The Ballad of Gluttony - Envy (Patreon)

ENVY, born twinly, both thin at the start 

Were eternally tethered a tail’s-length apart.

 And each one believed herself cursed as a sin—   

For the grass was much greener there under her twin.

The one with long, curly hair wanted it cut 

The other wished locks to cascade to her butt. 

And in this and a hundred more trivial traits 

They each thought their life sucked and their sister’s was great.

Gluttony stepped in and started some fun 

Supplying unlimited snacking – to one. 

Soon ballooning, her victim looked less like a twin 

Than a chunky “before” with an “after” who’s thin.

“It just isn’t fair!” says the one on the left, 

“I’ve been fattened and fed to this horrible heft, 

While she stands there, flaunting her flexible flame! 

Why must I be a blimp while she stays just the same?”

“It just isn’t fair!” says the one on the right.   

“While she stuffs her fat face in ecstatic delight, 

I’ve been standing here, starving, half dead on my feet! 

Why must I go hungry while she gets to eat?”

And so Gluttony left them both madly obsessed 

With the much better deal that their sister possessed— 

Each one of them perfectly filling their role 

As one miserable half of a miserable whole.