What Is A Woman (Patreon)

“A woman's first blood doesn't come from between her legs, but from biting her tongue.”

―Meggie C. Royer

In which Topher grapples with what in means to be a girl- particularly a girl living in a restrictive dogmatic religious environment. No longer a child, but an object, to be shaved, groomed, plucked, dressed, prettied up, molded, maintained, courted, spoken over, pursued, consumed, possessed. Also, brushed off when you speak up about it. Welcome to womanhood, Topher.

It sticks out that of all three Meadowsweet kids, Topher is the only one that didn’t need a big dramatic character arc to unlearn being an asshole. As an adult he’s not exactly sweet, but he’s highly empathetic, quietly kind with a strong sense of justice, and he’ll always stick up for the little guy. He’s a true punk. Topher was very resistant to his community’s brainwashing growing up, because he recognized how he and others suffered under it. And it pissed him off that nobody else seemed to see it.

He grows more and more disillusioned with what’s expected of him as a young woman, of his community’s hypocrisy and bigotry-and the illusion is shattered entirely when his father tears their family apart on one vile, selfish impulse. Topher is struck by a rebellious streak that never truly goes away. Though he doesn’t yet know it, he starts leaning into feminist thinking, which opens his eyes to the flaws inherent in the social systems he’d been raised never to question. Women’s liberation, queer rights, worker’s rights, disability rights, aid for the poor, equality for the disenfranchised, freedom for the exploited, retribution for the exploiters. The little spark of anger within Topher explodes into a raging inferno that burns bright and burns hot, forever. (Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me.)

For the record, I agree with Maple. While it’s definitely important to question how much of our choices are influenced by living in a patriarchal society, ultimately girlhood is up to the individual to define. No matter how rigid gender expectations can be, or how an individual may be punished for not fitting the mold, there is no one singular way to be a girl. Too bad Topher’s not a girl…