The Harem on the Hill (Part LXVI) (Patreon)

After a quick shower, Tina tromps back downstairs into the living room.  Her wet hair makes her face look even fuller than usual.

"While I’m in town, I’ll pick us up some goodies from Fred's Breads," she says.

You peel $100 from your money clip and hand it to her.  "Grab enough for the girls."

Tina stares blankly at the bill.  “This won’t even tide Anastasia over until dinner.”

You peel a second $100 from your clip.  “Take the SUV.”

Tina aims her finger at you and makes a clicking noise.   Then she grabs a set of keys from the display in the hall and shuffles to the garage.

As you watch Tina waddle off, you wonder what Officer Petty will think of your porky concubine.  Since you’ve focused your recent fattening efforts on other members of your harem, Tina is only modestly bigger than she was when Officers Petty and Morgan visited last year.  So while he might speculate as to why she's packed on so much relationship weight, especially considering she's ostensibly dating a billionaire playboy with a taste for the finer things, he's unlikely to suspect anything overtly nefarious.

If he were to see his former partner, however…

Grabbing a book from your library, you settle on the sofa.  After a few chapters, you make yourself some tea and stroll outside, winding around the side of your estate to your garden.  It still needs some TLC after six months of neglect.  With the weather getting warmer, it's probably time to plant a few things.

Your eyes drift eastward towards the valley.  The forest has filled to the point you can only detect hints of humanity from the neighboring town.  A waft of smoke from a chimney.  Bits of red-brick architecture poking between the pines.  And the giant American Flag shared by the post office and the police station flitting in the breeze with the tips of the trees.

A blare from your phone disturbs your peace.  It's Tina.

"How's it going?"

"I've been arrested."

"What?"

"They just booked me."

"What for?"

"They're going to throw the book at me.  I need you to book it down here."

Then the line goes dead.  Instinctively, you glance back to the valley where you know the police station to be.  All you can see is the flag waving its lazy hello.  Or is it goodbye?

At least Tina got her phone call.  While you appreciated her discretion and brevity--calls from police stations are notorious for being tapped or otherwise monitored--she certainly didn't provide much information.

Or did she?

What do you do?