Weekly Update - 6-12-2021 (Status update) (Patreon)

Hey everybody. Gonna be another small one this week, and not as exciting as I hoped it would be last week; BUT there is good news, with hopefully more coming on the horizon!

So first off, for work I continued to work on stuff outside of the game, mostly writing; I've been struggling most with opening the engine and actually programming/implementing things, but writing has been a little easier to get myself to do, so I'm letting my focus stay there for the time. The Azulisk CG script is nearly done, and I have a few cutscenes/gameplay dialogues written out for v0.45 as well. I'm going to try and have all the conversations I want for v0.45 finished by next weekend, so I can send them to our VAs and give them plenty of time to record.

Aside from me, Orex finished up the final Edovex BE H-scene and that's all ready for implementation now. He'll be starting work on more H-scenes now, since we still have plenty to update or improve. Red is waiting on me to finalize the Azulisk script so he can finish the related CG, so I'll be trying to finish that up first thing this next week.

For a more personal update: last week I mentioned I had a doctor's visit scheduled for this week, but I wasn't entirely sure what to expect out of it. Unfortunately, it did end up being a pretty basic visit; the doctor I saw wasn't one of their behavioral health specialists, so the visit ended up being more of a general thing and getting care started, since I also had some physical health concerns to bring up in addition to my mental health issues. I'll be getting an appointment scheduled with one of their mental health specialists soon, and they estimated 1-2 weeks for that, but I'll find out an exact day soon.

Despite the appointment being less of a decisive thing than I had hoped, I'm not surprised by it, and it was a positive experience overall; I've met with some doctors in the past who seemed in a hurry to get me out of the door and didn't really give a shit, and I didn't get that vibe this time. Everyone was very kind, and it seemed like they actually care about their patients, so I think we made a good choice. Despite the lack of forward movement from this one visit (which again was unsurprising, depression and anxiety can't be cured at the drop of a hat), I do honestly feel a little better already - knowing that something is finally happening helps, even if I have to wait a little bit longer. I've already dealt with crippling mental issues for at least half my life, so "a little bit longer" sounds pretty okay compared to the "indefinitely" I was looking at before now.

I'm excited for this next week, I'm still rocky at times but I feel overall more positive right now than I have in the past month at least, and I'm hoping to finally be able to get some good work done. In the meantime though, I know this is yet another low-content update, and I can't stress enough how grateful I am to you all for putting up with it; I hate delivering lackluster updates, but you've all been so overwhelmingly kind and understanding, and it really has helped me not beat myself up too much over this. As much as I wish I could flip a switch and be okay again, mental health doesn't work that way, and you've all given me the space to deal with what has been the worst depressive flareup I've had since my father passed a few years ago, and I truly cannot thank you enough for that. You're the best group of supporters a creator like me could ask for, and if I have any one dominant feeling right now, it's that I can't wait to get better so I can make you guys better stuff than ever before.