Never Buy Jeans Online (Patreon)

Online shopping is a great tool; gone (mostly) is the need to go to brick-and-mortar stores to do your shopping. The internet was beautiful like that, never mind that it made everyone lazier and more impatient. That near-instant gratification that came with getting what you wanted when you wanted it delivered directly to your door was worth the inevitable downfall of society that our technological advancements would bring for sure.

Arguably one of the worst things about online shopping was having to wait for whatever you bought to be delivered. And while you could pay to have same-day delivery or one-day shipping, the free option was what most people went with, and oh boy did free shipping seem like a synonym for “strapped to the back of a sloth sent crawling along a highway” sometimes. 

But the words “free shipping” in a pretty shade of red alongside a cute icon of a delivery truck with motion lines to make it look like it was speeding was too hard to resist, and when Alex was done adding things into her shopping cart and was on the checkout page, she picked the free option. 

It was probably one of the biggest mistakes she ever made in her online shopping journey so far. 

Alex usually followed the rule of not checking the shipping status of anything she bought online too obsessively, but this specific shopping session was for clothes, and she got exceptionally excited whenever she bought new clothes. Growing up in the bottomless district, the only new clothing she would get were either tops, socks, or shoes. Pants weren’t a new thing for her, as she did have to venture out of the bottomless district even from time to time when she lived there full-time, but buying bottoms online was something she hadn’t too much experience with; she was trying to build up her online pantfolio though. 

The tiger had been eyeing a particular pair of jeans for a while now. She’d seen ads for them on the various websites and social media platforms that she frequented, and despite ignoring them whenever she could, she fell for the final trick in the marketing handbook; the SALE. Big, bold, and flashy lettering was really all that was needed to get the tigress to click. And within minutes, she had those jeans in a box from a warehouse somewhere, on the way to her. 

If only she could STOP CHECKING THE TRACKING NUMBER, it would get to her just that much faster. 

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It probably isn’t too far-fetched to say that we all live in perpetual fear of missing the delivery driver; that god-forsaken note that they leave with the condescending “Sorry, but we missed you :c” even when you’re at home, grinds the gears of many like chunky high-grit sand in the hinges of a Samsung folding phone. So, when the tracking information on Alex’s package said it was out for delivery, Alex sat as close to the front door as physically possible, which meant she was on the right side of the couch with her legs hanging over the armrest, ready to dash for the door the second that her doorbell rang.

Her eyes were glued to the TV, but her ears were turned in the direction of the door. As much as she was enjoying the new season of Black Mirror, she wasn’t going to let it make her miss her delivery. Around halfway through the third episode, the tigress heard the sound that she had been waiting to hear for a long time. 

‘Ding-Dong!’ 

The tigress couldn’t pause the show on her TV fast enough, the remote was in her hand, but she fumbled and hot-potatoed it out of panic and excitement. “Coming!!!!” she shouted. Once the remote was stable in her hands, she paused her show, rolled off the couch, and ran. Her paws thumped and pattered against the floor and she got to the door just in time for her to see the delivery person’s silhouette start to turn away. She reached for the door handle, pushed it down, and pulled the door inward. 

The FedEx delivery driver turned back around when he heard the door open behind him. The tall grey wolf smiled and adjusted his cap before he handed his little tablet for her to sign. Alex stepped out from behind the door and reached for the tablet. With her signature on the tablet, the wolf handed the parcel to her with a smile. However, that smile very quickly faded as his eyes darted down to the tigress’s lower half, where she had nothing on. That poor delivery guy’s jaw dropped to the floor and so did his tablet. Luckily for him, FedEx deployed those super rugged type tablets for this specific reason. FedEx corporate probably didn’t have THIS specific scenario in mind, but you never know what’s inside those employee handbooks. 

Alex didn’t even realize that she was bottomless, and by the time she did, it was far too late. The delivery driver had seen the stripes that were usually kept hidden on most people who answered their doors. She kept forgetting that she didn’t live in the bottomless district anymore, but having spent most of her life there, it was something she would never be able to truly shake off. The tigress followed the wolf’s gaze and looked down at herself. She hadn’t shaved her pubes in a while, so the wolf wasn’t only given an eyeful of her pussy, but of her bush, too. She chuckled and shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly like it wasn’t a big deal and took the package in her hands with a smile. She bent down to pick his tablet up, handed it to him, and gave him a wave goodbye. She then closed the door behind her. With her shopping in hand, she smirked as she walked her way to the kitchen to grab a knife to cut the box open. Whether she was smirking because she finally had her package, or because she made the wolf fluster so badly that he dropped his tablet was up for debate.

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Cutting through the packing tape with her sharp knife was incredibly satisfying, and so was pulling the jeans out from the pile of packing peanuts inside the box. She tried her best not to spill any of the packing peanuts and set the box aside as she unfolded the jeans and held them out in front of her to get a good look at them before she tried them on. To the untrained, uncultured, and unfashionable eye, they looked like just regular jeans. But for someone fashionable like Alex, they were gorgeous, and smart, too since they went well with almost any top; even the oversized and loose ones that you got for free at car dealership openings. Alex had one of those shirts on right now, specifically a Honda-branded one, and while she could have left it on, she wanted the best possible top to pair with those jeans. She peeled her shirt off, tossed it to the side, and slid her wardrobe door open to look at the shirts and tops she had in there. While she looked, she shook the jeans in her hands to make them easier to slip into. 

‘Fwp!’ 

The tigress then stepped one foot after the other into those jeans and bent over to pull them up her legs. The jeans slipped over her knees and her thighs, and she did a couple little hops to pull them the rest of the way up her figure. Her breasts bounced up and down as she hopped, “There we go,” she said with a smile as the pants inched up her inner thigh. She hopped up and down again, but her pants didn’t move any further up. Her smile turned into a look of pure confusion as the waistband of her jeans wedged up against her butt cheeks. 

She jumped up and down and desperately tried to pull the jeans up again, but her efforts were fruitless. Her tits and ass bounced up and down with every hop, but the waistband of her jeans barely moved at all. That round tiger peach with a white heart-shaped pattern was like Gandalf and was not letting her pants pass. Alex looked over her shoulder and down at her butt. The smile on her face was long gone at this point; her brows furrowed and her lips flipped into an annoyed expression. 

“Are.. you… kidding me?” Alex continued to pull her jeans up and jumped up and down frantically trying to pull the jeans over her thick tiger cheeks. The more she jumped, the more her booty jiggled and bounced. She started to whine and stomp her feet against the ground angrily before she pulled her pants all the way down and brought them up close to her face to look at the tag on the inside. It was a size medium, just like all her other pants. She looked even more puzzled but gave them another chance and slipped her legs into them again. The tigress pulled them up to her inner thighs just underneath her butt and took in a deep breath. She held her breath and did one last BIG jump and pulled on the jeans as hard as she could. 

‘Fwwwwwwwwwwwwp!’

The jeans finally pulled up and over her cheeks and she let out a sigh of relief. “Oh thank fucking god…” she chuckled. She turned her head over her shoulder again and looked at her butt. The jeans were tight but they shaped quite nicely over her ass. She reached back to unbutton the tail loop, looped it over the base of her tail, and buttoned it back up again. She then turned around to admire herself in the mirror next to her closet and turned her butt toward it to get a better look. Her smile came back and she bit her lip. Call her narcissistic, but she thought her butt looked pretty good in those jeans. 

Happy with how it looked on her, even if they were slightly too tight, the tiger turned back to the closet to sift through her shirts to find one that matched it perfectly. Red sweater? Too plain. White tank top? A little too casual. She flipped through the shirts hanging on the rack until she got through all of them and still couldn’t choose which one to wear. She had a few more shirts that were folded on one of the lower shelves, so she bent over to look through them. When she did, there was a loud sound that ripped through the room. 

‘Qwwwwwwrrrrrk!’

Alex’s hand froze on the shirt that was on the top of the folded pile when she felt the tension and tautness of her pants suddenly disappear. She felt her butt bounce outward slightly through the jeans, which was not supposed to happen. Her eyes widened and she peeked over her shoulder to look at her butt. She couldn’t see what happened from that angle, so she quickly stood back up and backed her butt up to the mirror again. Her jeans had a huge tear in them, straight between her butt cheeks. “Oh no, no, no, no, no…” the tiger started panicking, she turned around to look and make sure that the rip along her rear was the only one. Luckily, it was. The sizing on those pants had to be wrong, right? Every other pair of jeans that she had were mediums and fit perfectly fine over her butt. With a disappointed sigh, she pulled the destroyed jeans off and tossed them right back into the box that they came in, scattering the packing peanuts that she tried so hard not to get all over the place all over the area around the box. 

Annoyed, the tigress stomped her way out of the bedroom and toward the living room where her laptop was. Still in the nude, she plopped herself down on the couch, grabbed her laptop, and headed to the website where she bought the jeans from and initiated a return. As she typed away her reason for the return, her doorbell rang again. 

‘Ding-dong!’ 

Alex looked up from her laptop and toward the door. She could see the silhouette of someone at the door, but she wasn’t expecting anyone. With a confused brow, she shouted to the door to see who it was. “Who is it?” 

“Miss Marx? It’s uhh… Zayne... Your FedEx delivery driver. I was just here, ma’am.” 

Alex furrowed her brow as she set her laptop aside and pushed herself off of the couch. What was he here for? Did he forget to give her something? This time, Alex knew she was naked, so she approached the door carefully. When she opened it up, she hid most of her body behind the door and poked her head out to look at the wolf. She smiled and raised her eyebrows at him. “Did you forget something?”

The grey wolf looked at her with a shy smile on his face and shook his head. “No, ma’am… I uh… I just…” he struggled trying to get out what he wanted to say. He rubbed the back of his head and tried to avert his eyes from hers before he looked down at the ground as he kicked the dust off of the tigress’s porch with his feet.

Alex tilted her head to the side slightly and watched him. Her eyes followed his and she looked down, too. Her eyes widened when they landed on his crotch. The wolf’s FedEx-issued shorts sported an impressive bulge and the tigress could see his tapered tip pressing outward. After a few seconds of staring, she instinctively licked her lips. 

The wolf couldn’t get the tigress’s pussy off of his mind; his dick throbbed, his heart raced, and he felt like he was sweating an ocean. What he was doing was risky in so many ways, he could get punished, or worse lose his job entirely. But what was he supposed to do, not shoot his shot and go home and jerk off? 

Alex bit her lip, brought her gaze back up to the wolf’s face, and smiled. With a loud purr, she pulled the door all the way open and leaned against the door to give Zayne some room to come inside. The wolf stared at her, this time at her titties first, then her pussy. He gulped audibly, his dick throbbed visibly in his shorts, and he stepped inside. Alex then closed the door behind her. 

Zayne left Alex’s house later that day; the hair underneath his cap was messy, his shirt was wrinkled, and his dick still dripping with pussy juice and cum in his pants. He had Alex’s return box in his hands as he awkwardly walked away from her house to his delivery truck. FedEx received a lot of complaints about late packages in that area that day and he was definitely going to get written up for them, but boy was it worth it.

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Art by Foxovh