Home
Artists
Search Recent Random
Posts
Search DMs Popular Hash Lookup Tags Random
Importer
Import FAQ
Register
Partychan Telegram Live Sex ThePornDude
Home Artists Posts Import Register

Street Cultivation 2: Chapters 26-27 (Patreon)

Published:
2019-12-01 00:10:01
Imported:
2020-10

Content

Some romance this time, so I hope you guys are on board. It's pretty far from conventional anime antics, but I tried to do something more grounded with the related tropes. If it's not for you, there's a bit of an adventure coming up in the next set of chapters.

-

(Moved to RoyalRoad.)

Comments

Anonymous

> It's pretty far from conventional anime antics, but I tried to do something more grounded with the related tropes. I don't understand. At no point did he stammer out any ridiculous lies or slip and fall into an unrealistically-buxom chest. How is this an anime love triangle?

Anonymous

I enjoy the realism, although wonder just how he can be so thick. His self esteem must be low, but this is the only area in which it's even slightly apparent, so it reads as odd to me. I would think he'd be able to identify what's up without doubt; you've established Rick has a high EQ.

Anonymous
>>29554254

For me it feels like the protagonist is saying, "Whoa. What could this black spherical object be? It bounces... it's heavy... it has three holes in it. I always see it rolling and knocking down white miniature bollards with red stripes at the top. There's a waxy sheen to its surface. Hmm...."

Anonymous
>>29554254

Everything else feels so real and believable that if I were across from Rick I'd be like, "Dude, are you just being wilfully blind or what? She just called you a friend for the first time, setting boundaries for herself, after she hid her face to conceal her disappointment and self-loathing for not asking you out first like she has wanted to for ages."

sarahlin
>>29553502

Haha, I kind of used most of my ideas on the first joke chapter, but a joke chapter along those lines might be fun.

sarahlin
>>29554254

Thanks for your feedback. I was trying to write him as overcautious, not wanting to assume that every woman he meets is into him. He's also not meant to be very good with women, though you're not the only one to feel that he comes off as an idiot. I may have gone too far in trying to make it clear to readers what was really going on.

Anonymous
>>29554254

Gonna be a thousand percent honest here: as a guy who, in his teenage years, took any friendliness from a girl as a sign of romantic interest, I overcorrected *way* too hard as a young adult and missed a ton of stuff because "obviously she's just being friendly, don't read too much into things." So his own "nah, it doesn't mean anything" felt very psychologically realistic. It's trickier in stories, because the law of narrative conservation means that you're only showing us things important to the narrative, therefore we, the reader, know that whatever is going on is significant, in a way that the characters do not. So even very reasonable in-universe logic can get people facepalming about what a doofus they are.

Anonymous
>>29554254

This is a good point; I've definitely had moments where someone was sending torrents of signals that I ignored because of one single thing they said that indicated they weren't looking for x or y. I would trust that utterance to an absolute fault.

Anonymous
>>29554254

Bgz has a very good point, which fits with Rick's fear of messing things up. He finally has a good social group and friends that build him up; it makes sense he'd be fearful and reserved. He's however becoming more comfortable and open, so I would hope with his EQ he will or would have the courage to have a frank conversation about these things instead of making assumptions. I find it curious though that he isn't supposed to be good with women. He is amazing with Melissa. Their banter is so fun that it could be flirtatious if they weren't siblings. Plus, brothers who get along with and are close with their sisters like that understand women better than average, since one of their best friends, their sibling, is one. I think, if you were to and are open to making changes, having Rick see the signs, have some doubt as to whether Lisa (or earlier, Emily) were into him, think he should talk to her about their dynamic but he puts it off because he's scared, has other priorities, is a bit selfish, and logically doesn't understand how she could be into him---would show a consistency with the high EQ you've denonstrated he has, and would provide another area of character growth for the kid from the trailer park who's still learning how to create healthy adult relationships he's never seen modelled before by anyone close to him.

sarahlin
>>29554254

Hmm, that's a reasonable point. It may be possible for small edits to emphasize Rick's character in such a way that people who think he's too thick will like, without making him too suave.

Anonymous
>>29554254

Exactly. Very small edits---two sentences per section would be more than sufficient. He may be good with people, including women, but he's bad at forming deep connections or seeing his non-transactional value to others, especially when it comes to romance (which I'm guessing he's never quite had time for aside from brief HS flings). That would jive with his high EQ and he'd be by no means suave. I think he's been pretty inadvertently suave so far to be honest, but I'm guessing from this exchange he'll do something to muck it up soon enough.

Anonymous

I can see Rick also having a reaction like this. In his head since day 1 and I don't even know what Lisa looks like (I just imagine Lisa Hayes-Hunter), let alone if she's attractive to him. He's seen her as a friend he owes a lot to really the whole time. Maybe I'm a touch off base.

Gabriel

I really enjoyed the pacing of these chapters!

tehlu
>>29560221

He considered dating her and his sister even encouraged him once but he didn’t want to mess up a good thing partly cause he owed her and partly cause he didn’t want any rejection. Incidentally, it’s the exact same situation Emily except, she don’t play no games and went for it. If not he’d default to friendship again. But really, his reaction isn’t really soo out of place. Especially since he has very low confidence in his own attractiveness/worth.

sarahlin
>>29565001

I'm glad to hear you did! I enjoy writing this kind of stuff to balance out the action.

Lamsey
>>29560221

If you're wondering what Lisa looks like, she's the blonde woman in the blue top on the left-hand side of Sarah's Patreon header. I assume you can work out who the others are!

Anonymous (edited)

Comment edits

2021-07-30 18:25:57 > The one potential answer that occurred to him was that she was upset that he was dating Emily, but that made him feel arrogant and self-centered. It was possible that she had her own issues in life to deal with. Given how they'd both been busy with work lately, they hadn't had much chance to talk. Maybe a bit too thick there...? Otherwise, great chapter.
2019-12-03 07:49:35 > The one potential answer that occurred to him was that she was upset that he was dating Emily, but that made him feel arrogant and self-centered. It was possible that she had her own issues in life to deal with. Given how they'd both been busy with work lately, they hadn't had much chance to talk. Maybe a bit too thick there...? Otherwise, great chapter.

> The one potential answer that occurred to him was that she was upset that he was dating Emily, but that made him feel arrogant and self-centered. It was possible that she had her own issues in life to deal with. Given how they'd both been busy with work lately, they hadn't had much chance to talk. Maybe a bit too thick there...? Otherwise, great chapter.