Hermione and the Watch Part 7 (Patreon)

Ron glared at Harry’s rather cheerful expression, the least he could do if they had to be awake this early was look upset about it. “It’s too early to be awake.”

“It’s not my fault Seamus woke you up by shouting before storming out,” Harry pointed out with a bit of amusement. They’d ended up spending most of the night reading their history books and sharing stories in an attempt to fall asleep, sadly or not they’d been far too wired and actually got a decent amount accomplished before they’d paused time and snuck back into the school so he could send Hedwig to Gringotts with a request to look into discreetly buying the Shrieking Shack.

After that it had been a simple matter of sneaking back into the common room when the sixth year prefect left to make an early morning patrol and meet up with her boyfriend, who happened to be one of the Ravenclaw Prefects. From there they’d snuck up to their rooms, crawled into bed then waited until he could hear Ron’s snoring before officially heading down to the common room.

“Considering he was shouting about you being up early and waiting to ambush him in the common room, it sort of is,” Ron complained as the three of them headed toward the great hall.

Harry shrugged. “If he doesn’t know I’m not an attention seeking prat by now, there’s no hope for him. Besides, we have larger problems, Fudge seems bound and determined not to let us practice defense, we’re going to have to find an alternate solution.”

“How do you suggest we do that?” Ron asked as they entered the Great Hall.

“I’ll probably be spending a lot more time in the library working on defense though that doesn't help with the practical side of things.”

“We could always talk to Flitwick and see if he’ll help,” Hermione suggested in a whisper as they headed over to the Gryffindor table.

“Worth a try,” Harry agreed.

“She might improve,” Ron suggested, not even sounding like he believed it himself, and not looking forward to the extra work.

“She’s just going to get worse now that she’s tasted blood,” Harry complained as they sat down to eat.

“There is only so much she can do before Dumbledore will step in,” Ron said loyally as he started piling food on his plate.

Harry snorted. “Considering Fudge basically fired him from his position as Chief Warlock and Supreme Mugwump and passed a law in order to assign Umbridge in the first place, I’m not holding my breath.”

Hermione ignored Ron’s grumbling as she added a couple sausages and some eggs to her plate, knowing she’d probably have another long day considering they had History, Potions, and Defense Against the Dark Arts.

Harry was less than amused when the doors to the Great Hall banged open and Umbridge stalked in and flounced over to the Gryffindor table. 

Umbridge glared at Hermione. “Miss Granger, you have detention for the rest of the month for walking out of your previous detention.”

“You were asleep, I put the lines on your desk,” Hermione replied, not sounding like she much cared.

Harry piped up, “Maybe you should get more sleep, you look like you need it.”

Umbridge turned to glare at Harry. “Detention!”

Dumbledore spoke up from his chair, “Point of contention, we don’t give people detention for telling the truth, you do in fact look like you could use some sleep. Perhaps you should go see the nurse before your classes start.”

Umbridge spun to look at Dumbledore. “She drugged me!”

“Do you have any proof? Have you stopped by the hospital wing to check for illicit substances?” he asked in calm grandfatherly manner, easily hiding his slight smirk behind his beard as he talked down to her like she was an unruly first year.

“I fell asleep in the middle of detention, she drugged me!” Umbridge all but screamed, nails digging into her hands in anger at the sheer amount of disrespect she was being subjected to.

Hermione piped up loudly, “If you’re accusing me of things, I’d like to point out that a Defense teacher that is too stupid to recognize a blood quill shouldn’t be a Defense teacher or was handing me a blood quill for my detention lines intentional? Since they are only legal for signing contracts, that’s a bit of a problem.”

“Blood quill?” Dumbledore asked with a dark expression on his face.

“You have no proof,” Umbridge declared, unconsciously moving back from the old man’s gaze.

Hermione reached into her bag and pulled out the collection of blood quills. “I was going to bring these to you after breakfast, but now is as good a time as any.” She grabbed the blood quill Umbridge had handed her for her detention and held it up. “This is the one she handed me for detention.”

“A simple mistake,” Umbridge lied.

“So you are that big of an idiot, good to know,” Harry piped up with amusement, no longer giving a damn if Umbridge had a reason to hate him.

“Detention! Fifty points from Gryffindor!” Umbridge shouted.

Dumbledore shook his head. “You seem unwell Umbridge, I’m afraid we must insist on you visiting the hospital wing.”

Luna giggled, the sound unusually loud in the stillness of the Great Hall, as she continued copying notes for her story in the Quibbler. 

“I’ll have your job for this!” Umbridge shouted.

“Wow, she’s lost the plot!” Ron exclaimed.

Umbridge grabbed her wand, spun to point it at Ron, sending sparks over the heads of a number of first years then promptly fell to the ground as Dumbledore’s stunner hit her in the back dropping her unconscious before she could cast a spell at Ron.

Snape spoke up, “Twenty points from Gryffindor Mr. Weasley. Perhaps next time, you won’t announce that the crazy witch is crazy. Especially while she is still holding a weapon around so many students, including the first years.”

Ron winced at the lost points and the fact that Snape was right, not that he was planning on admitting it.

Dumbledore said, “Thirty points to Gryffindor for Miss Granger revealing a potential danger to the school.”

Snape grimaced. He couldn’t exactly fault Albus for the points for getting rid of Umbridge, but he could have at least let the lost points sink in first. “Shall I escort her to the hospital?”

“In one piece, if you please.” Dumbledore turned to look at McGonagall. “Minerva, please take Umbridge’s wand and go with him. I’d hate to have her claim that we tampered with it.”

“If you insist,” Snape remarked as he stood up, drew his wand then flicked it at Umbridge and levitated her into the air.

McGonagall glanced at Hermione then got up and headed over to collect Umbridge’s wand.

Dumbledore rose. “Miss Granger, Mister Potter, please join me in my office. The rest of you, please return to your meal and enjoy the rest of your morning,” he finished the rest of his comment in his head, ‘because I’m not going to.’ He waited as the cheers died down. “Defense classes are canceled for the duration until this matter has been thoroughly investigated.”

Harry was just glad that he was mostly done with breakfast anyways as they followed Dumbledore to his office, knowing that the conversation was going to be uncomfortable.

“Lemon drop?” Dumbledore asked as he lead the students into his office.

Harry glanced over at Fawkes empty perch then glanced down at the bowl of lemon drops on Dumbledore's desk. “What’s in them?”

“You would have to ask the fine confectioners at Honeydukes. They’ve never shared the recipe with me, so do tell if you find out.” 

Harry took one of the lemon drops. “How bad is this?”

“The women was always high strung. I expected problems, not a complete mental breakdown in the Great Hall.” He looked at Hermione. “Can I trouble you for a copy of the memory of the detention?”

“I’d be happy to.” Hermione waited until Dumbledore opened the cabinet halfway then pushed the button on her watch, pausing time. “This might be a problem.”

“How much stitching memories together are you going to have to do?” Harry asked warily.

“I used the blood quill, figured out what it did then paused time and drugged her, copied the lines with my wand and then left. Of course, I stopped time for a bit in there, so that might be a problem,” she admitted. 

“So what you’re saying is, we’re screwed?” Harry asked warily.

“No, I’m saying it would be easier if we staged a new detention with the polyjuice we found in the stuff we looted from Borgin and Burkes.”

“Wait, you’re going to make me drink Umbridge hairs aren’t you?” Harry asked warily.

“Better you than me,” Hermione replied replied with amusement.

Harry gasped dramatically. “Wait! How about we polyjuice you as Umbridge, me as you, and Snape as a cabbage?!”

“Are you done?” Hermione with amusement.

“You’re crushing my hopes and dreams here,” he whined.

“You had hopes and dreams about Umbridge?” Hermione asked looking disturbed.

“Yeah, never having to eat or drink any portion of her anatomy, and that includes hair, damn it!”

“We’re not getting away with this without it,” Hermione pointed out, trying not to laugh.

“When I have nightmares about this, I’m blaming you.”

Hermione looked down her nose at Harry. “Done?”

“Yeah, I guess.” Harry put the lemon drop into his mouth. “Tastes fine.”

Hermione rolled her eyes. “You’re getting as bad as Mad Eye.”

“What are we going to do about the windows?” Hermione asked.

“Huh?”

“It was night out, we’re going to have to cover them or something to make it look like it was dark.”

“I guess we’ll figure something out, let’s start by using the pensieve and grabbing the memory. On the off chance the bitch is willing to donate her memory of the event, I’d like them to match as much as possible.”

“Probably for the best,” Hermione agreed as she walked over to the partially open cabinet and studied the placement of the pensieve on the shelf so that she could place it back exactly where Dumbledore had it. She carefully picked up the pensieve and walked over to the desk and set it down on a cleared section. She pulled out her wand and touched the wand tip to her head, thinking about her time in the detention.

Harry watched as Hermione pulled a silvery glowing thread out of her temple. “That’s a little weird.”

“It feels a bit strange,” Hermione admitted as she put the silvery string in the rune covered stone bowl. “We should be able to view the memory if we touch the liquid.”

“If you did it right,” Harry teased.

Hermione shook her head. “Get over here and touch my memory.”

Harry walked over and carefully stuck his finger in the liquid then found himself outside of Umbridge’s office watching Hermione walk into the office. He glanced over at the second Hermione who was watching the memory walk into the classroom. “I’m going to have a hard time not killing the bitch after this, aren’t I?”

Hermione sighed. “I left before it got too painful but yeah, unless they actually toss her into Azkaban or exile her, she’s going to be a problem.”

“We’re going to have to watch this more than once aren’t we?” Harry asked as he walked over to the window to get a better look at what they could see.

“Probably at least twice,” Hermione agreed, wanting to make sure everything matched as best she could.

0o0o0

Hermione carefully placed the pensieve back in the cabinet then walked back to where she’d been standing when she froze time. “Ready?”

Harry shifted his stance slightly so that he was as close as he could remember to how he’d been positioned. “Should be, we added a splash of firewhiskey to her robes, an empty bottle in the desk and half filled the ugly ass teacup with firewhiskey. We took care of the windows with a prank spell we got from Sirius’s book to make it look like night and everything else looked legit, my look of disgust matched her look of annoyance, I think we’re good. Besides, I’m not drinking Umbridge goo again, am not. Once was more than enough, ever,” Harry complained.

“In that case, let’s do this. 3, 2, 1.” Hermione pushed the button and unpaused time.

Dumbledore walked over to the desk and set his pensieve on the desk as he replied, “It’s a simple matter of touching the tip of your wand to your temple and thinking about the memory you wish to retrieve.”

“If it’s that easy, do you mind if I record my memory of the finding the cup then the dual in the graveyard?” Harry asked hoping that Dumbledore wouldn’t object.

Dumbledore sighed. “I don’t mind, though I doubt the minister would take your memories as proof that Tom is back.”

“Probably not, but I have a feeling Madam Bones would appreciate watching Voldemort call the various ‘upstanding’ members of society by name. Some of them have given Fudge rather large donations and weren’t wearing masks.”

“She won’t appreciate the paperwork this is going to cause, but she could use a heads up, as they say.” Dumbledore smiled slightly as he thought about how hard Fudge was going to have to work to keep his job.

“Happy to help,” Hermione replied as she pulled a memory of the staged detention out of her head. She placed the silvery thread in the pensieve. “Hopefully that works.” 

“I’m sure it will be fine. I’ll need the blood quills as evidence.” 

“You’re welcome to them, I just wanted to make sure she wasn’t hurting anyone else,” Hermione said, not mentioning she’d also wanted to make sure no one had a chance to remove the blood already on them from the various other students she’d given detention to. 

“Thank you.”

0o0o0

Hermione blinked as she looked up and saw Luna smiling at her and Harry. “Luna, what brings you to the Gryffindor table?”

Luna held up her notebook. “I was hoping to set up a time for an interview with you and Harry for the Quibbler, to get your side of the story with Umbridge.”

“We should have some time before dinner to give you an interview, how’s that?”

“Excellent, do you have any theories on which species of toad she is descended from?” Luna asked eagerly. 

Hermione glanced around the table where the various Gryffindors were paying more attention to her conversation than their lunch. “Not at present but it might be a good research project to look into her background.”

Harry covered his laugh with a cough.

“Or how about the rumor that Harry is actually the reincarnation of the Aztec god of sex and time? Or was it sexy time? That part of the ruin was hard to translate,” Luna said earnestly.

“Well…” Harry began.

“No, not remotely possible,” Hermione interrupted him.

“You can’t prove I’m not,” Harry teased.

“I’ll put that down as a maybe,” Luna replied with amusement as she made a couple notes in her notebook.

“Works for me,” Harry agreed cheerfully as Hermione sighed. 

“Thanks, I’ve got to hurry, but I’ll meet up with you a half hour before dinner in the great hall, if that’s good for you?” Luna said brightly.

“That works,” Hermione agreed as Harry nodded.

Harry smiled as Luna practically bounced away. Sure, the Quibbler wasn’t the most credible but compared to the Daily Prophet they seemed their best shot at getting the message out that Umbridge was nuts and the ministry was losing track of the plot.

“Completely mental that one,” Ron said as he finally looked up from his lunch.

“Better than Skeeter,” Harry pointed out.

“Harry, a sex god? Seriously?” He shook his head. “Now if it was me, I could see that,” he said jokingly.

‘He does have the stamina of a thestral,’ Hermione thought to herself as Harry hit Ron in the head with a roll, which the redhead caught and promptly started eating.

Harry said, “At least Potions wasn’t actually that bad today.”

“Was it just me or was he actually smiling for a bit there?” Ron asked in whisper, a touch uneasy with the memory of Snape smiling.

“It might have just been gas,” Harry replied.

Neville spoke up, reminding them that there were other people at the table, “I’m fairly sure that was when he noticed I’d screwed up my potion and he got to eviscerate my potion making skills or lack thereof.”

“Yeah, he’s a prick but at least Umbridge shouldn’t be back,” Ron said enthusiastically. “Speaking of which, we’ve a free period because Defense was canceled, want to play chess?” he asked hoping to get in a couple games before they had to go to divination.

Hermione rolled her eyes. “Or we could go to the library and study.”

“We have the period off and you want to study?” Ron asked in disgust at the idea of ruining a perfectly good free period.

“Did you forget about the fact we have a homicidal maniac after us?” she demanded.

“He’s after Harry, not us,” Ron turned to Harry, “no offense, Harry.”

Harry glanced at the teacher’s table then flipped Ron off below their line of sight, making Ron grin in amusement.

“I’m a muggleborn…” Hermione trailed off not sure how to point out that his whole family were basically blood traitors without being overly blunt.

Neville snorted. “Both our family are blood traitors according to the Death Eaters so yeah, she’s got a point.”

Ron shook his head. “That just means we should take more naps so we’ll be well rested when we have to run,” he said reasonably.

“I’m going to the library, you can waste the time if you want,” she said deciding she didn’t want the headache dealing with him usually caused.

“I will, thanks,” Ron agreed cheerfully.

‘That wasn’t the point,’ Hermione grumbled to herself but decided to let it go, mostly because she tired of his complaining.

“Sorry Ron but I have to agree with Hermione,” Harry said.

Neville sighed when Ron turned to look at him. “Sorry, studying in the library sounds more productive than losing another round of chess.”

“How are you going to win if you don’t practice?” Ron asked.

“If we get good enough at Defense, we might live to practice later,” Harry pointed out, not really seeing the point in playing chess when the skill had no real life application.

“To each his own, but that’s what class is for,” Ron pointed out in what he thought constituted a well reasoned argument.

“I’m sure we’ll have time on the weekend for a game or something after you finish your homework,” Harry suggested knowing that they basically had all the time in the world with the watch, but not wanting to encourage Ron’s laziness. 

Ron glanced at Seamus and Dean who were sitting at the other end of the table and realized his group of potential opponents was shrinking. “Fine, homework it is, ruin a perfectly good excuse to put off schoolwork for the moment.”