This Is Who We Are (Patreon)

Hello my darling Dommes and slutty subs! I hope you're having a good spring thus far.

I come bearing another Femdom movie review. I'm pleased to say we have a winner! Perhaps even a masterpiece. James and I watched Going Under (2004) together and, by the time it was over, we agreed that it was the most thought provoking and poignant examination of kink psychology (and female domination in particular) that we'd ever seen in movie form.

What made this such a nice surprise was its low score on the usual movie rating sites. Normally, that prepares one for disappointment, but when it comes to kink themed movies this trend often works in reverse. I'm not surprised that such a thoughtful movie flew over many reviewers heads. It's by no means an A-list production, but with its limited budget and talent, this independent film does an amazing job both technically and in terms of its themes and story.

I was especially glad to see that this movie truly has two main characters. Both our submissive, Peter and his dominant, Suzanne, are fully fleshed out characters, played wonderfully by their respective actors. The movie delves into their present lives, their pasts and explores the experiences and deep internal motivations that make them who they are and reinforces what they crave.

Peter is a therapist who's had some degree of success, but doesn't appear to be overly wealthy or well regarded. He's married, but sees a dominatrix on the side and his wife is aware of this. Their relationship implies that she has no interest in Femdom, but she values their marriage and his company enough to let him see professional Dominas. They have a daughter who's college age and out of the nest. Peter seems to be late middle age, though he's kept himself in remarkable shape, providing a fine canvas for his Femdom dates to paint on. While he's seen a number of professional Dommes, he's particularly smitten with one.

Suzanne is a professional Domme working in an upscale Femdom bordello. She's a bisexual woman who's currently seeing another woman, but that relationship is shown to be crumbling from their first scene together. Suzanne's life is in upheaval, as she's clearly good at what she does and enjoys doing it, but she knows the sex-work half of her life will always intrude on and complicate her personal relationships.

It's clear that Peter and Suzanne, through their many intense sessions, have forged something more substantial below the surface. Their relationship is no longer strictly professional. Peter wants desperately to throw caution to the wind and pursue something more between them, despite the consequences it might have for his personal and professional life. Suzanne holds doggedly to the rules, with only occasional slips and indications that she wants more too. Complicating things further is the strong implication (though it's never confirmed) that they first met each other as therapist and patient.

Once we learn Suzanne's complicated family and sexual history, it's easy to see why she became a dominant. Not only is it a way for her to reclaim power and to feel safe in an erotic role, but it coincides with her aversion to intimacy. It's remarked on by her boss that she's an expert at FAKING intimacy, and that's why she's so popular. But real intimacy? She wants nothing to do with it. Whether she's scared of true intimacy, she feels she doesn't deserve it, or both, is up for the viewer to decide.

Peter's sexual psychology is a little more vague. It's suggested that he had a domineering but affectionate mother, which tracks with submissive male tendencies. It's also shown that he had trouble forming words and phrases as a child. He needed much correction to overcome his initial language deficiencies and he resents being corrected (verbally) to this day. But sometimes the things we hate become central to our character, and it's possible that being corrected by female authority figures (his mother and teachers) during his formative years burned itself so deeply in his psyche that he'll feel the need for correction forever.

There's also the standard guilt and shame that many men feel for desiring female domination. For Peter, that stacks on top of the guilt he feels for seeing someone other than his wife. Even though she permits it, it obviously causes her some amount of discomfort and emotional turmoil, which only adds to his distress and his conception that he deserves to be punished.

The BDSM scenes themselves are very well done; realistic and tasteful. We see several sessions with Peter and Suzanne together. There's also two scenes with them apart. Suzanne takes a trip to top a wealthy and demanding client. Peter goes to a sex club and seeks fulfillment during a period when Suzanne slams the breaks on their relationship. It doesn't work out particularly well for either of them.

Despite everything I've outlined so far, there's a lot I'm leaving out. I'm not going to describe the ending for the same reason: I don't want to spoil this movie for you. This is a drama that anyone with an interest in Femdom should watch. The fact that it can viewed on Tubi, for free, means there's no excuse not to. It can also be rented or purchased on Apple TV and Amazon.

Going Under gets my highest recommendation. 5/5

I've mentioned before that I dislike the cliche that kinky people are always a product of trauma. That said, our formative experiences and any trauma we experience, especially when we're young, is going to affect our sexual development. Often times, trauma conceals itself in our minds. The reason we don't remember these formative experiences is because we've blocked them out in an attempt to protect ourselves.

Let me know in the poll below. Have you traced your interest in kink back to particular memories, experiences or relationships? Or do you think your fetishes and Femdom fascination rise from a more general attraction to BDSM titillation and taboo? Select all the answers that apply to you.

Thanks for reading, my cheeky cherubs! And for taking part in my polls. Stay tuned for more content coming soon!

Yours Truly,

Mistress Cereza