Chapter 236: Catch-22 (Patreon)

“The first part of this procedure will be washing away bits of Paradox and then resetting the System,” Tyrannus’s tech explained as he worked through the issues they faced.

“We’ll apply a gentle corrosive agent to the combined symbiotic spirit which will dissolve the remains of Paradox’s soul.” He said, pointing at the first machine. “This willinflict damage on Abun’zaul and the System, but they’re both capable of self-repair, while Paradox’s soul is not, without his body.”

“Once Paradox has been cleaned out, we’ll add nutrients and energy, boosting recovery in phases, allowing Abunzaul and the system to recover in lock-step. Once they have recovered to our satisfaction, we’ll extract the foreign hardware.” He pointed at the beautifully amorphous circuits and capacitors shifting around inside the soul.

They’d had a 3-D projection of it, but it’d driven Gary to bite off his own tongue, so only Tyrannus got to look at the whole thing.

Tyrannus had actually been impressed by the sheer balls the kid had had to even consider conducting self-surgery on his own soul, not once, but over a dozen times.

He’d always assumed the hardware Paradox had included to make magic happen had been miniaturized and stored in the young man’s body, but apparently he was absolutely insane.

Make a note to acquire his soul-surgery equipment from his widows, Tyrannus jotted down a quick note as Bill continued the presentation. It was more advanced than what they had here currently, and the dragon could think of half a dozen excellent used for such precision engineering of the soul, right off the top of his head.

Duplicating what he did to Gna’kis, for one.

“Once the hardware is extracted, comes the most delicate part,” Bill the Technician said to his audience of lab workers. “We have to apply pulses of scrambling essence to essentially give the System a factory reset. This is the most delicate phase, as scrambling the System’s essence will give Abun’zaul the opportunity to overtake and absorb the System, rendering it useless.”

“Without the System, we will be set back years, maybe decades, in our attempts to harness Abun’zaul. Gary said, scanning his audience. “Each of you has a packet on potential solutions for how we can inhibit Abun’zaul’s growth. Each of you will choose one or develop your own solution and test it on one of our dozens of regular Mimic souls.”

Stacy Bechard raised her hand.

“Stacy.” Bill said, pointing at her.

“What about destructive resonance?” She asked. “We don’t have a way to target Abun’zaul specifically, but the spirit is fused with the System at every level. We could use a resonance frequency that would create a destructive amount of energy to radiate from the System while we bake it, and use an algorithm to moderate it’s intensity to deal the same amount of damage to both parts. If we can figure out the right frequency, anyway.”

Ah, overload the system with energy and allow it to flow out, splashing Abun’zaul and control his encroachment while the System is being modified.

Tyrannus figured out the equation in an instant and scribbled it down.

“Stacy I don’t-“

“It works,” Tryannus, said, pushing the equation from his tablet to the other researchers. “Triple check my work, then see what we can do about adding it to the scrambler. The rest of you, continue pursuing your assigned tasks, You three. I want you to continue working on disproving the concept. Anything you can come up with.”

“Yes, my lord,” Bill said, pivoting in seconds.

Nobody likes a kiss-ass, but in this case, it sped things up. Tyrannus might be behaving a little impatiently, but he made sure to calm himself and take things slow and rational…and promised harsh punishment if the three assigned to disprove the process didn’t find any problems.

Maybe very impatient. But the waiting has been interminable, and I need to finish this before the Zauberer matriarch has an opportunity to ruin everything.

Immortality purchased from demons was one thing, all it cost him was a few statues of himself and a convenient road paved by the demons themselves.

Unlimited, exponential growth with access to any kind of magic without limits…That was quite another thin entirely.

Once they had all the theory and all the possibilities picked apart, down to the minutiae, which took weeks of painful waiting, they finally began step 1:

Scraping Paradox away from the symbiotic spirit like bits of rotting flesh clinging to a valuable hide.

They set the swirling spirit in front of the first machine, where it swirled with agitated energy, swirling around in its Preserving Crystal container manically like an octopus in a bowl much too small for it.

They flipped the switch and the machine began to do it’s work without fanfare, barely a hum that Tyrannus was fairly sure only he could hear.

He heard the tiniest hiccup, a nearly imperceptible uptick in the machine’s power drain.

Tyrannus’s fist smashed the switch, turning the machine off before any permanent harm could be done.

“My lord, wh-“

“Check the readings.”

The techs pored through the logs, deciphering what he’d already done on instinct.

“The System appears to have surrounded Abun’zaul and Paradox and actively preserved them. it seems as though some parts of the symbiotic spirit are capable of…independent thought?”

The way the tech said it was hesitant, like a man who desperately didn’t want to say something absolutely foolish.

“Is it…still conscious?” one of them asked.

“Let’s find out shall we?” Tyrannus said, his lips peeling back from his teeth in a smile of feral joy.

Looks like it isn’t quite checkmate yet, Paradox.

***Paradox***

“So he’s obviously the System,” Perry said, shoulder to shoulder with Abun’zaul, who looked and acted exactly like him. So exactly, in fact, that he had no idea if he was the real Perry or not.

The System, having grown into their form via spreading into ever facet of their soul until the three of them were blended nearly homogeneously, still had a few distinguishing features:

The willingness to use his body to protect him from a death ray being one of them.

Rule #1: Can’t let Paradox come to harm.

The two of them glanced down at the Perry panting on the ground, the skin and clothing that’d been seared away slowly recovering.

“So…” Perry said, glancing up at himself. “One of us is the mimic.”

“Yup.” Other Perry said.

“By all means, try and eat System.” Perry said. “Show your true form.”

“We both know I wouldn’t do that, therefore Abun’zaul wouldn’t either.” Other Perry said.

“He drops the act to feed,” Perry responded.

“Yes, but only if he feels he has the advantage. Do you feel like you have the advantage?” Other Perry asked, motioning to the lightless void they found themselves in.

“If I were Abun’zaul…” Perry said aloud, thinking it through. “I would probably want to set aside our conflict long enough to ruin Tyrannus’s day. Because that’s what I want to do.

“That’s what Iwant to do,” Other Perry responded.

“Don’t start with that shit,” Both of them said at the same time, eyes narrowing.

“How about this, I’ll be heads,” They both said, manifesting a coin.

“I thought youwould wanna be tails,” They both said. “given how much you like tail.”

They both paused, took a deep, calming breath.

“Alright,” They both said. “We’re just going to have to get used to it.”

Obviously Abun’zaul had gone deep cover and wasn’t planning on emerging judging by their synchronositry…and neither of them knew if they were the mimic or not. They’d just have to grin and bear it.

They both began to pace counter-clockwise around System Perry as he recovered.

“I estimate they would take about two weeks to prepare the first attempt to kill me,” They said. “Judging by what we know of their personnel’s capabilities, and their safety protocols.” They said, swirling around each other with System in the center.

“It’s been two weeks, five hours, twelve minutes and twenty-eight seconds,” System responded from between them.

“Damn I’m good!” They said, pointing at System. “Also, keep a running clock, respond when either of us says ‘time’.”

“Okay.” System said.

“So, assuming my body survived getting its soul ripped out, its quickest route to victory would be getting the contract back from the demon lord and then trading that contract to Tyrannus for me.” they muttered, stroking their chins as they paced.

“But! That’s not a ‘win’, that’s a return to the status quo. In order to win…”

I would probably do some crazy shit. And if the sliver of soul and life-support is anything like me, it’s absolutely going to do that.

Judging by how long it takes for Eugene to reproduce in the numbers we would want…How would I time it to let myself know when it was coming? Nat’s favorite number…

“System,” they said as one.

“Yes?”

“Count down the last ten seconds before fifteen days, three hours, fifteen minutes thirty seven seconds have passed, or one twenty seven PM, june eighteenth,” they said.

“Roger.”

They glanced up at each other.

“This is going to be hilarious. Or sad.”

***Tyrannus***

Tyrannus was working on a counter-agent to paralyze the System, allowing them to wash away the remaining Paradox, when a thunderous sonic boom attracted the attention of everyone, followed by an explosion that rattled the windows and had the lab techs scrambling for cover.

Tyrannus tossed out a scrying spell, surveying the outside of the bunker-like lab.

Outside were dozens of pitch black suits of advanced armor, made for pennies per kilogram and capable of levelling cities.

The dragon grinned.

He could use a warm-up after the disappointment of yesterday.

“Carry on, ladies and gentlemen. I’m going to go…talk to a corpse. Seems like Paradox is the gift that keeps on giving.”

The humans glanced around nervously, some of them looking at the dust falling from the ceiling, while other peeked at Tyrannus himself from the corners of their eyes, pretending to be calm and collected. Humans were flighty animals, and they did their best work under a very specific amount of pressure, and this was not it.

Guess I’ll have to handle it myself…or not.

“Send in the Acolytes.” Tyrannus commanded.

First rule was to rattle the enemy with disposable troops to flush out any traps or tricks. Thenhe could have his fun.

Above their heads, the ground began shaking as impacts that defied the laws of physics rocked the bunker like a boat on an angry ocean.

Techs squealed and hollered in equal measure, trying to find purchase on lab equipment that itself was moving around the room as it shook.

“Careful there, miss.” Tyrannus said, saving Amanda from being crushed, plucking her off the ground  before the oversized equipment squished her into paste.

The impact against the bunker walls definitely ruined its calibration, and it would take several hours of painstaking work to fix.

Luckily that wasn’t Tyrannus’s job.

“Thank you my lord.” Amanda said, the farm-girl-next-door looking blonde ape staring up at him with a worshipful expression.

“My pleasure,” Tyrannus said, setting her back down once the shaking had stopped.

Tyrannus reviewed the scry and saw that the fighting had dwindled down, and it was time for him to make his grand appearance.

“If you’ll excuse me,” Tyrannus said, tiptoeing through the scattered glass and fallen scientists. “I have a revenant to deal with…” He paused, glancing over his shoulder. “If I die, smash the bottle.”

****Paradox****

Perry’s armor had been partially stripped away by the energy-type before he’d been knocked out by one of his backup armors.

The other supers, having been alerted to Perry’s real body, had dogpiled him. only through the slimmest of margins had he been able to disable them all, through a combination of trickery and catching them while their guards were down.

Perry had been completely hands-off with the speedster. His suit had done all the work, though he was pretty sure the speed of the movement had caused his arm to turn to mush inside the suit.

“Really missing that HP right about now,” Perry said with a groan, peeling his arm out of the ruined armor, busting out a glowstick of Astra’s Mending and fixing it.

Under the glow of the spell, Perry’s swollen purple sausage returned to an arm.

BOOM!

The early afternoon light caught Tyrannus’s wings and cast a red hue on the entire battlefield as he launched himself out of the bunker’s heavy iron doors and onto the battlefield.

“Huh.” Perry was willing to admit that the dragon did cut a better figure for statue-making than Perry.

The dragon looked directly at him.

Perry’s palms went sweaty, his heart began racing, and his legs turned to jelly, confused as to whether to flee or freeze. His mouth tasted blood and bile and his heart only went faster.

It felt like someone had a gun to his head.

“I should’ve known it was Karth that swallowed you. Unfortunately trolls all look the same to me.”

“That’s fair.” Perry said with a shrug.

“How did you know I was watching?” Tyrannus asked.

“Norgoth is a spiritual realm, so-“

Tyrannus clicked his tongue. “Rookie oversight. Well, one or two mistakes always seem to slip in there. Life wouldn’t be interesting without it.”

“I think you know what I want.” Perry said.

“And how are you planning on getting it? killing me? Did you bring another nuke?” Tyrannus gestured towards the bunker and the soul trapped within. Both of which would not withstand the amount of damage required to kill the dragon. Even if Perry had brought one, it would be a pyrrhic victory.

“I’ve got a different idea,” Perry said, reaching for the contract.

FWOOOSH!

Sensing Perry was about to do something he didn’t like, Tyrannus unleashed the oldest weapon a dragon possessed, flooding the battlefield with a wave of fire that had obviously been enhanced in some way.

The battlefield was scoured to dirt and ash in a cone the size of a football field with Perry in the center. The fire scoured away any sign of life and left nothing behind but a singed, crumbling suit of armor flaking away from a burned hand clutching a tightly wound Orduun scroll, which had cut through the fire like the prow of a ship.

Perry let out a cough, fairly sure he was missing all of his hair and eyebrows. And a fair amount of skin.

“I had a whole day to study this contract, and it says right here, that you are fucked.” Perry said, his skin cracking and bleeding as he unrolled the scroll. The dragon’s copper eyes widened in alarm.

“Paragraph sixteen, on breach of contract.” Perry said, pointing it out.

“If the undersigned directly attacks the guarantor on their home plane or otherwise engages in a deliberate campaign to diminish their power in any plane, the Guarantor may punitively cancel the contract.”

“You…son of a bitch.” Tyrannus said. “How did you even get that?”

“Traded Gna’kis for it.” Perry said with a shrug.

Tyrannus snarled, smoke and flame erupting from his nose.

“What do you think ‘Punitively cancel’ means?” Perry asked. “Do you think it means ‘death?’”

“I didn’t attack Paradox. I attacked you. You’re nothing more than a life-support golem piloting Paradox’s body. You have no authority to enforce that contract.”

“I’m not paradox?” Perry asked.

“Of course you’re not. A thin film of soul detritus stretched out over a robot won’t fool me.”

It was good enough for the Demon Lord of War, Perry noted.

“If, by that logic, I’m not Paradox, then who is? Perhaps the soul in a jar that you’re trying to put on a leash?”

Which pretty succinctly fell into the category of ‘deliberate campaign to diminish his power’.

“I could kill you right here and now,” Perry said. “Couldn’t I?”

“I could kill myselfright now, and you would be the one in breach of contract. You can’t bring back the dead.” Tyrannus said, eyes narrowing.

“Can you?” Perry asked, cocking his head. “Did you invent a spell strong enough to pierce through all the protections you’ve built up around yourself over the years? Someone as cautious as you? I doubt it. You’re not a frail human. You’re Tyrannus, god-king of the Eternal Empire. Are you even capable of dealing out enough damage to kill yourself? Is anything on Earth, aside from a nuke? I’ll bet you fixed that problem the day after.”

“I could think of a few things,” the dragon said, voice low and angry.

“There is another way to resolve the breach of contract that leaves both of us alive.” Perry said, pointing out another paragraph.

“It says here the breach of contract can be resolved via payment. You can choose to pay me, and if I accept the payment. The contract resets.”

“Now, I wonder what payment I would accept?” Perry said, stroking his chin.

“I despise you.”

***two minutes later***

“There you are, buddy,” Perry said, holding the rather large jar with the symbiotic spirit and what remained of his personhood.

“Do you accept the payment?” Tyrannus ground out.

Perry knew that as soon as he accepted the payment, the dragon would cancel the contract from his own end. The only reason the dragon couldn’t cancel it was because he was already in violation.

He’d probably tried several dozen times since he’d seen the scroll in Perry’s hands.

Once the payment was accepted, the contract would be dissolved, the fight was back on.

Let’s change up the game a little bit. Either stun Tyrannus into not capitalizing on Perry’s temporary weakness, or offer terms he couldn’t say ‘no’ to.

“Hold this,” Perry said, tossing the scroll to the side, where Gna’kis stepped through a dimensional barrier, catching the dragon’s contract and staring at Tyrannus with a vengeful smirk.

Tyrannus’s eyes widened.

“You didn’t…did you cheat the Demon Lord of War? You’ve doomed yourself. You’ve doomed us.”

“Surprise! I never had any intention of giving Gna’kis to the bastard.” Perry said, holding up the bottle to his mouth. “I’m tired of people taking my stuff.”

An instant later, the last razor thin outer layer of his soul was ripped away by the black spell engraved across his body, leaving only the ‘life support golem’, whose final act was to carry through and drink the swirling contents of the bottle.

Paradox wobbled on his feet for an instant before doing Jazz hands.

“Tah-dah!”

Perry sucked in a painful breath and glanced around, taking in the situation. He was standing beside Gna’kis across from Billy in a field of ash, his whole body felt toasty, and the pain was…fairly substantial.

“Somebody catch me up, last thing I remember was ants.”

“I wish to end my contract immediately, and will pay the cancellation fee.” Tyrannus growled.

The rolled-up scroll in Gna’kis’s hand crumbled to dust, and Tyrannus instantly unleashed a cone of flame.

Perry’s dimensional sight could tell that Tyrannus had enhanced the flame with Fate Essence. Even a graze from the flame would make you unlucky for a long time afterwards, and a direct hit would likely consume every potential future like so much kindling. To say nothing of your actual body.

Interesting.Perry thought as the ball of fire approached. It burns potential, among other things. I wonder if he made that based on his observations of the System or if it was independent.

Unfortunately, Perry’s view was blocked by Gna’kis stepping in front of him.

The fire scattered around her outstretched hand, creating a cone of safety inside the maelstrom.

The dragon seemed surprised they were still standing there.

“Did the ‘cancellation fee’ include giving the contract holder a huge lump-sum of power?” Perry asked, glancing at Gna’kis, who looked significantly more juiced up with supernatural power than the last time he’d seen her.

Tyrannus let out a bellow of rage that echoed off the mountainsides before leaping up into the air and flying away.

“You’ve successfully removed his immortality, my lord.” Gna’kis said, watching as the dragon fled.

“Is thatwhat we were doing?” Perry asked, holding his throbbing head, wincing as his burnt skin cracked. “I can’t remember shit, and I feel like someone fed me through a flaming woodchipper.”

“You may have also made some strong enemies among demonkind.” Gna’kis said, glancing down at the ash on the ground. “It’s a shame he canceled the contract. I would’ve enjoyed holding his leash, for a change.”

He patted Gna’kis on the shoulder. “There’s a reason they call dragon hunts ‘campaigns’ Perry said, quoting his grandmother. “Also, when did you get so tall?”