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Half in the Bag: Verotika (Patreon)

Published:
2020-04-07 00:49:45
Imported:
2021-03

Files

Half in the Bag: Verotika

Jay and Mike watch Verotika! The embarrassing feature film debut from metal icon Glenn Danzig. So you know what that means... it's time for a quarantine watch party! Invite 100 to 200 of your best friends over to your 500 square foot apartment to all watch it together!!! Close all the windows and pass around the same glass of beer for everyone to share! This film is so terrible you'll rub your eyes in disbelief! You'll laugh so hard you'll cough all over the extra large bowl of pretzels everyone is grabbing from with all their filthy unwashed hands! What a treat! Could this episode have been 10 minutes long? Sure. But why not breath in the same air with all of your sketchy friends in an unventilated room for an hour!

Comments

Anonymous

Thank you !!!

Anonymous

ENJOY A COLD ZOMBIE DUST TODAY!!!

Darren Pierce

Thank god or Rich Evans or something

Declan

This is gonna be good. Loving the scruffy look lads.

Anonymous

Clicking play with the white hot fury of a thousand suns.

Mike St Louis

Never heard of it but I have now. Will give it a watch.

Joshua Mannix

Mike your hair is beautifully disheveled.

Santino

holy shit

Anonymous

Shot with an Arri Alexa. Damn. Damn damn damn.

Tony Dupre

Desperately needed this today

Anonymous

I compare every French accent I hear to the ones in this movie.

Santino

assfuck is my special tea

Anonymous

Glenn Danzig the singer is making movies now? COVID-19 has turned the world upside down.

Neil Peart, Lord of Drums

OK, so who did you kill ten years ago to get establishing shots of that house for all your HITB episodes?

Lauren R

They're six feet apart? Does this mean they're not gonna kiss on this episode? :(

Alex

Took me a while to realize that Jay is doing a Misfits hair thing.... that is what he's trying to do, right?

Anonymous

#eyesondanzig #eyesonbreen

Tony Dupre

Why did Mike say "ventilators" like a Bostonian? Haha

Bort Ward

I don't drink. Watching you guys drink makes me want to drink ZOMBIE DUST BEER.

Anonymous

What did Mr. Plinkett say in that call at the end? It sounded more unintelligible than some of those French accents in this movie.

James Robertson

Eyes Without A Face is a great movie. This.. is not about Eyes Without A Face

Anonymous

Thanks, guys. Needed this today.

Gareth McMahon

ah it looks glorious garbage, keep it coming guys

Anonymous

The last episodes of Picard definitely broke RLM. 😔

Anonymous

I was going to recommend Verotika for a BOTW spotlight. This will do.

Darren Pierce

All I know about Danzig is from Aqua Teen Hunger Force: "Listen to me as hard as you f-ing can!"

Anonymous

Bald cop Sargent guy was Mike Barnes from Karate Kid 3!!

John Brophy

It's good to see four-armed Goro from Mortal Kombat is still getting work.

Peter Varga

wow Patton has a great taste, Laphroaig is a very nice scotch! don't waste it!

Peter Varga

also, in the scene at 6:07 the guy in the middle looks exactly like Mike!

Marvin Falz

When "Mother" was a hit 25 something years ago, all my friends loved the song. I hated it. But what I hate more is how unrealistic that last segment of Verotika is. Virginal girls are missing and no one calls the cops and informs the media. Sends a tweet. Well, anyway, time to desinfect the screen, I don't want to infect anyone reading this. I mean, I could be a carrier. I wish this attempt at a joke comment would carry a joke.

Anonymous

Mike grew a week-long beard in preparation for this skit. The level of dedication and professionalism in these guys is staggering.

AllGoodNamesRGone

I really enjoyed this episode. Maybe it was because it felt more like a Best of the Worst since the movie was so terrible, but the opening sketch was pretty funny too.

Aaron11011

A half in the bag that should be a best of the worst. It is the end times

Anonymous

That opening skit was great! So good! Loved this episode

Anonymous

This movie looks genuinely terrible. I don't believe that an adult made it.

Manuel Johnen

I really, REALLY wish, musicians whose songs and records I enjoy, wouldn't make movies... and I also don't want actors to record any albums. Thank you very much...

Anonymous

From that middle segment, calling people "pretty pretty" and face trauma references probably come from the movie Barbarella (1968), it looks like it could be a deliberate nod. It's on Prime. Around 58:00, the titular Barbarella (referred to as Pretty Pretty by The Great Tyrant), is trying to save Pygar: "decrucify him or I'll melt your face!" [confused pause] "My face?! My beautiful face?". God I love that movie. https://youtu.be/l9272OadMrI

Manuel Johnen
>>34838456

Do you think Danzig ever saw "Eyes Without a Face" and said to himself "Eh, that was pretty good... but it would be better with tits!"...? :/

Anonymous

In the Second World War, Entertainers were valued very highly. At this time, you all at RLM are valued equally as high. Stay safe, and continue to entertain the World with your great content. Love you guys, and stay safe.

Daniel de la Vega

I said I'd never forgive you guys for making me watch Cabin Fever, but this was so hilariously awful that it turns out I was wrong.

Anonymous

Why does my email say “patron only video” when it’s not?

Manuel Johnen

I find this thing endlessly fascinating. From the clips I've seen in several reviews, I'm not entirely convinced that Danzig has even an rudimentary understanding of such things as editing, lines of action, lighting etc... say what you will about Rob Zombies terrible white trash geekshows, but those don't fail on a purely technical level like this does. I'm pretty sure Danzig has a healthy knowledge of horror movie history and seen lots of stuff, like those colorful old Bava movies... but didn't he understand that they looked the way they did, because they were lighted in a certain way, and not because some bimbo wore an awful pink wig...?!? :/

Chris L

If you find yourself, like me, in the embarrassing position of knowing Danzig's catalog before you ever heard of this, then you will agree that none of what you see here is surprising. Of all those big 80s/90s shock-rockers (including Rob Zombie, Marilyn Manson, Gwar, etc, in this category), Danzig was unquestionably the most up-his-own-ass. For example, I don't think Rob Zombie ever really intended for his fans or the media to truly believe he was some kind of satanic Charlie Manson acolyte. But it wouldn't surprise me if Glen Danzig would fight you if you suggested to his face that he wasn't an actual demonic sex-god. I think he truly sees himself as some kind of occult Jim Morrison, by way of HR Giger and William Blake. And he probably still has just enough groupies hanging on to keep that delusion alive, and just enough money to self-finance a low budget film project. And that kind of delusion, together with just enough money (but not enough to hire anyone who actually knows what they're doing), as all RLM fans know, are the magic ingredients to a great bad movie. The only surprising thing is that he didn't play the albino spider himself and fill most of that segment with flattering shots of him six-arm flexing while scowling.

Anonymous
>>34844045

Meanwhile, Dana White says he has secured an island to host UFC. Mortal Kombat IRL!

Kurt

I wonder if the Countess Bathory segment happened because Glenn Danzig watched some Jess Franco movies. Maybe he watched "The Bare-Breasted Countess", and when the countess was taking a bare-breasted stroll in the woods while Franco slow-zoomed in and out on her privates, it hit Danzig: this would be even cooler with blood and bathing! When you're trying to be slightly better then Jess Franco and you don't succeed, that's a sign that maybe one of your hyphenates needs revoking.

Anonymous

As a french canadian, I'm amazed of all the weird french accents in Verotika. There's a uncanny valley vibe, it just make no sense at all.