Witch Weekly 5th Edition: Dust Snorkack (Patreon)

Dust Snorkack

Featuring: Harry Potter, Luna Lovegood

Tags: Maid, Shower, Hand job

I apparated into Grimmauld place and found it suspiciously clean. My wand was out immediately.

I’d sent Kreacher off to live with Andromeda so that he could help care for Teddy, so the onus of Grimmauld’s housekeeping fell solely on my shoulders.

I heard light clanking coming from the direction of the kitchen. I stealthily made my way down the hall.

I swiped two fingers on the banister. No dust. The usual state of my inherited home was more akin to my hair. Disarrayed. But now? Not only was every upturned surface spotless, there were even strange plants hanging off the walls that when I left this morning weren’t there. “Those aren’t mine.”

Right by the kitchen door was a pair of small blue women’s pumps. “These aren’t either.”

I looked across the room. The small dining table I kept there that normally had four chairs around it was missing one. I found it rather quickly. My chair stood next to my kitchen counters with a woman, in full French maid get up, standing on it to dust the tops of my cupboards.

“And I definitely don’t own you.”

A sudden curtain of dirty blonde hair whipped around to reveal her striking blue eyes wide in surprise. Her hasty movement set the chair to wobbling. Luna Lovegood, unfazed as ever, impressively hopped off before it toppled.

My hand instinctively shot off a levitation charm, but my eyes reflexively glimpsed her thighs as her skirt fluttered during her poised descent.

I swear she wasn’t wearing underwear, just a pair of white stockings.

“Harry, you’re home!” she smiled up at me, her teeth shining. She tucked the small feather duster behind her ear, clasped her hands in front of her, and affected a much more serious expression. “Right, first thing first. Welcome home, sir. Would you like dinner, a bath, or me?” she lifted the sides of her frock and curtsied. She definitely had nothing on underneath.

“I would like an explanation.”

She tilted her head to the side, her skirts still lifted. “Isn’t it obvious? I’m a maid.”

I sighed and squeezed the space between my eyes when I felt a migraine come on. “I gathered that, Luna. I meant, why are you being a maid here?” I reached over and pulled her hands away to let the dress fall back down.

I was already terribly confused. I didn’t need to be surprisingly aroused either.

She clutched my wrists in turn, swiveled us in a circle, and began skipping backwards. I had no option but to stumble along as she pulled us towards the table.

“You really should check your owl for messages more frequently, Harry. Mrs Tonks said she’d let you know I was stopping by.” She slipped out of my grip, divested me of my auror robes and pushed me down into a dining chair.

“What’s Andi got to do with this?” I’d received no such owl.

“Oh!” She brought a finger up to her lip and began thinking. “Was I supposed to send the letter?” She shrugged. My quidditch trained eyes immediately tracked her jiggling cleavage, the less than modest uniform exposed. “Well, at least you’re all caught up now.”

“Luna, I have no idea what’s going on. Not even a little bit.”

“An auror really should have a much better developed sense of deduction, Harry!” She scolded me lightly with her hands on her hips.

“Then, consider me thankful you’re not a criminal mastermind, Luna. I can find a needle in a haystack, just not your point.”

“What’s so hard about finding a needle in a haystack? Just accio it.” She moved around me and placed her hands on my shoulders.

I wasn’t expecting a massage, but as she began kneading the base of my neck, I wasn’t mad at it.

“Hermione recently managed to push through the House Elf Rights and Protection for Elf Servitude bill she’s been working on, right?”

“Mhm,” I sighed as her shockingly powerful hands made pudding out of my muscles. “Not a glorious name, though.” She wasn’t explaining anything as far as I was concerned, but by this point, I was struggling to care. Luna was always going to be Luna.

“Given their new freedoms, I wanted to right an investigative piece for the quibbler to bring insight into the lives of house-elves to help the new legislation get more support.” She pressed down hard on a knot. I felt and heard the series of alarming cracks. My muscles loosened and my head fell back and landed on something soft.

I looked up. Luna didn’t even stutter as I rested on her chest. “Makes sense. In a you way. But why come to me if you just wanted to work like an elf?”

“I need someone to compare me to one and the only people I know who’ve had house-elves are you and the Malfoys.” Her hands left my shoulders and slithered down the front of my torso. “I don’t fancy returning to their mansion. Mrs Tonks said your house was a mess and needed cleaning anyway, so I figured we’d have a mutually beneficial exchange.”

Button after button, she popped open my shirt. She leaned further in, swaddling me deeper into her bosom. Her hands reached for my trousers and began undoing my belt. “Luna?”

“You haven’t asked for a bath or dinner,” her hands unwaveringly unbuckled me. “So I assumed you’d prefer me first. Was I wrong?”

She smelled so good. Like peaches and freshly cut grass. I couldn’t focus when her nails began lightly scratching at the short patch of fur above my cock. “House-elves, hngh!” She fully gripped my shaft and began pumping, “don’t normally do this.”

“That’s a wonderful note, Harry.” She continued to wank me off. “I’ll have to mention that carnal satisfaction is not traditionally part of their duties.”

“Then why are you doing it?” I stupidly asked. The blood my brain needed had fully flooded elsewhere, clearly.

“Because you seem to be quite enjoying me masturbating your penis. Your large size makes it quite easy. Shall I stop?”

“No!” I reached back and gripped her ass over her fluffy skirt. “I mean… er, only if you want to.”

“Oh, goody! I’m quite enjoying this, too.”

I nestled into her neck as she rubbed me. Her grip was firm, and she pumped like her life depended on it. I wouldn’t last long. I felt my release building up, turned my head and latched on to her neck, right where her pulse would be, and kissed her. “That tickles!” She giggled. Her other hand rose and punched my nipple.

“I’m there,” I growled.

“Let it all go.” She soothed. My ass clenched, hips lifted off the chair, and I moaned for all I was worth as a stream of white erupted from me.

Luna squeezed her index and thumb around my shaft even tighter. Slowly, she extracted every last drop of cum from base to tip. I flopped back in my seat, panting heavily. I watched as Luna brought her hand to her face. It was absolutely coated in my sperm.

She took a light whiff, and with an ounce of hesitation, sucked my cum off her fingers, one by one. “Salty.”

I didn’t even have time to flag, and the little minx had me harder than arithmancy.

I rose to my feet and approached Luna as she lapped up the last of my essence from her hand. My member drew her attention when it poked her belly. “It’s time for dessert.” I said, as I bit her ear.

She palmed my face, thankfully with the unsoiled hand, and pushed me away. “No pudding until you eat your dinner.” She sniffed deeply. “And either way, you’re far too pungent for dinner. Bath first!” She demanded.

“Only if you’ll join me.”

“I don’t enjoy repeating myself, Harry. Of course, I’ll be in the shower with you. I must do everything a house-elf does.”

“Luna… house-elves don’t bathe their employers.” I picked her up by her waist and made my way upstairs to my bathroom.

“I really must get a quick quotes quill.”

Once we reached the shower, given that all I had on was half a shirt and my socks, I stepped in under the water first.

I kept my eyes on her. Luna enjoyed that, too.

She started with the band on her head. She moved to her shoulders and teased off sleeves. Her dress slipped, but she caught it before it could fall and reveal her body to me.

She grinned at me slyly. It was in these rare moments I knew Luna almost always knew what she was doing. I wouldn’t let the dotty act fool me.

She meandered over to her lacy cuffs, sadistically delaying her dress even longer.

“The water won’t be hot forever, Lovegood.” I urged her to take it all off.

“Oh, that’s not good. I don’t like cold showers. They always make my nipples so painfully hard.” She whined playfully. She let her slutty little maid outfit go. It fell to the floor, much like my jaw.

She was shorn, not a stray strand of hair from the neck down putting her sweet pussy on display.

They looked plump, juicy, and ripe for a good taste. I’d be sure to have for dessert and introduce myself to the shy clitoris that was hiding away.

Her breasts were firm and sat high on her chest, a little less than a handful. Cute pink areolas puffed up and ready for a good suckle, and her nipples, akin to Luna Lovegood herself, curved upwards. They were thick and round and put to mind her butter beer cork necklace.

All that remained were her stockings. Two white wardens keeping her lithe legs locked away. I trailed my gaze up. Her thighs weren’t skinny by any means, but she had a gap between wide enough that I could see the round curve of her cheeks peeking through.

My hands twitched, remembering how soft and plush they felt.

“If only you looked at the quibbler as intently as you do my body, Harry.” She joked. “You know what else you can do with the quibbler?” She twirled on her foot, her back facing me now. Her legs spread and slowly she bent, legs taut, knees straight, she pulled her stocking off. “Read it upside down.”

My brain leaked out of my ears. But not just from the nudity. “Luna, what is that?”

She looked at me with concern from her vantage between her knees. Her hands had circled her ankles with her golden tresses tickling her toes. My mouth was drooling as much as her second set of lips was.

She followed my pointing finger (and penis) to the… accessory plugged into her last hole.

“Hm? Oh! That’s a dirigible plum.”

“Not that I’m complaining, but why’s it, you know, shoved up there?”

Fully nude, she slipped over to me. Her pert tits jiggled wildly, and I went dizzy, trying to follow their mesmerizing motion.

She jumped into my arms. I barely caught her without falling over. She was lighter than anything. The shower soaked her, flattened her silky hair, and the rivulets of water caressed every inch of her skin. I’d never thought I’d be so jealous.

She pressed her core right up to my cock. Soft, warm, and eager for my entrance. “Your house is full of umbugular slashkilters, Harry. The Dirigible plum prevents them from invading me.”

She rested her arms on my shoulders, wrapped her silky smooth legs around my waist, rose herself up, lined me up, and plunged me right into her.

The shower may we’ll have been pouring sand on me. She was so wet. I hissed when her velvety folds drowned my cock. I needed more. I snatched her cheeks in a bruising clutch, lifted her up, and sank her down. I pumped her, fucked her, claimed her.

Oh! Ungh! Plap plap plap! I was relentless. I grunted and thrust into her as she mewled sweetly in my ear. Her limbs around me wishing they could squeeze me as tightly as her cunt was.

“You should have been less worried about creatures, and more about me invading you.” I fisted her hair near the back of her scalp and pulled her into a searing kiss.

Mmm! Mngh! Haah! She writhed all over me, her body twisting and turning as she came all over my cock. I felt the spray drench my abdomen. She broke our smooch, arched her back and screamed up at the ceiling.

I inhaled her twitching nipple. I could taste the lotion she’d used that day as I greedily sucked in nearly half her tit. I let myself go and filled her up.

“You’re in my tummy.” She barely huffed out.

I felt her hands gently caress my hair as she laid sweet little kisses on my head. I kept lapping at her wonderful breast.

She reached down between us to where I was plunged into her. She scooped up the cum leaking out of her. “That reminds me. You’re out of milk. House-elves get groceries, don’t they?”

Never change, Luna.