The Simulacrum - Chapter 94 - Part 2 (Patreon)
Content
"I'm not saying the auction is going to be fun per se, but it's something I can't just attend alone," I told my dear assistant and helped her set her hair bow straight. "Just smile, and pretend you're having a good time."
"Don't be silly, Chief. We're attending an event together. I don't have to pretend anything."
Hearing that, Elly let out a touched 'Aww!'. As for me, once I was sure the bow was firmly in place, I lightly poked Judy's nose.
"Leave the flirting for later, Dormouse, and focus."
"On what?" the princess inquired with her head cocked to the side, which looked just a tad incongruous with the regal red gown she was wearing at the moment. She wasn't just randomly overdressed though; we were just about to head to the auction venue, and we had to look the part. In particular, Judy wore a lighter yet similarly extravagant dress tailor-made for the occasion, while I settled for the same fancy coat suit Sebastian already loaned me once during the banquet.
More importantly, I raised a brow at my draconic girlfriend's question and told her, "Focus on appearing confident, regal, and not expecting any kind of dramatic conflict to happen at all."
"One of those things is not like the others," Melinda noted, appearing from the next room over with a makeup kit in her hands. When she noticed I was staring at it, she asked, "Does future young master also require eyeliner?"
"Nah, I pass."
Saying so, I turned to the standing mirror on my left and adjusted my coat's lapels.
"You keep saying that, but you never tell us what's about to happen," Elly griped, but stopped once her chambermaid began working on her.
"I can't. We need your natural reactions for plausible deniability."
"And because you want to see us being shocked and confused for your own amusement," Judy noted on the side, and I responded with my flattest, "I'm legally not allowed to confirm or deny such accusations. Please consult my lawyer."
"Please, Chief. Legal disclaimer jokes are so last Friday. You really need to keep up with the times."
"Really? What's the new hotness then?"
"People dancing in the middle of traffic while wearing cartoon animal costumes." She paused for a long beat, then added, "Don't look at me like that. I don't get it either."
Exhaling an only slightly baffled 'Huh.', I turned to the mirror again. I looked pretty good if I say so myself, but in all honesty, I would've preferred going with my usual attire. Unfortunately, the old butler would've never let me attend the auction like that. Something about upholding the family's image or whatnot. Maybe it was for the better though, as I was planning to gather quite a bit of attention tonight, so I figured might as well look good while doing it.
All of a sudden, dad-in-laws voice called out from the room where Melinda came from.
"Kids? Are you ready?"
"Just a minute!" the princess replied, seemingly without moving a single facial muscle, allowing Melinda to keep working on her makeup.
"That's rich coming from them, considering we've been waiting for them for half an hour now…"
While I grumbled, Judy sidled over to me and whispered, "Are we going to see Bel tonight?"
"No spoilers."
My dear assistant clicked her tongue, but before she could say anything else, Elly twirled between us.
"How do I look?"
I inspected her from head to toe while doing my best art house critic impression, then stated, "You're about nine percent more ravishing than usual."
"Only nine?"
"In my defense, you set a pretty high bar by default."
My draconic girlfriend froze for a moment, but then she let out a strange, straining noise.
"Uuu... I so want to kiss you right now, but I don't want to smudge the lipstick..."
"Don't worry princess, you'll have the opportunity later."
I flashed my winningestest smile at her, then winced as Judy unceremoniously raised her long skirt and kicked me in the shin.
"What was that for?"
"You stopped me from flirting. You're not allowed to turn around and do it."
"That's... a fair point, I suppose."
Right at this point, the Dracis parents entered the room, flanked by Sebastian and the twin maids.
"You look lovely!" Emese exclaimed with a smile that threatened to split her face, and she didn't look half shabby either. If I had to pinpoint why I thought that, it was probably due to her taking a page out of her daughter's book and getting her hair done up into drills as well. The low-cut black dress also helped, I supposed.
Abram, on the other hand, looked pretty much the same as usual, lionesque sideburns and all.
"If everyone's ready, how about we get going? It's almost four!"
The auction was going to start at five, so we weren't late by any means, but there was a small reception planned for mingling, and dad-in-law insisted that it was fashionable to be early on occasions like this. I always thought it was the other way around, but since I had things to do before the bidding started, I had no reason to argue.
Nobody else did so either, so our little group headed out and got into the family limousine. Not the everyday limo, but the fancy one, with the white leather seats, wide-screen TV, and brightly lit bar in it. I waited for everyone to get comfortable, and only once the car got moving did I clear my throat.
"Do we have the catalog?"
"Obviously," Sebastian scoffed and retrieved a folded-up piece of white paper from his breast pocket.
Papa Dracis leaned over to take a look at the contents, and he raised a single brow at it.
"Son? Is this really all that you need?"
His question wasn't entirely unreasonable. While the list was quite long, I only had a handful of articles circled. It wasn't out of frugality thought, but simple practicality.
"It's only the raw materials that interest me. The rest are either curios and collectors' items I don't want, or artifacts, and since I have my own manufacturing base now, I don't really need any of those anymore."
"That makes sense," Sebastian noted in a detached tone before pointing at the cluster of encircled items at the bottom of the page. "However, I can't help but wonder why you would wish to gamble on these pieces."
What he was referring to were items in the 'unappraised' category. As far as I've heard, it was a tradition of the Chinese Draconians, where they would put items of unknown origin and/or utility up for auction. Since they were practically black boxes, the bidders couldn't know how much they were worth, but that was kind of the point. It gave the event a sense of gambling, since while most of these were junk, there was a chance some long-lost, valuable artifacts, or even exceedingly rare materials could be mixed in between them, and getting one of those would be the equivalent of hitting the jackpot.
To put it in a more Doylist way, it was a classic trope set up so that the main character could get a lucky break, or if they had some kind of long-range appraisal ability, they could even sweep all the valuables, causing all the onlookers to be in awe and all their enemies to vomit blood or what have you. I had no idea why the latter was a thing. It sounded decidedly unhygienic.
"It's just for appearances," I told them offhandedly, then emphasized, "More importantly, do you still remember what I said about item number fifty-nine?"
"We should bid on it up to a hundred thousand Jens," Emese responded as if she was reading from a cue card, her eyes skimming over the page in Sebastian's hand until she found it. "It's an unappraised stone, isn't it? Do you really want it that much?"
"No, but it's complicated," I answered with my best mysterious smile, and it drew a chuckle from Elly. It was nice to have a receptive audience.
Abram, on the other hand, only shrugged and said, "Items of that sort usually sell for less than five thousand, so with a budget of one hundred thousand, we should be able to easily win the bid! Don't worry, son! We'll get it for you for sure!"
Dad-in-law's enthusiastic grin raised a bunch of red flags in my head, and after considering it for a moment, I decided to let them in on the deal, lest he gets too fired up and buys the damn thing on accident.
"Wait. Just to be clear, I said you should bid for it 'up to' one hundred thousand. Don't go any higher than that."
"Yes, we understand, but it's not worth overthinking. Who else would ever go that high?"
Emese sounded rather dismissive, so after another round of brooding over the issue, I decided to let them in on the hustle.
"Naoren will." The three adults in the car looked at me funny, so I clarified, "All right, listen closely because I'm only saying this once: we are setting up a bit of a charade. I didn't want to tell you ahead of time, because I needed you to act naturally, but I guess you have to know at least the basic outlines. In short, Naoren is going to bid for the same item, and I want you to match his bids until we reach the limit, then fold."
"Are you trying to artificially raise the bids, my boy?" Sebastian commented in a critical voice, so I shook my head.
"Not exactly. It's more of a show for the masses, and I'll give Naoren his money back after everything's over."
My explanation only made the incognito dragon's brow descend even further.
"My boy, are you implying that item fifty-nine was put up by you?"
"Yep. Anonymously, of course."
"And you're bidding on your own item."
"Yep again."
"And it's all just a ruse."
"Yep, yep, and yep."
Our exchange was followed by a long beat of silence, ultimately broken by the princess's amused chuckles and Judy's sigh.
"Don't worry too much. It's just another one of the Chief's nefarious, underhanded schemes of sporadic secretiveness."
"Hey! It's properly secretive, thank you very much," I objected, only for Elly to suddenly snap her fingers.
"Oh, I know this one! It's that joke when you only take offense at the last thing in a list of pejorative things." She puffed out her already well-emphasized chest and smugly added, "I did my research!"
Shaking my head, I was just about to let her down gently, but then I rewound the last couple of seconds, and uttered, "It wasn't supposed to be that but... you're not entirely wrong."
Hearing so, the princess let out a delighted giggle, while my other girlfriend only rubbed her temple. As for me in the middle, I could only shrug awkwardly at the rest of the group still looking at me funny.
"Since the young missuses seem to consider this situation par for the course, I believe we have little to worry about," Sebastian noted with just the barest hint of an acidic aftertaste in his voice, and he pocketed the list. "However, I recommend we get ready. I believe we are about to arrive at our destination."
Following his line of sight, I also glanced out the windows, just as our limousine rolled into the driveway of the island's biggest casino. As far as I knew, it was also its only one. It was also technically a hotel and a convention hall, because Timaeus's legislation was unkind to pure gambling dens, to put it mildly.
There wasn't much of a crowd, as while this wasn't a strictly private event, only the people who were directly invited and their close affiliates knew about it. In practice, that only meant the various Draconian families and a handful of Assembly delegates from various Schools.
After exiting the car, we were swarmed by a small army of young valets, and under their guidance, we walked up the stone stairs leading to the main entrance. As for the building itself, it was definitely grandiose, with its red-marble-covered reception area and golden chandeliers, but not exactly to the level of something you'd see in Las Vegas. Though again, if Judy was to be believed, my measuring stick for extravagance was getting steadily twisted by being exposed to the Dracis family and their antics, so I'll leave the description of the place at that.
"Are we late?" the question slipped out of Emese's mouth, seeing the fairly empty foyer, prompting Sebastian to take out his fancy pocket watch.
"It doesn't seem so. Maybe the bidders are just really eager to get the auction started." He shrugged, and after pocketing the watch, he arranged for the hotel staff to lead us to the auction venue.
On the way, we met a few familiar faces I could vaguely recall from the banquet, but I couldn't connect any names to them, and they seemed to give us a large berth as we reached our destination, a large hall with an elevated stage in the back. Considering the seating arrangements and the balconies around the place, it was probably not the convention hall, but more of a small theater; not the kind where a young actor would overact about how he knew poor Yorick while waving a skull around, but the kind where a magician with eighties hair would saw his assistant in half. In any case, only the stage was well-lit, with the audience area covered in a hazy twilight. On closer look, the whole place had a kind of ethereal shimmer to it, so I figured there was some kind of recognition-inhibiting magic in play to maintain a semblance of anonymity among the participants on the ground floor.
That didn't apply to us, as we naturally had our VIP seating in one of the balconies, and for good riddance, as the only reason I was attending this event in the first place was to draw attention. Speaking of which, I glanced around and quickly found my co-conspirator. Our eyes met across the hall, and after a long beat, he began to walk towards us. I quickly gestured to the rest of our group to slow down and made sure we lingered long enough around the entrance so that he could catch up to us. He did so pretty quickly, with some company in tow.
I didn't really mind (the more eyes, the better), but the fact that he was followed by both Zihao and Xiao was still an unexpected development.
"I was under the impression you didn't plan to attend this auction," Naoren said without greeting me first, his appearance even more impeccable than usual, which said a lot. His tone, on the other hand, sounded distinctly wooden.
Ignoring it, I flashed a daring grin at him and answered with, "What can I say? I never had the opportunity to throw money around without a care in the world, so I figured I might as well give it a try."
"Is that so? Do you not feel any shame about using clan head Abram's money around as your own?" he asked back, still sounding flat. In retrospect, maybe we should've practiced this ahead of time after all.
We were only getting a few stray glances from the other attendees though, which was an unexpectedly slow start. That just wouldn't do, so to rev things up a little, I dramatically crossed my arms and scoffed.
"I don't see how any of that is your concern."
"Maybe not, but I cannot condone such frivolous behavior."
"Bah. Frivolous my ass. You're just trying to bother me because you're still jealous," I responded with my voice raised.
"How dare you talk to my brother like that!" the younger brother suddenly exclaimed, turning a couple of heads our way. The little odango-girl on the other side, however, was only glancing between me and Naoren with confused eyes. For the time being, I ignored her and focused on the louder guy, and gave him a provocative smirk.
"Oh, hey there, whatshisname. I barely recognized you without my knee in your back."
"Youuu…!"
Zihao clenched his fists while growling, and I noted with satisfaction that our interaction was now being sneakily watched by dozens of people. So far so good.
"I will not stand for such provocation!" the younger brother continued on and pointed a finger at me while simultaneously taking a martial arts stance.
"Oh, but you will. I mean, what else are you going to do?" I continued to smile my most disdainful smile at him and then took it up a notch by exhaling a small scoff. "That's right. We both know you're under my weight class, right, big bro?"
This time I turned to Naoren, only to nearly falter when I noticed the puzzled look on his face that pretty much screamed 'Was this part in the script?'
Alarmed, I silently mouthed 'Come on, man! Improvise!', but if anything, it only made him more confused. Then, contrary to my expectations, instead of the fuming Zihao, it was the little girl who literally jumped between us.
"Stop! Why are you doing this?"
"Doing what?" I blurted out, genuinely baffled by the development.
"Senior Leonard and big brother Naoren are friends! Why are you fighting?"
"We aren't exactly friends, are we?" I directed the provocative question at Naoren, but he was still suffering from BSoD, so he only gave me an ambivalent nod. In the meantime, the little girl repeatedly stomped her feet, so I turned back to her. "You see. If anything, we're bitter rivals."
"Rivals?" she asked back with teary eyes.
"Y-Yeah. We are in all kinds of disagreements about things. Like Elly, and… erm, leadership, I guess. You know? Those kinds of things."
"But you aren't! You were so friendly the other day, and you drank tea together, and—" Things were going south fast, so in a last bid to keep things on something resembling being under control, I stepped over to her and clamped a hand over her mouth.
"Girls, support!" I whispered quite loudly and pulled the still protesting odango-girl over to our side. Zihao tried to intervene, but Elly followed up on my request without any question, and she held him back, with Judy morosely joining her to back up the princess's brawn with her brains.
In the meantime, I gestured for the Dracises to shield us from the onlookers, but only Sebastian got the message, and he stood between us and the biggest group of gawkers with the kind of stoic detachment you'd see on a tired parent's face when they're playing along with their children's whims. I did my best to ignore him and instead raised my free hand's index finger in front of my lips.
"Psst." Xiao gave me a hurt look, but she stopped struggling, so I took my hand away from her face. The moment I did that, it became obvious that she was pouting with the power of a thousand exploding stars.
"Senior Leonard! What's the meaning of this?"
"Listen, it's a long story, but the point is that Naoren and I are making a scene on purpose."
"You... You are?"
"Yes."
"But... why?"
I hesitated and considered my words for a while before I told her, "We want to have a big duel. You know? The kind in a Purple Zone and everything."
"Does senior mean a Restricted Space?"
"Yes, that one," I said with a nod. "Unfortunately, due to our respective positions, we can't just have one whenever we want, so we came up with this solution."
"Oh. Ooooh! I understand!" Her eyes, sparkling like a Christmas tree, opened wide at once, instantly washing away her previous sulky expression. "Senior Leonard and big brother Naoren want to deepen your friendship through exchanging blows, but you needed to have proper justification, so you are pretending to fight in public!"
"Yes, that's the gist of it," I whispered and put a finger in front of her mouth again. "It's a secret though, so don't shout."
The little girl blinked and then covered her own mouth with both her hands, followed by a stifled giggle and a much quieter, "I understand! I will help you!"
"You will?" I blurted out in surprise, and she gave me a determined nod made slightly less reliable by the way she still had her hands covering her mouth.
Before I could say anything else, the little girl turned on her heel and, with a single leap, wedged herself between the princess and Zihao, just as the two's argument was reaching its peak.
"Xiao Xiao, get behind me!" the hot-blooded younger brother commanded her, but she stood her ground and turned to Naoren instead.
"Big brother Naoren! Senior Leonard told me you have no virtue and that Xiao should join him before you lead her down the path of evil! Is that true?"
"Um…" The bespectacled clan head hesitated and glanced my way. I was about as baffled as him, but in the end, I shook my head, so he responded with, "No, that's not true."
"But senior sounded like he was really serious! Weren't you, senior?"
This time she directed her puppy dog eyes at me, and I suddenly understood why Naoren had a hard time responding to her off the cuff.
"Well, yes. We really don't agree on many things, and—"
"This must all be a biiig misunderstanding!" Xiao cut me off with a solemn frown and turned to Naoren again. "I don't think this can be resolved by words alone! You two must communicate your true thoughts and feelings through your fists! It's the only way, isn't it, big brother?"
"Yes… Yes, that's right!" the bespectacled man exclaimed, relieved that he finally found a familiar line in the script, and he pointed an accusatory finger at me. "Leonard Dunning! You have forced my hand! I hereby challenge you to a sacred duel, in accordance with the laws of the Feilong clan!"
"A duel, you say? Sounds nice to me!" I responded with my best daredevil grin, made only slightly more strained by the little odango-girl beaming at me with a pure smile saying 'I helped!'.
"It would be ungainly to interrupt today's event with our personal vendetta, and the preparations require time. I shall meet you tomorrow, in front of our hotel."
"I'll be there. Just make sure you won't have any second thoughts and run away," I responded, and Naoren scoffed back at me, thought if anything, he sounded more relieved about finally being done with this exchange than offended. Thankfully the small gaggle of onlookers we gathered by this point didn't seem to notice, and after exchanging meaningful looks for the last time, he theatrically turned on his heels and walked away.
"W-Wait, brother! We still haven't resolved the thing she said!" Zihao rushed after him, one hand pointing at Judy, while Xiao only giggled and gave me a cute little wave before following after the other two.
As for our side, Emese soon let out a pent-up breath and muttered, "What even was all that?"
"The plan. I mean, about sixty percent of it," I told her a touch awkwardly and gestured for everyone to follow the valet upstairs before I continued. "Or rather, closer to forty percent. We were supposed to have a long back-and-forth argument about Elly's engagement and the unity of the Draconian bloodlines and whatnot, but we kind of had to improvise. It happens."
"I feel less confident about this nefarious plan of yours by the minute, my boy," Sebastian quipped at me, earning him a sharp glance.
"As I said, unpredictable things happen all the time. The important part is that we set up both the duel and the upcoming bidding war. As for the rest, I'll take care of it."
"Good. And I'll take care of that annoying Zihao tomorrow!" Elly declared, nostrils flaring in anger.
"… Okay, what did I miss?" I asked Judy, and she let out a soft groan.
"Nothing much. Just the usual threats. Also, he called me a 'nóngnú', and it's apparently an insult about my bloodline. Elly took offense to that."
"I'm so going to beat him up in the ring," my draconic girlfriend continued to fume with a glare that could make water boil faster.
While I was about ninety percent sure she wouldn't have the opportunity to do that, considering the guy was Josh's rival, I still gently ruffled the crown of her head and whispered, "Give him hell," just as we entered the balcony, and continued to spoil her even after we sat down.
Things after this point proceeded fairly smoothly, though I only paid minimal attention to the auction. My part was done, so I simply lounged around with the girls while my in-laws did all the heavy lifting. I mean, this day was faaar from over, so I figured I deserved to relax at least a little bit before jumping headlong into directing our grand finale, didn't I?