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Sex Worker Therapist, Breadcrumbing, Objectophilia, and Cognitive Dissonance (Patreon)

Published:
2023-08-02 14:00:05
Imported:
2024-02

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Content

Dr Kirk answers patron emails.

00:00 Sex work therapist & disclosures

12:54 Violating trust

20:26 Overcoming insecurities

26:16 Breadcrumbing

33:14 Objectophilia

38:40 Cognitive dissonance & projection

49:44 OPP

51:04 Gender oppression

1:05:01 Visceral trauma

Become a member: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOUZWV1DRtHtpP2H48S7iiw/join

Become a patron: https://www.patreon.com/PsychologyInSeattle

Email: https://www.psychologyinseattle.com/contact

Website: https://www.psychologyinseattle.com

Merch: https://teespring.com/stores/psychology-in-seattle

Cameo: https://www.cameo.com/kirkhonda

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/psychologyinseattle/

Facebook Official Page: https://www.facebook.com/PsychologyInSeattle/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kirk.honda

August 2, 2023

The Psychology In Seattle Podcast ®

Trigger Warning: This episode may include topics such as assault, trauma, and discrimination. If necessary, listeners are encouraged to refrain from listening and care for their safety and well-being.

Disclaimer: The content provided is for educational, informational, and entertainment purposes only. Nothing here constitutes personal or professional consultation, therapy, diagnosis, or creates a counselor-client relationship. Topics discussed may generate differing points of view. If you participate (by being a guest, submitting a question, or commenting) you must do so with the knowledge that we cannot control reactions or responses from others, which may not agree with you or feel unfair. Your participation on this site is at your own risk, accepting full responsibility for any liability or harm that may result. Anything you write here may be used for discussion or endorsement of the podcast. Opinions and views expressed by the host and guest hosts are personal views. Although, we take precautions and fact check, they should not be considered facts and the opinions may change. Opinions posted by participants (such as comments) are not those of the hosts. Readers should not rely on any information found here and should perform due diligence before taking any action. For a more extensive description of factors for you to consider, please see www.psychologyinseattle.com

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Comments

SeattleTransAndNonbinary ChoralEnsemble

Being an escort is 25% fucking, 25% marketing yourself; as a fantasy and selling that story, 25% holding space for men as they complain about their wives or chronic loneliness, and 25% coping with the disappointment, odd hours and income insecurity of being a small business owner. So, 75% of that is directly applicable to being a private practice therapist (and 25% shouldn’t be). I agree very much with Kirk’s recommendation of leaning into it as a niche, and when you do get to the point of advertising yourself online or in databases, don’t be afraid to seed it with even more specific niches - while it may only appeal to 2 to 5% of people looking for therapy, you might be one of only a handful or literally the only one who comes up for people searching for something like “emdr therapy for lifestyle bdsm slave” or “polyamorous infertility mental health counseling” or “treatment for sex addiction to cam girl porn” compared to the tens of thousands out there you’re competing with when they search for “sex therapist” or “lgbtq friendly counseling”. Just watch out for the people who think that your history means they can live out their therapist sex fantasy by hiring you as a provider, might be good to put something explicit (no pun intended) in your disclaimer like “to get the elephant in the room out of the way, yes, I am a former adult film actress/dominatrix/whatever. You are hiring me as a medical professional, which means that, even when you feel safe enough to tell me your personal feelings and divulge intimate details, it will NEVER be appropriate for us to touch each other, for you to masturbate in my session, for you to call me at night, to discuss my video career, send naked photos of yourself to me, invite me to kinky parties, or anything else you’re worried might be crossing the line. These activities are never appropriate for a client of any counselor, and I maintain the ethical boundaries laid out by (link to professional board code of conduct). If this is the sort of interaction you are looking for, I encourage you to visit (link to escort ad site) instead and ask one of them to pretend to be a therapist.”

SeattleTransAndNonbinary ChoralEnsemble

Re objectophilia- my guess is it is a neotenic holdover of the strong attachment children often form to a favorite toy or imaginary friend, that dovetails with the development of an object fetish when puberty happens. It’s not uncommon for the first exploratory masturbation experiences to take place with a favorite stuffed animal or ‘blankie’ long before adolescence and this is developmentally appropriate despite being frequently punished by parents. Don’t remember where I read that objectophilia is more common among people on the autism spectrum, but I think it’s important not to pathologize heterodox yet harmless and soothing behaviors, like stimming and talking to one’s self, often just because autistic people engage in them and we call their condition a disability. If a person who is intimidated and socially paralyzed by the prospect of the complex interpersonal norms of dating and relationships, finds love with a doll, a victorian ghost, an anthropomorphic badger from a video game, or a piece of construction equipment, why not just be happy that they found someone/something, instead of ridiculing them and calling them pathetic? It may also be good practice for “real” relationships, without many of the risks such as pregnancy, stds, infidelity, domestic violence, catfishing, romance scams… the list goes on. If only the rest of us were so lucky as to have a fulfilling romance with our blender, that we might avoid these ills! (Not that it makes them immune to heartbreak, pining and unrequited desire, as I’m sure the sweet young man with Down syndrome from documentary, who shed tears in his mother’s arms over the fact that even though she was his first and only true love, he would never be able to marry Elsa because she’s a cartoon - plus that whole frozen heart thing). I wonder if ‘tulpas’ or even disassociative identity disorder are somehow linked with the imaginary friend being held onto either intentionally in the former case or as a coping mechanism to defend against trauma in the latter. Again, no sources but I remember reading that only children, homeschoolers and other isolated children tend to have stronger attachment with imaginary friends and engage in solitary make-believe play to a more advanced age and are more likely to devise paracosms. That there are no other kids bullies around to call them “weirdo” nonconformists for these forms of play in a sense could be a protective factor for creativity.