Deep Confidence... a blog post. (Patreon)

Hello Beastlings!  If you attended the last Virtual Meet & Greet you may remember that one of the questions asked was "What is the key to unshakeable confidence?"

I responded that I am not entirely certain I've achieved that, but I do feel that I have DEEP confidence. I am self-aware. I know what to work on, what I am good at and I am always willing to admit I'm wrong and learn. These are great qualities to strive for because they build character and make for a good work ethic.

I came across something today that sort of reinforced that "deep confidence" I suspect I have and I thought I would share them with you. I found this really funny, to be honest.

Firstly, I picked up a copy of a book from my mom that I had bought and read as a child: C.S. Lewis' "The Magician's Nephew". I was craving a fantasy novel because this week has been pretty tough with the devastating news of rampant racism in the USA. Not that this is new in any way - it has been an ongoing problem but it is particularly horrific at the moment if you take a look at the news. It is hard to take in - as a human being but also because my two oldest and closest friends are people of colour and I can't help but imagine the even greater pain I would feel if THEY had been victims of these hate crimes. I'm not sure what the "right" way to deal with these surfacing emotions is, so I decided maybe reading a completely unrealistic book would be a nice way to go just to quell the anger/frustration/fear/ for a few moments.  

I used to love writing my name along the fore edge of books. Then seeing how the words distort as you open the book in different ways (especially for the flexible soft cover books!). Anyone else like doing that?!

When I opened the book, I found this folded up piece of paper that had been in there so long it was basically glued to the flyleaf. You can see in the second photo what I had scribbled there...I think I can, I think I can, I think I can, I think I can, I know I can! ♡

If you have received Lyrical Art or a postcard from me so far you might recognize that I still write like that - a bit of concrete poetry in action (look that up if you don't know what it is, it's really cool and one of the reasons I hand-write the lyrics in all the Arch Enemy album booklets). I also still make my hearts like that.

Anyways, you can kind of see through the paper that the flipside had nothing but simple multiplication equations on it, so I unfortunately don't remember what my little self-pep-talk was for, but I do think it's pretty heart-warming that I chose to write to myself like THAT at a young age. I know our self-talk can often sound like the voice of a demon, a bully, a troll, an aggressor, or a stranger, but the biggest advice I can give to you for reaching that state of deep confidence is to train that inner voice of yours to talk to you like this instead. 

The way you would talk to a loved one. 

Because, after all, you ARE a loved one.

Have an amazing weekend, peeps!

Love you all, 

~AWG