slowing (Patreon)

hi, thank you all so much for being here.

i’ve been quieter on here lately because i can’t seem to think anywhere except for where i am. i can not seem to plan or think in any kind of straight line. and yet, i keep wondering, what’s actually wrong with that? absolutely nothing is wrong with that. but maybe it could be more helpful if i was able to? maybe it would be more helpful for me to fit into the world in the way it is designed if i could.

but i don’t want to fit in to this world the way it is. i don’t want to do any of the things i’ve been told i should.

and yet, not moving through the world like that causes seemingly more pain. and yet, seemingly more grace and beauty and awareness for who i am and where i am.

i feel like i keep getting younger.

i feel like i keep learning how to let myself dissolve away into nothingness.

i have so many more photos i would like to share on here. i have so many ideas and writings i want to just send out into the world in any way i can, but my mind doesn’t seem to let me think like that right now. so for now i’ll just keeping making and maybe one day i’ll be in a state where i am able to put it somewhere cohesively. or maybe not.

either way, thank you for being here, and i hope to share much more sometime soon, once i have gotten to a state that is a little calmer and a little more breathable.