Helluva Time! 4 (Patreon)

Where: Office of Immediate Murder Professionals, Imp City, Pride Ring, Hell

When: 298 days to next Purge

Who: Millie

Boss was gettin’ the details on our next job from a blonde Sinner, while the rest of us were shootin’ the breeze with a picture of some human family and Moxxie’s crossbow. It was kinda fun, even if Moxxie’s fuzzy head made pullin’ the trigger harder than it normally would be.

Loona was layin’ out some possible sins to get Moxxie’s head in the right space, when there was the sound of a gun cocking, firing, and a voice screaming, [url=https://youtu.be/-3gx-jyEL3I]“Big guts and bigger guns!”[/url]

“Excuse me,” Jacques said in his usual monotone as he pulled out his phone. Answering it as he headed to the door, his greeting sent a shiver down her, Moxie, and Loona’s spines, “Hello Uncle Alastor.”

As the door shut, all three of us let out sighs of relief, before Moxxie spoke up, “I’m not the only one still having trouble processing the fact that the Radio Demon has family, am I?”

“No, you’re not,” Loona drawled as she looked at the door through which Jacques’s silhouette could be seen.

“At least Jacques ain’t as kill-happy as his uncle,” I mused, “Even if he’s weird, and not lahk most Sinners are.”

Before any of us said anything else, Boss kicked open the door to his office with his usual enthusiasm, “GUYS I WANT YOU TO MEET…”

The surprise caused Moxxie to jerk his crossbow up and pull the trigger, sending the bolt bouncing through the office. It bounced off the walls, ceiling, carpet, passed close enough to me that I jumped up into my hubby's arms as it knocked the computer monitor to the floor, through the picture Loona was holdin’ up, against the leg of the aquarium, before Boss grabbed it six inches from the Client’s face.

“Our newest client,” Boss finished, moments before the aquarium fell over, spilling the eels all over the carpet… and setting the place on fire. “Dammit Moxxie, I just bought those eels!”

That same moment Jacques stepped back in, “Blitzø, I will need…” Jacques blinked upon seeing the flames before his shadow stretched and darkened. Covering the walls, the ceiling, the floor, arms made of shadows reaching out and smothering the flames while also lifting the aquarium back upright and tossing the eels back inside it. When the last fire was put out, Jacques pulled his shadows back, his eyes glowing a vibrant, venomous green as he reigned in his power.

As if a switch was flipped, Jacques was back to his normal, seemingly emotionless self, “I will need a day or two off.”

Boss blinked, forcing down a shudder at the display of Jacques’s power. Before he cocked his head to the side, eyebrow raised, and asked, “Why? We just got a client and it’d be your first time on Earth since you died.”

“My uncle called, he’s arranged a game at the hotel he’s funding.”

“Right now? Who’s the other player?”

“The owner of the hotel, though he said that it was probable that her bodyguard would insist on a game first.”

“Hmm… well, anyone that the Radio Demon works with has gotta be high up. Just make sure to include us in any terms about retaliation,” Boss said while pointing at Jacques.

“Okay.”

Jacques walked out the door, and as it closed the client asked, “Is he always like that?”

“What? Monotone, creepy, and extremely literal? Normally he’s worse,” Loona drawled.

The client nodded with a quirk to her lips, “Ah. I thought so. I suppose it makes sense, but I honestly didn’t think about seeing someone with his circumstance in Hell.”

The four of us blinked, before turning to look at her. Moxie was the one to voice what we were all thinking, “Hang on, you know why he’s like that?”

“I wouldn’t swear by it, and I didn’t work with them in my day to day, but I’m pretty sure that he’s on the autism spectrum. Basically his brain is wired differently, so common aspects of social interactions just don’t register for him. From what I’ve seen, I’d say he’s got mild-to-moderate autism.”

“Sunnova bitch! That’s why he didn’t tell us about Paimon!” Boss shouted in realization.

“Come again?”

“When Jacques was first hired we asked if he’d made any enemies, and he said no while neglecting to mention that a high ranking demon attacked him to get at his uncle,” Moxie explained, causing the client to nod.

“Makes sense, he most likely didn’t see the demon attacking him as him having an enemy. There was a well known woman with autism who couldn’t go into her bedroom if the sign with her name wasn’t on the door.”

“Well that clears up a shit load of potential headaches. New rule guys: consider the most literal, annoying way to consider anything you say to Jacques and assume that’s how he’s going to take it!”

[hr][/hr]

Where: [s]Happy[/s] Hazbin Hotel, Pentagram City, Pride Ring, Hell

When: 298 days to next Purge

Who: Vaggie

I still couldn’t believe that Charlie was going through with this. It was a bad idea, but there wasn’t any talking her out of it. Much as I loved how empathetic and caring she is, there is such a thing as too much. Still, I’d at least managed to convince her to let me play his game first. That way if I noticed anything off about it, I’d be able to warn her.

A knock on the hotel front door drew everyone’s attention, and it was almost a guarantee who it was. Niffty raced over to the front door and threw it open, revealing the rather unassuming looking Sinner on the other side, and wrapping her arms around his legs in an enthusiastic hug, “JACQUES!”

“Hello Niffty,” he said with a polite if bland tone, awkwardly patting her head as he did so.

“It’s been so boring since you left, and you haven’t been back to your apartment and I’ve been worried that you were killed during the last Purge but then Alastor said he visited you and he convinced Miss Mange to play a dice game with you then Miss Vagatha objected and they spent a month arguing before Alastor called you over and now you’re here!”

“After my game with Paimon I decided it would be better if I spent some time outside of Pentagram city.”

Nifty looked up at him, pouting slightly, “Why couldn’t you have told me?”

“Now, now Niffty,” Alastor spoke up, his grin with a hint of a predatory edge, “Let the lad inside. We have business to conduct afterall.”

Within a few moments, Charlie, Alastor, his nephew and I were all sitting at a table, ten dice and two cups in the center. I chose the stakes: he wouldn’t try to hurt Charlie or the Hotel, I wouldn’t try to hurt him. Jacques explained the rules of the game: we roll two dice to determine who goes first, shake ten dice in a cup before putting them on the table, then make wagers for what we think are on all the faces, each turn we had to up either the number or the face value, number of faces could go down if we upped the value but the value couldn’t, keep going until we think the other one lied, if they were telling the truth the caller loses, otherwise the caller wins. Three rounds, loser of the last round goes first. Ones are ones, not wilds.

Taking two of the dice, I rolled them. One and three. His roll, one and four. So he was going first. Making my roll, I glanced under the cup. Two ones and three fours.

“Three ones,” Jacques said after looking under his cup.

So he probably had at least two, combined with my own that would be more than enough. “Two twos,” I decided.

“Two fours.”

I forced back a twitch in my eye. If he had fours, combined with my own. I couldn’t call him on this, so I had to up it. “Four fours.”

“Three fives.”

I froze. His monotone made it hard to read him, but I was sure I heard an uncomfortable measure of confidence in his tone. But I was certain he had two ones and a four, and there was just the first round, “I don’t think so, show ‘em.”

He lifted his cup, and my face dropped. He did have A one, but he didn’t have a single four. Instead he had a two and three fives. He won the first round. Biting back a sigh, I threw my dice back into the cup and started shaking. Throwing it down on the table, I peeked under the edge. Two ones, a two, a four, and a five. Not good.

The only matches I had were the worst I could have. If ones were wild then I’d have a decent cup, but instead it sucked. Looking at Jacques, I tried to read his expression as he looked under his cup. Nothing, he was even harder to read than his uncle.

Biting back a growl, I called out, “Three twos.”

“Two fours.”

He didn’t even hesitate, fuck. I’ve never seen someone whose face was so hard to read. His eyes were dead (ironically), and his face hadn’t even twitched. Still, better to bet safe, “Two fives.”

He blinked, as he stared at me. I tried to keep my face blank, hoping he wouldn’t call. If he didn’t have any fives, then I’d lose two rounds in a row. Fortunately, he instead said, “Two sixes.”

This was my only chance, “I don’t think so.” If he had two… whew, he only had one. We both had won a round, so this was the last one.

“All on this Toots,” Angel Dust called out as he hovered over the table, drawn by the crowd.

“Shut up,” I snapped as I rolled the dice.

The last round was surprisingly tense, ending when I called out his claim of four fives. Unfortunately, he had four fives. It was only as I realized that I lost, that I felt it. A bond between us that snapped. It left a ragged hole in my being where it’d connected, but nothing notable. Enough to itch, but not hurt. Still, I could already feel the hole healing. It’d be raw and itchy for a little bit, but nothing serious. With my last objection out of the way, I reluctantly handed the cup and dice over to Charlie.

The terms were similar to the ones from my game with him, and Charlie rolled her two dice. Six and two. Jacques rolled one and five. I couldn’t see under either of their cups from where I was sitting, so all I could do is wait and watch.

“Two twos,” Charlie opened, and I had to do a double take when I saw her face. I… wasn’t expecting to see her exuberant, happy face.

“Two threes,” Jacques returned.

“Two fours,” Charlie immediately shot back, her expression never changing.

“Three fours.”

“Two fives.”

“Three fives.”

“Four fives.”

Jacques paused. The rest of us took the opportunity to catch up, the rapid fire exchange having occurred in less than a minute. He looked under his cup, before glancing at Charlie, whose face was still holding the same expression it did when she first rolled.

“I call you a liar,” he finally said, making the call after a longer pause than the round had taken.

“Well, I don’t have four fives,” Charlie started as she lifted her cup at the same time as Jacques, letting everyone see all the dice. “But with the fives you have, it looks like I win this round.”

Indeed, between the two of them, there were four fives. Both of them had two. Jacques gave Charlie a nod, before both of them rolled their dice again. Since Jacques lost, he opened with, “Two twos.”

Charlie, her exuberant grin in place, called, “Two threes.”

“Four threes.”

“Three fours.”

“Two fives.”

Charlie paused, her expression not changing, but I knew her well enough to see what she was thinking. I could tell that she had at least one five, which meant that calling it would be a dangerous gamble. But if she upped the call, then pretty soon it’d reach the point where neither of them could possibly have the right number of faces.

“Three fives,” Charlie called out, a brief moment after Jacques’s.

“I call. Show your dice,” Jacques said, lifting his cup at the same time.

Unlike before, this time Charlie had bitten off more than she could chew. Between the two of them, there were only two fives. Meaning that the last round would decide it. They rolled their cups, checked what they had, and Charlie opened the final round.

“Three ones.”

“Two twos.”

“Three threes.”

“Two sixes.”

Jacques’s last wager made everyone at the table pause. It was such a high jump… there was no way he didn’t have what he’d just wagered. Unless he was counting on that and wanted Charlie to up the number of sixes so he could call her a liar. Great, I’d just talked myself into not knowing if he’s crazy or brilliant.

“Three sixes.” Charlie said, with a tone I recognized. She knew that she’d just lost.

Even now, as Jacques lifted his cup while calling Charlie’s bluff, his face remained impassive, a hint of a frown being the only sign of emotion. Charlie’s smile became genuine, before Jacques’s face warped in a rictus of pain.

Kicking his chair back, Jacques let out a groan of pain as he leaned against the table. Niffty ran over to his side, moments before there was a tearing sound and several bones ripped through the back of his jeans. With a skittering, crawling noise, muscle and blood followed the bone. Muscle audibly tore, as his fingers snapped and healed, his fingernails elongating and sharpening. What skin was visible started to grow a short coat of fur, most of it black, but a red sheen to it in the right light. His horns grew, stretching out and growing another set of prongs, giving him a total of ten on both sides.

After maybe a full minute, his transformation stopped, and I got a chance to gauge his power. The result made my jaw drop. I knew Charlie was powerful, she couldn’t be anything but considering who her parents were. But… if he took the same relative amount from her that he did from me…

Before he was about as powerful as any of the Vs, now he felt more than three times as powerful as Alastor! More than that, his power felt… natural. Like he was born in Hell instead of arriving after his death. Did that mean… that he could travel to the other rings?

“How are you feeling, my boy?” Alastor asked as Niffty helped Jacques to stand.

Jacques shook his head, his free hand rubbing at his temple as he adjusted to the extra weight on his head. It took a moment before he answered, “I feel… incredible. But off balance, and all my sense of control is shot.”

“Well you did just join the Big Leagues, Kid,” Husk noted in between chugs of his swill.

“May I spend some time at your estate to acclimate to my new power, Uncle?”

“Certainly, my boy! Niffty, would you mind making sure he gets there? You get reacquainted at the same time,” Alastor easily agreed.