Learn To Take A Compliment (Poem) (Patreon)

Poem delving deep into the unhealthy narrative behind my hesitation to fully embrace compliments. I had to see it dragged into the light, not drifting in the back of my mind, to realize how awful and poisonous it was-- to realize it wasn't Me, but something learned. A parasite trying to "help". - Clovis

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Learn To Take A Compliment

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Carefully deconstructed kindness,

Don't breathe, take it slow, not so quick,

You'll hurt yourself, you'll hurt everyone,

Steady goes, don't leap to assumptions, don't swallow just yet, check the ingredients, calculate the calories,

Remember your diet, community-planned,

It's cute to be eager, sad to be naive, 

Shoveling compliments down your throat that'll rot your teeth and turn to ash in your gut,

Read between the lines, locate what's allowed, what is courtesy,

Plastic fruit bowl, feast for the eyes, crumbs for the soul, 

Can't drool without hope, carried away by no-one but yourself, disappointed by no-one but yourself,

Gesture of thoughtful hosts taken too seriously, piggish child, childish pig, stolen birthday cakes,

Remember, 

One day of the year is yours, and every other, someone else's, 

To be given, to be borrowed, not to take, not to keep,

If you feast upon a whole buffet, with bouquets and golden plates, vomit before it goes to your head,

Before you get your own ideas of what you deserve,

Before those who trusted you retake what they know you don't deserve,

New limbs cauterized, looming tower toppled down to size, flower buds clipped at the roots, 

What's taken for granted will be decried, locked away, made sterile,

An eternity of mourning, regret on scale unknown 'til too late,

You may already be dying, but you can avoid a fate worse than death,

Cage your innocence, unsullied by pride, unaware of your own humanity,

Graceful object, golden silence,

Ugly knot of warm flesh, racing heartbeat,

The deserving mechanical circus animal, the undeserving human being,

Mandatory modesty, repulsive ego,

Insincere sincerity, sincere insincerity,

If tone conveys more truth than truth itself, the only path to truth is an act,

Empty bellied, empty minded, admirable carcass roasting on the sidewalk,

I can't promise you'll live, sure,

But,

At least you're only taking what you deserve.