10K… (Patreon)

Let me start from the beginning.

I started making YouTube Videos around about Covid19 and the Lockdown of 2020. I was reacting to Doctor Who, Torchwood and the Haunting of Hill House! Three shows that I enjoyed and loved so much. When lockdown hit, my flatmate had to move away and I was left alone in my little flat for months on end. Going to work in a supermarket, making videos, sitting alone and doing it over and over again. The constant pressure I put on myself as well as being alone with my thoughts, didn’t make for a good time.

In the August of 2020, I slammed into rock bottom and hit a stage in my life where I went through a massive bout of depression. I had to move to my parents place for 9 months to be looked after, I couldn’t even look at myself on camera or in a mirror, I had constant breakdowns and it was truly one of the most difficult times in my life. And ultimately, I fell out of love with YouTube. A lot of body issues, body dysmorphia, anxiety, stress etc, all made it difficult to create content. So I’d only post maybe a couple times a year when I could build up the courage and confidence to do so.

During this time though, I was honing my editing skills on the side by editing for others. Lawrence Chaney reached out to me to edit their YouTube Videos. Then James Charles watched them and sent my instagram to his friend, Gottmik. Then Gigi Gorgeous caught wind of me. Then Violet Chachki. Etc, etc. So I ended up being a full time Video Editor behind the scenes for big clients worldwide.

This is when my confidence started to build back up. Not being so hard on myself. Not taking life too seriously. Not caring what others think. And not putting pressure on myself to do YouTube full time. But that’s when I decided, that in February of this year, I’d post a reaction to Everything, Everywhere, All At Once. And let me tell you, I’m so glad I did.

When I started back on YouTube this year, I had a personal goal of hitting 10K subscribers by the end of the year. A growth of 4.4K to 10K in 10 months. I wanted to show myself that I could do it again. That it could be fun again. That not putting pressure on myself and having a laugh, will bring in the right crowd. That YouTube can bring me happiness. Well, it’s August, and I’ve just hit 10K Subscribers!!

I’m so immensely proud of myself. I’m so thankful to all of you, for helping me on this journey, for helping me create fun videos and memories and for keeping me confident in what I do. I struggle a lot with anxiety, which isn’t usually something I talk about, but seeing all your comments and feeling your love, really makes me proud of the fun work I do.

It’s been a long journey, and that’s not even scratched the surface, but I’m so proud of how far I’ve come!

THANK YOU SO, SO MUCH!! You all mean the world to me, and I’m grateful that you’re all here to support me!! You’ll always get the same love and support back from me and I can’t wait to see what the future holds 💖