Warden Ingo (step by step + rambly art thoughts) (Patreon)

This is a piece that has been on the back of my mind for a good while now! The idea was like... As part fighting type, hisuian sneasels showed concern to a lost Ingo...with time passing, and a change of habits and food choices... they were able to nurse him back to good health! Who would've thought a few changes could do that?

I know I compromised myself to less complicated pieces and compositions for now, but dunno this just happened...? I've been since the 18th trying to give birth to this piece....... my finishing and momentum is all over the place... my hands feel alien to me. It's like I don't know how to draw anymore... WELL... but I DID finished it!!! yay!!!!!!!! I'm so lost...

This all started with this scribble! I was talking to a pal that really enjoys Ingo, which pepped me up to just "vomit" the idea on paper, before I lost it... You can see it had EVEN MORE elements than the finished piece so I'm happy I eventually streamlined it!

Then I did a sketch over it! I usually work with a different flow, with a rudimentary sketch comprised of shapes instead of lines. I did this with the middle portion of this piece though, and I felt a huge difference.

Lines... what is it about my lines, and shapes, that don't feel mine anymore? This was the step that the piece look the prettiest to me, though.

A color sketch! I'm still so confused!! I wanted a green/purple split for this piece. But it feels I can't pick colors just right.... or maybe I never was able to?

Shadows! I'm trying to go back to using sharp edges with my shadows. It worked, kinda... but it doesn't come naturally as it used to.

You can notice my "rendering" option was the quickest one... the classic multiply shadow technique. I have been using it for rough commissions too. I think I want.... to spare myself a bit. It's already difficult emotionally and mentally working on any piece that isn't a commission, so I wanted to make it flow as smooth as possible. On the topic of the commission part - it's because it feels I'm borrowing my hands, I gain a strong sense of responsibility to please another person and the gains are way more palpable...

I have been opening older pieces almost everyday, zooming in, zooming out... why does my art doesn't look like that anymore? 

What is it that I had?

What is it that I lost?

I don't understand anymore. It feels that person died somehow, and the new one sucks hard at this.

 If you have any thought on anything related to these, I'd love, love, love, love to hear from you!