked outside to pick up the two animated heads.

Harry let his gaze drop to the roasted girl’s crotch, wondering which hag was correct about the best tasting part of veela, the one that said their loins were the best or the one that said their breasts were. ‘Either way, we should get a boost to our fire magic if nothing else and her body would have just went to waste…’ he caught another whiff of the roast, ‘yeah, that would have been a shame.’

Selena grinned as she caught sight of her roasted body. “Damn I look tasty.”

“Please tell me that we’ll get a taste,” Beth begged.

“Of course, it’s only fair,” Hermione agreed as she set their heads on the table. 

He grabbed a knife from the counter and studied the roasted girl. “Any preference?”

“Loins,” Beth said at the same time Selena said, “Breast.”

“Works,” Harry agreed as he carefully sliced into the base of the roast’s left breast, wondering how fatty it would be.

Hermione wasn’t sure how she was supposed to feel as she watched Harry feed a chunk of Selena’s breast to the animated head and the rather ecstatic and sinful expression on Selena’s face as she devoured it. She was trying to ignore the rush of blood she felt as she watched something so twisted and yet intimate. She blinked out of her daze as Harry handed her a piece of breast meat, thankfully the fat had melted enough that it was mostly meat. ‘No turning back if you do this. I need to be strong enough to help Harry…’ her mental thoughts ground to a halt as she bit into the sample and the juices touched her tongue. She wasn’t sure if it was because of the ritual or if the meat was just that good but it was easily one of the best things she’d ever tasted. ‘No wonder none of the hags will give up eating people.’

Harry carefully cut into Selena’s loins and fed a small chunk to Beth. “What do you think?”

Beth closed her eyes in bliss as she savoured the taste.

“I’m going to assume that means it’s good,” Harry said as he cut himself a small piece of her loins then tasted it, knowing on some level that the Dursleys were right, he was a freak but he was a freak with magic which made everything okay. That and it tasted fantastic, better than the end of the year feast, better than anything he’d had at the Weasleys and certainly better than anything he’d ever gotten at the Dursleys.

Hermione licked her lips to catch the juice that had almost escaped. “I’ll grab Luna and Ginny so I can upgrade Luna and the girls. Where did you put the hearts?”

“In the cooler,” Harry replied.

“I’ll upgrade the girls while you finish up in here,” Hermione said as she walked over to the counter and grabbed the cooler.

“Sounds good,” Harry agreed.

0o0o0

Ginny raised her eyebrows as Selena finished explaining the muggle card game. “Let me get this straight, we get five cards then we try to make combinations and we bid clothes?”

“Yep,” Beth agreed with a smirk, knowing the real purpose of the game was to get everyone naked.

Ginny glanced at Hermione as she came back from putting the rest of the delicious feast in the icebox. “Is strip poker an official muggle game.”

Hermione nodded. “It’s a well known muggle game, though it’s not usually played by kids.”

“I’m in,” Luna replied then let out of rather loud belch. “Excuse me.”

“No worries,” Harry assured her.

Ginny glanced at Harry. “You’ve played?”

“Sure, I’ve played a couple times,” Harry said thinking about the various times he’d played cards at school or at least seen poker played. It wasn’t his fault if Ginny and Luna didn’t know there were various types of poker.

“Fine, I’m in,” Ginny agreed as Hermione sat down next to her. She was willing to play just about anything that wasn’t chess. Besides, it wasn’t like Harry hadn’t seen her naked and the girls were girls and rather hot.

“Awesome,” Selena grinned as she started dealing five cards to each of the people sitting in front of the fireplace.

Harry raised his eyebrows a touch when he looked at his fist full of hearts, ‘Ace, King, Queen, Jack, Ten… in order, she’s cheating.’

Beth slipped her sock off and tossed it into the middle. “I’ll bet a sock.”

“Sounds reasonable,” Hermione agreed as she took her sock off then tossed it onto Beth’s sock.

“I can bet both socks, right?” Luna asked innocently.

“Yep,” Selena said, “It’s called raising the bid.”

Ginny looked at the chart that Selena had drawn up. ‘Three of a kind is decent.’ She turned to look at Selena. “Okay, socks and I’ll raise my robe. Do I need to take them off now or when I lose?”

Hermione looked at her hand, it was reasonable and might turn into a full house or four of a kind depending on what she tossed. “I’ll match that.”

Beth shrugged. “I guess we can strip when we lose.”

“Works for me,” Harry agreed with a grin, knowing he had close to the best possible hand you could get which meant that if someone was going to win, they were probably cheating. “Just to keep things interesting, I know most of you have jumpers, so I’ll raise you one more item.” 

Beth snickered. “Match.”

“Match,” Selena agreed after checking her hand again.

“So… we have to match that to stay in, right?” Ginny asked.

“Yep.”

“Match,” Luna said happily.

Ginny glanced around the circle then shrugged. “Match.”

Selena grinned. “Now I go around the circle and ask everyone how many cards they want to swap out.”

“None,” Beth said promptly, trusting her cards to take the hand.

Hermione frowned then tossed her two of hearts into the middle of the group. “One.”

“Living dangerously.” Selena handed Hermione a card then looked at Ginny. “Ginny?”

“Two,” Ginny replied as she tossed a two and a three into the pile.

Harry shrugged, trying to downplay his hand a touch. “I’m good.”

“I’m good,” Luna agreed, knowing her royal flush was the best hand possible.

Selena dealt Ginny two cards then took a card. “Okay, I’ll risk my pants, they’re a bit tight after dinner, anyways,” she joked.

“That’s because you ate a ton,” Beth teased.

“It was delicious,” Selena replied as she undid the top button of her pants.

Hermione grinned as she looked at her four nines. “Match and I’ll raise, my shirt.”

“Is it supposed to be going this fast?” Ginny asked as she looked at her full house, knowing she might win judging by the point list.

“Just depends on the hand,” Selena replied with a grin.

Luna piped up, “I bid Ginny’s knickers.”

Beth shook her head. “Sorry, you can only bid your own.”

“Okay, I raise my knickers,” Luna teased, well aware of the rules and how to play.

Ginny frowned as she realized she was running out of clothes to cover the bet. “That would leave me in my shirt…”

“In that case, I’ll raise my shirt,” Beth said cheerfully.

“In that case, all in,” Harry said, knowing the girls were wearing more than he was as he hadn’t been wearing a robe or a jumper.

“All in,” Hermione agreed.

“Call,” Luna agreed as she tossed her floppy hat into the middle on Beth’s socks.

“That works,” Ginny agreed, not seeing a point in folding when she’d already bet most of her clothes anyways.

Selena snickered as she laid her cards down. “Read em and weep. Two pairs, aces high.”

“Full house,” Ginny stated happily as she put her cards face up in the middle. 

Hermione dropped her four nines on the middle. “Four of a kind.”

“Damn…” Beth muttered as she dropped her cards face down in the middle, knowing that Hermione’s nines beat her full house.

Harry smirked as he flipped his cards over. “Royal flush.”

Selena smiled at Harry. “I think you win, unless Luna has five aces.”

“Nope, Royal flush spades high which beats your hearts high,” Luna said matter of factly as she laid her cards down face up.

Hermione looked down her nose at Luna. “You’ve played before, haven’t you?”

“Maybe a couple times,” Luna replied smugly. “As the red queen would say, off with your clothes.”

Hermione opened her mouth to disagree about the ‘quote’ then shrugged and started taking her robe off.

“Crap,” Ginny muttered, a touch surprised that she’d lost with a full house.

“Ah well, fair is fair,” Harry admitted as he started taking off his socks, not overly concerned about ‘losing’ the game.

“Sexy times.” Beth giggled as she took off her other sock then started working on taking her pants off while the rest of the group worked on stripping.

Luna pulled her attention off the other girls when Harry pulled his shirt off revealing muscles that she hadn’t known he had. “Nice.”

“Shake it like you mean it,” Beth teased Harry.

“Nope, not happening,” Harry replied as he slipped his pants off, knowing he’d just embarrass himself if he tried to dance like a stripper.

“Probably for the best,” Selena teased as she leaned back, reached under her t-shirt and slipped her boxers off. “I think that was the fastest game I’ve ever seen.”

Ginny grinned as she watched Harry slip out of his boxers. “No complaints.”

“Expanding magpies,” Luna said with a giggle as she checked out Harry’s equipment.

Harry grinned at Luna then frowned as he happened to glance at Luna’s cards as he was sitting down and noticed that her queen of spades looked like Hermione. “Weren’t we using a muggle deck?”

“Yeah, why?” Selena asked as she pulled her shirt off, revealing her body for the group.

“Because her queen looks like Hermione…” he trailed off as he realized the face on her jack was his own. “The jack looks pretty suspect as well.”

Hermione grabbed the rest of the deck and quickly flipped through it then scowled as she found the actual queen of spades. “Yeah, someone cheated.”

“I’m going to blame Luna,” Selena said playfully, knowing she’d stacked the deck to give everyone a decent hand.

Luna smiled innocently as the group turned to look at her. “Technically, there aren’t any rules against using magic on the cards.”

“That’s because the rules were written by muggles that don’t believe in magic,” Hermione complained.

Luna picked up the piece of paper that Beth had jotted the rules down on. “Nope, your logic is faulty. Beth wrote the rules down and she’s a witch which means the rules we’re using weren’t written by a muggle.”

Beth grabbed her wand and tapped the rule sheet. “No using magic on the cards.”

“That doesn’t count, you can’t just add rules whenever you want,” Luna replied, trying not to snicker.

“I don’t see a rule that says I can’t change the rules.” Beth stuck her tongue out at Luna.

“Okay, fine, I guess that means I need to strip to make things fair,” Luna agreed as she stood up and started stripping.

“Sounds fair,” Hermione agreed as she collected the cards, knowing they’d served their point.

Beth glanced between Ginny and Selena. “My lap appears to be without a cute redhead to molest. I’d like to fix that thus I need a volunteer.”

Ginny blushed slightly. “Ah…”

“That’s too bad,” Harry replied consolingly then turned his attention to Ginny. “What do you say Ginny, want to put on a show?” he asked hopefully.

“Ah…” Ginny trailed off as she glanced at Luna, not sure what her friend would think about her putting on a show for Harry.

“Don’t let me stop you,” Luna replied as she glanced back at Harry’s equipment. “I’m looking forward to seeing Harry test his equipment.”

“Seeing it or field testing it?” Selena asked with amusement.

“Yes,” Luna replied as she dropped her knickers, revealing a strip of blonde peach fuzz.

“Field tests can certainly be arranged,” Harry agreed.

“Safety first,” Hermione said, rather amused at the way the party was going. 

0o0o0