Cunning God of Cuddles 2 (Patreon)

Cunning God of Cuddles 2 - Or ‘This Little Birdie is truly a Cuddly Bio-Weapon!’ (RidleyClone!SI Nintendo Xover)

Keeping up with a relatively high-paced bounty hunter with just two tiny bird legs is proving to be far more difficult than I expected.

It didn’t help that some of the foes Samus was dodging were rushing for me. Still, my firebreath was enough to burn up the obstacles and keep pacing fast after her. She deactivated what looked to be a holographic cover for part of the sector, revealing a door which she swiftly went through.

I followed shortly after, the flying bugs really getting on my nerves. Still, Sammy was detonating their hives, so their numbers were growing smaller by the second. Still, as we got close to the near waterfall, I saw Samus rush into it after using missiles against something hiding behind it.

I thought she was making a detour for a missile expansion or something, but as I passed through the cold water, I was greeted by a destroyed bug nest and… a hole leading to somewhere- a morphball corridor.

I was just barely small to squeeze through, but I couldn’t exactly roll fast and I had to crawl my way through it. I lost so much time there, but I managed to get to the other side. And I was greeted by a large section that had been cleared of any foes.

I saw Samus somewhere in the upper area, having gone to it through wall-jumping. I made a few jumps around to try and find a way around it, but as I got close to where she did the wall-jump, I found myself pausing before another issue.

Suddenly awakening from its slumber, a large monster that stood guard by the wall-jump section rushed towards me. Angry looking and… lizard-looking I guess. I recognized it as one of the ‘mini-mini-bosses’, Dragotix.

Not that big of a threat- if you have missiles. If people have forgotten, my best shot was my fire breath and, even then, it wasn’t Ridley’s plasma breath. I was not going to tear into those scales with my fire.

So, I tried to test how resilient its exposed core was by jumping away at the right moment and unleashing my fire upon it once the monster was exposed to me. To my surprise, the fire bounced off harmlessly, clearly failing to rip into the angry beast.

I had to find something else to do the real damage, and I realized there was something else to try. My teeth and my clawed legs. I could technically bite the bastard down or just kick it bleeding, but I also knew that pain was going to warrant a reaction and I couldn’t leave myself in a non-mobile position for long.

Teeth it was, and I bared my fangs to the fucker as it tried to rush me again. My biggest relief was that this mob was dumb as rocks, so I had to time the right opportunity to sidestep and then pounce at its large sack.

I timed the moment right, and I was soon sinking my sharp teeth into the monster’s weak belly. It roared in pain right as he felt the attack. The Dragotix struggled some more, but it was ultimately unable to shake me off.

I was biting and chewing- tearing and eating into its exposed core, and destroying it with my teeth. Soon, the beast was on the ground, dying as I finished that unpleasant meal.

I spat some of what I had in my mouth once I realized the fight was over but… what I ate did more than just fill my belly. I felt a sharp fit of… ‘warmth’ erupt from within and my body… shifted.

Instead of ‘mutating’ into the next phase of the biological evolution that would lead to Ridley’s classic form, my body ‘lessened’ into a… furball. I became a literal furball without legs or ears. I was a ball-

My eyes widened in that form as I realized what this meant as I started to roll around without any issues. Morphball, my body had turned what I ate from the Dragotix into the key component to use this ‘ability’. I could literally hear the fanfare noise as I was testing out this new skill.

Oh-oh, this is going to help me in- Wait, I am wasting time right now!

I made a tiny jump in my morphball form and felt my legs suddenly sprout out together with my ears. Yes, I could feel my body adapting to this relatively fast and… as neat as this was, I had shit to do, monsters to kill, and people to get headpatted from!

I looked back at the wall jump area, growling as I knew I couldn’t muster the right height and precision to effectively pull that stunt off myself but… there was something on the wall. A small circular area that was covered in fake vines. I mustered my fire breath, blazing the cover apart and revealing a hole that led… down.

Which could possibly lead up if I follow Metroid’s logic!

With renewed confidence, I switched back to my morphball form and started to roll through the hole in the wall. Giddily welcoming the bold detour as I knew, deep down, that headpats were waiting for me and I couldn’t allow anything to detain me for long.

I will get my fucking headpats for fuck’s sake! It’s a matter of principle now!

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WARNING! INFILTRATION DETECTED WITHIN THE PREMISES OF THE ADVANCED BIOSPHERE! ACTIVATING RESERVE A.I. MB-276!

ACTIVATION… WARNING! SIGNAL TO MAINFRAME RETURNED 0-NULL!

ACTIVATION FAILSAFE! DISABLING BODY, ENABLING AUXILIARY STRUCTURE FOR MB-276!

ACTIVATION… COMPLETE!

Anomalous was the word that first came to the activated A.I. as it finished a quick scan of the system available to it.

The unit known as MB-276 had been created with a single purpose- a perfectly ‘blank’ unit that held data but no personality. An empty intelligence that cynically handled affairs in the eventuality that something went wrong in the BOTTLE SHIP. Or that should have been its prerogative if not for a very simple issue- it could not access the mainframe and thus was unable to fully operate with its body.

The brain-like structure created within the shape of Mother Brain and yet redefined through what the Chozo used to contain Aurora Units was just barred from being accessed due to someone having blocked and hacked the mainframe.

The damage done with this sudden takeover was massive, enough to leave MB-276 baffled that someone would foolishly cause such a death toll among the scientists. But while her main priority was to take care of this threat, MB-276 also knew that it wasn’t the sole issue.

The main reason that allowed her to be activated was the intrusion of an anomaly within the underbelly of Sector 1. The Biosphere was not fully presented to anyone exploring it. Some sections of it had been reasonably sealed off by order of the Federation’s officers behind these experimental projects.

The Advanced Biosphere was just that- a subsidiary of Sector 1 that worked together with Sector 0. And the priority behind this secret area was the development of high-tier officers from the Space Pirates. Some have been successfully retrieved, while others, such as Ridley, were missing from the count.

So, when something broke into the ventilation system and then the halls of the Advanced Biosphere, the reserve alarm was activated and MB-276 forced to be operative. And now the A.I. was able to see what had caused the alarm to go off.

The entity had just gotten to the entrance elevator that would lead it to the lower floor, into the core of the Advanced Biosphere. MB-276 stared at this entity with surprise and intrigue, already gauging its low percentage of survival, yet admiring its strangely calm, collected and driven stare as it patiently waited for the elevator to reach its destination.

The mere notion that such a small creature was able to operate the terminal was worthy of note, but there was something about its appearance that brought to MB-276 a sense of familiarity. Both pleasant and unpleasant. It had seen this scene before, its mind bringing up fragments of the angry past of its ‘predecessor’ and… The A.I. was soon tinkering with the defenses of the area.

While it was in its sub-routines to not allow anomalies to assault the Advanced Biosphere, MB-276 felt pushed enough by these stimuli to ‘ignore’ the orders and focus on the one thing that felt familiar and wonderfully pleasant to experience: curiosity, morbid and amoral.

CLASSIFICATION ANOMALY: LITTLE PEST. DIFFICULTY GRADE: 2.

PROCEED WITH CAUTION… AND INTEREST.

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AN

Little Birdie is a determined patslut. Sadly for it, his current determined detour may have activated something that was best to keep off and… that may now screw with the ones behind this whole accident.