Fight-Man Promo Piece (& Complete(ly) Obscure History) (Patreon)

I wish I had a better copy of this, this is a scan of an old xerox copy (I would copy my Bill and Ted and Fight-Man penciled pages when I dropped them off at Marvel -- sometimes the copier wasn't up to snuff). 

So, well, well, look at me trying to draw semi-straightforward superhero stuff back in the day. I couldn't ink for crap back then, I was learning on the job with Pirate Corp$!/Hectic Planet, Milk & Cheese and various pin-ups and strips I did for Amazing Heroes, The Comics Journal, the Epic Light one-shot from Marvel (where the Murder Family started) and a few zines and whatever. I still don't know what I'm doing when it comes to the finer aspects of mainstream comics inking (light sources, feathering, shadows, anatomy and musculature - I'm not great on the fundamentals when I pencil, either, but what the hey). 

This was done before I started the Fight-Man one-shot proper, I don't think I had drawn the cover yet. Marvel would have PR illustrations done for their (quarterly? Monthly --?) project book that would be sent to distributors. There was a big book of upcoming projects that would be sent out somewhere, I recall that, at least -- but this was so long ago the industry still had multiple distributors, so forgive my poor memory (at least in this case).  

Fight-Man started off as a joke I made at a Marvel lunch that I was at, Fabian Nicieza and Kevin Maguire were there, I was doing some shtick about maybe getting Kevin some work on my big deal hit series, about a character named Fight-Man. Kevin asked, "What does he
do?" -- because that's what you did when someone mentioned they came up with a new character, you automatically assumed it was a superhero -- especially with that name -- and you wanted to know their powers. I was at a loss for a reply, because I just made the name up, and I blurted out, "He FIGHTS, man!".  And Kevin laughed. To get the actual joke you have to realize Kevin was one of the top artists in comics at the time and I was an unknown jerk who couldn't draw noses or feet struggling to produce Bill and Ted for the DOA kiddie comic office.

Fight-Man became a running gag in the Bill and Ted comics, and then a running gag with a few people at Marvel like Tom DeFalco and Mark Gruenwald who wanted me to work on some of "the big fist" characters in the Marvel Universe (the "real stuff"). I was flattered but flummoxed, not to mentioned terrified, and just joked about doing a Fight-Man book. As Bill and Ted wrapped up with a twelfth and final issue, Fabian got Tom DeFalco to give me a Fight-Man one-shot. What the heck --? 

So, I wrote and penciled a Fight-Man one-shot, because "one shot is all he needs". And that was all he got, because comics did not care for Fight-Man. It wasn't launched as part of the MCU -- in fact, they rejected my plan to include a number of established C-level villains like The Stilt-Man and The Eel in the big end fight in Delta City. So, there were some shrugs and apologies from folks in the office when the sales numbers came in (it sold in the 30k range, a flop in 1993 I wish I could replicate now) and then I was asked to pitch for an X-Men 2099 series and then a Black Panther 2099 series -- but that's another story for another time (maybe). 

I may have been working on the lowest-selling Marvel comics of the period -- Bill and Ted, Epic Lite, Fight-Man. Back then there was oddball paying work floating around at Marvel and DC and elsewhere, and, boy, do I miss that aspect of 90's comics. It was a lot of fun but really tough for me with my anxieties flaring the entire time (a whole big book about a nobody character by a nobody creator -- sweat, you little bastard, doubt and sweat 18-hrs a day, every day!). But I pushed through, and it got done, albeit not in the way I would have liked. The back pages are rushed, we did not have a colorist who meshed with the art. It's an ugly-looking book on cheap paper with some funny pictures, a bunch of funny character names, some decent gags and bits of violence, and a minor poke at the superhero genre. It was certainly no Marshal Law. But I did my best, and Pam Eklund's inking looked just fine until the unfortunate color choices and printing muddied up the book. I always wished it could be recolored, but, I also wish I could draw like Jaime Hernandez. There are readers who remain fans of the comic, and I still get a little thrill whenever someone has a copy of it for me to sign at a convention.

Ten years later a friend of mine, Andrew Lis, was editing at Marvel, and he asked me to write a few minor things for him. One was a Captain America-related bit that was drawn by Kevin Maguire (!), which was a treat (Kevin didn't remember working on it when I last saw him at a con, ha ha), and I think we did a really nice job on it. Another gig was the Skull and Zemo strip done like a Milk & Cheese comic. And another was to write a two-part fill-in on Agent-X. I didn't know the character, and I was reaching for ideas, so out of desperation I asked him if Agent X could be hired to kill Frank Bigelow, aka Fight-Man, and we could follow up on the character -- who is invulnerable but actually wants Agent X to finish him off. So, that happened.  And it was nice to be "back". At least me and Andy were happy.

The two-parter looked terrific, with art by Juan Bobillo and Marcelo Sosa, colors by Chris Chuckry and lettering by Cory Petit. And I really enjoyed scripting those issues and bringing my obscure goofball character back (and doing so sorta kinda in actual MCU continuity, although I still wasn't allowed to throw the fucking Stilt-Man or anyone else in the story's huge end fight). And even if, as usual, no one noticed what I was doing. 

So, that was the end of Fight-Man, I assumed. Nobody else did anything with himn, referred to him, or used him as a joke victim in one of those kill-off event comics that were prevalent at the time (and still are, I assume). I figured someone like Bendis or whoever would toss him in a panel to get rid of the IP embarrassment like the friggin' Ten Eyed Man getting whacked in Crisis on Infinite Earths. Fight-Man was either not remembered, or not deemed worthy of mutilating. Not even off-panel. 

But! Some time later I got a call from someone at Marvel working on the Handbook of the Marvel Universe update (or whatever it's called). To my surprise (and confusion)they wanted background information on Fight-Man and his villain roster (!?!). I went through my old notes, punched a few things up, and sent them the file. And a lot of it got into the Fight-Man entry. So, for a time, or an era, or an alternate reality, Fight-Man was in the MCU. Which knocked me out. It really did. The thirteen-year old fanboy inside my whatever-age fanman I was at the time was beaming. 

I have to tell you, nobody said nothin', but it was an exciting big deal to me. Fight-Man was "real". Even if just until the next retcon or reboot. Along with The Hooded Eye, The Plug-In Maniac, Blacklung the Malady Man ("He has hands of cancer!"), Illbilly, The Massive Globula, Big Strong Man, Bigger Stronger Man, Biggest Strongest Man, The Shiv, The Polka Doctor, The Able-Bodied Assassin, Radio Head (pre-band), The Plaid Bug, Metalhead, Fisticuff Woman, Slugger, Atomic Lou, Mr. Troublesome, Punchdrunk, Gizmotron, The One-Man Atrocity, Crimeasaurus, Crimeasaurus II, The Roman Candle, Mr. Density, Slap-Happy,   DoctOrangutan and Fight-Man's ex-wife, and Beverly LaCoco (who I was not allowed to christen The Strawberry Bitch -- named after a WW2 plane Sarah's grandfather was a crew member of -- when she gained superpowers). I forget some of them, and did have to look a few of those idiots up. 

Weirdly enough, someone eventually did use my character in another MCU comic. I didn't know about it until months after the comic appeared. Howard Chaykin -- of all people -- used DoctOrangutan -- of all characters -- in some cold war Avengers series. The bad hairy doctor appears in only a few panels, but he's in there. And that meant, again, Fight-Man maybe was "real". For a time, at least. maybe?

Someone in the know told me later on that Chaykin was given the names of characters who would have been around during the cold war that he could use. So, that explains the mystery of "Why does Howard Chaykin know about DoctOrangutan?".

Fight-Man (or DoctOrangutan) has not sullied another panel since. For some strange reason there are no Funko Pops of Fight-Man out there today, let alone The Plug-In Maniac or Crimeasaurus II. But I did sheepishly ask Kurt Busiek if we could drop a reference to the poor guy in the Marvels Snapshot one-shot (one shot is all we get!). And Kurt said, "of course". Aww. 

One last bit of Fight-Man trivia. Shortly after the comic came out in 1993, a production company contacted Marvel about optioning the character for a t.v. series (!). Marvel asked Fabian to ask me to come in for the conference call with them, because, basically, no one else could answer any questions about the character. Nobody at Marvel knew anything about Fight-Man other than the comic sold like hot shitcakes. So, I went to the offices on Park Avenue South, and Fabian and I spoke to "their people" on the speaker phone, and their people explained their great concept. The show would be about two kids who love comics (Fabian and I look at one another). The two kids create the superhero, Fight-Man! (Fabian and I make a really sour fucking face at one another). The show would be a sitcom about these two awkward but likable kids, and sometimes we see what's happening in the Fight-Man comics they make (Fabian and I honest-to-god cover our mouths and try not to laugh). We wrap the call up, yeah, yeah, everything's great, looking forward to talking again, blah blah blah. Fabian hangs up. The laughing begins, there's a lot of bewildered foul language thrown around the room. We both agree that if these people want to make a dumb-ass sitcom and pay to license a Marvel character no one's heard of for no good reason -- holy shit, man, let them. We don't own him. Marvel gets paid, I'd get twelve bucks and maybe another free lunch, and of course, the stupid thing would never get made anyway. This was the era of "Bob", not "Deadpool" (I worked on the "modern" section of the "Bob" tie-in comic, Mad Dog, and my scripts were terrible -- but that's another story for another time. Maybe.)

The company decided not to option Fight-Man, as you may have already guessed. But for a week or two, Fight-Man was in possible play, a character most Marvel staffers probably didn't even know existed. So, that was kind of amazing to be around for. 

It was also my first dealing of any kind with the vaunted optioning process. That's another ten or fifteen stories for another time. Perhaps.

Cover art for the Fight-Man one-shot, which was stolen by the person in charge of returning original art at Marvel at the time. Oh, excuse me, "allegedly" stolen. This person was quietly shown the door, but a number of people never got their work back. And I was really angry to learn there was no reimbursement policy for artwork lost while under Marvel's roof. I've never seen the cover for sale or in anyone's collection. I'd love to get it back someday, as implausible as that seems. It was probably destroyed, like most of my dreams. Sniff.