Chapter 42: Un-PHO-gettable (Patreon)

Chapter 42: Un-PHO-gettable

Three bricks up and two across. November 2008.

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~ Topic: Bas Rhys Gossip

In: Boards > Misc > Creevey’s Catalog > BasCrack

Admin: Blog_Beetle

Posted on 3 November 2008

Another week, another fresh bucket of bas Rhys news. Ever since the phenomenal (and award winning) Order of the Phoenix, we've been locked out of Hogwarts. But that doesn't mean we don't have intrepid eyes and ears on our problematic Potter. 

Our beloved boy has been a source for news near constantly this last year and a half. 

And we've got the latest bit of carnage, courtesy of our ever diligent @MadEye_Trudy 

>MadEye_Trudy (House Elf)

Video embed [ TopGears12E1 Bas Best Bits ]

Permalink: https://www.youtube.com/watch/Jmp0w3r_TG_Bas/

>FabePrewVit (Ravenclaw)

I don't even like cars but I watched the whole episode. They're pretty funny I might watch more.

>ButterBeerBelly (Hufflepuff)

Try out their specials first

>Pr0fV3ct0r (Hufflepuff)

My heart just about stopped when I saw him get on that bike! Those things are DEATH TRAPS!. \(O0O)/

>SkrewtOnTheBarbie (Hufflepuff)

… He was literally in a helicopter (read magic carpet). The bike doesn't look so dangerous in comparison 

>Accio_Bum (Gryffindor)

We've all seen how he drives. He's more sideways than straight on. A bike is liable to throw him upside down. How will we get the last movie if he snaps his neck?

>Hagridonkulous (Gryffindor)

Someone's got their priorities straight lol

>FabePrewVit (Ravenclaw)

The Aston at least won the challenge, did he actually buy it? For a celebrity we don't really see him throwing his money about 

>GoldenBitch50 (Slytherin)

No but he did buy this: 

Permalink:https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-tytacstrdlx/Bas_on_a_bus

>Trollina_2-2 (Death Eater)

Pfft yeah right. This all just publicity stunts. Bus fees isn't doing any of this. It's all the studios using him like a puppet. I bet he's not even an orphan really.

>Pr0fV3ct0r (Hufflepuff)

Ur not srs

>Kimmy_Con (Gryffindor)

No, Sirius cares about Harry @Trollina_2-2 just str8 up hates Bas like Snape does Harry

>Bookworm/notale (Ravenclaw)

Matter of public record. Bas Rhys grew up at that specific foster home during his early years before Harry Potter. He has no living relatives that we know of. 

>Kimmy_Con (Gryffindor)

My heart broke when I found that out, and then went 2 pieces when I saw what he did for those sweet little foster kids. Makes sense in a horrible way - no wonder he’s such a good Harry. His life is almost a movie in itself 

>SkrewtOnTheBarbie (Hufflepuff)

Oh I'd watch so totally watch that - especially if he plays himself 

>Lady$Milfoy (Slytherin)

What's this about Bas playing with himself?

>Trollina_2-2 (Death Eater)

Oh yeah? That's crap! You losers have all drunk the koolaid. Oscar noms are all bribes and scams anyway. Open your eyes sheeple! Those women that constantly hang around him? I’ll bet anything they’re related to him somehow. it's all fake.

He can try and act. We all know he's shit at that. sweet in his public persona but we have clear evidence what he's like in private or all are you cult brains forgetting him attacking those innocent paparazzi? He ruined my sweet Emma's birthday party. She's the only one I feel sorry for - fucking studio probably made her invite him for good press!

>ButterBeerBelly (Hufflepuff)

Hoooh boy. I'm gonna need to take a deep breath for this one. @Bookworm/notale hit us with some of that deep cut lore

>Bookworm/notale (Ravenclaw)

Anita Specter - senior associate level talent manager with Endeavor Agency in LA. Hired as Bas Rhys’s talent agent mid 2000. No relation.

Alias “Cadbury” I couldn't find anything. Heavily restricted profile. General consensus is she was brought on as a caretaker for Bas. First appearance was noted in early 2001 and recently retired once Bas hit 18. Also no relation.

>Hagridonkulous (Gryffindor)

Can sort of add to this. Ran into him recently at a train station dropping her off - tho I’m bad with faces and nearly missed meeting him because i didn't recognize him. I don't think he likes showing his face in public. He was pretty bummed out I could tell but he still spent like 10 minutes entertaining my lil sis. 

>Kimmy_Con (Gryffindor)

I’ve already told you all he's suuuuper nice in person 

>2Quaffles1Cup (Ravenclaw)

He even autographed my chest!

>Lady$Milfoy (Slytherin)

Do you think they’re looking to hire someone new as a replacement? 

>Pr0fV3ct0r (Hufflepuff)

As far as his oscar night went its not like he won THOUGH HE SHOULD HAVE! Rewatch OOTP 4 godsake, then try to convince any1 here he didn't do an award worthy job. 

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>FabePrewVit (Ravenclaw)

Ignoring the orphan stuff. @Trollina_2-2 is not entirely out of their mind. There's been some weird stuff coming out about him for over a year now. Remember those on set photos and that article about half blood prince’s production?

>Kimmy_Con (Gryffindor)

R u talking about him being caught looking like he was crying after JK exited his trailer?  Bcuz the afterword in Deathly Hallows disproves any friction there - no way Rowling published that gushing thanks unless she meant it. 

>SkrewtOnTheBarbie (Hufflepuff)

Or those gruesome photos of his hand being slashed open while filming? Thas commitment to the craft you cunt!

>Blog_Beetle (Head of House)

Time out. Warning to @SkrewtOnTheBarbie. Please keep civil. This thread is pretty lenient with topics and media discussed but we do have our lines.

>Pr0fV3ct0r (Hufflepuff)

Speaking of if ur also one to believe the RUMORS the cast were fighting during filming, then y did they all show up and get sloshed at Emma's party?

>2Quaffles1Cup (Ravenclaw)

Lily Allen was there too. I heard she's dating Rupert.

>GoldenBitch50 (Slytherin)

Not anymore she's not 

>Accio_Bum (Gryffindor)

LAWL

>Kimmy_Con (Gryffindor)

That photo of him spraying down those cammie creeps had been my desktop wallpaper for months!

>Accio_Bum (Gryffindor)

Say hello to my lil friend!

>SkrewtOnTheBarbie (Hufflepuff)

Gawd what I wouldn't pay to watch him be a villain. 

>Bookworm/notale (Ravenclaw)

You sort of can. Here's a list of different roles and TV shows he's done:

Burn Notice Season 1 Episode 9: “Hard Bargain”Character - Perry Clark

30 Rock Season 2 Episode 7: “Cougars”Character - Jamie

Psych Season 2 Episode 15: “Black and Tan: A Crime of Fashion”Character - Hassenfeffer

>2Quaffles1Cup (Ravenclaw)

Omg where can I watch these I neeeeeed it asdgtjfkjgjih

>ButterBeerBelly (Hufflepuff)

You can probably rent or buy a DVD of the show or catch a rerun if you're lucky. I just wish it was on Netflix. 

>Harmony-Armory (Hufflepuff)

What's that?

>ButterBeerBelly (Hufflepuff)

The future. It's like YouTube but for actual tv shows behind a pretty reasonable pay wall.

>GoldenBitch50 (Slytherin)

Your wish might be coming true. There's rankings in the industry that Warner bros  have signed some sort of contract with them for their entire back and forthcoming catalog. Harry Potter included.

>FabePrewVit (Ravenclaw)

Wow, uh wasnt expecting to such a rabid response taking me down. But you still have to admit it was a shitty move attacking the paparazzi like that. They’re just journalists doing their job…

>SkrewtOnTheBarbie (Hufflepuff)

Is it also part of their job to yell obscenities and crawl on the floor to get upskirt shots of Emma’s puss the very minute she turned into an adult? @Trollina_2-2 you hate him but if it wasn't for Bas there'd be millions of pervs ogling ‘your sweet Emma’ bits and bobs. - not to mention the other girls who were also there. Is that what you want?

>Trollina_2-2 (Death Eater)

It's just a bit of skin. So what if she shows it off a little? She owes us that much at least for being her fans for so long. 

>Blog_Beetle (Head of House)

I wish I could send you to Azkaban for that. Disgusting.

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>Accio_Bum (Gryffindor)

You want Bas being weird? I’ll give you Bas being weird. Has anyone seen that Uniqlo commercial he did? 

> MadEye_Trudy (House Elf)

Video embed [ Uniqlo LifeWear Bas Rhys ]

Permalink: https://www.youtube.com/watch/n1c3pant5…Running_Bas

>2Quaffles1Cup (Ravenclaw)

Zoowee mama. You think they’ll ever auction the underwear in that ad? Well either way I’m heading down to Uniqlo to get myself a replica pair. 

>Hagridonkulous (Gryffindor)

Do you think they only have that line of clothes in Japan? Looks like good stuff but I'm unsure whether I can get some of it where I am in the UK

>Kimmy_Con (Gryffindor)

Nah they play this same advert here in the states. Looks like all the global stores are carrying the same cargo. 

>Harmony-Armory (Hufflepuff)

Huh who knew Uniqlo had more to offer than HP merch?

>Trollina_2-2 (Death Eater)

Wait a damn second. Weren’t you bitches just complaining about me doing the same thing with Emma by objectifying her?

>2Quaffles1Cup (Ravenclaw)

Bas is a boy so it's different. Emma didn't want it and Bas clearly invites it. The ad was one thing, but remember his little pretend striptease during American idol?

>MadEye_Trudy (House Elf)

Video embed [ American Idol Finale Midnight Train to Georgia ]

Permalink: https://www.youtube.com/watch/cHOo2..BRdjkblgvr/

>SkrewtOnTheBarbie (Hufflepuff)

He can't sing but he sure can dance. Pure tucker.

>MmeMalkin (Ravenclaw)

I have to say though I'm pleasantly surprised at how suitable he looks in all these different looks and outfits. Frumpy assassin, boy next door, goth model, disco dancer. And that's not even counting how dashing he looks in all his red carpet appearances! It's so hard to both blend into a role and still manage to stand out through it.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. He must find some way to get on a runway!

>FabePrewVit (Ravenclaw)

Credit where credit is due, I hadn't realized how wide Bas' acting range was. Hard to believe that all those different roles were played by Harry Potter. He really disappears into his roles. It's not just his wardrobe that was so varied - I think he's becoming worth watching all by himself imo.

>Lady$Milfoy (Slytherin)

He'd be phenomenal at roleplay, wouldn't he?

>ButterBeerBelly (Hufflepuff)

Thanksgiving is around the corner, pretty good time to catch Tropic Thunder. Should be a total balls 2 wall action romp.

>MmeMalkin (Ravenclaw)

Well…. I do love a man in uniform. Bas is a soldier in this one isn't he?

>Kimmy_Con (Gryffindor)

Oh yeah

>Trollina_2-2 (Death Eater)

Ha! As if anyone's gonna watch that crock of crap. Another flop for Bas ‘Please buy my movie tickets’. Media whore. He's nothing without the Potter movies. 

>Bookworm/notale (Ravenclaw)

Opening week box office crossed 70 Million worldwide. Going by industry speculation and box office patterns for this time of year it is projected that the final theatrical take home for the movie could be anywhere from 300 to 400 million. 

This is huge for a mature rated movie. Not surprising though even without Bas the names attached to tropic thunder are massive.

Although seeing what forum we're on I'm sure more than most of you wouldn't have even had this on their radar without our Bas.

>Kimmy_Con (Gryffindor)

Wait wait wait if @Trollina_2-2 hasn't seen tropic thunder then that means they haven't seen that scene either. 

>SkrewtOnTheBarbie (Hufflepuff)

Oh can I be the one to tell them? Please let me be the one to tell them!

>Trollina_2-2 (Death Eater)

What are you all on about? Just spit it out already.

>2Quaffles1Cup (Ravenclaw)

Someone's about to discover the secret of the lady garden. Hahahahaha

> MadEye_Trudy (House Elf)

Video embed [Tropic Thunder Fake Trailer rip Lady Garden ]

Permalink: https://www.dailymotion.com/watch/2hrny4U/

>Harmony-Armory (Hufflepuff)

I knew there was an uptick in Harry x Hermione fics theseast couple of weeks but I had no reason to assume this was why. And I'm very very happy for it.

>Pr0fV3ct0r (Hufflepuff)

There was A LOT of talk about it last year. But I dunno if I'm the only 1 who's noticed but Bas hasn't really been stepping out with the ladies recently has he? XD

I thought that maybe there wuz something goin on with his agent like an illicit love affair or whatever after that article but seeing this… well. >(///)< MAYBE there was actually more credibility 2 those rumours that Bas and Emma have something under the sheets.

>Trollina_2-2 (Death Eater)

This is smut! This is child porn! How can Hollywood just have this out so loud and proud? 

>Kimmy_Con (Gryffindor)

Big if true. @Pr0fV3ct0r you know I think you're right. It's not by much but Emma is older than him so the pattern still tracks. 

>Trollina_2-2 (Death Eater)

Admin address the above comment! How are any of you ok with this? Someone needs to report this to the FBI! NONONONO

>GoldenBitch50 (Slytherin)

Oh calm down, will you? All it was was just a lot of squeaking wood, a banging head board, and some admittedly lewd hand holding. 

>SkrewtOnTheBarbie (Hufflepuff)

hold on, I'm confused. So no problem if strangers are trying to click creep shots of her coochie, but you draw the line at a tame implied sex scene? 

>Lady$Milfoy (Slytherin)

I'd have loved him all to myself. But they'd look cute together if this was true.

>Trollina_2-2 (Death Eater)

NOOOO NO NOOO GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF MY HERMIONE. 

>xXxHadrianBlackxXx (Gryffindor)

My last fanfic was pretty successful. I'm catching the harmony resurgence wave early. DM me for the link to my latest fic. 

>Accio_Bum (Gryffindor)

Pucker up. Time for some lemon.

>Trollina_2-2 (Death Eater)

GRaaAaAaaH BAN BAN BAN BAN BAN 

User has been sent to Azkaban. Posting privileges have been rescinded for a period of 30 days. Please refrain from spam posting in the future.

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