Lines and Twists 1 (Patreon)

Lines and Twists - or ‘Surprisingly enough, Furry America is less problematic’ (Jay Naylor's Furry Comics, Human!SI)

Ah yes, my first trip to the USA.

A big experience, one that, despite the numerous reasons to not go through between social issues and high criminality rate, I decided to go through for the sake of ‘Yolo’. I wouldn’t say I was a reckless traveler, the amount of crap I had with me for this trip was actually excessive in the eyes of seasoned travelers from my hometown.

But I knew myself, and my anxiety. So I felt it was just the sufficient amount for a week long trip.

…

So, how come I ended up leaving the airport with two more bags?

Actually, I think I need to be more precise on some ‘issues’ I found as I went to sleep mid-flight and woke up with some details I couldn’t exactly ignore. Such as the fact that half of the human population seems to have gone animal anthro while I was slumbering.

I have no fucking clue how it happened, or why. I just woke up to this, I also woke up to find out that I had booked for a proper house and not a flat. And that most of my stuff was already there. And my job had been ‘relocated’ to where I was now living.

…

I also was recognized as an US Citizen, with no mention of what was up with my family. I quickly called home, but I was surprised and immensely relieved when I was greeted by my parents as they congratulated me for landing myself an opportunity to go and live in the US.

…

“What the fuck?” Was the most reasonable reaction to this shit. And I was lucky that it came out while I was resting the bags on my couch, in a living room that I was completely unfamiliar with.

It took me roughly an hour to fully go through the jet-lag and whatever weird feeling I had about having so many things happening all at once. Even more when I realized that the two extra bags were packed with some antique stuff I had to ‘sell out’ after we found those in an old family property. I had to do it. To make a lot of cash out of it.

“So, what the hell is going on?” I muttered to myself, frowning and glaring at the ceiling.

Something had happened. Something I was given no warning about. And as I browsed the local channels through my TV, I was surprised to see that, albeit still a crappy place, things weren’t as bad as they should be. Less shootouts, less political talking… less problems!

That was quite a surprising good thing from trading off half of humanity for legit furred people. Still, my peaceful thinking was interrupted by a rather unexpected noise: gunshots.

I had heard some in the countryside, away from where my grandparents lived. So, I recognized the kind of noise, but I kind of jumped when I realized how close it was to the house.

Perhaps it was curiosity that led me to check by the window what was going on and… seeing a slim and slightly athletic otter woman with red hair, green eyes that was in her panties and wielding what looked to be an assault rifle and staring at a few wrecked targets while smoking a cigar over the good results.

…

The Second Amendment is truly strong here, uh?

Shaking my head, I decided to walk back to my couch and think on what to do about this whole situation. Staying put felt like a smart move. Get on the PC, look more on the general situation, draw conclusions and… Well, play ‘turtle’ until I get some clue on what happened and the reasons leading to this situation.

It was a smart idea, but I realized it was also one that was ‘least’ riskier and the least pressing of it all. The other option had to eventually happen. Specifically, I had to go out and get a proper grasp of the city I was living in. I had to work at the local supermarket, so I got myself ready to know I had to do this. Either I did it now, or I waited until I was ‘fine’.

…

The intrusive thought won as I really didn’t want to deal with this shit at a later date. So, after setting my stuff down in a more orderly fashion, I decided to be a man and face the real world. I did what many fellow gamers would never dare to accomplish: I went to touch the grass and more!

As I started to pace without any major physical burden minus a bag to keep stuff I planned to buy (such as a map as this place was nothing like I had expected or imagined).

Walking around, I found nothing worthy of perplexity. Beyond the fact that people were wearing less than I was. Not for lewd reasons, after all the fur was meant to amount to a layer of warm protection from the cold.

So, I didn’t exactly feel weird at seeing people around with less clothes. The real surprise was handling so many animal-like entities left and right, and behaving as if this was a common sight for me.

I finally slipped inside the supermarket, relieved to find out the owner was an old human man that was talking with two ladies of the furred kind. One was a Snow Leopard girl with white hair and blue eyes, a softie at first glance. The other was a raccoon with black hair and brown eyes.

Both were wearing similar enough outfits of the kind women would wear when going for a fitness activity that involved stretching as both wielded yoga pants with holes meant for their tails.

The main difference I could notice by going by regular appearance standards was that the former was bustier and somewhat curvier, while the huffing and puffing trash panda had a perkier butt.

I was about to let these three sort out what was going on as there seem to have been a degree of disgruntlement when-

“Oh, John! You are here earlier!” The owner greeted, surprising me while also aiming the full attention of the duo in my general direction. “Please, come here. I need your help.”

…The fuck? I was about to ask what was up, but I realized that this guy… I have seen pictures before of him at home. But he should be dead. Yet, Grunkle Frank ‘of America’ was still alive from the looks of it.

Another strange change, but I still conceded to the request as I approached.

“Picciotto, could you please give me a hand here as the ladies need a few bottles of shampoo? The box is up there and I am in no condition to get it.”

It was in the upper section of the aisle, far too deep for someone to pick it up without some assistance. I nodded at Grunkle Frank, barely paying attention at the girls as they just appeared hopeful as I vanished into the storage area to pick up a ladder and then moved to shift the box closer to the edge.

Soon, I carefully picked a part of the large bundle and… as I was putting it to the lower section so the girls could have taken the bottles they needed, I noticed that the duo was still chatting with Grunkle.

Actually, Grunkle was the one initiating the conversation, but he was quite unaware the duo was doing something I was partly sure was aimed at me. The raccoon girl had one of her hands shift around the snow leopard girl’s rear, lowering a bit of her yoga pants so she could grasp and squeeze at that fluffy big butt of hers.

I caught myself from the sight, knowing better than getting distracted mid-work in a situation like that. Once I was setting the box down and was back on the ground, I managed to ogle a bit more, but Grunkle was quick to see I was done.

“Look, my grandnephew is done there. You can get the bottles so we can finish this lovely transaction.”

The Snow Leopard took charge, clearly flustered by the butt-groping and even more when she realized I had to have gotten a sight of that situation. She was blushing so much I could see it through her fur.

The Raccoon didn’t look that unnerved by this, merely lamenting how much they had to pick in terms of shampoo. Something about ‘someone having too much fur for her liking’ as she was seemingly ‘blaming herself’ about it.

As the whole ordeal was over and I was planning to get more info through Grunkle’s own presence here, I was surprised to notice the raccoon girl leaning a bit too close for my liking as the two girls were leaning.

She was slightly unfocused, almost slamming onto me as her nose seemed aimed at my arm or around it. Then she directed herself out, shaking her head and saying something about ‘not being weird’.

Which was very weird and… this place is quite a strange place. Almost bizarre even…

—-------d-d-d-d—------

AN

John’s situation is quite interesting. People are quite horni around, but his neighbor is a bit of a ‘horni/deadly’ sort of bundle. Especially with someone with the name Bukharin.

Still, this is set in Jay Naylor’s comics. I would say the ‘modern day version’ and with pieces from all those (because there’s a few of those with different rules). I have yet to fully dig into the source material, but I am willing to give it a shot. And who knows, maybe John will find the lucky one for himself in this particular world.