I woke up married to the Queen of Mars! 1 (Patreon)

I woke up married to the Queen of Mars! (Duck Dodgers AU, OCxQueenTyr'ahnee plus Harem)

Commissioner: Gijo.

Become a Diplomat for Earth, things will go just fine.

That’s the words that were used by my parents, my professors, my political teacher and finally some members of the Supreme Council. As someone that has long been pushed into the position, one would expect someone like me to be fine with the kind of role I served.

Especially since I had worked my ass off to get where I was. I made a fuckton of money, I was regarded as a ‘good marriage candidate’ for most of the elite socialite families, and I had contacts with the Supreme Council.

I wouldn’t say I was the most important person on Earth, but I was definitely one of the most known names among those of my generation. And when it comes to tedious negotiations I was the guy.

However, there were a few pet peeves on the job. Specifically, cleaning after the many messes of ‘Earth’s Greatest Hero’. I wouldn’t say I hate Ducky Dodgers, but the female duck had many times caused big issues for Earth to fix on the diplomatic front.

And while the leaders shrugged off the expensive and difficult labor of normalizing relations or changing maps when it came to destroyed planets, the grunts at the various foreign-related bureaus were of a different mindset.

I had the chance to meet her twice, and I was lucky to leave those encounters unscathed thanks to the efforts of her Space Cadet. Nonetheless, I dreaded the many times it came close that the Martians had the upper hand on us.

The closest possible was when General Z-9, already seen by the Intelligence Branch as the main source of Martian Aggression against Earth, started a Coup to try and take over Mars. A combined effort from both Martians and Earthlings prevented that disaster from seeing its full completion.

The General was taken care of and sent to the maximum security prison, Queen Tyr’ahnee reclaimed her throne, and the Galaxy was spared a highly destructive war between the two military giants.

All was nice and well… If one was to ignore the overall anger Earth’s public had over this close encounter to total annihilation. While the Supreme Council tried to smooth things out by using spies as scapegoats for the almost successful Martian effort to steal the codes for Earth’s Defenses, the blame-shifting hardly worked on what had been perceived as a long-standing standoff between the two galactic entities.

Elections were painful for the warhawks as the public wanted a final peace to cease this decades-long sparring of spies and diplomats. The new Council was swift to bow their head to this request and entrust me with the duty to see this mess smoothed out.

Things were not just that easy for two big reasons:

1) The Warhawks still held a firm position in politics through their proxy politicians. Some of the classic pacifists were in fact bribed members that held loyalty to their camp and the arms industry was the core supporter of their interests;

2) Mars had hardly shown any interest to change their stance. Sure, any idea of pushing for Earth’s submission had been ‘forgotten for the time being’, but there was no reason, both for popular consent and royal prerogative, to change this position as radically as many would have preferred.

A Diplomatic Deal for Peace was not a guaranteed outcome, and yet the air back home was tensing up again at the mere notion that peace couldn’t be acquired. And with how readily the politicians were putting random heads in the chopping block, I had to work on something that could get me out of trouble.

Either that or have me leave Earth for a while.

Considering how bad the odds were, that may be the best opportunity. I was going to retain a chance to come back without being targeted, but the important bit was that ‘I tried at the very least’. I was coaxed into it, and I couldn’t exactly back off compared to other jobs.

The opportunity came with the Celebrations meant to show the return of the Queen and the ‘friendly relations with Earth’. Many were going to be around among Earthlings and Martians, so it was imperative I get some discussion made with the Queen before the party got too difficult to keep track of.

Queen Tyr’ahnee was a particularly difficult negotiator. Not much due to her experience or cunning, but rather with how railroaded most of the negotiations with her tended to be and… Earth’s interest to protect its heroes from the desires of ambitious xeno-rulers.

Still, this time was bound to be different. I wasn’t given too many restrictions beyond making this a ‘good enough peace’. Not too conceding of Earth’s position and neither too harsh to the point of warranting a rejection.

As the guests were filling the large ball room of the Martian Royal Palace, I took just a sip from the cocktails being served, a teensy bit of Liquid Courage was much appreciated in these trying times.

Soon I was standing in front of the sitting monarch, the ruler boringly regarding me as I sought her attention.

“Queen Tyr’ahnee, I am here for one last hope for permanent peace between Mars and Earth.”

She blinked, bored and clearly remembering the many times this has happened. “Diplomat, we had a conversation about this already. You know my demands, so if you are seeking a compromise to those, I-”

“We are willing to give up private pictures of Ducky Dodgers and provide you with a permanent phone number to keep track of her.”

More like harass her more, but that wasn’t a business I gave an actual fuck about. At the very least, it was a ridiculously small price to pay to kill any chance of war between us.

And it seemed to work as the Queen, from lazily leaning on the side and glancing for any sight of her ‘favorite heroine’, she shifted to sit straight up and ‘smile’ at the news.

The boobs’ jiggle really made it difficult to stare at her lipless face, but I have done this before and I was able to keep my eyes where I wasn’t going to get caught in a criminal offense.

“Then I suppose we can properly chat about peace. How about this weekend, Diplomat?”

And now she sounded like a schoolgirl with a crush.

I wouldn’t really blame anyone for their tastes, but it was a bit disgusting to imagine the sort of life one would have by being the actual ‘lover’ of that clumsy duck.

Nonetheless, it helped Earth in striking a big deal without having to sacrifice any national interest beyond the privacy of an already ‘public’ individual within the Galactic reaches of the planet.

Once the dates were accorded, I proceeded to march up to the VIP area, taking the most distant area from the main spots where other diplomats and counselors were chatting actively about a ‘longer peace’.

Away from trouble, away from rumors but… not away enough to catch a glimpse of Ducky Dodgers herself strutting about and causing a few scenes here and there. At first, it wasn’t anything that I couldn’t handle as I could just look away, but I started to impatiently drink more. And the drunker I would get, the more I would feel it difficult to not scowl at the bitch.

At some point, someone else sat at the table. I was trying my hardest to not think of that duck. She didn’t have any redeeming qualities between the many crimes she committed ‘in the name of good’, and while I wasn’t here to be a moral beacon of hope, I was also outrageously upset at the thought of someone thinking that she could be ‘girlfriend/wife material’ when-

“She is so… gorgeous,” The feminine voice that had settled on the side commented, and my thoughts perished momentarily.

Gods, not another one…

The dreamy tone was just sickening to my ears and mind. I could get people’s awe at the actions of that lucky bitch, but to actually find her ‘attractive’ was now a stretch.

I didn’t even regard the new voice with a glance, the ever-filling glass far more interesting than the lady. Yet, I couldn’t hold back from handing out a remark on this breathless comment.

“If you want to have the full bundle of trouble, then sure.”

I thought that it should have been the end of it, but I underestimated the admiration this one had for Ducky.

“Whatever you mean? She is a resourceful adventurer of Earth.”

I shrugged. “Who is known to many as someone that has stolen pills to improve her biology, messed up diplomatic situations and even tries to appear like this sort of charming individual when in truth she is a pathological liar.”

…

“So, you on Earth slander her? Even thought she has gone through great lengths to protect it?!”

“It’s not about demeaning her deeds, but more like understanding that just because one is a hero, that doesn’t make them untouchable by criticism. She did many great things, but she is far from a pristine clean sort of agent. She has many irregularities in her record, came close to being court-martialed a few times, and her cadet has done a lot to keep her from messing up some of the good deeds.”

Sadly for me, my current word-sparring partner was not keen to just take that as a response. Especially since we were both getting progressively drunker by the minute. It got so incredibly weird that in the end, she turned it into a competition between me and Ducky.

As a man with some pride, I felt demeaned to be told I was ‘inferior’ to the troublesome agent, and things escalated until sparks started to fly. Just not of the violent kind.

I just remember us both stumbling about, her face mostly hidden but I recognized the classic pitch-black skin that was a major trait in Martians. Her sensual curves further made me confident this was one of the handmaidens to the Queen that had snuck out to have some fun.

And then, as we were both in her big bedroom. I was surprised by the size of it, quite unexpected for a mere Handmaiden to have but… but I was too drunk to ponder more on the sight. I just remembered the woman removing all her clothes, settling on the bed and spreading her legs to reveal her eager flower.

“T-Then show me. Show me th-that you are better than her. If you fail to please me, then I will- Hm~!”

I was too high on Liquid Courage to let her finish that sentence. Being told I was going to fail to please a woman with some cunnilingus when compared to a frigging duck was a bit of the last straw to me as I decided to do more acting and less talking.

As my mouth landed on her slit, I could tell the woman was not prepared for that boldness. Yet her legs wrapped around my head, a slutty moan erupting from her as I ruthlessly licked her pussy happily. I teased her clit in particular, stimulating her to squirt a few times before actively smooching that whorish cavern of her.

She was utterly writhing in pleasure by the time her legs allowed me to lean back. I couldn’t see her face but I could tell she was outrageously delighted of having her sexual urges satisfied. A gorgeous woman, a woman that I was making mine one step at the time.

Twitching instinctively as I readied my cock and slapped it by her pubic area, the Martian lady didn’t say much at first, and I found it to be a bit ‘disrespectful’.

“So, my lady, do you want to get fucked today or not?”

“I…” Her voice twitched in her throat, a mix of embarrassment and eagerness mixing together in quite the cute reaction. “I-I wouldn’t mind it~.”

With the green light granted, I lined up the shaft and stabbed forward. Her head jumped back, a moan muffled by her hands as I proceeded to pound her without any mercy.

In a non-drunk instance, I would have been more of a caring lover, but this slut- this unnerving whore had been belittling me by comparing me to that lucky bitch for far long and my brain was too drunk to handle that sort of prodding.

So, I gave her the full taste course of a hard dicking session.The bed started to shake a bit as I relentlessly stretched her tight pussy, the thing squeezing and milking me as I bred that hole of hers into a cozy fit for my cock.

The bitch moaned and begged for me to be even rougher, and a slap on her round read had her revved up to be pounded a few more rounds. Despite the intense fucking, the slutty Martian asked for a pause and I gave her a few minutes to rest.

I would have granted her some more, but… fuck, her ass was so juicy-looking as she turned belly down to rest on her pillow. The tempting sight was magnified by the spotting of a bottle of lube beside the bed. One of those lotions specifically sold to make anal play a feasible thing.

So, this bitch is naughtier than I thought~.

The Martian woman almost jumped as I gave her ass a slap, but I didn’t give a chance to shift much because I was sitting right on her legs, the bottle already pouring some lotion on her asscrack.

“Y-You want to continue?”

I frowned. “Yeah, why? Did you think I was going to stop?”

“I-I thought humans… humans were, you know-”

“Less durable?”

“Y-Yes,” The woman replied quietly, sounding very cute right now as I started to spread the lotion on her cheeks and then prod her anus with my thumb. “C-Can you at least be… gentle? I never had something that big in my butt.”

Most of the angry sex was out of my system, so I shrugged and complied with her request.

“I will be as gentle as it is possible, buttercup. Still, I hope you’re ready.”

My dick was now rubbing within her ass’ folds, the tightness swallowing me easily before I finally got her ready for more funtime. At that point, I had my dick pressing against her wetted hole and slipped inside after some careful penetration.

Inch after inch, I felt her shift and twitch, her face moaning hard against the pillow, making me chuckle at how adorable she looked now despite how much of a bitch she truly was.

Once I was fully holstered inside her, I leaned closer and asked her a simple question.

“So… I am now better than Ducky?”

As I mentioned her ‘idol’, I felt her ass tightening a lot, rendering it the best hole I had ever penetrated as my cock was getting pleasured by this smaller cave of hers.

“Y-You… You are.”

“I am sorry, I didn’t catch that,” I hummed, squeezing her ass some more. “Am I better than Ducky Dodgers, slut?”

“You are. You are so much better!” She admitted loudly. “She- She never paid attention to me, always avoiding me- I need a male to mate! A king to worship~!”

“Huh-Huh,” I mumbled, ignoring the ‘king’ bit as I thought it was drunk-boasting. “Then, let me claim you properly, you sexy beast.”

I kissed her neck as I slowly thrusted in and out of her butt, her body appreciating the teasing as she weakly allowed herself to be pounded into a happier slut. Her ass was soon loose enough to speed up the pace and make her sweat and squirt like crazy as it had been when I had mated with her lecherous cunt.

The entire process went on for a few more hours, with a few breaks here and there. Yet, the end unfolded around the first hour of the morning. We were both depleted of any strength and soon went to sleep cuddling with one another.

“Luv you,” She slurred weakly before falling asleep, and yet I couldn’t answer with how tiring it had been.

A good display of sexual prowess in my mind but…

Not one without a few issues.

The mind-splitting migraine I got as morning unfolded felt like a good counter-balance to the mind-blowing sex I had, but it wasn’t the only one. As I moved to assess the situation I was stuck with, I realized that there were a few worries to keep in mind.

First, I had ruled out the bitch I had dominated was actually a mere handmaiden. The room was too rich for it to be owned by a servant. And as I turned to stare at my lover of the previous night, I noticed she was quite awake and that-

That she was Queen Tyr’ahnee. And she looked absolutely happy at seeing me awake.

“Good morning, my king~.”

—-------d-d-d-d—-------

Tyr’ahnee had a plan for the night.

Seduce Ducky Dodgers, bed her, and make her either her queen or concubine.

A simple plan, but one that she could shift to work through her servants and the general good qualities of the Martian brew of alcohol that was served. Aphrodisiac to some extent if ingested in large quantities, the beverage should have made Ducky aroused enough for the Queen to charm and led to bed.

What she didn’t expect was for her plan to fail so successfully.

After all, what were the odds that the clever diplomat from Earth was actually a wonderful lover in bed? Actually, how did a spar of words as vitriolic and intense about the good and bad traits of Ducky Dodgers escalate to the point where the Queen challenged humans to show his good traits as a bedfellow?

Normally that wouldn’t be the outcome, but stress and booze can be a rather unpredictable combination when it comes to the handling of businesses such as this one. And with the human pleasing her before giving her a cumful reason to accept him as her lover, Tyr’ahnee felt that she had burned herself after so many years of failed efforts to secure Ducky.

As someone that had already experienced sex, the Queen thought she had seen enough to make that call, but when both her pussy and ass were filled with so much jizz, it became impossible for her to not accept him as her mate.

The diplomat had been fully entranced by the alcohol, but so had been the queen. The boost given by the exotic brew was enough to give them both one of the best nights of their whole lives.

The Queen had no regret. It had been the best way possible to realize one thing- she could no longer trail after Ducky Dodgers. Not when the duck refused her, made her life tedious and… and not when she couldn’t match in sexual effort to her current king.

Albeit it was going to be a pain in the butt to convince the court that a king of human descent was needed, perhaps arguing over the risks of having overly-ambitious Martians of the military kind could subvert most of the protest. Especially with the events caused by General Z-9 still fresh in the mind of most martians.

It was going to be a fight nonetheless, but one that she was willing to go through for the sake of ending this troublesome succession crisis.

At least the frustrating suitors will catch a hint for good.

As the morning started and Tyr’ahnee fought back an annoying headache, she was pleasantly surprised to realize she had woken up before her future husband. The new king of Mars was slumbering peacefully, and the Queen was caught inwardly smiling at the sight of her lover’s handsome visage.

She reached out, caressing a few locks of hair away and then slipping her fingers down to his mouth. Lovable lips, hers and hers only. Her touching, however, stirred her lover awake and she took precautions.

After all, if she was to go by the logic that humans were meant to feel more the brews of Mars, he was not going to be in a good state of mind due to the migraine he may go through. And as she saw him flinch and massage his forehead while awakening, the Queen calmly waited for him to open his eyes and greet him.

“Good morning, my king~.”

Surprise and shock flashed all at once, the young man appearing baffled by her nude sight, clearly mesmerized, but perhaps stunned by a lack of recollection of the previous night.

“We… We did a lot yesterday,” He mumbled, and she held back from giggling.

“We sure did, dear diplomat. Are you familiar with the laws of Mars in regard to mating and marriage?”

“...I am not truly aware of those, no,” He admitted softly, sounding so helpless in that moment.

Tyr’ahnee forgave him since she doubted he was expected to know such a rule in his previous role. Still, she gave her a proper explanation.

“When a female is best in a competition, the choice of such competition dictated by both parties, then she will become the mate and wife of the victor. Which is you by your victorious claim of my body.”

“W-Would that really count as a competition? I am not- not really opposed to this, but-”

“It’s unorthodox, but it would count, I am afraid,” She repeated with an amused tone. “Still, my king, I shall not rush you to the chores just yet. A peace has to be signed, after all, and yet you can’t represent Earth anymore.”

He bowed his head. “I cannot.”

It looked like he was pained by the development, and Tyr’ahnee felt like reaching out to console him. Yet, she stopped from doing this as she realized it would be too extensive for her to claim as a right and a prerogative.

They just mated, he was clearly recoiling from the alcohol, and there was no way that she was going to get a good outcome with all those negative factors to keep in mind.

So, instead, she decided to go for the second best option.

“I shall go and take a bath. I will leave you to your thoughts but I would like for you to clean yourself once you are ready to leave bed, my beloved,” She softly suggested while slipping out of the bed. “I will try to make this work, for you and our people.”

There was a strange conflicting look on his face, and he looked ready to say something but… nothing came from his lips. He just stood there, looking away and pondering more on the situation.

As soon as she was done putting on a robe over her nude frame, Tyr’ahnee walked out of the bedroom and she sighed as she strolled to the royal baths to get rid of the sweat that had stained her smooth and precious skin.

Even though it was traditional for the right to bathe here was conceded only to the Queen and rarely to others, Tyr’ahnee had long waived the rule to allow her Handmaidens to claim some peace and freedom compared to the cramped baths designed for the other servants in the castle.

So, when she entered inside and ditched her robe, she was greeted by several female Martians in different stages of undressing. Some had finished and were merely chatting with fellow handmaidens with towels wrapped around them, others were actually still washing.

Yet, the usual duo of pink-haired handmaidens that were keen to help her bathe were waiting just there for her to sit between them. All servants bowed cordially, but these two were quite vocal about it.

“My queen, good day to you. And you look so radiant!”

“You are glowing, your highness!” The other chirped. “Did you succeed in your efforts, my lady? Did you claim the elusive Ducky?”

“I am afraid that it ended in a failure,” She calmly replied, surprising them and the rest of the handmaiden with her lack of irritation at the topic.

That sort of failure should have led to a bad mood for the Queen, but it was clear this was no longer the case for some unknown reasons to them.

“Is that so?” One of the pinkettes hummed, her hands cupping the closest breasts to tease and wash it, the other hand resting above her rear. “Can we do something to please you, then?”

“I will allow some touching but… I am quite spent from yesterday.”

The queen’s words further intrigued the handmaidens as they were pushed to ask for more of that juicy situation.

“Truly? And what would have happened to…” The other pinkette actually paused as her hand had boldly slipped between Tyr’ahnee’s legs and found out that something odd was spilling from her royal flower.

Retreating her sticky fingers, the bold handmaiden had wide eyes at the white goo now on her digits.

“Y-Your grace, is this-”

“Your new king’s seed,” The Queen answered without hesitation. “And yes, I have accepted to be claimed by the King.”

Any resemblance of peace was gone as the handmaidens swarmed her with questions. She couldn’t blame them for their curiosity and barely veiled lust, yet she asserted her control of the situation by demanding silence.

From there, Tyr’ahnee gave them some details about their king. They were already familiar with the ‘cute diplomat’ as some of them had already called him in the past, and yet they were all stunned that the queen, one that had deemed him many times an annoyance, had actually accepted him as her lover.

Once she was done bathing, she got to her office and summoned the various administrators to provide the news. They were all loyalists, so she was quite at ease to deliver these developments. Some were stunned, others asked if it wasn’t too hasty but they were reminded that the law was the law and-

“Y-Your majesty!” One of the guards came barging into the office carrying what looked to be a letter. “The- The king has escaped Mars on a ship! He left behind a note!”

The pressure within the room was raised solely by Tyr’ahnee’s temper. Had it been Ducky Dodgers, the Queen would have been more at ease in handling this sort of news. She would have been angry and moody, that was a taken, yet it wouldn’t have gone beyond a rant and some controlled destruction of property.

But this situation went beyond that as this felt like a betrayal of the worst kind, especially with the memories of the previous night so well-impressed within her mind. She felt those burn within her head, all due to the fire that was her vengeful soul.

This time she had been left by her husband, the one she was eager to parade as the one that dominated her and became the most important figure on Mars. He had left her, he had decided to not stay on the planet. He had decided she was not worth it.

Wrath erupted within the most vicious of scowls, but rather than just jump to press the button to start a war on Earth for this outrageous and humiliating shame she now bore to her name, Tyr’ahnee focused her attention on the feeble document the guard was holding for her to claim.

“GIVE IT TO ME!” She snapped, the paper soon in her hands as she gave it the most murderous glare she could muster.

Yet, she was caught off-guard by the content of the letter as she didn’t expect it to bear answers to many furious questions in her mind.

The vicious wrath of the scorned queen was brought to a halt as she started to read the message. Her glare softened, her shoulders sagging and her eagerness from war soon vanished as she was done reading.

The others were stunned by this absurd mood swing, but remained quiet as they waited for a reaction that could give any clue on the content of the message. Some of them had expected something about it to linger, but they actually saw the queen giggle as she was done reading the message.

In their minds, they would have thought the usually prideful Tyr’ahnee would have been still angry at her ‘human lover’ for this betrayal, but as she was done reading the ruler turned to them with a confident look.

“We will not invade Earth,” The Queen muttered calmly, the few earnest warhawks within her command looking surprised. “The Peace Deals shall go as intended, but we will ask Earth to send new diplomats. Alas, our escaped king will be caught in due time.”

The way she decided to answer this crisis was well-beyond expectations. It took some of them a few minutes to recoil, but the main consensus was to understand what their ‘King’ had written to their Queen to get her to calm down so extensively.

“B-But, your highness-”

“It’s my decision, General Z-2,” The ruler rebuked the short officer. “I want you to be mindful of the fact that the King has reasons, albeit none of which would technically justify this unexpected move. I shall punish him accordingly, but I don’t fault him to some extent.”

“And what would it be?” One of the other officers asked, the Queen giving him a glare and suppressing him for this informal asking.

“None of your business, mongrel,” The Queen answered, sounding a mix of protective and irritated.

She muttered something else as quietly as possible about ‘dumb husbands’, then sparing the letter one last glance before crumpling it into a ball and taking it back to her bedroom to be preserved away from the eyes of others.

And while the content of such a message would remain unnoticed for long, some of the guards could have sworn to have read on the last lines something about… ‘I love you too’ and what appeared to be a ship number.

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AN

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