Thickening Up for Winter (Patreon)

Usually, I’ll warn folks about darker tones before they get invested in a story. Here, I’m going to warn you that the following is the opposite.

What follows is intended to be a continuation of above in what’s supposed to be more of a sweet, supportive interaction between the subject of the image above & her loosely defined partner. Aside from her concerns of further gaining & a brief allusion to doing so mutually, it’s mostly a just conversation between a couple of relative normies.

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“I jus- I- I d-“ Clara stammered at first, a bit flustered. “I don’t want to talk about it!” She managed, sternly after collecting herself with a sigh.

“Alright, I’m… sorry.” Her partner trailed timidly, realizing all too late that this was, perhaps, a very touchy subject for her. Something that must’ve been weighing on her before ever being brought up out of concern.

And while they’d only been together for two other autumns, it wasn’t like she was being entirely dishonest.

Usually, when things start getting chillier, that’s the cue. Clara will start to find she gets a little hungrier. Maybe she goes for seconds at supper, or maybe she’ll just snag a midafternoon snack she wouldn’t be as eager to snag otherwise during warmer seasons. A slight uptick in her daily caloric intake, that’s all. Putting on a few temporary pounds naturally this time of year isn’t something that’s out of the ordinary for her. And while she never seemed all that stoked about it in the past, she had maintained a pretty healthy awareness of it, tending to work out a little extra harder in the spring & usually shedding it by beach season.

But to her partner’s point, the problem was that this year? That natural gain? It seemed to be more than just a few. Way more.

When the temperature started to drop this time, Clara found herself becoming ravenous. And so she’d eat, but it’d never seem to go away. As if her appetite was always there, looming, never truly satiated. Something which seemed to be leading to a lot of mindless nibbling at her desk, & trips to the kitchen for thirds & even fourths come meal time.

Couple that with the fact that her credit card expired three months ago, leading to an issue with her gym membership lapsing. It didn’t seem like such a huge deal while it was still warm out. Hell, she could always just go for a run. But she had become less & less inclined to do that as the mornings grew colder & colder, while feeling a little embarrassed about not sorting the gym out sooner.

Usually, that 10-15 or so fluffy seasonal pounds of padding she would put on, total? Just enough to lose a bit of definition, centering around her hips & butt? This time, it was like she packed them on in just the first few days, almost before the leaves even started to change.

At first, she still tried to stay positive about the whole thing. She joked to herself that must mean we were all in store for a particularly nastier than normal winter or something.

But her hunger continued & she seemed unable to prevent her weight rising. Slowly every part of her seemed to be getting softer & wider. Parts that had been neither as soft or this wide prior. She couldn’t wrap her head around it, leaving her confused & irritable. It wasn’t like she had started any new meds. She knew she couldn’t be pregnant, despite the appearance she was starting to garner. Why was this year suddenly any different compared to all of the previous ones?

Now, about 75% of her wardrobe was essentially off limits to her. She had gotten a little too big, unless it could stretch. These pants, ordered online, were brand new. A size she never fathomed she’d ever have to buy for herself. And yet they were already pretty dang snug. Hell, even this jacket didn’t button properly any more. Not in a way that would allow her or her now heaving chest to breathe or stay intact without busting a button. And not being able to close it meant she was cold. And being cold, well?

She found herself starving, even now. Even after the massive breakfast her partner treated her to at the local diner only forty five minutes ago. That was a new personal record for her, in terms of pancakes. And that bacon?

Jeez, even the way she would longingly think about food these days, she was no longer simply “thick.” She was barreling through being just plump or chubby, & firmly starting to enter the realm of fat girl territory now. And that was before even hitting the holidays. Her aunt’s cookies alone? Oh god. She was nowhere near done porking out, was she?

“I just want to say though…” Her partner meekly tried to break the silence. Clara realized in all of her angsting over her figure, an awkward, uncomfortable silence had fallen on what was supposed to be a fun day out, shopping. She might’ve been caught off guard by the subject being broached, but she recognized the initial question came from a place of concern more than negativity. If anything, to her, the fact it hadn’t come up sooner said a lot. As sensitive as she was about the issue, she started to realize she might’ve been behaving a little unfair.

“Yeah…?” Clara sighed, trying to overcome her anxiety on the matter.

“I just want you to know… I meant what I said.” Her partner said tersely.

“About…?” She probed with a bit of lingering frustration.

“The stunning part.” Her partner repeated. “You’re as beautiful as ever. No matter what.” Clara could tell the sincerity was there. These weren’t just halfhearted words to make her feel better. They were spoken earnestly. But either way, she needed & deeply appreciated the self esteem boost. In return, her tense brow & slight frown gave way to a coy smirk.

“Even if I get even bigger come Christmas?” She asked with a playful side-eye.

“Even if you were twice the size come Christmas,” Her partner doubled down, in an almost literal sense.

“Oh,” Clara stared straight ahead as they continued down the crisp, bustling autumn Main Street together. “So it turns out after a little over three years together, you’re some kind of like- what? A chubby chaser then?”

“You know, I never really ever quite got that expression, chubby chaser.” Her partner admitted. For anyone else, this might’ve seemed like a deflection. But they were constantly prone to asides like this. And anyway, she could use the distraction right now.

“What do you mean? It’s fairly straightforward.” She chortled, humoring them.

“Well sure, but like… to chase chubbier folks?” Her partner explains. “Would imply they’re on the go, in motion. Running even. And if they ran…”

“They wouldn’t be such chubsters.” Clara nodded, following the train of thought in a somewhat deprecating manner.

“Well I mean I would’ve put it a little more politely probably, but yeah.” Her partner affirmed, holding back a bit of a chortle of their own. “You get it.”

“So wait,” Clara continued. “Does that mean you wouldn’t chase me?”

“I mean you’re not…” Her partner attempted.

“Psssssssh,” She interrupted, saving her partner from having to fully voice a white lie. Unlike before, Clara could tell this was a blatant attempt to blow smoke up her ass. And while she appreciated the intent, she mostly wanted to accept the fact & move on. Not doddle. A beat was not skipped, in a way where they both silently acknowledged the attempt was bullshit.

“Do you plan on running?” Her partner asked instead, changing tact.

“Heh, with these tits?” Clara scoffed, looking down & clasping her upper arms inwards together for a bump of extra cleavage. “I’ll probably knock myself the fuck out if I try.”

“I mean- G-good,” It elicited a blush from her partner, stammering a little before trying to keep the banter up. “D-uh- I mean the ‘No running’ part. Not the- not the ‘knockout’ part. I didn’t feel like running either, frankly. For you? Would. Totally, without a doubt. No question. But not having to run? Cool. Great! Optimal. Even better.”

“It… seriously- just like- isn’t an issue for you though?” Clara sighed eventually, her anxiety once again getting the better part of her. “I mean I’ve never been like- bigger than I am right now.”

“And…?” They seemed to ask genuinely. Almost frustrated by not getting the response she wanted Clara’s voiced raised slightly. But not enough to pull focus from the other people they passed by going down the street.

“And I mean, you don’t think it’s like… un- unattra-“

“What?! No! Fuck, no.” Her partner interrupted, their expletive drawing a little more attention than Clara hoped. A mother of young children her partner didn’t see shot Clara a scowl. An elbow nudge got her partner to reset & lower their voice. “I really only even bothered to bring it up to see if you were like- okay. Like you weren’t depressed or anything.”

“Only kind of on account of… well-“ Clara snickered in admission.

“So you put on a few extra pounds. So what?” Her partner said softly with a shrug, trying to remain not so loud. “It’s a little different from the norm, but it’s not the end of the world. It’s just a thing. It just is.” Clara’s eyes scanned her shoes. A response wasn’t forthcoming. Her significant other continued to fill the void. “I mean, what? For as much as I love you, you really think I’d complain about more of you?”

“Heh. A lot of people would,” Clara sighed. On some level, she wondered if even she would, if things were reversed. She liked to think she wouldn’t. Then again, her partner wasn’t exactly the paragon of peak physical health, & she wouldn’t change them for the world.

“Yeah, well a lot of people are jerks too.” Her partner snapped back defiantly, again not skipping a beat. The flat, yet sudden delivery & the cut in tension cause Clara to let out a sharp, loud giggle.

“True,” she giggled.

“That’s why we’re together. Forget them. You don’t have to worry about that with me,” Her partner smiled earnestly. “Like three years in, in general, you should know by now, but I don’t mind reiterating. So long as you’re good, we’re good.”

“I… really appreciate that.” Clara smiled, looking away to hide her moistening eyes.

“Of course.” Her partner responded simply, not pressing the issue & end up being the reason Clara messed her eyeliner.

A reassured silence fell on the two of them as they continued down the street. At least until they pushed a little further beyond another crowd of mulling shoppers. Then Clara’s significant other cut the silence with an extra addendum, spoken just above a whisper. “Plus your ass is fuckin’ out of this world these days.” While mostly a joke to further cut the tension, Clara knew there was some truth to it. She knew full well they liked a bigger butt. But hers?

“It’s gigantic,” Clara gasped playfully, the protectively planting the palms of her hands atop of each of her snug jeans’ back pockets, as if they’d gone into pinch or spank her cheeks verbally. Hell, even the way her hands felt further apart these days was a little shocking. Her partner gave a devious grin & wink in response. “Okay, fine. So you’ve always liked a fat ass,” Clara said, rolling her eyes. “Still seems TOO big, but whatever.” She paused for a moment. “This gut though?”

“What?” Her partner insisted as more of a declarative statement than question. “It’s cute.”

“Cute?!” Clara asked, wide eyed, a little bewildered.

“Did I stutter?” Her partner laughed. “Keyyy-ute.”

“Oh.” Clara nodded. “You really think it’s going to be cute when it’s like- all the way out to here?” To demonstrate, she exploded her hands out in front of her, almost as if she was pantomiming carrying a barrel.

“What, is that your goal?” They snickered, somewhat perplexed.

“No! God no! But like- if it did!” She pressed.

“Uh, probably yeah,” Her partner snipped defiantly. “If it’s part of you, I’m sorry! I’m probably just going to find it inherently cute. Them’s the breaks.”

“Oh you’re going to be sorry,” Clara scowled, half playful, half serious. “Because even now, I’m still hungry.”

“Damn, girl. Even after all those pancakes?” They tried to rationalize under their breath.

“See!” Clara jumped, ready to call them out. “I knew you were gonna judge me!”

“What? No-”

“Yes!” Clara countered mockingly imitating their inflection, almost on top of.

“No! No way.” Her partner insisted. “I’m not judging. I’m impressed. Like… seriously.”

“Tck!” Clara clicked her tongue. “No-”

“Yes!” Her partner flipped the table on her, not letting her time to say no & copying her inflection all the same. “So wait, is that a subtle hint that you’re looking for something to eat right now?” It took Clara a second to respond. A pause with consideration behind it, belying the sternness that followed it.

“Uh- nooo.”

Then why did it take you so long?” Her partner laughed. “If you’re hungry, you’re hungry.”

“Yeah but that’s the problem, hun,” Clara lamented, the playfulness once again disappearing. “I’m like… always hungry. I- shouldn’t.”

“You brought it up,” they reminded with a bit of an eye roll, happy to move on. But clearly Clara wasn’t ready to.

“I meant in terms of like- the way I keep eating, chances are, I’m only going to keep getting bigger.” She tried to clarify. Her partner looked at her, some of their playfulness now leaving too. “It’s not that I want to.” She lamented. “Not that I’m actively trying to! I swear! It’s just, look what’s happened so far. I don’t entirely understand what’s led me to- this.” She said, giving her belly a slight jiggle through her formerly bulky, now somewhat tight maroon sweater. “I’m suddenly always hungry. Like all the time. And you’re right. I’ve like… sort of ballooned the last few weeks. It’s making me a chonker! And chances are, it’ll probably… get worse before it gets better.” She pantomimed carrying a barrel again, this time, puffing her cheeks along with “I’m- gross.”

“Wouldja stop? You are in no way gross.” They insisted.

“Okay,” Clara said with an abrupt laugh, her tone growing a little dismissive. “You’re really sweet. And adorable, but-“

“I AM adorable,” They interrupted. “And I mean it when I tell you you’re not gross. If you don’t like how you look or feel, want to change it? I’m here for you, happy to help any way I can help. Support you however you need. You want a diet buddy? I mean no promises, but I’ll do my best! If not, & you end up getting a little pudgier over the next few months, so be it. Hell, I’ll even gain more weight than you, just to pull focus if it’ll make you feel better.”

“Please… don’t…” Clara stammered, trying to sound certain, but now, on some strange level, she was morbidly curious.

“But I just don’t want to hear you call yourself gross. Because you’re not.” Her partner finished. “And I’ll keep repeating myself over & over if I have to. Until you know it too.”

Clara’s partner was always kind. They proved it lots of times over the course of their relationship, in gestures both big & small. But never had there been a moment where Clara had ever felt so loved. Slowing her pace, she closed her eyes & took a deep breath.

“Are you okay?” They stopped, realizing that Clara had fallen a few steps behind.

“Yeah.” Clara smiled after a moment. She hoped her cheeks only looked flushed on account of walking in the cooler temperature. “Thanks.” She cooed softly. In typical fashion, her partner just kind of shrugged it off, as if what was said wasn’t even deserving of gratitude, & just a simple fact of nature. The sort of non-verbal reaction that, in turn, Clara loved them for as well.

“You coming?” They smirked, as low pressure & softly as they could. Clara nodded, stepping up to wrap their hand around her wider hips, & her arm around them. “Oooh.” They cooed softly. “You’re nice & warm.”

“Psssh.” Clara laughed off as they continued.

In that way that scents hang longer in the denser, chillier cold air, Clara realized they were coming up on one of her favorite Mexican places. The aroma of the grill wafted past. It was impossible to stay strong.

“We’re stopping for tacos, aren’t we?” Her partner checked, almost as if they were on the same wavelength telepathically.

“Am I really that easy to read?”

“You?” Her partner cracked. “Smelling that, now I’m hungry! News flash here, it’s not all about you, ya know.”

“Well,” Clara laughed, trailing off as if her arm was truly twisted into the matter. “If you’re stopping I guess…”

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Hope it wasn’t too saccharine for all of you. The world’s sucked a bit recently & the vibes have been more off than usual, so I just wanted to do something a little more upbeat & positive. 

The image was started earlier in the month, & took longer than I had hoped. It had been a minute since I paired a drawing with a vignette though so I wanted to dig a little deeper. Originally setting out, the accompanying text was supposed to be more about the mystery behind her sudden increase in appetite this year versus all the others, as if it’s something out of the realm of possibility. But the more I went, the less interesting the ambiguity seemed to me, & more I thought about just how candid discussions about weight can some times just be sort of sexy in their own right. 

As I’ve tried in the past, the partner is supposed to be vague to act as a sort of self-insert for anyone reading. Are they secretly a feeder? Or just a chubby chaser? They can if you want. I don’t often like swaying folks with my own head canon, but to me, they’re not. They’re certainly a lot more open maybe than most people, & heck, maybe they do find a certain affinity one way or the other. But personally, I just like the thought of them being so deeply enamored with their girlfriend that it really doesn’t matter to them one way or another. 

Then again, also in my head canon (which may never get fully explored), she does in fact, implausibly double her weight by Christmas. So don’t go by me. I always try to leave some room for folks to interpret my stuff in a way that suits them best.

Tagging AI just because the drawing took long enough & I didn’t want to draw a town behind her.