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Chapter 2 – Penis Merchant II



Money must be plentiful in this city of greed. There are several big banks on this street alone.


I went around begging people to lend me money.


But no one wanted to lend me, not even a single bond.


In the past, this would never have happened. In fact, the bankers even begged me to borrow money from them.


But now, as if the tide has receded, the banks’ response has become tepid. No matter how high the interest rate I offered, it made no difference. Hell, even the loan sharks here have turned me down.


Three of the ships I financed have lost contact――


Do these people know about these rumors?


“It’s not just that. There are also rumors that you’re about to go bankrupt.”


As I was dozing off in the street, someone came up to me.


And just as I expected, it’s the pesky slave trader.


“That’s… a terrible misinterpretation of the facts.”


“Well, it can’t be helped if they see you scrambling for money like that. They just don’t trust you anymore. That’s why…”


As he said this, silver-rimmed took a piece of paper out of his breast pocket.


“That’s why I thought about lending you some money upfront.”


“What? I thought you couldn’t lend money to someone who was about to die.”


“That’s what I thought at first. But then I realized that since my friend is so desperate, it would be ungenerous not to lend him some help in his trying times.”


“What are you thinking?”


When I asked him that, instead of answering, he handed me a piece of paper.


Yes, it was a contract.


The main points could be summarised in four points.


1. a loan of 30 million bonds


2. The interest is 10% for ten days, paid in advance.


3. repayment due in one month


4. if repayment is not made by the due date, they will take my male genitalia.


“This is…”


“Hmm, what do you think? Do you accept?”


“Silver-rimmed… are you a homo?”


“I am not! It means that if you don’t pay me back, I’ll take your penis. In other words, we’ll cut it off.”


Silver-rimmed smiles evilly from behind his glasses as he says this.


Of course, he is. No matter how good he is on the surface, he is always a nasty bastard underneath.


But this guy probably thinks there’s no way I could sign such a terrible contract.


My stomach churns at the thought, and I reply with a stubborn smile.


“Fine. I’ll show you. I will end up marrying a white elf princess. And when that happens, 30 million bonds will be just a fraction of what I will earn.”


〇●〇●


When I arrived at the laboratory of a particular magical moving plane, I looked at the 21 million bonds (interest already deducted) I had borrowed from Silver-rimmed and sighed.


If I can’t pay back this money, or to be more precise, if I can’t pay back the 30 million bonds, they’ll cut off my pretty cock between my legs.


What a scary contract. Why am I so stubborn?


“Hey, long time no see.”


As I held my head in my hands, an old man from the research institute, whom I know well, called out to me.


He has a face like a pig… or rather a pig’s face itself, and he has the habit of snorting like the said animal from time to time.


But appearances are deceiving, for this grandfather is a pioneer, having built the world’s first successful magical flying vehicle ten years ago.


If you want to travel by air, this is the man to ask.


“I need you to take me to Hermes. How much is the current rate?”


I asked,


“About 11 million bonds, one way.”


He replies.


I see. The price has come down a little.


The price of a groundbreaking new invention (innovation) initially rises as it spreads around the world but gradually falls as the production system is established. And in this way, it becomes an old industry before we know it. Every industry begins as a new industry, and every new industry eventually becomes an old industry.


Well, the magic airplane is still a new invention.


The 21 million bonds I have are not enough, and in the end, it will be a one-way flight.


Nevertheless, I replied as follows.


“I’ll give you the 11 million bonds now.”


“Hm, sure.”


The old man took them without even counting them.


“In return, please prepare the plane immediately. I’m in a hurry.”


“OK. I’ll bring the pilot out, so wait a bit.”


“Oh, isn’t old pops supposed to fly it?”


“Yeah, I’m getting old. I’m leaving the piloting to my granddaughter now.”


“Is that so…”


I felt a bit lonely. The first time I flew in the sky was with this grandpa at the controls, and I remember being really moved by it.


The old man made a noise with his pig nose and said:


“Pfft, a pig that can’t fly is just a…”[1]


“Whoa! Stop it, you idiot!”


I stopped him in a panic.


“What do you mean, idiot?”


“Even simple parodies can get you in trouble these days, you know. Don’t do it.”


“Damn, it’s a tough world out there, isn’t it?”


With that, the old man went to call his granddaughter.


Anyway, since the old man himself seemed to be doing well, I stopped indulging in my old memories.


Translator Notes:


[1]. “A pig that doesn’t fly is just an ordinary pig.” (tobanē buta wa tada no buta da. Original quote “飛ばねえ豚はただの豚だ。”) This was a reference to one of Porco’s famous lines in Porco Rosso (Kurenai no Buta), a 1992 animated film by Studio Ghibli and one of Miyazaki’s creations.
 


The main character is a former Italian World War I fighter ace who has turned into a freelance bounty hunter, hunting down “air pirates” in the Adriatic Sea. However, an unusual curse has turned him into an anthropomorphic pig (basically a man with a pig’s head).↰


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