Mr. Bukharin's NEET Dragon 1 (Patreon)

Mr. Bukharin's NEET Dragon - or ‘I like Peace, so I will become the finest Human NEET in history!' (Miss Kobayashi's Maid Dragon SI)

In the Dragon World, there are three major rules that no one tend to disobey without due reason:

1- Do not cause a war with Humans;

2- Be respectful of the Gods and worship them with true faith in them;

3- If Tiamat says she doesn’t give a fuck about factionalism, there is a damn good reason to not piss her off with unwarranted invitation.

Because yes, Tiamat, the most infamous dragon in that realm of existence, was not up and willing to be yanked in the ‘Chaos’ and ‘Harmony’ factions. Why? Well, she doesn’t like to fight with people she nurtured into being smart adults. Sure, she didn’t do a lot compared to other ‘mother Dragons’, but that didn’t mean she was to be treated as some sort of ‘ace in the sleeve’ for either of these two troublesome groups to fight for her.

After all, Tiamat was someone that aspired for a happy life of Eating and Sleeping. Nothing more, nothing less. Well, except the small actions revolving around Eating and Sleeping- she was still a living being with a digestive system that required ‘crappin n poopin’ from time to time but-

“CAN YOU NOT SHOUT IN FRONT OF MY LOVELY LAIR!?!”

Many had the displeasure of meeting the ferocious dragon that was known to have ‘allowed’ Humanity to prosper. Some hated her for it, but many were glad that she had taken such a big step into peace.

What many didn’t know was that Tiamat was someone that did the many deeds she was praised and hated for out of a very selfish reason- food. Humans were good cooks, and many Dragons were too hooked to bland stuff to understand the true meaning of good cuisine.

Tiamat’s love for Humans stemmed from the worship through delicacies that they first delivered when they encountered her. A small group just started to think of her as a deity, which was a bit preposterous considering how the truth in the Dragon World was, but the food made her less inclined to… ‘correct them’.

And from a mere worship case within misunderstanding and laziness, Tiamat developed a hobby in eating good food.

So, taking this gluttonous reason into consideration and coupling with the never-ending whining from many lesser dragons to join either of the active factions and the news that some of the Chaos Dragons had found ‘a new life’ in the human world… Tiamat had one thing to think and then proceed to do.

“I AM LEAVING BECAUSE YOU ALL BORE ME! YOU ALL ANNOY ME WITH ALL THIS WHINING ABOUT WARRING AND BICKERING! YOU LITERALLY EXPECT ME TO BE SOME SORT OF DIVINE RETRIBUTION AGAINST THE OTHER FACTION, BUT I JUST WANT TO ENJOY MY PEACE. SO, EAT POOP, I AM OUT OF HERE!”

That was an unquestionable decree and one that, despite the protests, could not be stopped. Tiamat just took off and left. Her lair was fully stripped of all sorts of items and treasures she hoarded through her long existence.

A great disturbance, but one that Tiamat happily ignored as she rushed to her destination to quickly hide away her known appearance. It wasn’t the first time she visited the human realm, that much anyone knew, but none of the Dragons had ever seen her human disguise.

It took her centuries to fully master the ideal form. Long white hair which was as pristine as her pretty scales and cloudy fluff, piercing blue eyes that were mellowed into sweet sapphires, and curves meant to entice beauty without being too excessive in their manifestation.

Likewise, she had long managed to ‘remove’ horns, wings and tail from the form to prevent anyone from calling her Satan or Lucifer. That turn of events still shook her to the core- as if she could ever consider welcoming lawyers in her humble abode which was not Hell!

So, here she was… eye candy for humans, and someone with high chances to score a couch to live the rest of her life on.

Not in Japan- not when there was an active group getting monitored there. No, she picked the one place that no one would expect someone like her to go- Italy, the Homeland of Pizza!

Soon she conjured a plan to secure herself the glory of NEEThood: Find someone that looked to have a ‘reputable’ aura, then stage a fake case of fainting on the spot, let them take them in their house and then use hypnosis to convince them she was their ‘spoiled girlfriend’. Sounds easy… right?

Well, an issue unfolded. She found someone with an interesting aura. Young man, short brown hair, lovely chocolate-shaded eyes and… a curious smile. Very curious- something about it made her twitch from within.

Now, the trick succeeded early on. Tiamat fainted and the young man rushed to her rescue. He carried her on his back, letting her rest her head on his shoulder and… enjoy a nice ride back to a rather warm and welcoming place.

Food was dispensed. She mentioned she needed a large intake and the human gave her a ‘portion of Risotto’ that his mother gave to him just yesterday. Said portion being enough to fill a large plate and-

Tiamat approved of her new host’s mother’s cooking as she wolfed down the surprisingly delicious meal. It wasn’t fresh at all and it had been ‘holding on’ for a day, but the flavor was amazing and it made her melt before such a wonderful taste.

After eating, it was time to ‘seal the deal’. The spell she used was one she barely tended to conjure, so it took a while to muster it up and… it got deflected. By his glasses.

She didn’t notice this until it was too late as Tiamat decided to give him some tall orders and-

“What? Why would I do that?”

Tiamat paused, then frowned. “W-Wait, you still have free will?”

That was a wrong thing to say as the young man that introduced himself as John Bukharin frowned at her.

“What did you just say?!”

She panicked. “I-I mean, I am not thinking straight, hehe- food is still burning up and my brain is dumb!”

…

“You don’t believe me.”

“I believe you tried to do something and that you’re not

“Look, just… tell me the truth and I will consider letting you stay.”

Her eyes widened with hope. “R-Really?”

John nodded and Tiamat proceeded to hurl at him her background. Her true name, why she was there, why she couldn’t exactly go back and why she needed to find a stable place to live in for the rest of her life.

“Sounds rough and… I am willing to give you a chance to stay here.”

“Yay!”

“At one condition,” The human added, causing the girl to deflate.

“Aww, what is it?” She smiled smugly, trying to regain control through this. “Is it money? Power? Do you seek immortality?”

“...I want to bang you.”

…

…

“Y-You what?”

“I want to lay the Dragon, Tiamat. I want to make sweet love with you because you are a gorgeous woman with big mommy energy and a lovely milkers.”

She shuddered and blushed a storm at that brazen complimenting mixed with his pushy demand. “I-Isn’t that a bit too forward? Are you a pervert?! Wanting to mate with a woman of my age?”

“Maturity is a good trait. Plus… It can be fun~.”

“C-Can it?! Everyone says that but my first time was boring!”

“...You never had sex after your first time?” The question was filled with pity and it irked and coaxed Tiamat to rebuke strongly.

“Why should I? You think you can make it ‘fun’ as you just proclaimed?”

He shrugged. “I am quite sure I can’.”

Tiamat’s curiosity was eventually enough to get persuaded and… there was no regret in her body as she was subjected to the wildest and steamiest pounding of her life. Bride-carried to the young man’s bed, then caringly undressed- Tiamat was given the full-on ‘love-making experience’ by her current host.

By the end of that depraved dragon-breeding that stretched her lonely and wanton pussy, leaving her womb filled with human thick whiteness that would have normally fertilized a normal human woman, Tiamat could say she missed a lot of that sort of lovely attention.

She was a sweaty mess that was more than happy with the ‘cuddling finale’.

“How was that?”

“A-Amazing, sublime! My whole body is on fire! I never- I never thought it could be so good and- and that it could be so nice! It wasn’t too rough and yet not too soft!”

She was beaming at the experience of being fucked silly and happy and-

“So, I suppose you want to go for Round 2 now, right?”

Her smile collapsed a bit at that question. Round 2? As in he wanted to-

“R-Round 2? Wait, you can go for more than just a single ‘Round’?!”

“Well yeah. While I might need a bit of a break before it, I can go for more.”

“M-More?!” While her mind was shaken by this proclamation, her own words were filled with barely-hidden pleasure.

Quite the signal for John to be back to her and plant a soft kiss on her lips. Any doubt was forfeited, she gave up herself to him again and, while this may sound like the beginning of a love story, the truth is that Tiamat…

Made things difficult for herself, her conflicting thoughts, and yet managed to make it all work somehow.

—------d-d-d-d—-------

AN

Tiamat has four known phases: 1) Serious Dragon; 2) Airheaded moron; 3) Food-slut; 4) Horny Enjoyer of the Wholesome Love-making kind.

Eventually others in the series will know of her situation and… it’s going to be amusing~.