Breathing life into Speech bubbles (Patreon)

Quick post today! 

Dialogue - lettering - speech bubbles whatever you call it, can be just as subjective in the creation process as drawing. I admit that most of the time I feel like I have a lot of room to improve with lettering and I tend to lean more traditional. I wanted to submit this panel to you for an example and see what you think because I see panels like this (original was the single speech bubble) and it doesn't look great to me on the page. Everything about it feels rushed and too simple- or basic. So I broke up the phrase and tried to give it some more expression. 

-I've also provided the panel without any speech on it in case anyone wanted to try their hand on it and show me what you would do with it.

I'm nearly done with inking (had to make a new schedule out for July because it looks like I will not be able to finish the comic until the 1st week of August.)