Menagerie of Steel 2 (Patreon)

After school let out, I immediately ran to the only person I could talk to that would be able to give me advice regarding my date with Sophia. Within forty five minutes, I was parked outside Michael’s Lighthouse Church and (running) power walking inside. Father O'Connor was in the confession booth… things, so I slipped into the empty one and waited for him to finish.

After about ten minutes, the panel slid open and Father O'Connor looked through, "What can Ah do ye for, laddie? Ah know ye too well t' think yer here t'confess yer sins."

I nodded, acknowledging his assumption, before I said as bluntly as I could, "I need help."

Father O’Connor snorted in what almost sounded like paternal amusement, “Ah fig’red tha’ much, but Ah need more details. Is it ‘bout yer pop?”

…I never claimed to be particularly bright, because what he’d do to me upon finding out I had asked out a black girl was only just now occurring to me. With a wince, I told him, “It probably will be in the future, but not at the moment, it isn't. You remember me talking about how the Winslow teams are all shit?"

"Don' curse. Ye an' everyone else who goes t' tha shitehole o' a school. An' lemme stop ye ri't there: ye finally asked tha' track girl out an' now ye got yerself in a fookin tizzy. Am Ah close?"

I glared through the screen, "Don't you tell people not to cuss when you can match Skidmark for swears. And basically, but it's not that simple."

"Ah work'd on a ship f'r nearly fifty fookin years, Ah'll curse as much as Ah want to. Now, back t'yer date: when is it, what's she like t'do, an' how much r'ya willin' t'spend?"

It was a few hours, but I managed to get a decent date plan hashed out with Father O’Connor. Wednesday afternoon, after Winslow let out, I’d take the pickup truck that Father O’Connor insisted on loaning me and take her to a particular place on the Boardwalk.

[hr][/hr]

Sophia paced back and forth in the Wards' main room. The date steakout on Meadows was tomorrow, and she was dealing with pre-mission jitters. Taking a breath, she left the room, ignoring the ginger dipshit watching some inane cartoon with piss poor animation.

She needed advice, and there was no way in hell she'd ask her mother, two dollar Merchant whore that she was. That really only left her case worker (who was a lazy bum who met her once and told her to fuck off), the teachers at Winslow (who either were trying to relive the days when people gave a shit about them or couldn't be bothered to pretend they give a shit themselves), and the Protectorate heroes.

'Kinda sad, now that I think about it,' a quiet part of Sophia thought to herself. She ignored that part and made her way to Armsmaster's lab.

She could hear anyone and everyone screaming at her for going to him first. He was even more socially awkward than she was, but that meant that he wouldn't feed her some sappy bullshit that was put in shitty bodice ripping trash romance novels. He'd tell her straight, no shit that sounds good but doesn't actually help her.

Even the most basic bitch advice he could give would be better than nothing.

[hr][/hr]

"…Dragon," Armsmaster interrupted the Canadian Tinker. "That's what we always do."

Sophia facepalmed before leaving. He'd been on a video call with Dragon when she showed up, and Sophia had a front row seat to the head of the local Protectorate realizing that he'd been dating someone for months without realizing it!

Right, no big. She’d ask Battery.

[Hr][/hr]

"I'm so proud of you!" Assault shouted as he wrapped Sophia in a bear hug, making her kick and try to get free. "Our prickly ex-vigilante is growing up!"

Sophia used her power to turn into a cloud and slip free, before fleeing leaving through the door. Of course she had the shit luck of Battery having the day off and being stuck with Assault.

Well, third time's the charm. That was a thing, right?

[Hr][/hr]

"Sorry," Miss Militia apologized with a shrug. "I never felt any desire for anything more than workplace friendships. Armsmaster had more interest in dating than I do."

"USELESS!" Sophia screamed, thoroughly out of fucks. "YOU'RE ALL USELESS!!!"

[Hr][/hr]

Wednesday came, and I did my best not to let my nerves get to me as I met with Sophia in front of the school. Barnes and Clements said their goodbyes to her, and I led her to Father O'Connor's pickup.

"I'll admit," Sophia said as we put our backpacks into the bed of the truck. "I'd figured you for a sports car guy."

"Fuck that," I shot back as I got into the driver’s seat. "Sports cars are only good for showing off, gimme something with practical use any day. On top of that I don't actually have my own car, the priest at the church I volunteer at loaned it to me."

She gave me a surprised look, "You don't seem like the charitable type."

"Because I'm not," I said, answering the unspoken question. "I just want to spend as little time around the house as possible, and I'd rather wear a sweaty hair net and give soup to people who smell like they haven't seen a bar of soap in months than sign up for a gang that glorifies the people my grandparents fought against in World War II."

"I get that," she said as she leaned against the passenger door. "So, what did you have in mind?"

"Well, I have a hunch that the typical movie or coffee shop deal would be a disappointment, so I did some looking around and found this place on the Boardwalk I think you'll enjoy," I said with a chuckle. "You'll see when we get there."

She let out a growl, but didn't push. If we were in a different city, or had been dating a while, I'd cover her eyes to make it a surprise, but that was a surefire way to make the date end early. Instead, I parked the truck and led her to the place that Father O’Connor helped me pick out.

"What do you think?" I asked, doing my best to keep from letting my nerves color my voice.

Sophia was quiet for a minute, before turning to face me with an eager, challenging grin on her face, "How about we make it a bit more interesting?"

"What did you have in mind?" I asked, curious.

"Best of three, loser pays for dinner?" she challenged.

"Deal," I agreed, holding a hand out which she promptly shook, before tightening her grip and dragging me into the laser tag arcade.

[Hr][/hr]

"That will be twenty two sixteen," the acne infested face behind the register read off in a bored tone.

I handed over the money with a good natured grumble as Sophia radiated smugness. I scored thirty points over three matches. Sophia got one oh seven. Thus, I was paying for dinner at Fugly Bob's. We got our choice of soda to drink and found a table out of the way before sitting down.

"Something I've been wondering," Sophia began after taking a drink, "is why me? Emma's prettier than me, even ignoring the presence of the Empire in the city."

I took a moment to consider my answer, before saying, "A small part of it, if I do a little armchair psychology, has to do with a man I respect suffering from skin cancer making my lizard brain think 'dark skin, less chance of skin cancer.' Part of it is just to piss off the nazis. But the rest of it... it's your fitness."

A puzzled expression colored Sophia's face, so I elaborated, "Most of my old man's female coworkers have big tits, so that's not enough for me to ask someone out, and in any case, it doesn't tell me shit about the girl I'm thinking about asking out. But your level of fitness and athleticism? That takes effort and dedication, which is something that I can admire. It’s not the size of your chest or the shape of your face that makes you beautiful to me, it’s the work you put into yourself."

She stared at me, her eyes wide and her jaw dropped in surprise. For a long beat, she just stared at me in silence, and I wondered what was going through her mind.

[hr][/hr]

Sophia used every trick she had in order to keep her face from heating up. That… what he said was… how the ever loving fuck was she supposed to respond to something like that?! She was expecting something like it being a teen rebellion, or some shit about raceplay kinks, not a genuine compliment.

She blinked, and realized something. She’d been given compliments before, but why did this one hit so differently? Sure, most compliments were about her fighting skills or her powers but why… no. Not most. They all had been about those things. This was the first time that she’d ever been called ‘beautiful’ and he said it so simply, like it was something obvious.

[hr][/hr]

Our food arrived, and conversation was put on hold by mutual agreement. There would be time for conversation after, and at school. For now, we’d focus on eating. Though like most attempts at the Quiet Game, that didn’t last very long.

“What exactly is that?” Sophia asked as I took a bite out of my burger. “I know it’s not the Challenger, but I didn’t think they made other burgers that big.”

Swallowing the mouthful of fatty, bacony, porky goodness, I took the top napkin off the six inch stack that came with my order and wiped my mouth off before answering, “The Challenger’s the most well known, but they’ve got some other specialty type burgers on the menu. You don’t get your picture taken for beating any of the others, but this one’s basically considered the training version of the Challenger. It’s called the Sabbath Killer.”

“The what?” Sophia asked, an unimpressed look on her face.

“Two one pound patties, half pork and half beef with two slices of cheese on the inside, a pound of bacon strips on top, fried in bacon grease, crumbled bacon mixed into the bread before it’s baked, and that’s just the stuff I’ve been able to figure out. I suspect there’s also something pork related in the secret sauce,” I explained. Sophia stared at me as I took another bite, her eyes taking in the amount of grease and fat dripping off the stack of meat, fat, and bread in my hands.

She finally asked, “How the ever loving fuck do you eat that and manage to be as jacked as you are?”

“This is the second one I’ve had all year,” I answered easily. “The last one was back in January.”

Given how it was late September, Sophia easily accepted the explanation. I also wasn’t going to order the Challenger, I’d tried in the past and had barely managed half of it.

[hr][/hr]

All in all, I had to call it a successful date. Especially since when I drove Sophia to her neighborhood, she asked, “Same date next week?”

“Wouldn’t miss it,” I answered as she shut the door and got her backpack out of the bed of the pickup.

Taking a deep breath, I managed to hold in the whoop of joy until I was halfway back to returning Father O’Connor’s truck. Who was waiting outside with an amused and almost smug grin on his face as I pulled up.

“Ya kiss ‘er, laddie?” he asked as I shut off the truck and got out.

“No, I did not kiss her,” I said, still in too good a mood to give the old man my usual snark. “Still the first date old timer.”

“Ah can hope, can’ Ah?” he shot back. “Ah like ya laddie, so keep in mind tha’ ya got at leas’ one man rootin’ for ya.”

The reminder soured my mood. Yeah, that was a bit of an issue. I needed to somehow juggle dating Sophia with the fact that 95% of the people I knew on more than a head nodding basis were part of the Empire. Even considering the fact that I was Hookwolf’s son wouldn’t help me, hell it would make it worse.

“Father,” I said quietly as I handed over the keys. “If something happens…”

I swallowed, trying to dislodge the lump that had formed in my throat, and he put a hand on my shoulder, “If ya need it, Ah’ll have a spare bed fer ya.”

“Thanks,” I said, forcing back the emotions that were bubbling up from it. “I better get back to the house, I know someone won’t be happy I’m back so late.”