Profession, Merchant Volume 8 Chapter 2 (Patreon)

Chapter 2 – Dogfight I

Our carriage is now heading down the new road towards Andersen.

To my right, steering the horse, sits the female warrior, and to my left the holy knight, who is humming something.

I don’t know what song it was, but I found myself humming it too.

It was as if the world the three of us were in was separate from the world the rest of the people lived in.

Well, after a while I saw a sign that said ‘Ten kilometers to Andersen’.

It was easy to see that things were getting tight, and I felt like running straight through.

But then I felt an uncontrollable urge to urinate in my lower abdomen, and everything stopped.

“I’m going to pee.”

I stopped the carriage on the side of the road.

“Oh yes. I almost forgot. Your bladder is so full it’s about to burst, right?”

“Be careful and try not to leak on the way.”

I started to urinate in the bushes, leaving the two women who were smiling at me for some reason.

A lot of it was coming out.

So much that I couldn’t feel any sign of the urine stopping.

As I watched the golden liquid, I realized that the excretion of waste in one’s body could not be shared with others, no matter how far one’s ‘assimilation’ went. 

But this also meant that assimilation with others was only one part of my psyche, and in another part of my psyche I am still me, and that there is still an individual ego.

And that ego is probably based on attributes, which for me was that of my identity as a merchant.

As a merchant, I might be forced to assess Andersen’s situation and take action to ensure that the contract is upheld, possibly even interfering in the internal affairs of other “assimilations”.

I felt a foreboding. That going along this path will endanger my assimilated consciousness with the three of us, and this dangerous feeling told me that I was in danger of splitting another part of myself apart, but I managed to pick myself up and give my urine some momentum.

At that moment.

“Hey, you. Don’t move.”

Someone called from behind me and I turned my head, feeling a sense of déjà vu.

And there, instead of a bald head, was a well-dressed, blond, beautiful boy with piercing eyes, holding a saber in the air towards me.

The boy stares at me with eyes that look sad for some reason, even though they are not, and examines me.

“Oh, I won’t hurt you if you stay quiet, so it’s best if you just follow me obediently.”

At first glance, it is hard not to get angry when a brat in his mid-teens talks to you like that, but with a saber pointed at your face, it is also hard not to say something rash.

“What are you going to do to me? I don’t see what good it would do—”

“Shut up! I’ll stab you if you keep talking.”

I tried to reason with him, but he immediately took my words as insubordination. He sounds so angry that I can feel the leaves on the ground dancing around us.

But if you look closely, you can see that his well-groomed fringes are swaying and his hands are trembling slightly.

He is frightened.

But that does not mean that I should feel at ease.

In fact, it is the emotionally unstable who have lost their cool who are more dangerous.

“All right, all right.”

Feeling that I am in danger, I honestly raise the white flag.

“But can you wait a minute? At least until this guy has finished.”

I point at the urine pouring out of me.

“W-well, I can’t help it then.”

And as expected, he agrees.

He seems to understand that no matter how big you are, you can’t stop physiological phenomena.

“Hey, you!”

Suddenly, a loud voice came from behind where the boy and I were standing, from the road.

It was the female warrior.

“Get away from him!”

She was holding a large sword, as tall as she was – not, but my Blue Dragon Sword.

The relationship between her and me was certainly different from a year ago, so her daunting pose, which would have intimidated an ordinary human, made me feel different emotions.

“Damn, it’s the female warrior.”

The boy muttered.

Huh? Does he know the female warrior?

“Hey, you’re not done yet?”

He pushes me, but when he sees that I’m still urinating vigorously, he clicks his tongue.

“I have no choice. I’ll take you straight to him.”

The boy said this, put his ring finger and thumb in his mouth and whistled.

Then a hawk came down from the sky, spreading its wings majestically.

But it was no ordinary hawk.

It was a giant hawk, probably four or five times the size of a normal hawk.

The hawk then grabbed the boy’s slender shoulders with its talons.

As the boy was lifted into the air by the hawk, I thought, “Oh dear, he’ll get away”, but I was naive.

As soon as he was airborne, he grabbed me by my back collar, as I hadn’t finished urinating.

The hawk was holding the boy and the boy was holding me, which inevitably resulted in my body being lifted into the air as well.

“Hey, wait… kyaa!!”

The female warrior rushes and jumps to grab me, but it is too late.

She is already out of range, and since she can only fight on the ground, she can only defend herself with her arms against my urine splashing down on her face.

“Hey, this is all too inhumane!”

I accused the boy.

The hawk was already soaring so high that the trees below looked small, and the golden urine that kept pouring out of my dick was spraying all over the ground.

It might be good fertilizer for the trees, but if it fell on a sweet girl picking flowers, it would be a crime and a disaster if I was seen.

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