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More of a mental one: not doing too well (Patreon)

Published:
2020-08-04 20:49:29
Imported:
2023-01

Content

Hi peeps,

Normally I try to focus these updates on my physical health, but I feel like what is going on in my mind has less to do with body image, but more with my 'mental strength'.


Basically what is going on is ... so simple it kinda hurts that I'm struggling with it so hard. This pandemic thingy made my daytime job boom. A lot of people sadly passed away (we handle the paperwork when people pass away). Divorce rates are rising. The house market exploded and because of the fear of getting sick/dying, suddenly everyone and their mother (ha, in this context the joke even makes sense!) want to plan out their real estate over generations. Also... clients have never been more unfriendly. I get shouted at, get really agressive mails, etc. It feels like working your ass of, while being yelled at. 

And I'm not gonna lie... it's getting to me. I'm working from early in the morning until late at night, and taking on extra shifts in the weekend. I told myself I was not gonna work tuesday evening/thursday evening/sat-sun afternoon JUST so I could stream. But everytime it is streamtime and I want to go home, I get more work and it just never stops. Mind you, I don't get paid overtime (which really sucks after months of being on furlough, when there was no work I wasn't paid, when there is a mass amount of work, I'm not getting paid extra either). 

Streaming is genuinely what makes me happy. I look forward to the conversations and I enjoy setting up special streams and being that tiny bit creative. I have loads of ideas that I cannot work on, I miss my scheduled streams and there are so many things I want to fix but I never have time to do them. I hate that I never have time to fix the audio, the channel points and all that jazz. 

I feel like I'm losing what is actually the joy in my life :( My schedule will be a bit messed up during the rest of August but please know that I'm trying the best I can. I'm tired, I'm stressed out and I'm losing my mind a bit, but streaming is one of the most important things in life, so although I might seem not committed for a while... just know that I am. And I will show it, as soon as things at work go back to normal. I'm so sorry... 


Love you all loads and hope you'll all be there on the other side when things calm down <3 


Mary

Comments

Anonymous

^ Stream/Us-wise +1,000,000. Work-wise.. ..its easier said that done for sure. Depending on and weighing your life/professional fears and concerns in combination with the Empathy/Sympathy parts of you. Working extra is always a personal risk b/c you're hoping it will pay off somehow down the line per an opportunity and/or increase of some kind. Always have the long term forward life view in mind when you embark/continue embarking on such efforts. With regards to the work sads and mads. To the degree that you know its not you're fault try to let it be water off a ducks back and press forward until the end of each work day. Be empathetic but don't/try not to let your sympathy cripple you. Because it will if you let it. If it is your fault admit, conciliate, and correct immediately. Then also press forward without missing or appearing to miss a beat. Keep regular communications with your paycheck writing boss hierarchy. Check-in proactively if there isn't already a good "check up frequency." Keeping that relationship known and good can do wonders for your day to day worries. Ultimately trust in your good work. And per the above your paycheck writing boss hierarchy's trust in your good work. And of course throughout all of this keep your long life view in mind. Talk regularly with "ReggieMon", yes I've made him a Digimon, which should also keep yourself personally salved and assuaged. o// &lt;3 :marilove: =^.^=

Future_Boy85

I hope that things have gotten better for you since you wrote this. I wish people would treat everyone better. Especially those in customer service. Hang in there Mary!