Who Let This Spider Cook?! Ch.25 (Patreon)

— Kakuei —

We were all set to go with Buku, who finally appeared in the war room! It was time to fight Yggdrasil's boss, Maliketh The World Eater, and finally beat this game once and for all! 

Within the game of Yggdrasil, there are nine realms, but there is also one more. This realm doesn’t have a definitive name, but it is the realm in which the World Tree, Yggdrasil, keeps her true body. 

It’s also the realm where the World Eater earned its title and devoured nearly all of Yggdrasil’s leaves. 

“Let’s do this! For perfect justice, we shall prevail!” Touch Me shouted the moment we teleported into the domain of Yggdrasil. 

“I can’t believe we’re really here,” Ulbert whispered to himself, and I had to agree. There was something special about creating this guild and building it up from the dirt. Initially, I, Touch Me, and Ulbert Alain Odle were just three good players running around like a bunch of idiots grinding, but now, we stood in front of the strongest guild in all of Yggdrasil, ready to fight against the strongest creature in this game. 

I turned around to the guild and took in their forms. Though I cannot claim to be friends with every single member due to the sheer toxicity of some of these fucks, I can gladly say that I am proud to be their leader. 

“Listen,” I said firmly but not louder than necessary. Everyone paused in their chatter to give me their full attention. “Years ago, I logged onto this game expecting to grasp everything this game had to offer.” I admitted while not expanding too much on just how much that truly meant.

“Yet in my attempt to gain everything, I realized that this game… it’s so much more than just a game. Yggdrasil… dare I say it’s better than most if not all of our lives.” 

I saw some nods in the group of people I had come to know as family, through the good and the bad, they have been here. 

“I’m sure all of you can remember your first day within this guild. Yggdrasil knows I do. Over the years, you’ve all pissed me off, at least more than once, and infinitely so in the case of Pero.” Rounds of laughter echoed through the vast cave we found ourselves in. 

“And now, the moment we all knew would come is here. The final boss fight. I cannot even begin to count how many raids we’ve fought in, how many foes we’ve conquered and slain, but I know I don’t need to.” I smiled internally. “Because I know I can recall upon each of those precious memories if I close my eyes and think of you all.” 

“Kakuei, why don’t you just shove your tongue in our mouths at this point, honestly it would be less icky if you did!” Warrior Takemikazuchi shouted. 

“Yeah, I gotta agree. Kakuei acting like a… dare I say, bitch?!” Ancient One added his own insult and that got the entire guild to start rolling insults. Hell, I even heard Momonga say some crazy shit! 

“And this is why I love you guys.” I turned around and faced the cave entrance. “Let’s end this, once and for all!” 

““RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”” The guild shouted and followed me as I rushed out of the cave. The first thing I noticed was the enviornment was much different.

A glowing purplish blue sky with several massive roots running around the cave’s entrance. In front of us was without a doubt the largest and most entrancing tree I had ever seen in either in my lives. 

Yggdrasil, the World Tree. With brown bark that looked as if it shined gold. Smooth grooves that would no doubt feel like the smoothest thing you’ve ever touched. And even without the leaves adorning this mighty and beautiful tree, it’s beauty still dominated this realm and the others. 

“Damn, now that’s a tree!” Pero pointed in awe and the rest of the guild was lost as wel. 

“And there’s the boss.” Joni snorted, looking at the other side of the tree where a hulking dragon looked like it was sleeping. 

“Well, Kakuei, do you want to do the honors?” Momonga asked. 

“Honestly, no,” I admitted without missing a beat. “Sounds like I’ll die horribly.”

“But you’re the strongest.” 

“Damn right I am, but you must be fucked in the head if you think I’m going to awaken the sleeping dragon.” 

The entire guild stared at me with emotionless faces, and I quickly realized that I wouldn’t have an out in this. 

“Fine, wait right here. Buku, Ulbert, Touch Me, Momonga, Bellriver, you all know your roles. Command your groups and succeed in this push!” 

““Right!””

I rushed forward, pulling out both of my weapons. Gram’s usual bright aura was no where to be found, completely negated by the sheer World Items the World Eater has consumed.

Upon reaching the massive dragon, I slashed downwards with both weapons,

 and to my surprise, I did more damage than I expected. 

[Maliketh, The True World Eater (Lvl ???)]

[Rank: Conqueror of Worlds]

[- 130,000 HP]

[HP: ?,???,???/?,???,???]

“”He has over seven digits of health?!”” I heard several members of the guild shout at once. I, however, wasn’t thinking of that. 

I did more damage than I thought I would with just one attack. I looked down at my weapons, and for the first time since World Savior had been bound to me, they were glowing brightly, much like Yggdrasil’s bark. 

World Savior… a world item, worked against a World Enemy. The World Eater, no less. 

That… makes way too much sense. 

“We’re fucked!” Pero shouted as he drew his bow.

“Get your act together!” Buku chastised her brother while also preparing for the fight of our lives. 

The massive dragon turned its body around to us, and our eyes roamed across its deep black scales and up to its vibrant crimson eyes. 

“GRAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!” 

“Blast it!” Ulbert ordered, raising his glowing staff and releasing a large fireball at the monster of a dragon. All of the mages within the guild followed Ulbert’s command and launched various mixtures of wind and fire attacks. 

[Maliketh, The True World Eater (Lvl ???)]

[Rank: Conqueror of Worlds]

[- 370,000 HP]

[HP: ?,???,???/?,???,???]

“It’s still in the seven digits.” I whispered to myself. 

“Everyone, get back!” Touch Me stepped in front of the group and launched himself toward the World Eater. 

I clicked my tongue at his recklessness and sheathed Gram before following behind him. 

“Joni, Vampira, Nishi!” I called out to the three World Champions.

“You don’t even gotta say it!” Joni shouted back, a wild grin audible in his tone as the three followed Touch Me and I.

The five of us reached the World Eater and winded our weapons back. 

““World Break!”” All of us shouted, cutting our blades into the dragon’s durable scales.

[Maliketh, The True World Eater (Lvl ???)]

[Rank: Conqueror of Worlds]

[- 532,000 HP]

[HP: ?,???,???/?,???,???]

“GRRAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!” The massive dragon howled in anger as it whipped it’s barbed tail at us. We jumped backwards, avoiding the attack with ease. 

I glared at the beast. It was still in the seven digits, even after five World Champions attacked it.

This thing was durable, and it hadn’t even started using its bullshit skills that I’ve heard so much about. 

“World Champions and Disasters! Save your strength! The rest of you, give that fucker everything you have!” I ordered, moving to the back of the group. 

““RAAAAAAH”” The guild shouted, albeit with less enthusiasm than they usually give. 

I split my body into three forms, creating the parallel existences. It minimized my power, but a few extra versions of me should minimize death within our guild at the very least. 

The dragon let out a deep roar as it launched itself into the air. Its powerful muscles glistened even under its deep black scales as it consumed the purple sky with its hulking form. 

A glowing light lit within the mouth of the dragon. The light was so bright that it actually blinded me for two seconds when I looked at it, so I just averted my gaze. I could feel an impending doom approaching. Finally, I realized too late what the dragon was doing. 

“Nuclear Flare, incoming!” Bellriver warned as Maliketh the World Eater launched a beam of light toward the guild.

BOOOOOOMMMMM

A large explosion ensued upon impact, and my gaze hardened at the spot where the dust was settling. Many of the guild members had managed to dodge the attack, but I could tell just as easily that some did not. 

[Guild Member: HeroHero has been slain.]

[Guild Member: Beast King Mekongawa has been slain.]

[Guild Member: Whitebrim has been slain.]

[Guild Member: Temperance has been slain.]

[Guild Member: Garnet has been slain.]

[Guild Member: Nubo has been slain.]

[Guild Member: Doodlebob420 has been slain.]

Silence was our response to the announcement that we had lost so many members in one singular attack. The silence wasn’t long standing as the World Eater basked in its small victory. 

“GRAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” 

Pero’s form which floated just above the dragon began to drop slowly. 

“... We’re so fucked.” 

— Chapter End —

Beta Reader: @Basilisk

Author’s Note: Working and writing has been a little tiresome, so I apologize for being late on uploads. I’ll try to correct that going forward.