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Cases Please! (Patreon)

Published:
2022-05-24 15:01:56
Imported:
2022-05

Content

Hullo! Bailiff Jake here. The Supreme Crit is convening this very eve, so please submit your (BRIEF, I beg!) cases on this thread and we will bring you swift justice.

Your humble bailiff,

Jake

Comments

Alexander Robinson-Gabel

I have a GM I love playing with. But everytime we die or a new player starts. He has them all start at a lower level than everyone else. Then he stops everyone else from leveling up until the party levels are equal. Am I in the wrong to think this is INSANE. Why not just have new players/characters start at the same level as the party???

Anonymous

Most Righteous Justices of the Supreme Crit and Holy Co-Popes of the Church; and very important Bailiff. I present the case of the absolutely hammered wife. I am very fortunate to have convinced my wife and my closest friends to play Dungeons and Dragons for the first time. This was also my first ever real DND experience and I was DMing (yikes). I was very nervous wanting it to go well as to not squander this opportunity. I spent hundreds of dollars on minis, paint, brushes, music, terrain pieces, and books. I also spent weeks preparing for a single session with what I felt was just the right balance for a table of newbies. My wife asked me to make her character for her, even though she pretty much knows how to play from watching D20 and Naddpod with me. Since I will be dead in the grave before I deny my wife a single thing she ever asks or set a single boundary, I obliged despite my misgivings. After building my world, NPCs, tactical terrain, and rehearsing my voices, the day had finally come to play. After hanging out for a while we all had some drinks, and I noticed that my wife was at the bottom of her second bottle of wine and was a bit worried that she might not have her faculties about her to help the other players. My fears were realized once she started sexting me during our friend's character introduction. I thought it prudent not to get horny while DMing since I stand most of the time, so I started ignoring the texts. Throughout the 3 hour session, she went in and out of consciousness twice, forgot her character's name and backstory, asked me to take her character's turns in combat, demanding changes in background music, and overall not paying any attention to what was going on. Although I was frustrated, everyone thankfully still had fun and planned to play again at the end of the night. During pillow talk, I sternly told her how much I loved her and that it would be ideal if she was a little more present during the game. Justices, am I right for being so hard on my spouse, or should I just be happy that I have a DND campaign with all of my favorite people? I await your most harsh punishment for me or your most firm warning for my wife.

Anonymous

I am once again asking for the supreme crit and bailiff for preemptive judgement. I want to run a one shot with a particular gimmick. Create your characters but then, last minute or just as the game starts, i have the players swap their lowest and highest stat. The issue is every time I mention this idea to someone, I get told about how bad of an idea it is and it’ll ruin the fun of the game for everyone involved. Am I in the wrong here for my desire to see low str/ high int barbarians, or smart and wise bards with 0 charisma? Am I the villain of the table. Or am i just trying to feel good. Keep in mind, there is only me to punish or not punish.

Anonymous

Honorable Justices and lowly Bailiff, I bring before you the case of the spiteful DM. I play a Goliath Barbarian in the ghosts of Saltmarsh. We had gotten to 7th level gaining money and magic items when I decided to purchase a cloak of displacement in order to reduce the number of hits on myself and allow reckless attack to be more useful. I am typically the main front line which has put me unconscious plenty of times. Ever since this purchase my DM has been having a tough time hitting my character. This has made him begin targeting my character even more and turn to making attempts to kill my character, steal the cloak, or destroy said cloak which I had spent all my saved up gold in order to get this. The most recent encounter was my 10th lvl barbarian fighting a 17th level Wizard and winning due to resistances and the cloak causing multiple misses. Is my DM justified for trying to take away such a powerful magic item or is there another way he could counter it?

Anonymous

Venerated Justices and Special-In-His-Own-Way Bailiff Jake, I present to you: The Case of the Invisible Spider and the Very Lucky Shark Man. My party was infiltrating an underground lizardfolk city that had been taken over by sahuagin, henceforth referred to as "shark people" because the name is a bitch to pronounce. My warlock sent his imp familiar, Noodle, ahead to scout, as he could turn into a spider, turn invisible, and then crawl along the 10-foot high tunnel ceiling. My DM asked me to roll a stealth check with advantage because Noodle was invisible. I expected a very low DC, so I was only lightly concerned when I only got a 10. I was still surprised, however, when the DM informed me that a shark-man guard patrolling beneath Noodle decided to reach up with his spear and randomly attack the exact spot on the ceiling where the invisible Noodle was hiding. I protested that it would be nearly impossible to see OR hear a regular spider 10 feet above you in a dimly lit cave, and even then, there was no reason to try to STAB a random spider in a cave. The DM, however, overruled my protest and proceeded with the attack. The attack missed, I used my action to banish Noodle safely to his pocket dimension, and we ended up brute-forcing our way in with a 3-session combat slog, but I still wonder: was Noodle wrongly denied his epic scouting mission, or am I just sore because Noodle's Cool Stealth Combo didn't work? I humbly await your judgement.

Liam Derrington

May it please the court and put a bee in the bonnet of the bailiff. When I was but a humble beginner DM, I once created an encounter for my players built around a magic ball that would suck anyone who touched it inside and could only be released by a magic pass-phrase. During the encounter, my party’s Mage decided to pick up the ball with mage hand and chuck it at the mini-boss I had painstakingly written for them, ending the fight before it even began as he got sucked up into the ball. I accepted my whomping and allowed it to happen. My question arises from the following; the party’s barbarian then suggested the mage use mage-hand again to put the ball in a satchel so they could release the mini-boss as a weapon of sorts in their next encounter. I allowed this, but when they released the mini-boss in the next encounter as they planned to I simply had him attack them almost immediately, absolutely clattering the healer in the process and nearly causing a TPK. My players argued that he would have been confused and attacked the new enemy that they were fighting, but I argued that trapping him in a ball would only have made him more mad at the party. Was I in the right? Or have I just condemned myself to being trapped in a ball? Many thanks.

Summer Tribe
>>84563022

This doesn't track at all, cloak of displacement is a fine item but it is not that busted. A level 17 wizard couldn't overcome it? This is mystifying to me, your DM either didn't read the item description or doesn't know what they're doing tactically. Almost any damaging AoE spell can turn off your cloak until your next turn regardless of if you make your save or not (I'm guessing you don't have a source of evasion). Alternatively a level 17 wizard could just cast a debuff or a control spell. I don't know what enemies Ghosts of Saltmarsh normally has but I'm sure they don't all only have single target attacks without any sources of advantage ever, official module designers aren't THAT unaware of what players can do. It really sounds like it's just your DM who is unaware of what his own creatures are capable of. If you're constantly passing checks because of resistances or something then the source of those resistances might be an issue, but based on the "difficulties" you're describing I think it's more likely your DM is inexperienced. Even if he really really really believes it's broken why wouldn't he just refund you a portion of the gold and give it a minute/long rest use or something? There are so many ways around this that don't involve going out of his way to destroy or steal the cloak.

Summer Tribe
>>84584919

Your DM is whack and your reasoning is utterly correct. Back in 3.5 being as small as a spider would give you wildly high advantage on stealth checks (+16 or something, it wasn't a great system) but frankly the more salient point that you bring up is that there's no reason for anyone to be on alert for a spider in the first place. Knowing when to use the dice to determine things is an important skill it sounds like your DM doesn't have. That or they just really really really didn't want you to succeed for some reason and weren't creative enough to come up with a decent response

Maya B
>>84608137

Omg I think they already recorded but PLEASE save this and resubmit next time it's a great one

Anonymous

Honorable Crit Justices (and Jake), I previously have dm'd one-shots, but nothing too long and only a handful of times. I wanted to do a mini-campaign with my group to give my Dm a chance to play a bit more and to get more experience.  what was supposed to be a session a week for ~5-7 weeks turned into months and months (partially because of scheduling issues with work (mostly mine - i work ~70+ hours a week as an attorney)), we finally get to the last session. One of my players on a d100 random generator a few sessions back got a dire wolf friend. It was initially supposed to only stick around for 1d but became a campaign member so I let him keep it. End of the campaign the PC's had to essentially teleport back in time to finish their quest (go to the future to save the past). There were only 5 spots in the transporter to get back and I essentially narrated them getting into the spots and going back in time, partially to just finish this campaign as fast as possible. Not giving my player a chance to try and find a way to bring the wolf back too (unless a PC gave up their spot, there was no possibility to bring back more without ruining the ritual). We finished the campaign and sometimes he still brings up his wolf. I'm asking if in my attempt to streamline and finish I railroaded him into leaving his wolf.  I await your judgment  ps. This was reviewed by the group including the PC who lost his wolf. 

Anonymous

Am I the only one who is having trouble with their posts? I have tried to share my case three times and it always disappears.

Anonymous

To the honorable Crit Justices and the bailiff who deserves the world, I present to you the Case of the Impossible Pirate Railroad. Our session started right after stopping yuan-ti cultists, whose boss nearly wiped the party (All survived, but pretty much all resources were gone.). After escaping the collapsing dungeon with some (ominous) loot& a chest full of money we made our way back to the mainland. After 4h we spotted prirates ships with aroun 70 pirates, who demanded our surrender. Besides our elf druid no one had gotten a long rest. Despite multiple high persuasion rolls we were given nothing beyond "be robbed blind or die". Combat did eventually start due to a rash decision of a newer player, which left most of the party frustrated with the encounter because it felt like there was nothing we could do (not even flee bc no dingys on the boat). During the very frustrated combat the DM said that this was supposed to be a GAMBLING (?) encounter and that we "didn't let the captain speak" which our fighter pointed out was BS. We had talked with the pirates for IRL 10 minutes back and forth, long enough for our paladin to offer his sexual services to the captain. During the fight itself there was 4 separate persuasion attempts to let us leave if we spared the captains life to which the DM said that there were 4 captains so his life didn't matter. After the captain died we were told that they'd try to sink out ship because the Captain is dead. Only after threatening the 1st mates life for the 3rd time we finally were offered parley. the session emded with everyone mad or frustrated The DM had prefaced this session with "remember not every encounter is winnable" which I get, but I can't help but be frustrated with a railroaded event, during which we were told we had choice but also blamed for taking the "wrong" course of action by not wanting to be robbed and left on our boat (which was implied) I surrender myself for judgment

Anonymous

Honourable Justices and the welcome-to-keep-order-in-any-Canadian-Court Bailiff Jake, I present to you the case of the neglected cleric. I was playing in my first real campaign with a large party of 6 in a homebrewed city focused campaign. It was requested by my DM and the other Party members that I play a cleric to be the defensive buffer / healer of the party. I took on the persona of a halfling who was a bookish textbook carrying knowledge cleric who works at the local museum. I took on the responsibility of being the defensive player / healer with enthusiasm, however every time we would get into a fight and by the time it came around to me either 1) no one wanted or needed a buff 2) the Paladin or Bard already healed people, 3) the sorcerer already buffed people, 4) someone took a potion out of the party bag that i was literally left holding. Because of the spells i stocked and having built my character to be a heavy support i wasn't very strong and often didn't have a lot of offensive positions i could take. I also tried to be more "caldwell" in my thinking and try and add some shenanigans or different ways of fighting, and would be told "no that's not how that works". In addition to this, after a particular battle I would always be the one that would remember to investigate and i would be the one, more often than not, to find the special "magic item", when i asked if i could keep it to help with battle and because i found it, the DM would say "no i made that for x player"...... Eventually i asked my DM if there was a way for me to find a cool item specifically for me to use, his response was "maybe eventually". After some time that campaign just ended because of scheduling issues than the pandemic, for which i am kind of grateful. But it still bugs me that i wasn't able to use my character to it's fullest. Am i wrong in thinking i was being neglected? or should my party have recognized my potential and given me a shot? humbly wait your honourable judgements

Summer Tribe
>>84642342

patreon is pretty messy, it's needlessly difficult to actually navigate the comments section and I too have had posts disappear in the past

Liam Derrington
>>84608137

Thank you! I submit it every time but there's a lot of us here and I guess I just haven't got lucky yet!

Anonymous

To Jakes judges and the Bodacious Balif. I have a case involving the decision of gamplay vs role-play. I've played in a campaign with my friends from high-school. Currently I had to leave this campaign due to personal emotions getting in hand both in and out of the campaign. Though personal intrigue isn't what I present to you all today ( I can understand if that portions a weird discussion for a podcast with your friends and partnership in mix) Our dm has told me that this world was role-playing heavy and said some fights could occur. With our setup we had our cleric, warlock and I wanted to build a family tree using bloodhunters. I was considering an adams family/wifcher heritage of weird with a hidden truth of magic society tries to hide. We eventually see our bbeg in a ballroom bash. He summons my old lycan pc turned lichdog and 3-6 more lycans turning citizens into more monsters. As the monsterhunter comprising the scene i went and got my sword. Didier swing to aim for our bbeg but rather slice the chair and tried to tell the maker of the beasts to make them scurry. And full on denied any idea of us succeeding.( I understand a we can't win fight though he hasn't given us an actual win from playing years prior) Without going murder hobo and just executing him. I casted zone of truth And for 20 actual minutes straight he 2speakd against every accusation i threw while even pointing to the monsters he made, asking if they are his creations of his making. Denying every attempt for me to talk or fight me way out. For my dm to save his villan. (Of which he deserves recompense for destroying a city,turning them into lycans) not the bbeg but 3-4 nobles of the table casted feeble mind on me. I kept passing until the last one of which if you don't know the spell makes the player lobotomised from their character. Judges I ask you: was I wrong to leave because my decision were never given merit or was I to extreme trying to involve my choice? I await your punishment. Postnote; I've also at this time found a new dnd group and we have a complete blast. Putting gameplay before story and having our parts of our character have usage and meaning helps me get involved into the story.

Anonymous

Honorable Crit Justices (and Jake), I previously have dm'd one-shots, but nothing too long and only a handful of times. I wanted to do a mini-campaign with my group to give my Dm a chance to play a bit more and to get more experience.  what was supposed to be a session a week for ~5-7 weeks turned into months and months (partially because of scheduling issues with work (mostly mine - i work ~70+ hours a week as an attorney)), we finally get to the last session. previously, one of my players on a d100 random generator a few sessions back got a dire wolf friend. It was initially supposed to only stick around for 1d but became a campaign member so I let him keep it. End of the campaign the PC's had to essentially teleport back in time to finish their quest (go to the future to save the past). There were only 5 spots in the transporter to get back and I essentially narrated them getting into the spots and going back in time, partially to just finish this campaign as fast as possible. Not giving my player a chance to try and find a way to bring the wolf back too (unless a PC gave up their spot, there was no possibility to bring back more without ruining the ritual). We finished the campaign and sometimes he still brings up his wolf. I'm asking if in my attempt to streamline and finish I railroaded him into leaving his wolf.  I await your judgment  ps. This was reviewed by the group including the PC who lost his wolf.