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Dr. Kirk and Bob answer patron emails.

Transference, Job, Birth Trauma, and Bob Attachment

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Anonymous

I was separated at birth 1964 for 6 weeks (because I was very small) not in an incubator. No touch or skin contact. My parents apparently stopped the car on the way to the larger women's hospital and held my hand. They were allowed to visit me once a week. Unsurprisingly my relationship with my mother has never been that great. I believe this separation meant any bonding was severely compromised. This was in Auckland, New Zealand, and obviously before Mary Main & her work on attachment reached nz. I believe my mother / parents were much harsher on me (eldest) than they were on my two younger sisters. It's certainly affected my life in invisible ways to others, but quite tangible to me. Adhd undiagnosed until my mid 40's. Possibly other learning difficulties. Being "written off" as not intelligent by parents. Being in an emotionally abusive marriage for 25 years. However I've done lots of work. Gained lots of benefit from PiS 🤗 Just hope I've broken any intergenerational patterns, for my daughter's sake. Her birth was quite traumatic for me. I didn't bond with her to begin with. I did have a good relationship with her as a child. I was acutely conscious of the importance of bonding. Something my mother had no knowledge of.

Anonymous

Sounds incredibly difficult. I really feel that breaking the cycle of generational trauma is one of the most diffult and noble things we can do with this life. ❤

Anonymous

As always, I love episodes with Bob