Hungry for Apples? (Patreon)

This is an older caption. I wrote half of it up to the lab explosion like a year ago and just ran out of steam to finish it. Well I finally got that steam when my frustration with the ACTUAL caption I was trying to write didn't work out. Anger is a hell of a motivator. Anyway, this is actually an extremely fleshed out version of a quick little TG/TF story I read ten or more years ago. The actual story was little more than a hundred, maybe two hundred words long and had very little detail and was full of grammatical errors. No idea who wrote it as the listed user is now 'unknown' (meaning their account was deleted), so no way to give them credit for the base concept.

The title is a Rick & morty reference. The one I was going to use was dumb and I decided to change it to this at the last second.

TEXT

Kevin and Nathan were two amateur inventors, self-proclaimed ‘genius’ engineers that would one day revolutionize the world (and become filthy stinking rich in the process). The fact that they were barely out of high school and hadn’t even considered college never crossed their minds at all, they just KNEW that they were destined to make something great. And while it was true that both gangly, nerdy looking boys WERE intelligent and imaginative…With a lack of true understanding behind the advanced scientific principles they were meddling with meant that sooner or later an accident was bound to occur. Especially with both boys currently fighting over such pedantic things as ‘whose name came first in the corporate title’ or ‘man that girl is hot’ or even something as simple as trying to decide just WHAT their next likely failure of a project was, and whose house the work was going to be done at. They weren't even really friends so much as just two individuals that had drifted together over a lack of other friends and a shared interest in science. The two would-be mand scientists were currently in Kevin’s basement, which was filled with odds and ends of strange looking metal and electrical contraptions scattered among half-empty soda cans and potato chip bags.

“I told you Kevin, mom WON’T LET ME! You blew up the garage the last time! And Dad is making ME sand down all the scorch marks!” Nathan said after his taller friend had suggested they once again work at his house. Nathan couldn't believe he was wasting ANOTHER Saturday with Kevin. Maybe his parents were right, all the taller boy ever did was get him into trouble and-

“I BLEW UP!? Get over yourself, Newton! YOU’RE THE ONE who added those funky chemicals! I was handling the electrical box!” Kevin shot back. He often did this, not wanting to take responsibility when things went wrong, even though in the back of his mind he knew that increasing the voltage had caused the minor explosion. It’s not like the fire actually spread or burned down Kevin’s house! It was totally unfair that now HE was getting punished from utilizing Nathan’s larger garage and more importantly, all of Nathan’s dad’s tools!

“Uh huh, sure, Einstein” Nathan said with a defeated sigh, “But it doesn’t matter, the Neon-Paint Applicator was a dud and my parents have said it’ll be a cold day in hell before you get to even come over for NON-science stuff. And plus they’re starting to get a little naggy about me enrolling in college this fall and-“

“YOU CAN’T!” Kevin’s eyes went wide in alarm. College!? That would ruin EVERYTHING! He’d lose his partner and then HE’D have to enroll and they’d both get tied down in student debt and soul crushing jobs and…and-NO! The more stick-like of the two boys ran around his basement, throwing together contraption after contraption and activating invention after invention, cranking them to maximum power. "YOU'LL SEE! ONE OF THESE WILL WOR-" Kevein roared before a deafening explosion drowned out his voice and a bright, white light filled the basement as Kevin felt a wave of heat roll over him as he started to feel...smaller. When the feeling finally faded the young man tried to blink only to find that his eyelids refused to move! He tried to move, to adjust to his new surroundings despite the still blinding light in his eyes. Kevin tried to open his mouth to speak but much like his eyes, couldn't move a single muscle. He couldn't even groan! Had he been paralyzed? But that is when he felt it. Gone was the cold, hard floor of his basement; it had been replaced by something soft and...warm? What, exactly, had happened? What if he'd been in a coma or something and was in the hospital!? And where was Nathan!? Had his research partner, his friend saved his life or had he been caught up in the explosion and paralyzed as well? But soon the ringing in Kevin's ears began to fade, and the motionless boy was VERY confused as to why he could hear the sounds of...the beach? Suddenly a TRULY massive shadow fell over his locked vision, blocking out the oppressive white light! It took Kevin's eyes a moment to adjust but It was then that he noticed the sky above him, a brilliant, clear blue stretching upwards with no end. The white form of a seagull darted between the blue sky and the huge shape that had blocked out the sun, and the sound of waves gently crashing against the shore filled his ears. It WAS the beach! Had he somehow invented some form of teleporter like in STar Trek! He had done it! He had invented something! And holy shit, he was going to be SO rich! If only he could figure out why he couldn't move! Kevein tried once more to lift his arm or wiggle his toes, but his body refused to cooperate. Definitely a setback if teleportation caused some form of long term paralysis, but surely someone would find him! It was only a matter of ti-

"What the FUCK just happened!? Kev, what did you do!?" A sexy, clearly female voice came from the shape in front of him, and as Kevin's eyes fully adjusted, he could make out just what the shape truly was. Standing over him was an impossibly attractive woman with short golden-brown hair! She was wearing a bright red swimsuit that hugged her curves perfectly, and Kevin enjoyed the show as the woman looked down at herself in shock before two tiny hands slwoly grasped the enormous breasts that hung off her torso and gave them a squeeze. The woman let out a sensual mone and her body shuddered for a moment, her blue-green eyes closing as she bit her plump lower lip. "S-shit!" She gasped after a long moment of squeezing her breasts before she suddenly jerked her hands free of the orbs of fatty tissue, "T-those are sensitive!" The woman took a step back and looked around in confusion before she finally looked down as Kevin mentally cheered in excitement. She had seen him! She knelt beside him, her face etched with concern. "K-Kevin? I-is that you? Can you hear me?" she asked, her voice soft yet urgent. "Blink if you can hear me."

Kevin, of course, could only stare blankly ahead. But ,in his mind, the would-be inventor was screaming. 'HEY! HEY HELP ME! I'M AN INVENTOR! YOU GOTTA GET ME TO A HOSPITAL OR BACK TO MY GARAGE! HEY LADY!' He roared, trying to voice his voice through his frozen body, but his voice never made a sound. It didn't even occur to him, frantic as he was, why the woman knew his name or why she seemed so confused! But his mental cheers and cries went silent as the woman's confused, slightly panicked face turned into a frown as she sat back on the sand, her long, tan legs sinking into the golden grains. And then she reached out with a huge yet slender hand and...PICKED HIM UP!? What the hell was happening!? She shouldn't have been able to pick him up! Kevin weighed at least a hund-

"Why am I even asking," the woman muttered, more to herself than to Kevin, interrupting the boy's panicked thoughts, rolling her wrist as she looked him over. Kevin got an up close look at the tantalizing and gargantuan breasts that pushed out of the swimsuit, but his mind was racing far too much to enjoy it. The woman let out a disappointed and resigned sigh before she reached with her other hand past Kevin's frozen field of vision before the twin of the hand that held him came back into view, holding a bright pink cellphone. The woman's gorgeous face frown as she looked the phone over for a moment, and then with deft ease used her hand to open something on the screen. With a wary glance with those blue-green orbs, she slowly turned the phone around and Kevin's world crumbled. Reflected in the screen was not his gangly, nerdy self, but a bright green apple, nestled in her hand.

"Surprise, Kevin," the woman said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "It's me, Nathan. Or maybe it's Natalie, now? Christ, why couldn't you have calmed down!? We might be stuck like this!"

Kevin's mind reeled with the revelation that his best friend was in the body of one of the hottest women he'd ever seen, and that he was a fucking apple of all things! Nathan? What had happened!? All those inventions, had they actually worked? Clearly they had...Or had they all just contributed to one massive blast of transformational power? Shit. Shit shit SHIT. Nathan would have to rebuild ALL of those machines and recreate the explosion to change him back! Or at least, he HOPED it would change him back! Nathan let out a bitter laugh. "Yeah, it's quite the transformation, isn't it?" Nahan, or rather, Natalie, continued to spin Kevin around in her hands while she set the obnoxiously pink phone down somehwere behind his tiny, spherical form. "One minute, we're arguing in your basement, the next, I'm teleported to this beach in a totally different body! Did you see thel ight too? Jesus, no one is ever going to believe us! Or, well, ME. Crap, what do I tell my folks!?" Natalie's eyes went wide as she looked down at herself once more, panic setting back in once more.

'Just find a way to change me back!' Kevin screamed. He was a perishable foodstuff now! He didn't have time for this!

But then a curious look came over Natalie's face. The panic faded from her eyes as she inspected something once more beyond Kevin's field of view. "Huh. It gave me a phone and a purse...Hold on just a sec, Kev" Depsite his silent outrage, the woman that was his former male friend set the tiny green apple back down on what he could now see was a large beach towel. It dominated most of his vision, but he could still see Natalie, and watched as she began to pilfer through the contents of the purse. "Huh...So whatever you did, it must have done more than just change reality, because look!" The enormous woman pulled a tiny strip of plastic out and held it in front of what she assumed was Kevin's face, "It gave me a driver's license and everything!"

It was true. Even with most of it blocked out, Kevin could see the grinning photo of the woman Nathan had become, along with his new name, Natalie, with his last name attached to it. And his date of birth was wrong as well! Apparently Natalie was three years older than Nathan had been! Kevin's mind raced as he tried to put the equations together. Some kind of quantum field? Had they fallen through the multiverse? Had he invented the Improbability Drive from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy? There were so many possibilities! He just need to get back to normal and figure out how to replicate it so he could see it and be rich! Of course it seemed as if Natalie might have had other plans...

"I guess this isn't all bad...I mean I could have ended up like you! Are you even in there?" Natalie tapped Kevin's green outer skin with a fingernail, leaving a small depression in the apple. Kevin barely felt the impact. "Man, if you're sentient, this must really suck for you, huh?" Kevin silently agreed, "But at least I'm still someone, and still part of my family so it's not all bad! I get this rocking body..." She struck a pose, emphasizing her curves. She leaned closer to Kevin, her lips curling into a wicked smile. "You always thought you were the genius, always blamed me when things went wrong. Well, look at us now. I'm hot, and you're... an apple."

'Yeah, no shit you bimbo!' Kevin snarled, but the rage in his seeded core went cold at the predatory look that appeared on Natalie's face. Her hand engulfed him once more, bringing him close to the terrifyingly huge face that reminded the would-be inventor of how small he had truly become.

"Well, there's no way I could recreate the experiment anyway, I have no idea about half the shit you made and can't remember the order you turned it all on in. Oh well. I guess the only thing I cna do now is enjoy this new life and body I've been given...And a healthy snack!" Natalie's mouth opened wide, and Kevin let out a scream of absolute terror as Natalie lowered him towards the perfect white teeth. It couldn't end like thi-

Crunch.