Profession, Merchant Volume 7 Side Story I (Patreon)

Side Story – A Secretary’s Prank I (LN Exclusive)

“Nice to meet you. I am the secretary to the Demon Lord of Newland.”

That was how I introduced myself at the beginning.

The merchant at the other end also introduced himself, saying this and that.

That was about two years ago.

But at first sight, I felt a terrible dislike for this merchant.

It is hard to say why.

But if I had to say it, it’s because I felt something sticky in the way he looked at me, as if he was contaminating me with his gaze, which is disgusting.

He really is a disgusting man.

But since the merchant says he’s going to lease us a magic ore mining machine, I can’t be indifferent.

Newland, though it boasts of its mighty power under the patronage of the demon lord, will fall behind other countries if it does not adopt human technology from now on.

As such, we need a human like him to serve as a bridge.

I had no choice but to grant him an audience with the demon lord.

But that merchant… to think that he would look at the demon lord the same way he looked at me, who does he think he is?

For the record, it was a clinging, flirting look, and it’s very uncomfortable if you’re a woman.

I thought that such a rude man would soon be exterminated by the demon lord, but surprisingly, the demon lord took a liking to him.

At every turn, she would ask me, “Call that merchant.”

I couldn’t help but wonder, so I asked.

“Your Majesty, forgive my rudeness. But why do you keep summoning that rude man? Is it necessary for him to always report to you personally?”

“Hmm? You mean the merchant? He is a very interesting man. And his sperm is delicious.”

“Is that all? If it’s just for fun, maybe we can arrange some other entertainment.”

“No, that won’t be necessary. Besides, he’s not a bad person. Or rather, he’s got a good head on his shoulders. Above all, his sperm is so good.”

“Even if he’s smart, I don’t think he’s worth much, because there’s no shortage of smart people in our country. “With all due trepidation, I too am proud to be one of those…”

“No, no, no. What I mean is that he’s quite charming. That makes him worth teasing, and his sperm tastes so good.”

[His sperm tastes so good] and something similar was repeated three times in all three of the demon lord’s responses. That means this matter is quite important.

Of course, I already knew that the demon lord has a deep obsession with the taste of human semen.

I am afraid to say that I am no different, since I also buy and eat human semen, since I and the demon lord are of the same species.

But is there really that much difference?

I find it hard to believe that each human being has their own unique taste of semen.

After all, the only semen I have ever tasted were those that has been bottled and sold in shops as a gourmet product.

And all of it tasted the same.

So it was even more inconceivable to me that the sperm brewed inside a man with an evil look in his eyes like that merchant would taste so good.

No matter what, it is impossible for his sperm to surpass the quality of the premium products on the market.

All these things combined; I developed an even greater dislike for that merchant.

But business is another story.

It is clear that he can bring a potential benefit to Newland, so I have to separate that from my personal feelings.

I handled most of the business meetings with him, which went relatively smoothly.

Now for his background investigation.

As for why I needed it, someone had pointed out that there’s a possibility that this merchant might be a spy for the humans, especially around the Four Devas (Four Heavenly Kings).

Therefore, before signing the contract, it was necessary to investigate the background and other factors related to this human to dispel this notion.

However, this was already finished from the moment he arrived at Newlands, as it was done in parallel with the business negotiations.

The result was that the likelihood of him engaging in espionage was extremely low.

But that’s not the end of it.

The final step is to examine what he has in his possession, including his personal vehicle, luggage, documents and even the room in which he is staying, to see if there is anything suspicious about it.

This task was assigned to me.

After inspecting the merchant’s carriage, I sneaked into his room.

A human bed in a stone paved room.

The merchant is wrapped in sheets and asleep.

First I searched his bag, then his desk, then his suitcase, and so on.

He is more meticulous than he appears, so I have to recreate the original position and orientation of the objects down to the last detail.

It is a painstaking task.

But, as expected, there is nothing particularly suspicious about it.

All that remains are the items the merchant carries on his person.

If there were anything suspicious, it would be there.

I slowly pull off the merchant’s sheets.

He is still groggily asleep.

That means the sleeping potion I put in his food today is working well.

Just to be sure, I clap my hands once in front of the merchant’s face.

Still, his eyes remain closed.

What can I say, except that this is an expected reaction.

Or rather, I preferred him to be in this state.

For I am sure that as soon as he wakes up, that disgusting personality of his will ooze out of him.

After all, there’s no denying that he’s a real bastard.

I wish he would just sleep forever.

Now that he doesn’t seem to be waking up, I started examining the bracelets and necklaces the merchant was wearing.

I’m doing this because when I’ve spotted spies in the past, they’ve always had accessories disguised as magical communication devices implanted in their bodies.

But no matter how hard I look, the merchant had no such magical devices in his possession.

I suppose there is nothing suspicious after all – just when I thought that,

I felt something moving below his waist, like some sort of writhing motion.

Surprised, I looked over at that spot.

Then I spotted a strange bulge between the merchant’s legs.

His blue pajamas are sticking out in a tweedy, tent-like shape.

This is suspicious.

Anxiously, I touch the top of the tent.

It bounced with a jerk.

This is getting more and more suspicious.

Perhaps he has a communication magic beast between his legs.

I hurriedly pulled down his pajamas and underwear.

But the protrusion was caught in the waistband of his pajamas and wouldn’t come down.

As I forced them down further, something rod-like jumped up and popped out, and I couldn’t help but shriek.

“Is that… a penis?”

Yes.

I knew that human males have a penis.

I’d even seen illustrations of its shape in picture books.

But I didn’t know it was something that grew between the legs, so I was surprised.

I had always imagined that a penis was something that grew out of the top of the head, like a horn or something.

“W-what the hell, if it’s just a penis, I have no use for it.”

But even as I tell myself that, I can feel the demon lord’s words replaying in my head.

The “is so delicious” part, so to speak.

Yes.

I know that sperm also comes out of a penis.

“But, but, but… so what!”

I said to myself, and then I felt my cheeks burning as I was struck by palpitations of unknown origin.

It is true that human sperm is quite tasty, and I know that the demon lord praised the merchant’s sperm in particular, but that does not mean that I am so shameless as to drink a man’s sperm just because it is served to me.

Especially if it’s from a man I’ve recently met.

Now I’m ashamed of these shameless feelings.

No, it’s not that.

It has never crossed my mind to drink the sperm of this disgusting man!

I definitely do not think about it!

Even so…

Maybe… there is something suspicious about this penis?

Then I must check it out.

I don’t like it, but it’s my job.

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