Chapter 9.5: Numero Uno (Patreon)
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Chapter 9.5: Numero Uno
LA, California. January 2003.
“Dōzo yoroshiku onegai itashimasu.” Those were the first words out of my mouth as I shook the hand of the person in front of me and gave them a polite bow. He was Japanese, and I, who stumbled through that sentence with what was probably horrible elocution, am obviously not. But I gave it a shot, regardless.
Ben Wyatt, my faithful financial manager and companion for this meeting, jolted beside me. “I didn’t know you could speak Japanese.”
“I can’t.” I confessed to the room. “I just learnt a formal greeting. The only things I know how to say besides that are my favorite orders at restaurants.”
Luckily, the person I was getting acquainted with found my attempt amusing, and playfully clapped my shoulder.
He released me and gestured to our seats while taking his own. “Dōzo.”
“Mr Tadashi Yanai invites you to sit,” spoke the assistant confidently in English. I must have sounded like a hillbilly to them in comparison. “I am Shinpachi. I will be your interpreter for this meeting.”
“Nice to meet you.” Ben responded politely.
I threw my two-cent wrench in. “I’m quite surprised the CEO of fast retailing came for this brief visit himself. I was just expecting one of your typical salarymen.”
Shinpachi, our interpreter, relayed my observation to the head honcho and received a prompt reply. “With the exception of private enterprises, banks, and other corporate entities, you are our largest individual foreign shareholder. We could not ignore your request.”
“I am?” I turned to Ben.
“I bought 1.5 million dollars’ worth of shares at your behest. It’s a little less than six dollars per share at purchase, which works out to around 256,000 shares.” Ben detailed.
Shinpachi took over for him. “You own 0.25% of all the free floating stock available to the public.”
“That’s enough for a seat at any table, Bas. Especially ones whose worth is measured in the billions.” And I knew that was before the stock split that would happen at the end of next month.
I also knew that this six dollar stock appreciates into a three-hundred dollar stock over the course of the next two decades. With generous and steady annual dividends. Significant benefits, without even factoring in what I hoped to achieve actively with the brand.
Ben and Shinpachi had barely known each other for five minutes, yet already seemed in sync. They dove into the nitty-gritty of the numbers with the same vigour a pig has for filth.
While they were doing that, big boss Tadashi was staring me down. I smiled in return.
He lifted his hand. All chatter ceased, and he spoke. “You invest, why?” That was for me alone.
“I’m not wearing this just to flatter you.” I tugged on the shirt I was wearing to display the Uniqlo logo. “Even all the way down to my feet. I just really like your clothes.”
Shinpachi carefully translated what I was saying to a focused Tadashi. “But it’s not just that. Asia is a massive market that’s generally ignored by the west. Half the world is there, but we don’t even think about setting up shop. And in my opinion, Japan, with its reputation here, and commercial foothold there, is the ideal bridge.”
The room sat stunned. I pushed ahead, undeterred. “Uniqlo presents a unique opportunity for me. I’ve seen how successful your franchise collaborations are, like Jump comics, Capcom, and even Pokemon. I’d like to add Harry Potter to that list.”
It took a moment, but the CEO found his voice again. Shinpachi followed suit. “Mr Yanai states that you do not talk like a child.”
I shrugged. I am who I am, no sense in hiding it. I only acted mature when it was required of me.
“What you say is true. Our partnerships have proven very successful. While we have seen success in the west with our recent international expansion, it pales in comparison to our explosive growth in Asian markets. Mr Yanai states that this is because we lack brand recognition in the west.”
I piggybacked on that point. “Recognition that the Harry Potter IP can provide.”
“This is correct. But we would also be pleased to have you personally as a brand ambassador.”
An endorsement deal, I thought to myself. I sought out Ben again. “I own my image rights, don’t I?” I asked to confirm.
“Yes… you do…”
“Cool! Go ahead and put a bow on this, Ben.”
He stared at me weirdly, almost as if he saw me, as I truly was, for the first time. I guess my overwhelming competency knocked out his child filter. “I’ll have to arrange a meeting with WB corporate for the Harry Potter discussion.” He began.
“Best we only do that with proof of concept.” I chimed in.
“Sample products will be developed and created.” Shinpachi added.
“As far as Bas’s endorsement goes, I have a greater amount of liberty to speak to that.”
“Mr Yanai wishes to know the current state of his contract for the Harry Potter franchise.”
“He’s committed to the next three movies. Time wise, it’s estimated that this’ll occupy him till 2007.”
Tadashi rubbed his chin thoughtfully before playing a little ‘twenty questions’ with Shinpachi. “Mr Yanai proposes the following. Mr Bas Rhys, as himself, will become the western face of Uniqlo for the children’s, teens, and young adults’ line of apparel. This will be for the period of the next four years commencing from the date of signing. Additionally, Uniqlo would also appreciate your support in brokering a deal with Warner Brothers corporate for the merchandising rights of the Harry Potter franchise.” Shinpachi listed the tentative details of our potential deal.
“And Bas’s compensation?” Ben asked.
“Upon signing, Mr Rhys will be authorized to receive an aggregate 0.75% of free floating fast retailing shares until he owns a full 1% of stock with his already purchased stake. Consequently, he may request that in a specified portion or entirety in cash payment at his own discretion, up to approximately-”
“4.5 million US dollars.” My pocket calculator simplified for me. He maintained his demeanor, but I’d known Ben long enough to know that he wanted to raise absolute hell. If Anita was here, she’d have dollar signs in her eyes.
“Sound like a good deal, Ben?”
“Yeah, Bas. It’s a good deal.”
“Mr Yanai is pleased to hear your approval. The paperwork shall be completed and presented to you as soon as possible.”
Tadashi Yanai rose from his chair, prompting the rest of us to do the same. He reached his hand over to mine. He had a wide smile on his face. “Pleasure doing business.”
I eagerly shook it. “Likewise!
Ben and I made our way out of the hotel meeting room. “C’mon, let’s go share the good news with the girls. I’m suddenly in the mood for sushi.”
Soon enough, we found ourselves sitting at a table in the very fancy Japanese restaurant in the hotel itself.
“Am I awake?” Ben had a shocked look on his face and was gripping his disheveled hair. He was completely ignoring his sushi. How rude, I’d brought the four of us out here to celebrate not just the lucrative deal we’d landed, but also the recent success of Chamber of Secrets, and the completed shooting of Love, Actually.
I completed my work at last. I was fully prepared to enjoy my singular month off this year, even if Ben failed to take the hint.
“Not now, Ben. We’re at lunch,” Anita reprimanded him while scooping another unagi roll into her mouth.
I’d evidently been a little too sloppy with my table manners, as Cadbury had to take a napkin and wipe the corner of my lip.
Ben stared at the three of us as we’d all just told him the sky was green. “I don’t think the three of you fully understand the magnitude of the deal we just pulled in today. So let me break it down for you. We’ll get to the absolute insanity of your endorsement deal later. So let’s start easy with just the Harry Potter stuff. You have a little over 3% stake in a billion dollar property - and all you had to do was take a pay cut for it.”
We focused on our food as he prattled on. Someone clearly had to get something off their chest. “Even if we’re conservative with estimates and say the third movie, only ‘only’ earns 800 million. That’s still 24 million dollars from an initial investment of 4 million!” He aggressively whispered. “Even after you take my 10% brokerage fee and the lowered tax rate, you’d have to pay because it’s dividends.”
“Don’t you dare forget my 5% of that! My bonus is my bonus. You have no idea how much my boss chewed me out for not getting Bas a higher salary.” Anita added.
“Yeah, sure. After all that, you would still make 18 million. That’s an over 400% rate of return in a single fiscal year! Without even counting the money, you would already have.”
“You know what the best part about that is, Ben? Not a penny of it goes into that goddamn Coogan security.” I was still sore about the opportunity loss of having that part of my earnings locked away.
Ben was getting frantic. “We haven’t even talked about your investmen-!”
“Are you Harry Potter?” A little girl suddenly popped up out of nowhere. Anita slapped her hand over his mouth, quickly muffling Ben.
“Shh!” I hurriedly shushed and cast an overly dramatic look around the restaurant. “Speak quietly. You know we’re not supposed to talk about magic among muggles!”
She hurriedly brought the notepad and marker to cover her mouth, but it couldn’t hide her massive, glowing smile. “I’m sorry, Harry. I forgot!”
“Don’t worry about it. Now, how can I help you?” I stood up from my chair to face her. I put my hand behind my back and signaled Cadbury to hand me something. Being the robot that she is, she knew I wanted the polaroid camera she kept in her purse at my request. She handed it to me strategically so the girl wouldn’t see.
“I just wanted an autograph. I know you have to go back to Hogwarts soon, but I wanted to get one before you left.” She showed me her notepad and marker.
“I can’t do that, I’m afraid.” I denied the little girl, who looked absolutely heartbroken.
“Why not?” Her voice quivered.
“Because it’s not good enough!” I pulled out the polaroid camera and showed her.
“Magic!” she squealed.
“C’mon, let’s take this photo before the muggles see us.” She latched on to me, pressing herself cheek to cheek. I extended my arm out, smiled for the camera, and took the selfie.
“What’s your name?” I uncapped the sharpie while fanning the photo. “Mia!” was her immediate response
I flipped the photo over and wrote:
[For Mia,
One ticket for the Hogwarts Express from platform 9 & ¾.
From her friend,
Harry Potter]
She bounced on her feet, unable to contain her excitement as she read my little message for her. Rather quickly, however, she grew sad. “What if I don’t get my owl when I turn eleven? What if I’m not magic?”
I ruffled her hair. “You’ll get to Hogwarts, don’t even think you won’t. I can feel magic all around you.”
“Really?”
“I don’t lie to my friends.” She beamed another smile at me, hugged me, and ran back to her parents, who waved in thanks.
“You know,” Anita started while looking softly at me. “I sometimes forget that behind your scarily precocious nature, there’s a normal, cute little kid under there.”
“A normal child would have merely signed an autograph.” Cadbury, suddenly and very uncharacteristically, made herself the focus of attention. “Mr Rhys is someone far more special.”
Jeez, Cadbury, you’ll make me blush.