Supper Mario Broth: Special Zone, Issue 38 (Patreon)

Welcome, everyone, to the 38th issue of Supper Mario Broth: Special Zone.

Today, I will analyze Cranky Kong's unused cryptic hints found in the code of Donkey Kong Country.

The Hints That Never Were

Donkey Kong Country, released in 1994, was the first appearance of Cranky Kong - or, at least, his first appearance as Cranky Kong, since this character is actually supposed to be the original Donkey Kong from the 1981 Donkey Kong arcade, aged into an old ape that likes to reminisce about the good old days and complain about the games and characters of the current age. 

Cranky Kong can be found in all 6 of the game's worlds in "Cranky's Cabin", a cabin that somehow reappears everywhere on the island (in later games, Cranky is simply said to own a number of identical cabins everywhere on Donkey Kong Island). Unlike the other two NPC Kongs in the game, Funky Kong (who offers a flight service to revisit past worlds) and Candy Kong (who is responsible for saving the game's progress), Cranky Kong has no gameplay-relevant function and exists only to provide hints for the player.

However, for an unknown reason - likely an oversight in the code - Cranky Kong fails at this job, at least regarding hints for bonus areas in levels. Here is a scenario that may seem familiar to those who have played the game:

Here, the player has reached Cranky's Cabin in Kremkroc Industries, the fifth world. However, Cranky Kong's hint that he dispenses is about Reptile Rumble, a level in the first world. In fact, Cranky Kong will only ever give hints about the first world, no matter how far the player has progressed, rendering him more or less useless for the vast majority of the game.

While this could be regarded as intentional to make Cranky Kong into even more of a joke character than he already is by virtue of his concept, when the game's data is analyzed, this turns out to likely not have been intended. Cranky Kong has hints for most levels in the game, covering all six worlds, that are simply never loaded for an unknown reason. In this article, I will showcase all of these hints and provide either screenshots or animated .GIFs of what the hints actually refer to in the respective levels.

For the text of the hints, The Cutting Room Floor was consulted, and some screenshots were taken using the DKC Atlas. 

First, let us establish what hints are actually in the game. There are only five, all referring to the first world, Kongo Jungle:

"In Jungle Hijinxs, stick to the tree tops to earn extra lives."

"You can find the fun in Ropey Rampage between a rock and a hard place!"

"A leap of faith is all it takes to find Winky in Barrel Cannon Canyon."

"Go bananas in the snake pit of the Reptile Rumble!"

"The crafty Croctopus corners his crock of collectibles in Coral Capers."

Now, on to the unused hints, in order of how the levels are encountered in the game:

Hints for World 2, Monkey Mines:

1. "Avoid Mine Cart Carnage and jump early to get the extra life." 

Here, we start off with a very simple and frankly rather useless hint for Mine Cart Carnage, which does not lead the player to a bonus area, but rather provides advice on how to get an extra life:

This is the extra life in question. The track that the Kongs ride down leads past this point mandatorily, so every player would both see the extra life and all terrain around it, making it clear even without the hint that in order to get it, the jump must be timed in such a way that the Kongs do not land on the upper track. However, this hint is an exception: most of these hints are much harder to understand, and lead to bonus rooms instead.

2. "Burn rubber for the golden rhino in Bouncy Bonanza."

This hint leads the Kongs to a golden Rambi token - that is to say, if the player figures it out first. The "burn rubber" phrase clearly indicates something made out of rubber, that being one of the movable tires in the level. But nothing about the hint says which one of the tires needs to be moved, and in which direction:

Turns out, it is the first one in the level, and it needs to be moved backwards to the level entrance, where the token is hiding in the very top left corner of the level. Due to the vagueness of the hint, the only way this can be found is by using the exhaustive method to move every tire everywhere it is possible to be moved - and this is not the most unclear these hints will become.

3. "The bananas in Stop & Go Station will put you right!"

In Stop & Go Station, shortly after the Continue Barrel, there is a vertical row of three bananas. A tire must be positioned below them and bounced on to get to a hidden Barrel Cannon taking the Kongs to a bonus area:

While a vertical row of three bananas is somewhat more conspicuous than a horizontal row, the hint essentially amounts to "there is something good near some bananas", and the entire level (as every level in the game) is filled with bananas.

4. "Rolling some rubber will put you on the right road in Millstone Mayhem."

For Millstone Mayhem, the hint now more clearly refers to rolling a tire, but fails to mention that are no actual free-standing rolling tires in the level, and it must be uncovered first by falling down onto a colored floor tile as Donkey Kong:

Bouncing on it to reach the high platform reveals a Winky crate. This hint is again not very useful as the platform that needs to be reached is clearly visible during gameplay - the thing that presents a problem is where to find a tire to bounce on, not that a tire needs to be bounced on in the first place - but that information is not what the hint provides.

Hints for World 3, Vine Valley:

1. "A single banana is all you need for a bonus in Tree Top Town."

This hint is actually useful - there is precisely one conspicuously placed single banana in the level (shortly after the Continue Barrel), and aiming a Barrel Cannon at it enters a bonus room:

However, the banana is also so conspicuous that players would likely have discovered this secret without any hints.

2. "Get on down with the bananas and get ready to party in Temple Tempest!"

This hint contains the words "down" and "bananas", which becomes extremely obvious once this part of Temple Tempest is reached: 

It is an arrow made out of bananas, pointing down at a bonus room Barrel Cannon. Again, the hint does clearly identify what to do so it is at least not cryptic, but it is rather useless as a down arrow already tells the player to follow it as that is the purpose of an arrow, so having an extra hint that amounts to "follow the arrow" is redundant.

3. "In Orang-utan Gang, follow the last barrel down to discover a barrel of laughs!"

This hint is much more cryptic. The "last barrel" Cranky refers to is the barrel that the final Manky Kong enemy in the level throws (a fact that can only be ascertained by getting past the enemy and reaching the end of the level), which rolls down a platform and shatters on a cliff. Cranky intends for the player to jump down that gap:

After jumping down, the player must figure out that one of the walls can be destroyed with a barrel, which is difficult given how the only barrel near the area is right next to the gap that the Manky Kong's barrels roll down, so the player's barrel is likely to touch the enemy barrel and break. This hint takes many steps to decipher: first figuring out it refers to the Manky Kong's barrel, then finding which one of them is the last, and finally figuring out that in the area below, a wall needs to be destroyed.

Hints for World 4, Gorilla Glacier:

1. "On Snow Barrel Blast, sometimes down will not take you out; it may help you go forward."

This hint does not lead the Kongs to a bonus room, but rather to a simple shortcut that skips a difficult portion of Snow Barrel Blast. However, it is unfairly vague. All it tells the player is to go down, but not on which out of the dozens of Barrel Cannons in the level exactly this should occur.

It turns out that it is on the third Barrel Cannon in this portion, after the two red Zingers near the middle of the level. All the player can do is randomly try out going down on all of the barrels, likely wasting many lives in the process, before discovering this shortcut.

2. "Bouncing the Bouncer will  slide you to success during Slipside Ride!"

First off, there in no entity called a Bouncer in the game, which the capitalization might suggest. What Cranky Kong is referring to here is a blue Kritter, though it is possible that internally at Rare, blue Kritters were referred to as Bouncers. 

Near the beginning of the level, there is a rope dangling on top of the screen, with a banana to indicate it. All the hint does is say that the Kritter should be bounced off to reach the rope, which most players would likely have discovered by themselves.

3. "In Ice Age Alley, birds of a feather flock together to get your wings."

There is only one instance of two Necky bird enemies next to each other in Ice Age Alley, and bouncing off both of them leads to a bonus room Barrel Cannon: 

This hint is very straightforward. When the player sees two birds on the same screen, it becomes clear what to do. Strangely, there is no hint about a much more hidden secret in the level, which is that going left from the entrance and jumping down the pit leads the Kongs to an Expresso crate.

4. "On Croctopus Chase, there's a right way and a wrong way to get past the barrels."

This hint is extremely cryptic. Clearly, it refers to the Barrel Cannons that take away control from the player during the level at one point, but the phrasing suggests that there is a secret to be found before them that would get the Kongs "past" them in a different way. However, there is not actually a different way to get past them on the way towards the goal - the secret is that after the barrels, there is a hidden passage (containing a DK Barrel and the letter O) to get back into the space between them. 

The player would doubtlessly notice a passage between the Barrel Cannons, but the hint suggests it could be entered on the way down, while it can only be entered on the way back up. Also, the location of the hidden passage is so close to the Barrel Cannons that some players may not even check there due to thinking it may be inside their activation zone. However, if the "right way" in Cranky's hint is taken to mean "press and hold Right", that is another useful clue.

5. "The TNT gives you a couple of real wall to wall blasts in Torchlight Trouble."

This is the only hint in this entire set that is wrong. There is no TNT in Torchlight Trouble whatsoever - presumably, there was at the time the hints were written. Instead, there are regular barrels that must be used to break open walls:

As you can see, each barrel is close to a spot that can be broken with it. If the barrels were TNT Barrels, even the part of the hint saying "a couple" would be correct, as there are indeed two bonus rooms that are opened this way. This hint raises the possibility of the hints being deliberately left out, as this one appears to refer to an older version of the game and would likely have been updated if the intent was to use the hints.

Hints for World 5, Kremkroc Industries: 

1. "For you Trick Track Trekkers, the Gnawty twins gnow a secret!"

In Trick Track Trek, there are a few instances of two Gnawty enemies together, but only one of them on the same platform, which is what Cranky refers to as "twins". They must be bounced on to reach a Barrel Cannon:

2. "For Elevator Antics, you'll have to climb higher than a hornet's nest!"

This one is also straightforward: a "hornet's nest" obviously refers to two or more Zinger enemies in the same area, and they are positioned on ropes that can be climbed up to a bonus area:

Note the entrance in the upper right.

3. "Once you're in the Poison Pond, the right way is not the only way to get the point."

Here, Cranky Kong clearly means "the right way" as "pressing Right", as the hint refers to the fact that from the beginning of the level, pressing and holding Left will take the Kongs through a hidden passage to an Enguarde crate (Enguarde's swordfish nose being "the point" Cranky mentions):

This is one of those hints that are very clever once the secret is revealed but may not be very useful to actually help a player find the secret. Without realizing that "the right way" refers to pressing Right, the hint amounts to "look for an alternate path", which is so vague as to be completely useless, and it takes a leap of logic to figure out that not all players may make.

4. "In Mine Cart Madness, you're just 3 bounces away from bonus land."

This refers to the three floating tires at the end of the level:

Both the Barrel Cannon and the tires are clearly visible during the minecart ride, making the hint rather useless. 

5. "Blackout Basement could give you a sinking feeling, but you'll end up sky high!"

Here, the hint refers to "sinking", which means the slow falling platforms that appear about halfway through. The hint suggests to let the Kongs sink on one of the platforms:

As the correct place to go down is already marked with a conspicuous banana, this is another redundant hint.

Finally, the hints for World 6, Chimp Caverns:

1. "You're in Tanked Up Trouble if you're all gassed up and nowhere to go!"

This is, in my opinion, the most obtuse hint in this entire set. First, the phrase "gassed up" can both mean "full on gas" and "empty on gas" (making it a so-called auto-antonym, or contronym, like "to dust" could mean "to clean up dust" or "to add dust"). Second, even if the player deduces that Cranky means "empty on gas", it still means nothing - the player is supposed to do something when the platform runs out of gas, but it is not stated what exactly, or which platform, or when it is supposed to happen.

It turns out what Cranky means is to let the first platform run out of gas by deliberately avoiding filling it up with the Fuel Barrel, then stand on it as it falls down offscreen. This hint may make sense retrospectively, but would be supremely frustrating to work with without a guide, as it could refer to so many different things. 

2. "Let Diddy hold out the TNT in Manic Mincers."

In Manic Mincers, there is an area near the end that deposits the Kongs on a ledge with a TNT barrel after a small side room. Cranky says to let Diddy hold the TNT due to the difference in how the Kongs hold it: Donkey Kong holds it above his head while Diddy Kong holds it in front of him. The latter is required to let it touch a small ledge and blast open a bonus room:

Note how Donkey Kong would have held the barrel too high to hit the small wall unless he threw it from a distance.

3. "Take enough rope and you'll amaze yourself in the Misty Mine."

This refers to climbing down on a rope that moves from left to right:

This hint is mildly useful as the level's mist effect obscures the view of the bonus room, so having it spelled out may help find it.

4. "The Loopy Lights vulture's barrel will blow you away."

This refers to the fact that in Loopy Lights, a Necky enemy is above a barrel which must be picked up and thrown at a wall:

Note the barrel and Necky on the left and the circled wall on the right. Of course, the hint does not mention how far the wall actually is from the barrel, resulting in a lot of experimentation being needed to find it.

5. "The Platform Perils vulture knows it's sometimes better to come down to earth."

The final hint is about a Necky enemy and "coming down to earth", which becomes clear when playing the level and seeing one of them stationed next to a slow-falling platform:

Standing on the platform reveals an alternate path underneath with a gold Winky token. This hint is again, moderately useful as there are no conspicuous bananas showing the way down and there are other slow-fall platforms that have no secrets, instead resulting in a lost life.

In addition to the hints, there is other unused text that was deliberately cut as it showed Cranky Kong having a more kindly personality, which was changed to being more discontent in the finished version: 

"Donkey Boy? Where's Diddy?"

"Donkey, you young whippersnapper! Long time no see!"

"Donkey Boy! It seems like years since we last met!"

"It's about time you visited your frail, old Grandpa!"

"Hey! Can you spare your old pappy a banana?"

"And what have you brought for your old Grandpa?"

"Well, you've amazed your old Grandpa by getting this far!"

"So, you've finally come to get some game play advice from your old Grandpa!"

"Diddy boy! Where's Donks?"

"Diddy, you young pup! Boy, I can't believe how much you've grown!"

Finally, two more lines that are neither level hints nor part of the changed personality: 

"Gnawty the beaver can be rolled or jumped on."

"I'm back to my cabin for a nap."

This concludes the analysis of Cranky Kong's hints. I hope that the showcase was informative, and preferable to actually having to figure these hints out for yourself.

Thank you very much for reading.