Depression ~LOL~ (Patreon)

Well, I feel as though my mental health check ins over the past few weeks have been slightly vague, but also more informative than my vlogs at least as to how I'm feeling! I've been feeling pretty depressed lately (hence my sporadic posting & lack of presence in my last vlog) & only today have started to feel a bit more like myself. I figured if the depression is kind of loosening its grip I should at least talk about it. So, today I started to film a "Clean with me: Depression Edition" for YouTube lol. It sounds so dramatic, but I have been absolutely riddled with lack of motivation, lack of self care, inability to focus, needing to distract myself with TV, etc. for hell... 3 weeks now? Something absurd compared to my past experiences with more seasonal depression. It came on fast this year for sure. I know I can point to a handful of reasons why I'm feeling this way & spoke about a few of them in the intro of the video, but the bottom line is it totally sucks brothers! I feel like I have more of an idea now than ever on how crippling depression can be. Thank GOD this past Friday & Saturday I finally got out of the house to do something other than grocery shop, run errands, or go to appointments. I had such a great fall fun time with Finley, but Sunday rolled around & things went back downhill. It obviously is coming in waves, but I just wanted to share more about my experience here & say I love you guys & appreciate your patience with me during this time. Finley has been so understanding & helpful as well so I have to shout his ass out. I feel myself slowly coming back, but I know it takes time. If you're feeling this way too-- Just know I love you & I hope you have someone in your life to talk to about all this whether it's a therapist or loved one. Love, Meg