Chapter 45: The Highlight Reel (Patreon)

Perry signed the paperwork that said he would submit to military command, and wasn’t going to sue for anything that happened to him on the wall, handing it back to the woman behind the desk.

“You guys a team?” the clerk asked, dark circles under her eyes. A moment later there was a distant explosion and a bit of dust fell down from the ceiling onto her desk.

She didn’t even blink.

“We’re gonna fight together, yeah.” Perry motioned to the three of them.

“What’s your Nexus Team I.D.?” She asked.

“….crud.”

******

Hardcase was assigned to another section of the upper wall as mobile heavy support fire. Heather was assigned to search and rescue, and Perry got stuck sitting on the lower wall, waiting for something interesting to happen.

As much as they wanted to fight together, Perry was at least self-aware enough to know that going to the wall to volunteer, and then pulling a Karen because they didn’t seat him with his friends was…in poor taste.

Maybe one day I can say ‘do you know who I am?’ but today is not that day.

“Contact!” the corporal shouted, lifting his prawn gun to his shoulder as one of the bus-sized pale monstrosities surmounted the edge of the wall.

“Stand clear, I’m doing a thing!” Perry said, triggering his bread and butter spell.

BFS.EXE (12)

Twelve glowing swords bigger than a man appeared in a circle around him.

“How far can you move those things?” the sergeant asked, weaving through them to stand beside Perry.

“line of sight.” Perry responded. He hadn’t found a max range, just a gradual diminishing of its effectiveness.

“You see its stubby little legs?” The sergeant asked, pointing at the creature’s dozens of wriggling legs hauling it inexorably into the trap.

“Ya.”

“They are damn good at catching on things they shouldn’t. Might even be a Power. When we shoot it, I want you to use your swords to make sure it doesn’t catch on something and dodge the piston. Give it a little extra push, lube up the exit, maybe cut a stubborn leg off.”

“Yes sir.” Perry said in his best impression of military discipline.

It was terrifically exciting at first, but gradually it became rote.

He’d use a wall of swords to shove an errant prawn back into its trap, sever a couple supernaturally sticky legs when they threatened to cling to the piston. Rinse and repeat as Perry covered the five massive prawn traps on his section of the wall.

This is it?Perry thought to himself as he worked.

I should’ve made a giant floating spatula. His swords were getting more using prying and scraping than anything else.

Maybe the sergeant read Perry’s body language through the suit.

“Paradox, you’re making life easy on us,” The sergeant said, clapping Perry’s shoulder. “Boring is the best thing you could possibly ask for on the wall. Excitement out here usually ends in gurgling blood and a lot of good kids not going home.”

“Understood,” Perry said, peering at the sergeant. He looked…mid twenties. Younger than Titan but older than Perry. The rest of the ‘kids’ on the wall were distinctly Perry-aged.

A Lost Generation.Men born in the sweet-spot that made them young and healthy during a High Tide, and eager to be heroes.

Where’d all the old sergeants go? Perry thought, his hair standing on end. You know what? Not exciting is acceptable.

Perry did an excellent job keeping things boring, if he said so himself…

The people to the left and right, however, were very exciting.

“Right side, Paradox!” The sergeant shouted, beating his fist on Perry’s shoulder armor hard enough to get his attention.

Perry craned his neck away from his work as a glorified spatula, eyes widening as his gaze followed the sergeant’s pointing finger.

To the right, the next group over was collapsing, overrun by a swarm of bus-sized prawns.

They were battering up against the final barrier, some of them slamming into the curving wall while other were pushed to the left and the right by the crush of monstrous bodies.

Towards Perry’s group.

“Slow them down until a sweeper can get to us!” the sergeant shouted, pointing at the

“Got it!” Perry lunged to the right flank and brought all twelve of his Big Friendly Swords to bear, finally allowed to unleash their full destructive power.

The BFS bounced off the pale, squishy armor when he tried to chop them, their surface area too wide to penetrate. When he oriented the point of the blade straight up and down above the creature, Paradox was able to shove the tip straight down, pinning the monster to the concrete floor.

Using the concrete floor as leverage to prevent the creature from squishing or rebounding away, Perry was able to skewer the closest prawn that was barreling towards them with hunger radiating from its soulless eyes. The armor finally gave with a tangible pop that perry could feel in his mind.

“Well, that pissed it off.” Perry muttered as the creature began to thrash violently, more angered at the pain than mortally wounded.

At least he’s not approaching anymore.

Unfortunately there were half a dozen more of the bus-sized monsters intent on steamrolling Perry’s squad.

Perry reached behind him and grabbed the handle of the obsidian sword.

Let’s see what this can do.

Perry divided his BFS into four groups of three and used one group to pin down the prawn on the outer left, making it thrash in pain and block a large portion of the wall.

The other prawns were forced to navigate above and around it, slowing them down or forcing them into a bottleneck.

Perry would take either.

He used the rest of the swords to harass, pen and control the movement of the approaching monsters until they were nearly single file, and almost on top of him.

Perry burst his jets and flew forward, swinging the black, shiny blade at the lead monster’s face.

Perry nearly lost his balance as the sword encountered no resistance, and the prawn’s face was cleaved clean off of its body. The massive mandibles clattered to the ground, leaving a bloody stump and half an eyeball oozing white blood.

“Haha, oh, my god, that’s aweso-“

An impact sent Perry flying.

Stars shot through his vision as his armor was embedded in the concrete wall.

There’s some more drain bamage, Perry thought, groaning as he peeled himself out of the Paradox-shaped divot in the wall. It occurred to him that for Astra’s Mending had to see the wound, which meant he either needed to be out of his armor or the damage had to go through his armor.

In short, no relief for potential concussions mid-battle. Dang. Need a fix for that.

Spent too much time spent admiring my work, Perry thought with a scowl, glancing at his obsidian sword buried to the hilt in the concrete like Excalibur.

Back to it, then.

Perry grabbed the black hilt and yanked the blade out, half afraid it would come out as a stub.

It wasn’t even chipped.

Alrighty then.

Perry glanced at the writhing faceless prawn blocking its buddies from approaching, only fifty feet or so away from his squad.

A couple heartbeats of distance for the massive monsters.

Got a few more seconds until they untangle themselves and start charging again.

Perry’s heart was slamming in his ears, so he almost didn’t make out the Sergeant’s voice.

“~dox! Left side! Left side!”

Perry glance back towards the center of their squad, then beyond it, where the group to their left had folded like wet tissue paper.

Perry saw a miniscule spandex-wearing figure bounding off the wall, falling towards the interior of the city.

Running away? That is against the terms and agreements of my temporary tattoo. I’m not sure…if prawns have women to lament them, though.

Okay I can do this, Perry thought, shaking off the momentary punch-drunk silliness. He created a wall with his twelve BFS and shoved the prawns back on the right-hand side with every ounce of mental strength he could muster, while simultaneously firing his jets and gaining altitude, aiming to swoop above the prawns approaching on the left.

The plan was to drag his obsidian blade across the lot of them, peeling them open like an orange.

If there was little to no resistance to the blade, then Perry should take advantage of his mobility to apply the maximum amount of slashing possible.

Perry was blasting toward the left-hand group of encroaching prawns, his blade low, aiming for a quick flyover…when he fell out of his armor.

One instant Perry was in the safety of his armor, and the next, wind was whistling against his skin as he began tumbling down into the roiling mess of man-eating monsters at high speed.

You’re about to die.

Time seemed to stop as Perry’s brain caught up with his situation, pumping toxic levels of adrenaline into his body.

He spotted his sword tumbling out of his suit’s hand while the suit itself veered off to the right, spinning off the edge of the wall and disappearing into the roiling mass of prawn below, likely to be discovered as scrap by beach combers when the sun came up.

Perry hit the ground and rolled, his fingernails throbbing in protest as he broke them off against the wet concrete, trying to slow down any way he could to avoid his sword’s trajectory.

Perry slid to a halt on the rough surface of the wall, inches away from bisecting himself on his own blade, lodged a foot into the floor, edge facing him.

The prawns didn’t stop. They simply kept coming like a pack of wild busses hunting their prey.

Cursing every one of his mom’s gods internally, Perry clenched his teeth, snatched the sword out of the ground and burst into a sprint, aiming for the charging mass of monsters.

Perry arrived faster than the first creature expected. Using every ounce of his modestly enhanced strength, Perry leapt up, drawing in his feet inches above the monster’s mandibles.

They snapped shut with a loud click!

Perry used the mandibles as a springboard, launching himself up and onto the top of the creature’s head, kneeling down to jam the obsidian blade to the hilt in the enormous monster’s neck.

Pop!

There was a moment of resistance as the blade caught against the creature’s ultra-hard spine before finding a gap, popping through the spine.

The creature went limp, but the others were already lunging for him.

***Chemestro***

No training, but good instincts, Chemestro thought as he hovered above the battle.

Had Paradox run away from the prawns, he would have been overrun and crushed. Instead he jumped on top of one with an animalistic level of agility.

That’s borderline superhuman fitness. Definitely superhuman reflexes, Chemestro noted as Paradox scrambled from prawn to prawn, using their massive corpses as obstacles and cover, leveraging his relative size as effectively as he could while delivering devastating cuts with the tinker-built sword that treated prawn’s advanced biological armor like…some soft flavoring agent.

He’d obviously put on some muscle and speed since they’d last met, in an attempt to lesson his helplessness outside of his armor.

Chemestro glanced over at the floating swords taller than a man, fencing off the right-hand side and keeping the prawns at bay. The massive monsters were rapidly circumventing the blockade, since Paradox was unable to give it his complete attention.

Seems to prioritize citizens over his own safety, Chemestro thought, noting that the wall of blades hadn’t rushed to assist Paradox.

With a casual wave of his hand, Chemestro removed the vital organs of the prawns threatening the soldiers from the right-hand side.

They fell silent, their brains outside their bodies.

He cleared the surface of the wall itself, giving the soldiers some breathing room.

Chemestro didn’t want any trouble with Solaris.

Thirty seconds.

Chemestro clicked his timer and watched as Paradox, ran, scampered, jumped and sliced. Several times, Paradox was nearly caught by a prawn, but their barbed mandibles seemed to slip off of him rather than tear him apart.

Invisible armor. Magical, most likely.

Is it the red symbols painted across his body?

They weresuspicious.

It was verystrange that Paradox was not using any new, visible magic since he’d been removed from his armor. Chemestro made a mental note.

Paradox was caught by a flailing tail fin and slammed into the concrete, levering himself into a backflip using his sword as leverage, dodging enormous mandibles for the nineteenth time in the last twenty-five seconds.

That should have crushed him. Definitely has some form of magical protection.

On a hunch, Chemestro reached out with his power and made one of the small red symbols on his back fall away from Paradox.

One of the massive glowing swords ceased to exist.

Interesting. Are his magical abilities coming from outside sources? Perhaps Metalon had it backwards.

Beep beep beep!

Chemestro killed the rest of the prawns as soon as his timer went off, leaving Paradox panting in the center of lifeless prawns.

Chemestro flew down and addressed the sergeant.

“I’m the sweeper, I’ll keep things under control here until the replacements for section fifteen and seventeen arrive.” He said.

The sergeant sagged in relief.

“Damn, I thought our goose was cooked,” he said, wiping sweat off his brow.

Is that…bad?Contextually it should mean something bad. Chemestro logged that as another idiom he’d need to remember.

“You should have fifteen minutes to catch your breath.”

“You heard him!” The sergeant said. “Reload your weapons and police your ammo, then pull out your candy bars and canteens. I want everyone finished eating in five minutes! Johnny, you look spry, run into the wall and get us a pallet with some more rounds.”

A flicker out of the corner of Chemestro’s eye alerted him to an attack.

Three of Paradox’s magical blades were trapped in place by Chemestro’s new protection, which warmed up underneath his hyperweave.

“Paradox, good to see you,” Chemestro said with a faint smile.

Paradox was gritting his teeth, his pulsing temple leaking blood as he tried to push the obsidian through the magical force field surrounding Chemestro.

“You tried to kill me.” Paradox growled.

“Of course not, I arrive just a moment ago and dealt with the prawns as a sweeper, in order of most out of control. You seemed to have your side relatively contained. I don’t know why you left your armor, but it’s not my place to tell another super how to use their power.”

Paradox shouted and went for a punch.

Chemestro slipped through his arm and got his back in one smooth maneuver, looping his arm around Paradox’s neck in a chokehold.

“Now, don’t get angry when I probe my enemies, Paradox,” Chemestro whispered in the Tinker’s ear.

“What is going on here?” A voice boomed, along with a flash of light.

Solaris had arrived.

“Paradox attacked me, so I restrained him,” Chemestro said.

“He tried to kill me!” Paradox thrashed in Chemestro’s grip, much stronger than last time. His neck seemed to repel Chemestro’s squeeze, further evidence of magical protection.

“Let him go.” The salt and pepper-haired super said as he approached.

“Sir.” Chemestro let go and stepped back.

“Paradox.” Solaris said as Paradox turned his back on him, facing Chemestro. “Paradox.”

“…Perry!” Solaris barked.

Paradox flinched and turned toward Solaris.

“Take a seat, you’re benched.”

“But-“

“Now.”

“Sir.” Paradox walked away and slumped down on the bench at the back of the firing line, glaring at Chemestro all the while.

The next ten minutes went by uneventfully as Chemestro fulfilled his sweeper role. Then the same small girl that had shoved him at the barbecue arrived, fussing over Paradox’s superficial wounds, dabbing them with a cloth and applying sealant.

For some reason, it made Chemestro feel like he’d just lost the encounter, despite all evidence to the contrary.

He felt furious.

Where is this coming from? Chemestro thought, taking a mental step back, using his father’s techniques to separate himself from the situation in an attempt to view it objectively.

It was extremely difficult.

***Paradox***

Perry sat there on the bench of shame long after Chemestro had left and Hardcase had been recalled to her group. His entire body trembled from an adrenaline low.

Lost my armor. Lost my shit.

Lost my information advantage.

Lost Solaris’ goodwill.

Right now a different super was helping out squad sixteen, doing what he’d been doing only half an hour ago…and doing it worse.

Chemestro had got him good, and he wanted more than anything to crawl into his bedroom in shame and lock himself in there for a few years.

Or go on a rampage.

Both at the same time?

A blast of light knocked Perry out of his head as Solaris arrived.

“Back to what you were doing,” Solaris said, waving the squad off as he approached Perry’s bench of shame.

“Sir-“ Perry said as he stood.

“Walk with me,” Solaris said, power-walking past at a ground-eating pace, forcing Perry to trot to keep up.

Solaris went to one of the nearby doors leading to the staircase which descended deeper into the massive superstructure of the wall.

Once they were down an entire flight, out of eye and earshot, the massive super spun on his heel, looming over Perry.

“Sir I-“

“I’m gonna let you in on a harsh truth,” Solaris said before Perry could get a word in. “You can count the number of sweepers on one hand. They are an incredibly valuable resource that I need to keep the wall from crumbling during High tide. Chemestro can kill hundreds of prawns and hold a three-squad section of the wall by himself.”

“Do I think he tried to kill you?” Solaris asked. “Yeah, he probably did.”

“But you’re not going to do anything about it,” Perry said, his gut twisting.

“No,” Solaris said, shaking his head. “The harsh truth is that Chemestro is more valuable, in a purely practical sense, than you are, and he’ll be treated preferentially until you close that gap.”

“For what it’s worth, you kicked some serious ass,” Solaris said, patting Perry on the shoulder. “You made the highlight reel of security footage at Nexus HQ tonight. I can’t wait to show your mom.”

Solaris bumped Perry’s shoulder then left, leaving Perry dealing with a swirl of conflicting emotions. One, however, proved the strongest.

I could go for some pizza. I am freaking starving.

***Chemestro***

Chemestro stepped into his room and began sliding out of his sweat-stained hyperweave, revealing the magical necklace and bracers adding armor and regenerative effects to his natural abilities.

They’d cost him over twenty million, but they’d served their purpose well. A swooping crest with a visually pleasing aesthetic was featured prominently on all three pieces.

Relics, Dave had called them, pawned by the Zauberer royal family over forty years ago to fund themselves on this strange new world called Earth.

Irony abounds,Chemestro thought as he prepared for a shower and a change of hyperweave.

When Chemestro turned around again, Solaris was standing in the center of his lair, arms crossed.

Thump.Chemestro’s heart paused in his chest.

“You pull that shit again on the wall, and I’ll kill you.” Solaris said, his expression severe.

“Sir.” Chemestro said, nodding.

Solaris flickered out of existence. No flash of light. No warning.