The Simulacrum - Chapter 94 - Parts 3 and 4 (Patreon)

Part 3

"You're early," Naoren noted without even bothering to up from the table in the side room attached to his makeshift hotel-suite-office.

"We both have things to do, so I figured we should get this over with as soon as possible," I answered nonchalantly and walked closer to him. As I did, I couldn't help but notice a sweet floral fragrance in the air.

The young clan head let out a relaxed hum and finally turned to me, with two traditional-style Chinese teacups, their white porcelain covered in intricate, intertwined eastern dragon motifs. Stereotypical, but it was more or less expected.

"Jasmine pearls?" I asked, and he gave me an approving nod.

"I gave you a promise last time, didn't I?"

"You did. Thank you for the hospitality."

"I just finished brewing it, so it's hot. Be careful." Saying so, he handed one of the cups over, then gestured towards the sitting area of the office. Soon we were both seated face-to-face, with a crowded coffee table between us. It only took a single long sip for me to realize he wasn't kidding about it being piping hot, so for the time being I set my cup down, making sure not to disturb the pile of various items already on the table.

They were Naoren's spoils from the auction, and while most of them were just mundane, if rare, memorabilia, with some allegedly valuable herbs and animal parts mixed in, there was one item conspicuously set aside from the rest; a smooth azure stone the size of my fist.

"So, are you going to tell me how you got into my temporary office this time?" my host opened with a bit of small talk, and a smirk naturally came to my lips.

"Still a trade secret. Also, it was the quickest way to contact you."

"You could have used the front door," he pointed out between two sips, and this time I shook my head.

"No, I couldn't. We're going to have a big, earth-shattering, legendary duel of epic proportions tomorrow. An ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny, if you will."

"Are we?"

"Well, no, but that's how everyone else should see it, and if I showed up on your doorstep the night before for a friendly chat, it would send mixed messages." After a shrug, I added, "Not to mention, it's like a beehive down there, with everyone running around the place like headless chickens, and I didn't want to interrupt them."

"And you have no idea why that is the case," Naoren remarked a tad snidely, but I took it in stride.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"So you say you had nothing to do with article number sixteen disappearing from the vault between the time it went up for auction and the time the lucky bidder attempted to receive it?"

"I'm as innocent as a newborn lamb," I lied through my teeth, and my host graciously pretended he believed me. Though not without an annoyed roll of his eyes.

"Fine then, let's discuss this topic later. For now, should we go over tomorrow's plan again? Just to make sure it would go smoother than today's."

"Hey, it was plenty smooth," I objected, mostly just on principle. "The only hitch we had was because someone was slow to improvise, and it wasn't me."

"I don't remember improvisation ever being part of the plan," he shot back with a completely unruffled look on his face.

"That's kind of an unspoken rule. Since they never survive contact with the enemy, every good plan should have lots of wiggle-room for on-the-fly modifications."

"So what you're saying is that you make your plans with them failing in mind. Careful, Leonard. Your pessimism is showing."

"I prefer to call it realism, thank you very much," I responded as I reached for my cup again. By this time it was at a more drinkable temperature, so I could take a bigger gulp.

"If you insist," Naoren said with an amused bend in his lips. "As for me, I prefer my plans to proceed like clockwork. There is a simple satisfaction found in watching every element and every line of the script falling in place perfectly." He paused here, then exhaled a shallow sigh. "It's a shame today's performance followed your principles. I was looking forward to getting to the part where I would be calling you a beetroot in front of everyone."

"... Wait, that was in the scrip?"

"Yes. It was line twenty-seven." I must have looked lost, as my host's lips curled further upwards and he explained, "It was in response to you declaring that I was unfit to unite all Draconian clans because I lack vision."

"Oh, right. We did discuss something like that, didn't we?"

"We certainly did. I have to say, I was a little disappointed I couldn't say that line. Or didn't hear you call me an 'abominable trouser wasp'. It had quite an amusing ring to it."

One flat look later, I told him, "That was just a generic insult I used as an example. You see, those are the exact kind of things you're supposed to improvise in the heat of the moment."

"Is that so? Does that also apply to calling someone a decrepit sea sponge?"

"It especially applies to that."

Naoren let out an amused little hum that pretty much said 'I learned something new today' before he cleared his throat.

"Staying on the topic of plans, are you going to play the role of the aggressor tomorrow as well?"

"Nah, there's no need," I responded offhandedly before gulping down the last of my tea. "I was only on the offensive because we needed you to have a legit reason to challenge me to a duel. Since it was already accomplished, with the contribution of your cute little cousin, we don't need to put up a show anymore. The whole thing is only serving as an alibi anyway, so there's no reason to overdo it."

"I don't know how I feel about you calling Xiao Xiao cute..."

One very slow roll of an eye followed, then I told him, "Please cut the protective older brother routine, we'd already done it once."

Naoren conceded with a shallow nod, and since the conversation came to a lull, I decided to get on with the business I came over for and pointed at the item already set aside for me.

"So, how much do I owe you again?"

"One hundred thousand and one Jens," he answered a touch dryly.

"Wow... Dad-in-law ramped it up to the limit, didn't he?" I muttered and reached over to the enchanted bag on my belt. Normally it needed a full armor set to work, but I had already jury-rigged it so that I could operate the enchantment with my phantom limb. According to its previous owner, he could just intuitively store and retrieve items with a thought. For me, the process was a little more involved, but I soon had a wad of hundred Jen bills in my hand anyway. Then another.

In no time at all, I piled up ten of them onto the table, much to my host's surprise.

"That seems to be a really useful artifact."

"It is," I replied with undisguised delight. "The storage space is fairly small, and it's a little finicky to operate, but it's definitely handy. Once I figure out how to reproduce the enchantment, you are free to buy one. I'll even give you a discount."

"Thank you, I'll think about it," he responded in a deadpan tone before he pointedly looked over the money on the table. "So, that's one hundred thousand. You are still short of one Jen."

"Erm, right... Give me a moment." I looked into the inventory bag, then turned my pockets inside out, earning me a skeptically raised brow. "Sooo, this is kind of embarrassing, but apparently I don't have any spare change on me."

"That's funny."

"More annoying, really," I grumbled, only to stop when I noticed the pensive look on Naoren's face. "Are you worried I won't pay up?"

"Not really. Trying to swindle me out of a single Jen would cause more harm to your reputation than mine, so I'm not worried the slightest."

"… Then why do you look worried? Are you having second thoughts about tomorrow's plan?"

"I would be lying if I said I don't have my reservations, but no, it's not about that," he said with a cloudy expression. "To be frank, I still don't know how to feel about the infamous dragon-killing spear disappearing into thin air under our watch."

"I already told you it's not the original, just a prop," I pointed out, but it only deepened his frown.

"You claim that, and I want to believe you, but as far as the other clans know, we just lost one of the most dangerous weapons in existence."

"Don't oversell it. Anti-dragon enchantment or not, if I ever planned to hunt a big scaly magical lizard, I would pick an anti-materiel rifle over a spear any day of the week."

"Please don't refer to our honored ancestor so crassly. It's disrespectful," Naoren warned me out of the blue.

"I'm not wrong though. Trust me; dragons are much less impressive in person than you would think."

"... You almost sound like you're talking from experience."

"That's because I am," I answered, but then immediately followed it up with, "Don't ask. It's a bit of a secret, and also a long story we don't have the time for right now. In conclusion, you absolutely shouldn't worry about the fake spear, and it's going to surface soon enough anyway, so let's cut that whole line of thought right here."

"Are you leaving?" my host asked, and while I didn't mean my words to be interpreted that way, I figured I might as well do so.

"While I enjoyed both the tea and the company, the night is short, and I still need to get a few things prepared for tomorrow's performance."

As I said that, I carefully picked up the blue stone. Naoren looked at me expectantly, but when I didn't do anything with it, he asked, "Aren't you going to store it in your artifact?"

"Nah. It can't hold living things," I answered off-handedly, and while he seemed intrigued by my comment, he didn't press the issue, and instead he stood up as well.

"Very well then. I would see you off, but I have a feeling you don't need me to. Let's meet again tomorrow."

"Nine in the morning, sharp," I responded, and he nodded along.

The preliminaries of the tournament would only start at one in the afternoon, but I figured it was best to give myself some leeway. Or, in this case, a lot.

"Do you plan to confront grand elder Xinji?" came an unexpected question, and after some consideration, I shook my head.

"Not directly. If he makes a move and reveals his hand, then it's another matter entirely, but accomplishing our main goal is more important. If you want to, you can deal with him internally."

"It all depends on how he acts and his motivations," Naoren responded a touch sourly. "I've known the grand elder for decades, and while we sometimes didn't see eye to eye, I wish to give him the benefit of the doubt."

"I think I've told you that I've already caught him red-handed."

"And you have also told me you lack the evidence to justify pinning him down, and that you could not discern his motivations for scheming behind our backs. As far as we know, he might have had legitimate reasons for everything he did."

"Careful, Naoren. Your optimism is showing."

The bespectacled clan-head blinked in surprise, then shook his head with a smile.

"What is the word…? Touché, I believe?"

"Yep, that's the one," I responded with a toothy grin of my own and offered him a hand. "See you—"

"Big brother Naoren? Are you in there?"

We both froze for a moment and then simultaneously turned towards the muffled voice of a certain young girl coming from the other side of the main entrance of the office.

"Off I go!" I declared, and my host let out an affirmative grunt before heading towards the door. As for me, I moved over to the side-room where I first arrived before Phasing away, just barely catching odango-girl inquiring about whether or not Naoren had any guests over.

Part 4

"Gah!"

The moment I arrived, I was alarmed by a startled yelp coming from my right, closely followed by a chair falling over. When I glanced towards the source, I found Raven Boy, currently wearing a familiar tracksuit ensemble, staring at me in shock, providing a great contrast with Hrul and Rabom in the background, who only acknowledged my presence with a lazy wave before they continued to stoically try to assemble the modular kitchen furniture I brought over in the morning. Without the instructions, of course, because real ram-men didn't need those.

Once they managed to put it together, preferably in this decade, the backup base would be, if not self-sufficient, at least marginally more livable than it used to be. It was also warmer, thanks to a pair of spare oil radiators, though it was still far from balmy.

"What the hell was that? You scared the shit out of me!" Raven Boy complained while he set the chair upright, and I couldn't stop snickering even if I tried. It's been so long since I've got a reaction like that out of someone; it just felt nostalgic.

Ignoring the glowering guy, I set the stone in my hand onto the nearby kitchen table and looked around, missing a certain someone.

"Where's Morgana?"

"With Pip. Restroom," Hrul responded without looking up, seemingly too busy closely inspecting two outwardly identical screws.

Just to be safe, I Far Glanced her way, and she really was up on the ground floor, discussing how to renovate the single toilet stall in the entire abandoned dockyard building. Since I planned to use this place as a kind of black site, mainly for storing all Bel-related incriminating evidence, getting the utilities into working order was important, but I had no idea why she was the one doing the inspecting.

In any case, since she didn't seem to be up to any malarkey, I returned to my body and turned to the table again, just in time to catch Raven Boy freeze mid-motion just as he was about to take a seat again and then jump back with another startled, "Gah! What's that?"

Following his line of sight, I leveled my gaze on the tiny tentacled eldritch abomination sitting on the table where the blue stone used to be, and uttered a blasé, "It's a mini-shoggoth. Duh."

"What's something like that doing on the table!?"

I glanced at the one-eyed menace, and it waved its many stubby tentacles around like it was dancing to a tune only it could hear, so I faced Raven Boy and said, "Vibing, I suppose?"

He looked at me like I was out of my mind, but I didn't really care about his opinion, so after lightly scratching the strangely endearing creature of mild nightmares behind its nonexistent ear, I reached over to the bag on my belt and produced three interlinked, partially overlapping pieces of angular metal plates, each one roughly the size of my palm.

"Here, I fixed the damaged parts, so you can reassemble your gear for tomorrow's operation."

He still eyed the tentacled ball on the table cautiously, but inched closer to me and snatched the armour-part out of my hand. He looked at it, then at the bag on my belt, and told me, "I want my sabretache back too."

"And I want world peace," I responded with a one hundred percent genuine and totally friendly smile. "The only difference between the two of us is that what I want might actually happen one day."

"It's mine!"

"No, it used to be yours, before you lost it due to a series of terrible decisions that led to getting your ass handed to you."

"It only happened because I was weakened and let my guard down! If we fought again, I would not be defeated by you!"

His declaration was followed by a solid five seconds of silence, during which even the Fauns in the back paused and swiveled their eyes around to listen closer. As for me, I exhaled a long, exasperated groan, then walked over to Raven Boy's side and placed a heavy palm on his shoulder. He flinched but met my eyes defiantly.

"Say, are you listening to yourself?" I asked, irritation all but dripping from my voice, and he finally blinked.

"W-What?"

"I asked, are you listening to yourself?" I repeated, this time a little more forcefully. "You are sounding like a bloody mob character in a cheap paperback story, with zero self-awareness."

"What the hell are you talking about? What's a mob character?"

"It's an extra with delusions of grandeur," I responded and lightly squeezed his shoulder. "Now that I think about it, that also describes you pretty well." Raven Boy continued to glare at me and tried to shake me off, but my hand was already clamped onto him, so I used the opportunity to turn him into a guinea pig by sticking one of my phantom limbs into his chest. In the meantime, to hold his attention, I lowered my voice by an octave and said, "Listen closely, you miserable simpleton. Don't mistake my treatment of you for softness. You tried to kidnap my girlfriend, and as much of a pathetic failure the attempt turned out to be, it still landed you a position near the top of my shit-list, and the only reason why you still have your head attached to your shoulders is because of grander ramifications you can't even begin to comprehend, let alone understand." I paused here, as I just came to a tricky part in my unsanctioned soul surgery, but it also worked great for making him sweat a bit before I continued with, "For your interest, the last person who pissed me off this much was an Abyssal Lord, and he spent two months in bed after the incident. Unlike him, you are potentially useful to me, so I recommend you try to leverage that fact as much as you can and be a good little boy, and if you are lucky, maybe I will kindly overlook your transgression this one last time. It's all up to you. Think about it."

After saying all that, I finally released my grip on his shoulder and used the same hand to pat it, eliciting a stifled hiss from the guy.

I, naturally, completely disregarded that and turned on my heel.

"Speaking of Crowey, I have some things to take care of in his neck of the woods. Where's my Bel costume?"

"Wardrobe. In corner," Hrul told me, with the exact same two screws in hand. I nodded in appreciation and headed over to the already assembled furniture in the back of the room, and quickly found it.

On the surface, it looked exactly the same as always, but in fact, this was my Bel Gear Ver. 3.0.4, with a brand new set of multi-layered wards, various utility enchantments to regulate my body temperature and vital functions, and a new and improved mask that, among other things, hid my eye color.

Once I was geared up, I walked over to the table again, where Raven Boy was still frozen in place, and gestured for the tiny shoggoth.

"Come here, Pudding-kun. Let's practice."

"Pudding what?" the motionless Knight muttered, still in a daze, and apprehensively watched as the tentacled ball hopped over to my side and jumped onto the mask I held out. In a moment, its body shimmered, and then it seemingly disappeared, forming a thin lining on the inside of the mask.

Satisfied, I faced Raven Boy again and told him, "Also, for the record, don't even think about betraying me." I waited for a beat, then innocently added, "No, seriously. Don't. Also, make sure you don't accidentally reveal that I'm Bel to anyone either, or you're going to regret it."

"I know," he spat back, though his voice was considerably less confident than just a few minutes ago. "I've heard your threats the first time."

"Threat? Nah, it's just an advice," I said, still as innocent as thirteen popes (and one anti-pope) combined. "For example, let's say you tried to tell Rabom over there that 'Leonard Dunning is Bel of the Abyss'." He was only looking at me funny, so I said, "Come on, try. It's going to be funny."

Raven Boy was still apprehensive, but under my urging, he finally muttered, "Leonard Dunning is B—"

Without warning, his face blanched, and his left hand clawed at his chest while the other was grasping for support, ultimately finding it in the back rest of the nearby chair.

After a few gasps, he groaned, "My chest..?" only to regain some of his color and growl, "What's going on?"

"What? You tried to betray me by announcing my secret, so what did you expect?" I shot back with a not-at-all-self-satisfied smirk. "Also, for the record, you should refrain from writing it down, recording and then replaying it, or playing the relevant words in sequence during a game of Scrabble. I recommend you don't even think about it, really."

"But why are my Oaths reacting? How could you do something like that?"

"Why are you so surprised?" I asked back with a not-at-all smug grin. "After all, I. Am. Your. King."

With that, I placed the Bel mask on my face, and a moment later, I reappeared in a side-room adjacent to Crowey's bed chamber.

...

"Was that too cringey?" I whispered under my breath, but since I was all alone, I naturally received no answer. After some further contemplation, I concluded that it was definitely a little cringy, but in my defence, when else was I ever going to use a line like that? Let's just blame it on the Bel suit influencing me, and leave it at that.

But speaking of my getup, I lightly touched the mask, then shook my head, first lightly, then with all my might. Thanks to the patented Shoggoth Lining (trademark pending), it remained firmly attached to my face like it was glued there, and it was only a little bit itchy. Honestly, the tentacled horror collective kept proving to be more and more versatile and useful by the day, and I had a hard time deciding how I felt about it.

However, this was neither the right time nor place to consider, so I set my wig, straightened the lapels of my coat, and proceeded to Phase through the large building one room at a time.

The Inannas, against all common sense, somehow had an estate that was bigger than the Dracis mansion, with an honest-to-goodness stone wall surrounding the whole compound. I had already done a couple of scouting expeditions around the place, so I knew that beyond the walls, there was a small yet relatively modern village. All in all, with all the 'commoner' Abyssals and the Fauns patrolling the streets, this one castle-town alone probably had about two-, potentially as high as two-and-a-half thousand inhabitants.

That might not have sounded like a lot, but this was just a single settlement centered on a single family that had more Abyssals than I have seen Magi and Draconians combined. As far as the number game was concerned, the Abyss certainly had an advantage over the rest of the world. It wasn't a wonder they were considered a huge threat in the past. Luckily for everyone, and especially me, they couldn't move out into the wider world all willy-nilly without using a Mana Well.

Just like the one in front of me.

In the heart of the Inanna castle stood a single, fortified room that easily matched the defenses of Lord Grandpa's office. Needless to say, such things meant nothing to me. The circular walls around me were covered in a web of intricate, geometric patterns glowing with a faint blue glow, barely visible compared to the fiercely shining object in the middle.

Floating mid-air over a round marble pedestal, about two meters off the ground, was a very slowly rotating object that kind of looked like a large Rubik's cube with a black frame and only blue squares. Along the circumference of the platform, there were dozens of small, iridescent crystals emanating a thin, transparent ward, both containing the item within and protecting it from the outside.

Looking closely, I could see a myriad of thin threads, like blue spider-silk, streaming upwards and forming a semi-transparent spiral entering into a metallic receptacle set into the ceiling. It was an oddly solemn sight that kind of reminded me of the time I first looked at the mountain in the middle of the island from the top of the Ferris wheel. There was something simple yet primal about it, and I had to admit it was pretty impressive.

I didn't come here to just stare at it though, so I collected my wits and stepped closer to the fabled Mana Well of the Inannas and cracked my knuckles. Normally this kind of situation was calling for a subtle approach, with all kinds of esoteric phantom-limb-based finagling, but this wasn't a normal situation.

Simply put, I was about to enact some preventative measures tonight. The next day was promising to be hectic enough already, and since I was already aware Crowey and his posse were planning to start operating on the outside again, I decided it was prudent to make sure they wouldn't start causing any mischief just yet. Since they needed to use their Mana Well to leave the Abyss, the simplest way to sabotage their plans was by making sure they couldn't use it. Taking the Mana Well itself was, unfortunately, out of the question, as it would spark an instant civil war, and I wasn't a fan of volatile situations like that. Thankfully, I had an alternative.

So, let's say we had this immensely important relic that's both the source of the ruling family's power and their only way of interacting with the world outside of this copy of Critias. What would happen if some dastardly ne'er-do-well sneaked into its closely guarded vault? For a start, the whole household would lose their collective minds over it, and there would be a big investigation that would result in the item being unusable for at least a couple of days. I knew, because that's exactly what happened the last time I had sneaked in here and wrote a jaunty little limerick about the size of Crowey's nose onto the floor using three whole bottles of ketchup.

Now, here's the million Jen question: what would happen if someone actually triggered aaalll the defense mechanism around the relic at once? I'd reckon there would be quite an uproar and it would definitely take the Mana Well out of commission for at least a week, time enough to resolve all currently ongoing plots with breathing room to spare.

And the quickest way to do that was to simply reach out and—

"Wait, stop!"

I froze in place, hand still extended when the panicked voice of a young woman hit my ears. My body immediately tensed up, but my sixth sense didn't warn me of any danger, so as I eased up, I slowly turned my head towards the owner of the voice.

"If you touch that… it will activate the defenses," the short young woman in a gothic dress, with a very familiar pair of thick-rimmed glasses and an even more unique black-and-pink hairdo, warned me with a mousey voice, still keeping her distance. At first, I hesitated about how to respond to her, but as I let my outstretched hand down, she sputtered, "A-Are you Lord Bel?"

My body froze again, but my mind immediately kicked into high gear.

"'Lord'," I repeated after her with an amused voice and moved my hand over to touch my chin before I let out a dramatic sigh. "Such a… nostalgicword." I could hear her audibly gulp, which was pretty funny, all things considered, so I relaxed my posture and asked, "How come I didn't hear you come in, Lady Tajana?"

"I-I fell asleep over there, and…" she answered reflexively, only to pause and stare at me blankly for a second. "Do we… know each other?"

"Do we?" I asked back, then pretended to think hard before I shook my head. "No, I'm afraid we haven't been introduced yet. Oh, how much I loathe linear time…" I whispered the last part just loud enough for her to hear, then loudly cleared my throat and did a well-practiced scraping bow. "You may call me Bel of the Abyss. It's a pleasure to finally meet you."

"Y-Yes," she sputtered again and she hastily punched her skirt and did a clumsy curtsy, "I'm Tajana Sukkal of House Inanna. I-It's my pleasure to make acquaintance, Lord Bel."

While we only exchanged simple greetings, I had already dedicated all my grey matter to analyzing everything about her, from her word choices and her tone to her body language, and soon my lips parted in a pleasantly surprised smile.

Without further ado, I Phased closer to her, starling her in the process. She tried to step back, but by then I already reached out and grabbed her hand, and gently pulled her back. Once I was sure I already had her marked, I let out a low chuckle, further confusing her.

"Lady Tajana. I came here today intending to retrieve what is rightfully mine, yet it seems unbeknownst to even myself, I might have come to meet you instead."

"W-W-W-W…?"

"Ah, but the time is not right!" I exclaimed and let go of her hand before casually walking back towards the Mana Well in the middle of the chamber, only to dramatically turn around and open my arms wide. "Not yet, but soon!"

"What… do you mean?"

"By the next time we meet, you will know," I told her with an extra playful voice, and raised my open arms even wider. "Today, I shall only request one thing from you. Tell your false liege that I shall benevolently allow him to hold onto my property a little longer. However, the day will come when I shall reclaim what is mine, and on that day, he will have to make the most important choice in his life." With that, I forcefully clapped my hands, and just as I did that, my two phantom limbs struck the pedestal at the same time.

The lights in the room flickered, and a moment later a wave of raw mana washed over me, buffeting my coat flaps and giving me a prickly sensation all over my skin. The alarms sounded at once, right out of a cold war era air-raid PSA, and it didn't take long for the doors leading into the chamber to open up, revealing a gaggle of astonished Faun guards on the other side.

I waited for another beat, just to let the situation sink in, then I added, "Tell him to choose well," before I promptly Phased out of the Abyss altogether.

What can I say? I was many things, but someone who would refuse an opportunity for grand mischief when it was presented on a silver platter definitely wasn't one of them.