SDJ - Dirty Pictures (Patreon)

Notes Before Listening

The long awaited audio drama featuring Shaun Durand-Coffer is here, along with a whole host of content warnings for this one. Please be mindful of the following content before listening or reading:

• Emotional Abuse, Distress
• Familial Abuse
• Religious Trauma
• Sex Shaming
• Shame
• Swearing

Credits

Scenario & Writing by Sauce

Editing by Johan

Cultural/Sensitivity Consultation by AnekoFoxx

Audio Editing by Kay

Shaun Durand-Coffer voiced by LewdZaxk

Uncle "Abe" Abraham voiced by Dashawn Ricks

Olivia "Liv" voiced by Primalcontent

Transcript

[ The scene opens with a frazzled (use phone call filter for ringing + Abraham dialogue) ringtone, as Shaun waits nervously for his call to be answered. He’s dialed his uncle, Abraham Coffer, and anxiously anticipates the older man’s voice on the other end of the line. ]

[ Shaun taps his fingers nervously on a wooden desk as a clock ticks softly in the background, accentuating the tense and quiet atmosphere. ]

[ There’s a click on the other end of the line, and the muffled cough of an older man. Abraham answers, coughing and clearing his throat before he speaks.]

Abraham: ( Blase, preoccupied. ) *old man coughing* Coffer’s Funeral Home and Mortuary Services, this is Abraham Coffer speaking. How may I assist–

Shaun: ( Interrupting )  –Uncle Abe?

[ An unnerving silence fills the air. ]

Shaun: …Uncle Abe, it’s Shaun–

[ The old man’s voice snaps through the other end of the line. ]

Abraham: –I know who it is.

Abraham: ( Muttering) I can recognize the voice of my own nephew, thank you.

[ The soft sound of rusting papers interrupts the awkward silence. ]

Shaun: …ahem!

[ Abraham takes his time before acknowledging Shaun. ]

Abraham: …Well? Was there something you needed?

Shaun: (Downtrodden, disappointed) …A-Ah. No. No, I didn’t need anything, per say…

Abraham: ( Irritated ) Then why are you calling me? What is the point of this? If you are simply going to waste my time–

[ Shaun gives a pained laugh, attempting to make light of the situation. ]

Shaun: ( Miffed ) …Ahaha… You are… My uncle. I shouldn’t need a reason to call you. That’s kind of how family works.

Abraham: Well I can’t imagine you’re calling because you miss me.

Abraham: ( Muttering ) …Haven’t called in how many years…

( Preparing to be vulnerable )Shaun: ( His voice cracking and vulnerable ) Actually… I am. I’m calling because… I… I miss you. I wanted to Check in. See how things are, over there.

Abraham: ( Dismissive ) Tst fhey’re juine… I’m doing just fine. Is that it?

Shaun: N-No, that’s also not it…

Abraham: Then spit it out. My time is very precious, Shaun, and there isn’t much of it left.

[ Another awkward pause emanates between the two. Shaun is having a hard time breaking through emotionally, and his uncle’s blatant dismissal clearly frustrates him. Nevertheless, he tries to lighten the mood with a chipper demeanour. ]

Shaun: ( Cheerful ) …The reason I was calling was to… well, to say hi. But I also had some good news you might be interested in…?

Abraham: Has our Lord and savior Jesus Christ risen?

Shaun: Not exactly…

Abraham: Bah. Then it can’t be all that good.

Shaun: …Well– I’m moving back to town.

[ Another stretch of silence fills the air. ]

Abraham: Why? What’s there here to do? You’re not moving back here with me, young man. I’m too old to be taking care of you, and–

Shaun: I’m not moving in with you. I-I’m just saying, I’m looking at places. I’m ready to buy my own house. I’ve been approved for a mortgage, I’ve got some listings lined up, and–

Abraham: Then why? To come take care of me? I don’t need that, Shaun. I’m a grown man who doesn’t need to be spoon fed… And I sure I don’t need you to come change my diapers.

Shaun: ( Frustrated ) I’M NOT TRYING TO MOVE IN WITH YOU. CHRIST–

[ After his outburst Shaun immediately falls silent. He knows his uncle does not like him taking the Lord’s name in vain. After a moment Abraham speaks, his voice quiet and stern. ]

Abraham: …I better not have heard what I think I just heard coming out of your mouth.

Shaun: I’m sorry, I-I’m… I’m so sorry… Go– I mean– Gosh. F– …Frick. I-I don’t know. I just wanted to tell you. I thought maybe you’d…think it was nice? Me, moving back.

Abraham: I don’t have any particular feelings about that. You’re an adult now, you do what you please. You’ve made that plenty clear to me over the years.

[ Shaun is speechless. ]

Shaun: …I thought it would be nice for you to know that I’ll be around again. For whatever reason.

[ Silence. ]

Shaun: …I-I was hoping maybe we could connect, and talk about some things.

[ Abraham, in turn, considers the offer in another quiet moment. ]

Abraham: …Talk about what, precisely?

Shaun: …Talk about the business? About… Mom?

Abraham: … About your damn filthy movies?

[ The atmosphere is tense as Abraham spits out the words. Another awkward silence follows. ]

Abraham: Yeah, I’ve seen ‘em about. They’re everywhere on billboards and TV. Your wolf men, and your floozy women, practically naked and draped all over the place.

Shaun: I wish you wouldn’t talk about it like that.

Abraham: How else should I talk about it? My nephew, the dirty movie maker! Making films about sex and drugs and sacrilege–

Shaun: It’s not like that.

Abraham: You know, I still have trouble explaining to the nice ladies at church when they ask what my lovely nephew is up to… I have to hide your nasty little secret. The fact that you’re out there making your– your satanic pornography–

[ Appalled by the implication, Shaun frantically interrupts Abraham. ]

Shaun: ( Aghast ) It’s not porn!! I’ve told you so many times, it’s not porn!

Abraham: That’s exactly what it is! Filthy pictures with devils and demons and debauchery…

Shaun: ( Angry ) They’re romance stories. There’s not even any sex–

Abraham: It’s in the message. It’s all in the message. You are part of the problem, Shaun. Your movies are teaching young folks that it’s okay to bed Satan! You’re leading today’s youth away from the light of God, and straight into the fiery abyss of Hell! These young people will not see the heavenly kingdom, and YOU, Shaun, YOU will have to take responsibility for that!!.

[ A chilling silence emanates briefly, before Abraham continues his speech. ]

Abraham: You’re going to Hell, Shaun. My nephew, my only flesh and blood left on God’s green earth, would sooner make dirty movies for Satan than give me the peace of knowing that when it is my time to enter the Kingdom of Heaven, his soul will be saved eternal damnation.

[ Exhausted, Abraham lets out a prolonged sigh, cutting through the otherwise still air. ]

Abraham: I never understood why you could never take Christ into your heart, Shaun. But I had no clue you hated him so much. Hated me so much.

[ Suddenly, Abraham erupts into a fit of violent coughing. ]

Abraham: Where did I go wrong? What did I ever do to deserve such a heathen for a nephew?

[ Silence. ]

Shaun: …Fuck it. I-I don’t even know why I called, anymore.

Abraham: I don’t know either. You need to put up this nasty, filthy little hobby of yours. You’re selling your soul, for what? Money? It’s dirty money, Shaun, and your mother would NOT approve of it–

[ No longer holding his anger in, Shaun slams a heavy fist on his desk. ]

Shaun: ( Furious ) I swear to FUCKING GOD.

[ The air is still for a moment, before Shaun voice begins cracking. ]

Shaun: ( Angry, on the verge of tears ) This shit… This shit right here. This is why I don’t fucking call you.

Shaun: Don’t lecture me about what mom would say. I know what she would say. You don’t know anything about her!

[ A prolonged silence escalates the tension. ]

Abraham: …Goodbye, Shaun.

[ A dull click signifies that Abraham has hung up. After a moment, Shaun chucks his phone at the wall. There’s an aggressive crack as it smashes to pieces. Shaun breaks down. ]

[ Despite attempts to restrain himself, Shaun simply can’t hold back his emotions. He’s not bawling, though the man is clearly having an intense moment of grief, sadness, anger, and confusion. ]

Shaun: *non-distinct sobbing*

[ A door opens, and the sharp clicking of heels echoes through the flat as Olivia walks in. She’s clearly preoccupied, holding a conversation over the phone. ]

Liv: Okay… Yeah. Yeah, thank you so much! We appreciate the opportunity to work with you. Feel free to email me the lodging details and we’ll…

[ Liv catches sight of Shaun crying, her demeanor quickly switching to one of concern. ]

Liv: …We’ll work things out from there. Listen, I’ll get back to you later… Something just came up that requires my immediate attention. Yes, of course. Alright. Ciao!

[ Liv disconnects the call. ]

Liv: …You called him, didn’t you?

Shaun: ( Sniffling ) Fuck. Yeah. …I-I’m sorry. I know. I shouldn’t have…

[ Taking a deep breath, Shaun does his best to compose himself. ]

Shaun: It’s no big deal. …Really.

Liv: It sure seems like it is. Do you want to talk about it?

[ Liv approaches, sitting on the edge of the desk beside Shaun. ]

Shaun: No, I don’t need to. It’s fine. It’s my fault for trying, even though I knew it wouldn’t go anywhere.

Liv: Shaun. Honey. It’s not your fault for trying… It’s his fault for not listening. For not understanding. For not even trying to understand.

[  A quiet moment emanates between them, though unlike with Shaun and Abraham, this silence almost feels warm. ]

Liv: If you don’t want to say anything, that’s okay–

Shaun: ( Brusque ) No. No, I… I can’t explain it. I don’t know what I’m supposed to say. I made a stupid choice, and wow– the thing everyone’s been saying would happen, happened. I ignored you all. Stupidly.

Liv: …Okay, let’s not phrase it that way. Shaun, this isn’t about being right or wrong. This is about figuring out what’s best for you.

Shaun: ( Emotional, choking up ) I thought that maybe…If I proved successful enough, my uncle would see I’m doing something good. …And maybe, if he was proud of me, I’d…

[ Silence. ]

Shaun: …I just want him to be proud.

Liv: I know.

[ Another quiet moment of solidarity passes between the two. ]

Shaun: I miss them both. I miss them both so goddamn much. Why am I even doing this if they aren’t here to see it, and he doesn’t even fucking care? What’s the point of any of it?!

Liv: …Well. Maybe the point is what it does for you?

Shaun: I know… But sometimes… I feel so small. I feel like… Like it really all means nothing without the audience who understands it. Sometimes it’s like my parents are the only ones who these movies are made for, and they’re both…

[ Silence. ]

Shaun: ( Tearing up once more ) …He called my work dirty. H-He said that… He said that my mom would…

[ Shaun swallows, hard. ]

Shaun: ( Incredulously ) He called it PORN. Can you believe that?

Liv: For people like him? Anything showing above the ankle is porn. He probably gets the sweats when he sees a lady’s collarbone.

[ She gives a dry chuckle, trying to lighten the mood. ]

Shaun: I’m not making porn, am I? I-I’m not trying to make porn… I just… I want to make what I want to make. It’s not intended to be dirty, or gross.

Liv: ( Sternly ) Hey. Listen. You don’t make porn. But even if you did, how is that his fuckin’ business? Mm? I know a lot of great people who make porn, and their uncles aren’t out there making them cry. Ultimately, it’s none of his business what you make. Besides. Like I said. It’s not dirty.

Shaun:  Why do I feel dirty then? Why is he so good at making me feel like I’m whoring myself out? I don’t know. Maybe this is all a bad idea.

Liv: Your audiences say otherwise. You think you got this far because people don’t like your work? People love your work, Shaun. Look at this, I just got you booked as a guest for Cosmic Con. Yeah? They want you so bad, they’re comping your flight out there–

[ Shaun interrupts her, flatly. ]

Shaun: I was already planning to go. We already bought the tickets.

Liv: They don’t have to know that. Anyway, my point is that people like your shit. You’re good at it. Romance and horror, who would have thought? You’re doing good work, and you’re making things people enjoy. You just have to remember why you’re doing it… and who you’re really doing it for. ‘Cause it sure as shit isn’t your washed up old religious nutjob uncle.

[ Shaun takes a quiet moment to consider Liv’s words. ]

Shaun: …It’s funny. My uncle… Abe… H-He has this weird, fucked up memory of mom, right?  , or at summer potlucks, and she’s like… Six. And she’s got those little black buckle shoes…

Shaun: …But she wasn’t like that. Not really. She and dad, they were like… Morticia and Gomez Addams. Partners in crime. They were outcasts, and they had plenty of struggles, but it was beautiful…

Shaun: …I want something like that. I want somebody I connect with on that level. And… I like that my movies talk to the outcasts. I like that they remind people that love exists even when there’s sad things, or scary things…

Shaun: …But Abe… Fuck, I-I don’t even know. I love him. I WANT to love him… I literally don’t have anybody else…

[ Shaun begins to cry once more, but this time it’s a controlled, calm bout. He’s wistful and mourning, but he remembers who he is. ]

Shaun: Why did it have to be him, though? Why am I not enough for him? Why do I have nobody else?

[ A deft silence once more falls between Shaun and Liv. ]

Liv: …You have me, yeah? You have… a lot of people. You might not be related to them by blood, but they love you. And Shaun,babe, I love you and I know you wanna love your uncle… But he’s a fucking asshole. And a prude. And the way he talks about the things you love isn’t okay. That’s not normal.

[ Shaun nearly chokes at Liv’s blunt words, letting a smile crack on his lips. ]

Shaun: …Yeah. Yeah, he’s… He’s something.

Liv: He’s missing out. And it’s okay to be sad. I’m sorry I can’t give you back your actual family. If I could, you know I’d pay for overnight shipping.

Shaun: ( Chuckling ) Wow. So much love.

Liv: Yeah, so much love. You’re a goddamn floof ball. And when I took you on, it wasn’t because you were making a shit load of cash, then. It was because you had something special, and interesting, and good. You have good things to say with your work, Shaun…

[ Silence. ]

Liv: …Are you sure you want to move back there? Even if he’s around?

Shaun: …Yeah. I want to. I-I have a lot of… unfinished business. I want to live somewhere I’m familiar with. …I grew up there. If I’m gonna be flying around, doing all this bullshit… I want to come back to a place I know. That’s where mom and dad are, and I want to make a forever place for us there…

Liv: What are you going to do if you see him?

Shaun: …Nothing. That’s my home. I was there first. And he’s not going to chase me out of it.

Liv: …Alright. I’ll support you then. Your team has got your back.

Shaun: …Thanks, Liv.

[ Liv lets out a playful laugh. ]

Liv: Any time, so long as you’re paying, haha. In the meantime… You want some other good news?

Shaun: ( Cheerful ) Yeah… Hit me.

Liv: Sweet baby Moonpie’s been cleared. You’ll be able to travel with her on the flight.

[ Shaun’s exhaustion is evident in his voice, though he does his best to maintain the now-pleasant atmosphere. He lets out a soft yawn as he speaks ]

Shaun: ( Tired ) …That’s nice. She’ll feel better about that. Thanks, Liv.

Liv: It’s no problem. But FYI, I’m not your manager. …Don’t ever make me your manager.

Liv: But…

[ Liv embraces Shaun in a tight hug. ]

Liv: …I’ll always be your friend. And I care about you so much. I’m really going to miss you…

Shaun: I’ll miss you too, Liv. I’ll have to make sure there’s a guest room in my new place.

Liv: If you throw in some room service, maybe.

Shaun: Hell yes. Actually– OH! Oh, we could have so many sleepovers. I’ll be living near the sets, so I imagine you’d probably be there a lot.

Liv: Maybe. I pick the mattress then, because you know how my back is. I can’t stand those shitty hotel beds, and you practically like to sleep on rocks–

Shaun: Yeah, yeah… Done. Sold.

Shaun: But yes. I want you, and Mike, and– OH. Yes. Naomi. All of you! You should all come over. We can watch movies together, and then we can go MAKE movies together, and– OH! Snack runs! I can show you this one gas station, right? There’s like…A hot cheese fountain. And you take a bag of spicy fries, and–

[ Liv interrupts Shaun with a sound of disgust. ]

Liv: Oh no! No, I don’t think so. What’s spicy to you would probably kill me.

Shaun: I will educate you… YOU WILL LEARN THE WAYS OF THE SPICE MASTER. Aa- Fuck, I’m so excited now!!

Liv: ( Chuckling ) Good. You should be! Now come on. Let’s get out of here… It smells like sweat and energy drinks. How long have you been in here? Jesus…

[ Shaun gives Liv a playful nudge as the two head toward the door. ]

Shaun: ( Teasing ) Hey, as my uncle would say, don’t take the Lord’s name in vain!

Liv: Oh no… Don’t start on me with that crap. Come on, let’s get out of here.

[ Liv and Shaun exit, the door creaking shut behind them. The soft ticking of the clock echoes for a few brief moments after they depart before it suddenly stops, filling the lingering atmosphere with a still silence. ]

[ END SCENE ]