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Quackery (Patreon)

Published:
2020-11-18 02:07:46
Edited:
2020-11-18 19:12:05
Imported:
2022-01

Content

untitled goose comic

Files

Comments

Creampuff

lame i was hoping they would get together

Hope

I mean im a dom but id let may step on me

Michael

Surprisingly health decision for the both of them.

MikeT

And who said that Sven hasn't shown growth?

Anonymous

I hope they'll reconsider how they feel about it, they seemed actually cool with each other

Cody Renton

Honestly this was way tamer than like, giving a partner a kidney or something, which I mostly bring up so I can point out that in at least one divorce somebody wanted their kidney BACK.

Michael Russell

Missing text on shirt in panel 5.

Anonymous

Panel 5 is missing shirt text. That an error?

Michael Boettger
>>47916881

No, but it looks like they can relate to one another on a better, healthier, and more equal level.

Anonymous

I'm getting some Munchkin (the card game) vibes from that last panel

Crash Collison

May's shirt lost its text in panel 5

MikeT

also panel 5 May lost her glomp

gatherer818

Give them a week to get used to the situation (and hornier), they gonna smash

Wolfger

Did somebody hurt you, Jeph? And now you're taking it out on us and your characters? There was no reason for this to go the way it did.

Anonymous

Dammit!! I was hoping for Sven to find happiness and May to well be May but with Sven haha

Yonatan Zunger

Healthy behavior on both parts. But I do hope that after a while, they figure out a way they can keep hooking up - because it seems to be actually good for them.

Jaron Mortimer

Bleh. I guess. This seems like a really weird way to end that conversation.

Anonymous

I'm hoping they both get home, realizing how much they are pining for each other, say fuck it, and get back on the boning wagon. But this resolution is very close to best case scenario, and much better than recent romantic situations...

Anonymous

The shirt is monodirectionally printed.

Anonymous

The missing shirt text is obviously meant to reflect May's mood. Seeing the fuckduck is how May got her glomps back.

chapoluvr420

aw NO. sven i was rooting for this one to work out for ya

Captain Button

So they are ducking the issue?

ERRORCODE616
>>47917023

I hope so. They seem to be a good match both personality-wise and sexually. I hope they figure out that the money only comes with obligation if they treat it that way, rather than a baseline decent person wanting to help out a friend in need. They have fun together and I want dumb social conventions to get out of their way.

Andrea Andrew

Why would it be weird to keep hooking up? She’s now equipped with the right equipment, and they seem to like each other. I hope they realize how perfect they are for each other soon.

Anonymous

Why a duck?

Andrew

Don’t be fowl, May.

Anonymous

Heh. Premium pun.

Sir Pants

All things considered that was a good way to end the friends with benefits thing, but could be a good transition to them actually dating.

Grace Kieser

That is one magical shirt! The text keeps disappearing on the 5th panel!

Anonymous

The t-shirt actually has a demifluoroescent print that flickers off every 5/6th of a second just to draw extra much attention to it.

Grace Kieser
>>47917462

Because he essentially paid for her new body and she won't be able to forget that. Part of her brain will be worried that she'd be fucking him out of obligation instead of it being fully voluntary.

Populuxe

The text on her shirt blinks off after every bed decision.

Andrea Andrew
>>47917620

Yes! They could finally do that. I hope Sven turns around next issue and asks her out.

Grace Kieser
>>47916932

They both act like immature teens, but they both have shown quite a lot of depth! I think the outward immaturity is just a defense mechanism. If no one thinks you're mature, no one expects you to live up to anything!

Anonymous

Hah, suck it Sven. Points for maturity, now go home and feel sad, while also remaining aware that you don’t really have any right to feel sad. You did the right thing.

Anonymous

I think the missing t-shirt text in panel five is intended to remind us that we should be reading May's expression more carefully. Panel Five - That Face!

Carl Fink

OK, are those bushy trees running down a street behind our characters, and one of them is halfway behind a building, which is why it's cut off in panel 6?

Anonymous

Also, jeez, what percentage of the fund do we think Sven contributed? 10%? 20% of the total?

Simon Green
>>47917703

I'm not sure whether it would flicker more or less if that was 'bad decision' instead of 'bed decision'.

Simon Green

I guess a chance to try out the fabled corkscrew duck peener is a fair consolation prize. I mean, it managed to get Momo wet.

Thomas Halpin

Sucks that Sven and May are both suffering from the entirely predictable consequences of his actions. I even believe they were the correct actions. Maybe they can take some time and try a real relationship later

awgiedawgie
>>47918491

The only thing that got Momo wet was dunking her head in the fountain to cool down. The duck just happened to be in the way.

Chris Heg

That's no goose, that's a Pekin duck.

Penguin

What Duck?

The World Famous Chocomerican

Sad that Sven and May aren't gonna break in that new body. It was one of the few things I was looking forward to.

Anonymous

Aw. Now that she has orifices, she can't share them with the person she wants to. It's like a carnal Gift of the Magi.

Anonymous
>>47916998

I’M GLAD MY BRAIN ISN’T THE ONLY ONE THAT WENT THERE.

Sleepy John

Ethics are the chastity of the mind.

Anonymous

That's a really cute duck.

DVW
>>47918938

Hey now casual fuck buddies is a perfectly real relationship

Yahsho Jinn

It seems like another ship is stuck in dry dock. But when it comes to human AI relationships, I always figured Clinton would be the second cast member to have one. He could be in the coffee shop, happen to see Roko dealing with a dissociative episode and strike up a conversation about his hand. Sure it's not the same as having a full body replacement, but I feel like he would have a relatable experience. They could chat over tea and a fresh loaf of sourdough..

Andrea Andrew
>>47919349

They might. Give it time, and actual dates and a possible relationship.

Joseph Bonnar

What duck? (If you don't get it, read Pratchett.)

Chelsea

Yeah, I don't get this. I think it was the right thing for Sven to disclose the info to May before they proceeded, but I don't really see why they can't still hook up. As others have said, maybe this would lead to them actually dating, though, which would be good, I think they'd be good for each other

Alan Wiggs

The shirt text disappears again! The glomp has become sentient

Anonymous
>>47919230

Dunno if anybody else here got that one, Penguin. Bugrit! Millennium Hand and Shrimp!

Evgeniy Semyonov

So it's another Mass Effect homage. Like if you choose to just sleep with Jack early on, you would be locked out of the chance for real relationship later on. Given that May is also a former convict with antisocial tendencies and love for the excessive swearing, this analogy actually works very well.

Mister Cletus

Wait. WaitwaitwaitwaitWAIT. Sven. Being... Considerate? A philanthropist? The fuck? I know it's still 2020, Jeph, but this bizzaro Sven is... Well... Nice.

Matthew Van Gangelen
>>47921138

Honestly at this point I think the text is printed in light emitting fabric that is constantly flashing on and off. There’s a tiny battery compartment sewn into the hem at the back. The text remains on for longer than it stays off, hence why it appears in most of the panels.

Shane Wegner

Mated for life with several ducklings, I'm afraid.

Bagge

Yeah, I give them a week until they fuck.

darklion

These are overly stringent ethics. IN PRINCIPLE, there is a conflict of interest here, but this is a private matter just between the two of them, so it's possible to reach an understanding going beyond principle, if May were the party to act and say, "It's okay." Hell, she could even put it in writing, if that's what it took to avoid the appearance of impropriety. Up to this point May has never been shy about cutting corners whenever possible, so it's really out of character to do this here.

Rodrigo Ourcilleon

Nooooooooooooooo. :( please meet again. Those guys are my favorite ship atm.

YourKingMob

They just need an initial cooling off and a talked out reassessment. They'll be back.

AlexKorobeiniki

Ah, that's too bad. Good on them for being up front about that, but at the same time it's sad to see a good thing be tainted by, of all things, a genuinely honest and non-coercive donation. I always appreciate when Jeph bring up stuff like this, a lesser writer would have made one of them a villian over it.

dizzy ditzy

One the one hand, this is an extremely nuanced thing and it all mostly depends on how the two feel about the situation On the other, I just want them to get together and be happy together, so I hope they reconcile quick

Anonymous
>>47921097

I don't think he should have disclosed it. The only real reason to disclose it is making May feel indebted to him, which was the entire concern when he specifically was given the advice to donate anonymously to prevent exactly that. He doesn't show any sign he's doing that INTENTIONALLY here, but the reveal didn't benefit EITHER of them. If he was too weirded out by knowing, HE should have said no, not told her so she's guilt tripped and STILL said yes.

Leak

Well, sure - this would be fucking weird (heh...) in the same way banging someone's hip socket isn't...

Anonymous

My prediction for tomorrow is that Sven returns with some Pocky because he realized he wants a hug before he leaves.

Timothy Roller

This feels out of character for both of them.

Anonymous
>>47923046

If it feels weird, it feels weird. I don't think that's necessarily out of character. :-)

Stephen Wells

What is all this character growth and ethical behaviour doing in our horny robot comic? :)

Anonymous
>>47921898

Ehhhhhhh...Sven was never a total douchebag in the first place, just a dude who did some selfish and immature things, and Jeph has almost made a running gag out of how Sven’s had a load of personal growth and development that the other characters just didn’t notice.

Anonymous

Calling it now: After this growth and maturity sinks in, they are going to realize it was never that casual and they have a real connection, and run into each other on their way to go to the other's apartment, and do horny stuff in a strange ally or something.

Anonymous

Have we ever seen Sven with a girlfriend taller than he is?

jimbo

sure, sure it might be weird, but these two thrive on weird (while superficially denying it)]

Mark
>>47917482

Some look at a duck and ask Why. I look at the absence of a duck and ask Why Not!

Mark

I'm now annoyed that there doesn't seem to be a synonym for 'date' which starts with an 'f', which would have allowed a more complete alliteration in the last panel :-)

OldGoat

No weirder than what the two of them did to that poor watermelon to begin with. Get naked and have fun, you two.

Anonymous

This makes me sad.

Milo

Definitely hoping that May thinks about this five minutes, and decide "What the hell I want to fu*k his brain out anyway".

Timothy Mann

Here’s the thing, he donated money so she could get a body that wasn’t falling apart not to necessarily improve how she looked. This is like donating for someone to get life improving surgery like reconstructive knee surgery. He had no way to predict or any say in what the outcome was going to look like. She could have chosen a body that was unappealing to human beauty standards. So frankly I hope they get over this mental hurdle or someone points it out when they’re feeling down about the situation.

Em Dah

my current partner donated like 485 dollars to my youcaring account like a month into us dating back in early 2019. she did not intend for me to know it was her. I had been unemployed for a while and was having trouble making my rent. I originally was gonna play it off like i didn't know, but I realized that would be dishonest and I didn't like how it felt, so I confessed that an email gave her away. I don't remember it feeling that weird, she made a good amount of money and she had a history of generous donations to people she didn't know incredibly well. But boy it was dicey at the time.

John Ridley

Man I am glad that the partners that I have helped out financially didn't cut me off as a result. If it's given as a friend and not with the expectation of payback, seems weird to take it like that.

Andrea Andrew
>>47936930

Streaking?! I wouldn’t put it past May and Sven. They did get freaky at her convenience store. 😁😂

Tim Keating

2020: Jeph destroys all our dreams.

Tim Keating

Apropos of nothing, it occurs to me that May has never actually had sex in the traditional sense. Not just literally, insofar as it’s a brand new body, but she’s never had the traditional equipment. So what’s THAT going to be like?

Joseph Bonnar

Somewhere along here Momo is gonna figure out that Sven knows of her crush now, AND that he's free. I have no idea how this will go, because Jeph is a DAMNED good story teller, but I want to start shipping Sven and Momo NOW!

Kuragari

May does have big honkers now so... LOL

Joe

jeez. why stop?? weird was working for them when she was still using that broke ass body. why shouldn't weird work now?? don't overthink it Maven (or Svay)!!

Quantum Cat

By dissolving their "arrangement", neither side has any further obligation, so if May decides to get her some Sven in the future, would that no longer be fraught with uncomfortable power dynamics? (Asking for a friend.)

Merle Blue

Sheesh, you two lovable dorks. Just wait about a week and it won't seem so weird anymore.

Anonymous
>>47977922

I can't say I read people too well, but this might not be so temporary an awkwardness

KCkittysnores
>>47943149

Right! She coulda picked a fighter jet! I mean, out of her price range, I guess, but she had options.

Nicholas A Wagner

Does she have to stop being friends with everyone else who gave money to the body fund? I don't know, I just think they are being a little extreme with their response. He gave freely with no expectation of reward. I don't know...

Some Ed
>>48000922

Given the amounts that most of the people were talking about and stuff, I suspect his portion of the donated money was over 50%, possibly considerably over. That's the bit that makes things weird.

Some Ed
>>47916969

I don't know the specifics about any of those divorce cases, but part of me kind of wants the other party in them to have "won", not just on that point but in general. I mean, OMG.

Some Ed
>>47917806

You have the right to your feelings. Sven has the right to his. I know from experience doing the right thing does not provide any resistance to feeling sad about it. Knowing that you did the right thing is also not helpful for keeping the situation from making one be sad.

Some Ed
>>47957121

Simple. Momo goes over to Sven's with a watermelon. "Was this just a thing with May, or...?" The next panel features May walking in Sven's neighborhood or building. The panel after that, Sven's answering the door in a bathrobe, with Momo and a half watermelon in the background. There will be a great deal of anguish. Mostly here on Patreon, on Reddit, and wherever else this comic is discussed.