Step 6: Haggle (Patreon)

Step 6: Haggle

Entertainment took many many forms in the Pokemon world. Outside of battling, there was an entire ocean of industries and fields that gained eyes and attention. 

And often with that attention came the corresponding fame and power for those at the pinnacle. 

Mind you, it wasn’t just the people with posters on fans’ walls, the ace Pokemon also had plenty of profitable merch. 

Coordinators were likely the first to come to mind. Like Lisia and Ali from Hoenn. Fashion modeling was also big business. But if captivating creatures striking pretty poses wasn’t enough for you, there were plenty of other options. 

Pokestar Studios was pumping them out like Daschbuns these days. I, myself, was looking forward to the latest installment in the Mission Impidimpossible franchise.

Were you more in tune with sweet tunes? No problem, you could easily buy tickets to The Grookeyz’ latest concert and listen as your parents complained about how the artists of their bygone eras were superior, and force you to sit and appreciate songs by The Orbeatles or Morpeko Jackson. 

Or maybe you were someone who preferred life outside of the confines of a Pokeball. What better way to get your blood pumping and heart racing than one of the various Pokemon Grand Prix? Everyone’s heard of Rhyhorn racing, Lapras surfing, and Swellow gliding these days. 

And for those serious about the physical side, the Pokeathlon had more games and sports than you could Rock Throw a Geodude at. 

Visual vanity aside, physical prowess aside, let’s have a heart-to-heart about the mind. 

Intellectualism was still highly coveted in the Pokemon world. Each region’s professor was a scholastic rockstar. Usually a powerful authority and in many respects the backbone of a nation.

But all of that, even combined, paled in comparison to Pokemon battling.

The champion notwithstanding, no one could hold a Litwick to the gym leaders. Just imagine it, all that clout, all the might of their Pokemon teams, and all that authority that they held as leaders of their community rolled up in a lucrative package. 

Now, imagine that same thing descending on you with the fury of an entire flock of Fearow. 

Falkner was shorter than me. I’m pretty sure he was a couple years younger, too, but none of that mattered when he sunk his talons into the collar of my shirt, hefted me off the ground and wrung me out like old laundry. Aura could accomplish some incredible things, and there wasn’t a gym leader worth their salt, whose body wasn’t absolutely brimming with it.

“Welcome to my humble establishment. How may I help you today?” My boosted height put me right in the center between Falkner and his gigantic alpha Skarmory. Hopefully, one would provide an amicable response. Unsurprisingly, at this point, the metallic raptor seemed more amenable than his trainer. Which was the opposite for me because Baloo was ready to Bite his face off the moment Falkner took two steps towards me. Which is why I’d immediately recalled him. 

“Rich bon-bons who’ve stuffed their Sentret with TMs I can handle. The odd trainer that’s taught their Pokemon and unusual move is rare at the first badge level, but I can still swallow forking over the Zephyr badge if they used a clever tactic.”

“It’s a little windy up here. You mind putting me down? I might be able to hear you better that way.” My feet remained kicking the air.

“What I won’t stomach is having one of my birds losing out to a damned Metapod, of all things, just because it pulled an Electroweb out of its butt.” 

In the branch of Pokemon mathematics that I’ve been developing, String Shot + electric type aura training = Electroweb. It was a deal I couldn’t refuse. That bug catcher had a net full of berries that I didn’t even think grew in this part of Johto. 

“Do you have any idea the devastation you wrought on my win-loss record, especially this early in the circuit?” Clearly, someone’s feathers were ruffled.

Not my problem, though probably still for the best to try smoothing them out. “Maybe it’s just because you have my head so high up in the clouds that I have a good view of it, but surely you also see the silver lining in this, don’t you?” Novel battle practice was always good exp.

“The only thing I want to see is the back of you walking off in the distance.” My feet, I was happy to say, finally met solid ground again. 

No longer in a death grip, I straightened out my shirt. “With all due respect, that’s not happening.” I planted my nerve with all ten toes. 

When someone became a gym leader, I don’t doubt that the only no’s that they got used to hearing came from challengers lamenting their losses. Falkner’s eyes narrowed and his Skarmory’s wings flared. Nidoran owed me no loyalty, so had long since scurried off into my tent. Yecu, on the other Helping Hand, had evidently grown quite fond of me over the last couple of weeks and came scuttling to my rescue with his large pincer waving threateningly. 

“If you won’t leave on your own, don’t think I won’t make you.”

Cute little bugger. Just because I didn’t make you my lunch doesn’t mean that Skarmory wouldn’t. I nabbed him before you could get himself eaten. 

With a Krabby on my hip and a chip on my shoulder, I stared the edgelord down. “It’s a free region. I can go wherever and do whatever I want.” Now, if we were in Violet City, however, even league law wouldn’t be able to supersede the will of a gym leader. There was very good reason I parked up in the middle of route 36 despite how uncomfortable it could be.

Spend an extended period of time without modern plumbing, then tell me otherwise. 

He gnashed his teeth, and something rumbled in the back of his throat. Who would have thought that even people could learn Growl? “Fine, then I challenge you to a battle!” Of course, the default conflict resolution method in this world. “And when you lose, I want you at least two full routes away from my Violet.”

“No, thanks.”

“What do you mean ‘no thanks?’ I’m challenging you to a gym battle. You have to agree!”

One hand fell on my brow and I facetiously panned across the area, as if searching for something. “No stands for spectators to sit in, no lights and cameras for broadcasting, and most importantly, no elaborate arena to battle in. As far as I can see, I’m not a gym leader and I’m not obligated to take on every Pokemon battle. That’s your job. And it’s not like I get anything from battling you, anyway. If I lose, I’m basically getting kicked out of my own store. What incentive do I have?”

“Of course you get something out of it. You get the gym badge! That’s what everyone wants…”

Few things stung like a dismissive shrug. “Meh. I can challenge you whenever I want to, and right now, I don’t want to. Unless…”

“Unless what? Tell me!”

“Do you really want to battle me that badly?” 

“Yes!”

“Well, in that case, since you’ve attached a condition to your victory, I’d like to add my own.”

“Fine, as if you’d win.” Somebody needs to collect their silver spoon kid before he sold his house for Pokebeans, and not even the magical kind 

Considering I was literally living on the streets, I better have some smarts. “if I win, I want GTS acces-”

“You’d get that if you beat me, anyway.”

“Let me finish. I want GTS access with the inter-region function unlocked.”

“That function is only reserved for three badge holders and up. I can’t give that to you.”

“Then no deal. I’ll get to you when I get to you. In the meantime, I think I’m going to be very comfortable right here.” Truth be told, I’d be happy either way. But having international Pokemon trade access this early would only be a benefit. Enough that I’d have very few qualms about relocating somewhere else. Even if only to avoid the inevitable tension.

As it stands right now, as a zero badge holder, I’m not allowed to trade Pokemon. I’ll be able to do so only once I’ve acquired at least one badge. Then I can trade via any Pokemon center, the GTS or global trade system, or even just the Pokeportal function on my Pokegear. But the caveat is, they would only permit me to trade locally within Johto from a restricted list of Pokemon native to the region. It’s only with the acquisition of a third gym badge, that the league feels comfortable enough with the trainers’ competence enough to allow foreign Pokemon on their team. Which is when I can apply for inter-region GTS. 

But if I can get that in one badge, why wouldn’t I try? Why should I deny myself the opportunity to get some of my favorite Pokemon on my team as early as possible? 

It would have been nice to have from day one, but even my sponsor, Mr Pokemon, was unwilling to grant me such a privilege so early in my journey. He was adamant that I either earn it the right way or figure out some way to get it myself, because he refused to give it to me without appropriate merit.

“Grr. You have a deal. But I’m serious. When you lose, I don’t want to see you near Violet. Go ruin some other gym leaders’ metrics.”

I’d have to thank Falkner for his poor impulse control and the opportunity he presented to me by coming here in his blind frustration. I wish there was a lemon Pokemon so that I could make the relevant pun right now regarding making lemonade. Thank Arceus for sheltered prodigies. 

“I’m going to need that in writing, please.”

“A gym leader’s word is enough. I won’t besmirch my honor by going back on it. How dare you even suggest otherwise!” I should have suspected his attitude correlated with that hairstyle of his. He climbed back up on Skarmory’s back, who bent his knees ready to take off. “I’ll see you tomorrow and then never again.”

“Tssss,” I sucked air in through my teeth in that universal display of disappointment. “Tomorrow’s tough for me. I have a full schedule.”

“Wh-what?!” Skarmory’s wings fell back to its side. 

I gestured openly to the tiny Nidoran shyly, poking its head out of my tent’s entrance. “As you can see, you rudely interrupted me during the middle of my work. I’m currently booked out for the rest of the week.” When you’re talking to someone so gullible, it’s difficult to restrain the lies. I’ll be done with Nidoran tomorrow. I’d be as stupid as Faulkner to look a gift Horsea in the mouth. “How about I pencil you in first thing next week? I’ll be at your gym doors bright and early.”

“You better be.” Final warning given, Skarmory zoomed off in a gust of wind.

The sudden burst buffeted my cozy campsite. The fire went off, my pans clattered, and both Krabby and I fell on our backs. 

I had been beginning to feel a little guilty about potentially taking too much advantage of someone so naïve. But I gotta be honest, his entrance plus the little stunt he just pulled Sucker Punched away any hesitance I might have had. 

Come Distortion Zone with Giratina or high water with Kyogre, I won’t be satisfied until I pounded that crowing chicken’s team into the dirt.