BLOG: Finding my way... (Patreon)

What’s up tribe! This year has been extremely intense for me with a lot of highs and lows. I’ve been really struggling to feel grounded the last two months and I finally feel like i’m emerging from a personal storm (thank God🙌🏾). When I say grounded I mean it in the most literal form, looking for an apartment for Luna and I while staying with my mom and with friends has been incredibly challenging and truly has tested me in a lot of ways. Drowning in guilt for feeling like I’m not providing Luna with stability. All the while beating myself up for fucking up the best love my heart has ever known. Along with a bunch of other shit really had me feeling stuck. Nothing seemed to be happening smoothly and when I felt like I was making progress something new would come up. “If it ain’t one thing it’s another” has been the title of my life for the last two months. I was still spending time with adventure bae with hopes of our relationship re-emerging despite him telling me he was already seeing other people. But something in me kept me coming back for more. ..Clinging to the one thing in my life that felt stable but really wasn’t must be the masochist in me.

Anyway, this week After 6 weeks of torturing myself with being with a man that’s entertaining me + 3 other new hinge situations just weeks after our break up I finally took all I could take and broke it off permanently....days later I finally got approved and put a deposit down on an apartment for Luna and I. My best friend came to visit me and we got a room at the beach and Spirit whispered in my ear “let that shit go”. Finally I feel like I can fucking breath . So grateful for progress. If your going through something just know there’s always know there’s light at the end of the tunnel even though sometimes u can’t see it when your in deep in the trenches of life.

I woke up this morning with deep gratitude for timing and for friendship and took some advice from Erica and took some photos of myself makeupless and w/ a five o’clock shadow everywhere lol fuck it!

Xoxo,

Milah